


He's my idiot

by Livitup



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Cuddling, Horibe ItonaxTerasaka Ryouma, M/M, Other, itona and terasaka will get together, some angst in chapters to come, some language, terasaka has a van, this is really weird
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-25 22:45:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 49
Words: 85,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7550167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livitup/pseuds/Livitup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was all because of a muscle suit. If it weren't for that none of this drama would of happened.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How I went to class in a muscle suit

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. Random first chapter. ( first time writing something ever. Don't kill me) Terasaka gets stuck in a muscle suit. This is going somewhere. I promise.

Terasaka's P.O.V  
Truth or dare with my gang is never exactly safe. It's fun though until something goes crazily wrong.  
The players were me, Yoshida, and Muramatsu. Itona manged to get out of it with some excuse about Ritsu. I don't think Hazama even acknowledged us when we asked if she wanted to play. She was reading some stupid book so it was the three of us.

Every time just the three of us play truth or dare there seems to be a theme. We try not to do that but every time one of us dares the other to do something, the one who was dared tries to get revenge by going along the same lines but worse.

Our trio slunk off to the pool/lake to play. Muramatsu was carrying his man-purse with him. It's actually one of those takeout delivery bags they use at restraunts. He carries all sorts of food in there, crappy and decent, and tries to shove it down someone's throat. When he started lagging behind I couldn't help but make fun of him.

" Ditch the purse princess..." I was cut off by a steaming bowl of ramen in the face. Damn he's fast.

"WHAT THE HELL!"

Muramatsu shrugged. " It's an improvement to your normally stupid, ugly face"

That sounded like something Itona would say. I'll take crap from him but no one else.

" SHUDDUP!"

I would have pushed the bastard in the lake if Yoshida hadn't stopped me.

" Woah, Woah calm down. Terasaka, you can get revenge on him during truth or dare.

" I slumped down trying to figure out how to really get Muramatsu for that facefull of stupid ramen.... Hold on, RAMEN!

"Muramatsu, truth or dare" I half sang.

" Dare" he answered, crossing his arms.

" Glue a bowl of ramen upside down on your head. With the ramen still in it. The crappy stuff"

The look on his face was so priceless, I didn't think about the crap ton of revenge that was headed my way.

" I have superglue!" Yoshida announced.

" How the hell did you get that?" I said.

" Karma lent it to me. It was meant for you." I made a self message to slap the shit out of Karma.

We gave Muramatsu the ramen makeover and laughed at him for about fifteen minutes. Then we miraculously remembered why we were here and continued the game.

" Yoshida, truth or dare" Muramatsu growled.

" Dare" Yoshida answered, preparing for the thunderstorm.

" Ok hold still"

Muramatsu pulled five huge tubes of glitter out of his man-purse, ahem, takeout bag. He began covering Yoshida in the stuff.

" Where the hell did you get that?" I asked

" Karma again" He answered. " Also meant for you" Karma was going to die

When Yoshida was sparkly enough to blind someone, it was my turn.

" Terasaka, truth or dare" Yoshida said, far to happily for someone who had just been glitterfied. That was a little unnerving.

" Truth" I answered.

" Aww come on!" Muramatsu yelled.

" Don't wuss out on us!" Yoshida yelled.

" Ok ok dare" I said.

" Well, get it out" Yoshida said to Muramatsu.

" What...?" I asked.

" We ordered something special for you." Yoshida said. 

" No. Way. In. HELL!"

It was a muscle suit. A bright purple muscle suit.

" THERE IS NO WAY I'M TOUCHING THIS!"

" Too late, you picked dare" Muramatsu said, holding up the suit with Yoshida, smiling creepily.

It was like a nightmare. I was being confronted by someone with ramen for hair and a human disco ball who wanted me to wear a purple muscle suit. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

I was forced to take off all of my clothes and put on the suit. It was AWFUL. Electric purple looks almost scary with skin. The bulging rubber muscles almost blocked my view. It was fun flexing though. Damn that sounded weird.

The three of us were goofing off and acting like idiots like usual until we remembered that we had to get back to the school for our next class. The octopus actually started giving us detention.

One of our truth or dare rules is that you can undo anything that is done to you before going back in public.

Yoshida jumped into the lake to wash of the glitter. Muramatsu followed suit. It didn't do much do get rid of the bowl though but that wasn't a big deal. He's always doing weird things to advertise for his family's restaurant so him wearing a ramen bowl on his head wasn't all that weird. 

I was more that ready to get out of the stupid muscle suit. The only problem was that the tiny zipper was under the huge left bicep and I couldn't get to it.

" One of you assholes get over here and help me!" I demanded.

Yoshida scrambled over and started helping. " You know, I thought this was smaller when I ordered it. OH SHIT!"

That did not sound good. Muramatsu joined Yoshida, eyes wide. That was not good.

"Hey Terasaka, how much do you like the suit?" Yoshida asked nervously.

" I fucking hate it. Why?"

Yoshida stood up, smiling stupidly, holding up... THE TINY ZIPPER!

"YOU DID NOT JUST FUCKING TRAP ME IN THIS!" I yelled.

Muramatsu started rubbing his knuckle on one of the rubber triceps.

" Dude, that's creepy." I said.

" I'm just trying to get rid of the color. Our best bet to get you out will be at the school. Just trying to make it look more normal if you know what I mean."

With no better plan, all three of us started rubbing and the suit.

He was right. Yoshida had a small screwdiver back at the school that could cut me out. The only problem was getting through a class in the damn suit.

We sucessfuly changed the color of the suit with all the rubbing. Unfortunately we made it worse. We turned it fucking LIGHT PINK! It could pass for skin if the person had pinkeye all over his body and was dying of it.

" It looks... Ok" Yoshida said. 

We next tried putting my clothes on over the suit. That failed because I looked crazily bloated. We found a solution that involved me taking all of our belts and strapping down all of the muscles. It didn't look pretty, but with clothes it could pass for normal.

We finally covered me in ramen broth to cover the smell of rubber cause' if the Octopus smelled the rubber and found out what I was wearing, everyone would know. That octo-perv can't keep a secret.

We decided that was good enough and started making our way to the school. That was pure torture for three reasons. One, it was like a million degrees in that suit.

Two, Yoshida ad Muramatsu kept cracking up every two minutes after looking at me.

Third was also because of heat. All my sweat pooled in the suit so I was waist deep in it. You could hear it fucking SLOSHING!

Those two assholes just HAD to buy the full body suit. I read the suit packing. Apparently this model is good because of the tight sealing onto the skin. Fuck that.

By the time I got to the school building, there were about five minutes of break left. I also was practically drowning in sweat

Hazama and Itona were sitting together in the shade. Hazama was still reading the book and Itona was working on his tank. Neither were speaking. I think that's how their friendship works out.

If Hazama noticed that I was slightly more bloated than usual, she didn't let on. I heard Itona mutter, " Stupid asshole Terasaka under his breath, so I didn't know if he noticed or not. 

" Hey Terasaka"

I scowled. " What do you want Karma" 

" I want to know why your as fat as a pig" he said with that stupid sadistic grin.

I made a fist and was about to hit the little bastard when Itona cut in.

"The stupid asshole probably ate something poisonous. It's a miracle he even knows how to breathe."

I was about to hit Itona now. Just before I swung, Itona fired his tank at me. The muscle suit did something right and shielded me from the bullet. But the stupid piece of shit failed directly after by making the bullet bounce off the inflated chest and rebound back at Itona. 

He ducked a millisecond before it would have taken his eye out. I felt kind of bad until he gave me a death glare. Then I just felt guilty. I swear there's a nuclear weapon in his eyes. 

Karma stared at me, but then just walked off, muttering about bullet proof vests. At least he was gone.

I could hear the octopus calling for us. It was apparently time for 'the great study of numbers' or math. I could hardly walk I was so overheated from the suit. Also, the rubber was getting sticky so I could hear it SQUEAKING! I had to walk like a penguin to avoid sounding like a mouse. I thought I was doing pretty good until Nagisa stopped me.

" Hey Terasaka, are you alright? your arms look kind of swollen."

Muramatsu had paint in his man purse, ( Where the hell does all that stuff come from?) but it was only enough to cover my arms and make them look skin colored. That was good because my shirt had short sleeves and it wouldn't cover the freakishly large arm muscles.

Nagisa was being nice by saying kind of swollen because the muscles were at their normal huge size. It would look weird if I strapped belts on those. 

" Uh yeah, I'm just fine. Totally normal."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Hazama face palm, so I guessed she knew what was going on. Nagisa nodded and sat down. I tried to do the same. The ass on the suit was like a giant cushion so sitting on it made me look three inches taller. Just great.

Writing was impossible. I could hardly move the pencil because the muscles kept nudging it. I was also forced to go to the front of the room and read the poem I had written. It was a haiku and it went like this.

Muscle suits shall die  
Along with my stupid friends  
I hate you so much 

Everyone watched me waddle like a penguin to the front of the room and back to my seat. It also didn't help when Itona whispered stupid asshole Terasaka as I sat down.

I showed him my middle finger but then got a yell of, " Terasaka, be nice!" from the octopus. This day was turning out fucking awful. 

Somehow I made it through class. We had a twenty minute break because Koro Sensei found out that his junk food stash was gone so he left to buy more. That was perfect. Yoshida could finally cut me loose before class started

I found him frantically digging in his bag. 

" Ok, time to cut me free"I said.

No response.

" Time to cut me free" I repeated.

Still no response.

" CUT ME FREE DAMMIT!" I yelled.

" Uh yeah about that" Yoshida said, finally answering. " Icantfindit" he mumbled.

" What?"

" I can't find it" 

" WHAT!" 

I was forced to go three more classes with the damn muscle suit thanks to damn Yoshida. Language arts was the worst. 

Bitch-sensei was doing a lesson on smack talk which I doubt was in the curriculum, but it was a dream come true for Itona. After I got nailed by him the sixteenth time I had enough.

" LISTEN UP YOU STUPID ASSHOLE! I AM DONE!"

" Try harder Terasaka" Bitch-sensei said. You aren't really smack talking him.

I got nailed a few more times but didn't try anything. Nothing interesting happened until Karma started slamming me

" Hey Terasaka, if ugliness was measured in bricks, you'd be the great wall of china!

I made a fist and aimed for Karma's smart ass head.

" He's mine"

That comment came out of no where. surprisingly, Itona said it. Bitch-sensei raised an eyebrow. Itona looked surprised that he said it.

" I meant that I'm the only one who can smack talk Terasaka" He said way to fast for that to be the truth. Bitch-sensei shrugged and the 'lesson' continued. 

It was the end of the day and I still hadn't gotten out of the muscle suit. I was sitting alone in the corner while Itona worked on Ritsu's box. We were the only one's in the room. It was quiet

" Hey Terasaka"

" AAAAAAAGH!" I yelled. Itona had snuck up behind me. 

" DON'T DO THAT!" 

He shrugged. 

" How long do you intend to stay in that muscle suit?"

" HOW DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?!"

He shrugged again. " I'm good at noticing things. Do you want help getting out?"

He had known the whole damn time 

I was going to say something about wanting to have it on, but this might be the only help I get.

" Yeah. That would be nice. 

He picked up a small knife with a real blade. 

" Hold still" He said as he started to cut the suit in half.

He cut along the seal that kept the suit from falling in half. That entire thing went all the way around the suit so It took him a few minutes to get going.

He started cutting down my leg then up the inside of it. And now he was... 

" I said stop moving stupid asshole"

I started shuddering when he went over my crotch with the knife. I could tell Itona noticed because he was blushing. He looked really cute.

He finally finished cutting and I was a little disappointed when he moved away. That didn't last long though because suit fell away from my body in two perfect halves. I was OUT!

" Yes yes yes!" I yelled dancing around the room in my underwear. It was only when Itona started applauding my dance moves when I remembered I wasn't alone.

" Uh thanks Itona" I said, turning scarlet. " Uh yeah. Your welcome" 

We stood there blushing for about five minutes. Why the hell was I blushing? and why did I feel so awkward right now? 

I decided to break the silence. 

" So why did you actually do something nice and help me?"

Itona looked up at me, still blushing and damn was he adorable. He then looked more like regular Itona and said " I pity dumb animals" 

All of the awkwardness vanished at that.

" YOU ARE SO DEAD!" I yelled, throwing the knife at him. I missed by a mile.

As we ran out of the room we both didn't notice that Ritsu had powered back on and was making a heart with her hands. I also didn't realize I left my clothes behind 

I chased Itona outside and almost plowed Yoshida and Muramatsu over. Hazama was behind them, still reading. 

" Terasaka, I found it!" Yoshida said, holding up a screwdriver. " It was in the man purse!" " Bag!" Muramatsu corrected.  
Wait. That meant... " WE HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME!" I yelled. " Well yeah." Yoshida said. " Hey you got out!" 

" I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!" I screamed and chased after those two bastards. The ones who started it all

I was far away but I could still hear Itona call " Stupid asshole Terasaka!"


	2. How I was hurt by an idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought he was finally making friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka and Itona get in a fight. They'll make up though

Itona's P.O.V  
" WHAT THE HELL!"  
I was staring at Terasaka's face. He's such an asshole. He was complaining about reading a whole book. I stare a lot so I can get away with looking at Terasaka. I like him though. He saved my life. 

Class is too quiet. I don't like it when it's too quiet. My mind starts to wander. I really like Terasaka. I'm afraid he doesn't like me. He's such an idiot. I want him to be my idiot. I'm afraid if he finds out how much I like him he will stop liking me. I don't want him to leave me. He'll abandon me. Like Shiro. Ugh Shiro.

He was my partner. He said he would stay with me. He left me though. He left me to die. He called me 'Guinea pig' only using my real name when we were in public. I don't want Terasaka to be like that too. Like my father who abandoned me. My uncle who hated me. 

That's why I force the insults. Something to keep him away but still keep him close. I have to stop doing this. Stop thinking or I'm going to start crying. I don't want Terasaka to see me cry. He has before though.

When I had the tentecles for the last time. When I was insane. While he was talking me down, I started crying. He was the only one who noticed and he didn't tell anyone. i appreceated that.

Shiro wasn't like him. I want Shiro to die. Die horribly by my hand. Dammit, I was about to start crying. Thankfully Terasaka's voice broke the silence. 

" Hey shrimp, we're going to Muramatsu's for poisonous crap, I mean food"  
I heard Muramatsu yell " IT'S GOTTEN GOOD AND YOU KNOW IT!"

Terasaka ignored him and got closer to me. " Well? How bout' it? or are you going to continue to live in here" He started ruffling my hair in indication to my head. I love when anyone does that, but I especially love Terasaka's touch. 

" Yeah Ok" I said and got up following him out the door. We made it to Muramatsu's without him bursting into tears because of ramen comments.( It's happened) 

We got there and did the usual. Muramatsu cooked. Yoshida and Terasaka were arguing loudly about something. It was nice to drown in the noise. Hazama was reading again. It was a book called Monster of the deep. I peeked around her and read the back of the book.

She shouldn't of gotten close to the creature. She really shouldn't of married him. She definitely shouldn't of had a child with him. Now she has a boy. A monster with tentacles. Will the monstrosity live or will she kill her own... I couldn't read any more with the tears blurring in my eyes. 

Terasaka noticed and started making it a scene. " Hazama! You said you wouldn't read that!"

She rolls her eyes and stares at him. " Terasaka, We all know you have this weird grudge against books. I don't. I can read what ever I want" Terasaka attempts to make a subtle head motion towards me, but when you have a head bigger than Russia, its hard to be subtle. 

" Stop annoying me Terasaka or I'll smack you in the face with this book... Ohhhh" She says, trailing off looking at me. " Sorry Itona"  
I shrugged. " It's OK" It had been a weirdly rough day. Normally tentacle stuff didn't bother me too much. Maybe it was Terasaka looking at me with his usual idiot look. Wait. That wasn't his normal look. He looked almost... Concerned?

" Terasaka, I'm not weak. Go pity someone else" The words flew out of my mouth before I could even think about what I was saying. To be honest I wanted him to scoop me up in his arms and hug me close, saying everything would be alright. 

" Jeez, fine." I thought for sure he would say something back, but he just turned back to Yoshida. I caught a glimpse of his face and realized that he looked hurt. I wanted to smash my head onto the table, or maybe just apologize but I couldn't find the words.

Terasaka had been acting weird ever since the muscle suit indecent. He seems to want to be closer to me than usual. I'm not complaining, but as much as I want him to get closer, I'm a little afraid for him to. 

We finished at Muramatsu's and went our separate ways. Koro sensei had been paying for a hotel room for me so, that's where I stayed the night. I sat awake thinking for a while about Terasaka's new strange behavior.

The next day at school was normal enough until lunch. I was getting ready to go outside when Ritsu stopped me. " Hey Itona? I think one of my guns are stuck. It wouldn't come out all the way during the assassination. I almost shot Okano. Can you maybe look at it?" 

" Yeah Ok" Maybe its because Ritsu's not exactly normal, but I've always felt a connection with her

I finished fixing Ritsu's gun. It turned out there was a page from a porn magazine in there. I would question Okajima, but somethings are best left unspoken. I don't want another three hour lecture about thongs. 

I was getting ready to walk away when Ritsu said, " So, are you and Terasaka a thing?" I almost tripped over a chair. " WHAT! Um, No we're not" Ritsu giggled. That reaction wasn't weird at all. I mean, people were talking, mostly Karma and... Itona what are you doing?" 

I opened the back of Ritsu, where all the wires are, and located the computer chip with her memory on. " This." i said. " Play it for me" " Itona..." She started but I hit a few buttons near the chip and a little window appeared over her head showing the days events

At nine, Okajima was dancing around naked, nine thirty, Octopus arrives and sneakily takes pictures of Okajima. Skip ahead to nine forty five and Sugino, Kanzaki, Karma, Nagisa, Okuda and Kayano were talking about shipping. 

" I say Bitch Sensei will succeed and get her man" Sugino was saying. Karma made a few comments about Kayano and Nagisa. Kayano started yelling. Then Karma said, How bout' Itona and Terasaka? They seem close" " I don't know" Kanzaki said. " itona's kind of mean to Terasaka. I pitied him during the smack talk lesson." 

Was I really mean to Terasaka? I didn't think so. They talked a little more then broke apart as Terasaka and Muramatsu came in. " I swear" Terasaka was saying. " He's no good. Itona's cruel, but that's nothing. He's just weak" 

Ritsu turned off the memory video. " i didn't want you to see that" She said in a small voice. " Are you mad at Terasaka?" " No I'm not mad" I said as I left the room. That was the truth. I wasn't mad. I was majorly pissed off.

I decided to confront Terasaka. I would show him that I wasn't weak. I decided to yell at him during the lunch break while everyone was outside. In the time leading up to it I was unusually jumpy. 

" Itona" I jerked backwards and fell out of my chair. " Jesus Itona! I'm not going to kill you! i just wanted to know if you needed food for lunch." It was Muramatsu. " What's the matter shrimp? See a whale?" It was Terasaka now too. 

" Whales eat krill asshole" I said Terasaka shrugged but I could tell that was news to him. " i need to talk to you" I said to Terasaka. He turned to Muramatsu. " Goodbye" he said. Muramatsu fucked him off and left. It was now or never.

"What did you want tiny?" He asked. " Why do you think I'm weak?" I said. " Wha..." " I watched Ritsu's memory footage. You called me weak" The asshole looked confused. 

" What are you... Ohhhh! that. I meant..." " I'm not a fucking kid you damn son of a bitch" I said. I couldn't stop the words. Terasaka's face now looked like a tomato. " WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL! I FUCKING SAVED YOUR LIFE AND ALL YOU DO IS HURT ME WITH YOUR STUPID COMMENTS. I SWEAR! I LIKED YOU BETTER WHEN YOU WERE WITH SHIRO!" 

That was it. Tears started spilling from my eyes. Terasaka's eyes widened. " Wait no Itona I didn't mean..." I was already walking out the door. 

" Save it stupid asshole. Save it for someone who wants to hear"

With that I ran from the room. Tears coming down in a flood


	3. How I felt stupider than I was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka feels like an ass and tries to make up. Kayano gets involved. And also... ELECTRIC FENCES!!!! Enjoy. ;)
> 
> Also, really sorry for the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're not going to fight anymore!

I. Am. An. Asshole.

I fucking made him cry. Itona cry. I didn't think that was possible. 

I'm not saying that he's weak, I'm just saying I'm worried about him. I've been paying more attention to him since the muscle suit. He just seems more emotional lately. I don't know why. I'm not a fucking therapist. 

As for that conversation, I wasn't saying he was weak. I was saying that I was worried about him. He can be as cruel as he wants but the world is one fucked up place. Ok, maybe I did mean that he was weak. Just on a bigger scale. 

I was hoping that this would have all blown over with him by the time I got to school but, he wasn't there. I wasn't that concerned because Itona usually is a few minutes late. I just wanted this to stay quiet. That didn't happen though. 

"I'M SO SORRY TERASAKA!" Screamed my pocket. 

"GAAAAAH!" I yelled but then felt guilty. The last person to scare me like that was Itona. 

I realized my pocket wasn't yelling at me. It was Ritsu on my phone. 

"Dammit Ritsu! Don't scare me like that."

"Sorry" she whispered, bowing her head as pixilated tears fell down her cheeks.

"Woah woah woah. Why are you crying?" She burst into tears now. 

"ITS ALL MY FAULT! I TRIED NOT TO SHOW ITONA THAT! ITS MY FAULT YOUR FIGHTING!"

" It's ok. Stop crying. STOP CRYING DAMMIT!" I'm not good at soothing people.

She stopped crying at my yelling. Then she said, " You're worried about him too aren't you?"

" Huh wha... Yeah I am. He's been so emotional lately." 

Ritsu nodded. " A few days ago, while he was giving me my weakly tune up, he just started crying hysterically one minute, but was fine the next."

I was worried. I talked to Ritsu for ten more minutes. That's right, I poured out feelings to my phone. Normal life. Then I made a drastic choice. Two of them actually. Put something actually poisonous in Muramatsu's cooking, and find a way to help Itona.

I needed someone who knew the tentacles. I could think of three people. Shiro, hell no. The octopus, maybe, and Kayano.

I went with Kayano. 

She was talking to Nagisa and, just great, Karma. 

" hey Forever flat..." Shit. I gotta stop using the nicknames my gang uses for people.

" I mean, Kayano, I need help." She glared at me. Shit. I decided to use the five magic words

" Have your boobs gotten bigger?" " Well played." Nagisa mumbled. 

" What do you want Terasaka?" She was trying to sound suave, but she was blushing and her eyes were shining. 

" Can we..." I gestured to a different part of the classroom where we could have some space.

" Ooh Nagisa, He's stealing your woman!" Karma spoke up. " Karma shut it!" Nagisa cried.

When we got to the spot I picked, the first thing Kayano said was, " I'm not into you Terasaka" Ouch. That kind of hurt. 

" IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT!" I yelled. " It's about Itona." 

Kayano squealed and it hurt my ears. " OHMYGOD! You and Itona would make such an adorable couple!" She squealed again then stopped when she saw my face. 

" GOD! DOES THIS ENTIRE SCHOOL SHIP US?!" Kayano shrugged.

" Well, what did you want? Love advice?" 

" hell no. Can I ask you something about the tentacles if you don't mind?" She nodded. " Itona's been really emotional lately, and I may or may not have made him pissed enough at me for him to start crying. "

Kayano nodded. " Mood swings are normal after tentacle withdrawal. I read the log notes on the tentacles after I discovered the tentacle seed. Is that it?" 

Normally it would be but I had one more question. " Do you think he hates me?" 

Kayano smiled. " Terasaka, there's no way he hates you. Choose your words right in an apology, and he'll be normal to you again" 

" But, It's it's impossible for Terasaka to pick smart words" Karma said, appearing behind me. 

" Karma! I said not to do that!" Nagisa wailed.

I chased him, but the bastard outran me. I almost had him when yellow tentacles grabbed me and carried me inside for first period. To my surprise, Itona wasn't there. He didn't appear during second or third period either. I was starting to get worried and could tell the octopus was too. At lunch, he called me over. 

" Terasaka, I want you to find Itona. I'm a little worried that he hasn't shown up by now. Take Ritsu with you. She'll be able to track his cell phone."

I nodded. " Let's go Ritsu!" I called.

" Ready to go!" Ritsu chirped from my pocket, scaring the shit out of me again. A walking dictionary but she doesn't know what privacy is. 

I walked away from our building and towards the main campus. While I was walking past some of the students, I almost tripped and Ritsu called, " Watch out!" Some of the A class people turned around but didn't say anything. I managed to get out of there without any other problems.

" Ok Ritsu, can you find his signal?" I asked. She nodded and saluted. " Yup, head ten meters east!" 

"Huh?" 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. " go that way until I tell you otherwise. 

We walked to downtown Tokyo. and soon, we were heading towards a forrest at the end of one part. Why he would go in there I had no fucking clue

" you sure he's in there?" I asked. Ritsu nodded. 

"Well, in we go" 

I sounded a lot braver than I felt. Something about dark forrests are always unnerving.

We walked around aimlessly for awhile until Ritsu made a slightly startling discovery. 

"Terasaka, there's a path." 

It wasn't an official path, it was more like a trail that someone had used a lot. There were also fresh-ish footprints so guessed we were tracking Itona or a very lost third grader. I'm sorry but the guy's freaking tiny. 

We followed the rough path until we came to a barb wire fence. With it we're keep out, neuclear substances. Lovely. There was a gap under the fence that someone Itona's size could easily get under. Me, not so much. 

"Ritsu stay here" I said, sliding my phone under the gap. 

"Where would I go?" She asked. 

"Whatever"

I began searching for a way over or around the fence. I could try jumping it. 

I got a running start. I was almost to the fence when I heard Ritsu call my name, but I didn't care. I jumped using some of the parkour tricks Mr. Karasuma showed us. I put my hand on the top of the fence to launch myself over but got a shock. Literally. 

" AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" 

It appeared that the fence was mildly electric. I walked over to Ritsu, my clothes smoking. 

" there was a gate that was unlocked five feet away from you" Ritsu admitted meekly. 

" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?"

I took a few deep breathes. It didn't matter that I was almost lit on fire. Only Itona mattered

We continued on the path that had turned into a dirt road. There were even tire tracks. We kept walking and discovered the mother load of awesomeness. 

The path lead to an abandoned laboratory. And a swanky one at that. It had defiantly seen better days though. It was sort of charred like it had once been on fire. Also the walls were all busted and the windows all broken. It was quite small compared to government labs, but some kind of big expirement had been created\gone wrong

"Cool huh." Said a voice by my side. 

"HOLY SHIT!" It was Itona and he scared the crap out me again. " WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU!?" 

"Here" he said gesturing towards the lab. 

I nodded and turned towards the lab. "Wow. What kind of fucked up thing did this?" I said, trying to break the ice. 

" I did" he answered. 

"What woah... I didn't mean..." 

"It's ok. I was a fucked up thing when I did this"

" IM SO SORRY!" I screamed. 

" no, I'm sorry. Things have been, weird lately. I shouldn't of yelled at you. It's my fault."

He turned back towards the lab. " this is where I was held shortly after the tentacle implant. I was unstable so I, sort of killed the place." 

" no kidding" I said. Itona slapped me. 

"Hey can we talk back at the school? This place creeps me out." I said. He nodded and the two of us got the hell out of there.

When we got back to school we almost got our spines crushed by the octopus who gave us a freaking bear hug. 

" ITONA! IM SO HAPPY YOUR ALIVE! YOU TOO RITSU!"

"Ahem" I cleared my throat indignantly. 

"And Terasaka. " koro sensei finished. 

Itona and I had to wait until the end of the day to talk. When we did, everyone else had gone home so we had the classroom to ourselves. 

I explained to him about the conversation about weakness and what I learned from Kayano and a short lecture about electric fences

" I guess I really just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for the fight and that I want you to know that I'm there for you. " 

Instead of rolling his eyes at me or making a smart remark, he smiled. That was nice. I hardly ever see him smile.

" so, are we good?" I asked. He nodded. 

"Come here" I said and started hugging him. It felt nice. He didn't try to get away like he usually does when someone touches him. 

We stood there hugging for like, five minutes before we broke apart. 

" I'll try to lighten up on the sarcastic comments " Itona said shrugging. 

" woah who the hell are you. Itona Horibe would never say that" 

"Shut up stupid Terasaka" 

"Well that didn't last very long" I commented. 

"Sorry. Are we friends again?" 

"I've never been more sure of anything. "

Itona was looking at my grinning

" don't do it. Don't say that sarcastic comment even though you really want to. Resist the urge" I said

He rolled his eyes. " I'm gonna head out. See ya" 

As he left I was very sure of another thing. I didn't quite want to be in the friend zone. 

When I left I didn't notice a certain yellow octopus who was spying on our conversation. 

Koro Sensei's P.O.V

Nurufufufu. There was one thing I've always wanted to do before I'm assassinated. WRITE A ROMANCE NOVEL!

Itona and Terasaka seem to be the perfect characters. All I need to do to jump start their relationship is give it a little push. 

Nurufufufufu. This is going to be fun.


	4. How I went swimming but didn't actually swim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assassination classroom pool party! Also, The call of the trees!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka attempts a high dive

Well, this was stupid. The octopus promised us a reward if we studied hard. If I had a choice I would have wanted him to let us assassinate him, but I think he knew where that was going and confined the reward to something safe. 

Everyone wanted to go to the pool for the day. That sucked for me because of two things. One, I really don't like water, and two, I have no idea how to swim. I decided to spend my day in a tree, working on my tank. I really like trees. I have no idea why. 

I had to run back to the school building to grab my tank and was met by one of the weirdest sights in the world. Terasaka in a XL or maybe even XXL bikini chasing Karma. 

" I put it on you demonic bastard! Now gimme!

Karma laughed. "Oh Terasaka. You're as stupid as you look. I'm not giving you your clothes back"

It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened. Karma must have walked in on Terasaka, Muramatsu, and Yoshida playing truth or dare and dared Terasaka to wear a bikini. While the asshole wasn't looking, Karma must have stolen his clothes and not revealed that he had them until after the game when Terasaka was stranded in the bikini. 

I did the logical thing and took a picture of him with my phone before revealing myself. 

"You look amazing Terasaka. Electric purple is your color."

"AAAAGH! Itona! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Itona, catch!" Karma called, tossing me a bundle of cloth. It turned out to be Terasaka's clothes. 

" I didn't know they made boxers this big. " I couldn't stop myself from saying it. Terasaka's face resembled a radish. 

" SHUT IT ITONA! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT THOSE!"

That was one question I couldn't logically answer. 

Terasaka finally sidestepped Karma and turned to me. " come on Itona. Give me my clothes." He said it like I was some unpredictable animal. 

"I have a better idea. " Karma said. " put the clothes in a nice high tree" 

" I Ike trees" I agreed. 

" Itona, don't do it" Terasaka said. " don't answer the call of the trees. " 

This was fun. 

" I'll leave you to it" Karma said walking out the door. 

Terasaka turned back to me. " give it here or say goodbye to... Um... THIS!" 

Shit. He had my remote control to my viehicals. 

" HAHAHA! WOAH!" He yelped as a small helicopter almost took out his head. 

I took advantage of his confusion and tackled him. I successfully got my remote back after pinching him. 

" well that was mean. " he said, rubbing his arm.

"Here" I said holding out his clothes. "I got bored." 

He sighed and took them. " you got me out of the muscle suit and gave me my clothes. I guess I owe you a favor at some point today. " 

"Ok" 

I didn't feel like staying so I walked to the pool, picked a very high tree, and prepared to stay there. I though it would be nice to get some quiet. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. 

Everyone was pointing at something so I looked up. The octopus had added a high dive. Everyone was wondering who would be the first to try it. It was easy to guess who would. 

"Fine. If you guys are all wusses, I'll go first" 

The stairs up we're right next to my tree so I could watch Terasaka climb. He actually looked nervous. 

" your actually going to do this?"

He looked at me and smiled. " it's cool. I'm not going alone. 

I looked for someone coming up the stairs after him but saw no one. Before I could turn around to ask him who, he picked me up bridal style and started carrying me up the rest of the stairs. 

"What the hell are you doing?!" 

He didn't answer until we got to the top of the stairs. 

"Let.. Me... Go!" I managed to turn myself upside down in his grasp. I had to pinch him again to get him to let go. 

"OW! You are so mean!" 

" I'm leaving" I said but Terasaka picked me up again and started carrying me to the end of the board. When he set me down at the end, i knew what he was doing. 

"Oh HELL NO!" I said, trying to get back to the stairs. He blocked my way. I pinched him seventeen more times but he wouldn't move. 

" just jump. It's only water. " 

"Only WATER!?" 

"Jeez what are you? A cat?"

He tried to shove me off but I latched on to him, my arms around his waist, my legs wrapped around his. The only way he could get me down now was if he... OH SHIT! 

" Here we go! " he yelled. 

It took him about three tries to actually get off the board because I still had his legs. That didn't stop him though and soon we were free falling towards water. 

All I remembered about the fall was that I was screaming my head off and Terasaka was laughing at me. 

Just before we hit the water I had a crazy idea. I kicked off Terasaka, landed in the shallow end, jumped out of the water and climbed up the tree and dug my nails into it. 

"Wow. I think you are part cat" a soaking wet Terasaka said as he got out of the pool

" I said I owed you a favor. So I'll... MAKE YOU SWIM!" 

" THATS NOT A FAVOR!" I yelled as he threw me into the pool. It was cold. And wet. 

I dove for the side, got out of the water and stayed on the shore shivering. 

"NO YOU DONT!" Terasaka said, appearing out of nowhere, grabbing me by the legs and dunking me. 

"AAAAH! I yelled as I came back up. I attempted to get to the side again but Terasaka pulled me deeper. 

Just when I though he was going to swim to the other side of the pool, he dunked me again. I wasn't ready at all so I came up choking 

" what the *cough* hell are you * cough, cough* are you doing?"

"Swimming" he answered. I tried to slap him but fell under the water I latched onto him to avoid going under again. 

" if you hate this so much why don't you just swim away?" 

" I CANT SWIM DAMMIT!" 

After a lot more yelling and pinching Terasaka brought me back to the shore. Before he swam back out he said, " you said you weren't weak but your scared of water?"

Well that stung. I sat watching Terasaka for a few minutes, thinking about that comment. He was right. I was totally afraid of the water. 

Woah hold on. I was not letting Terasaka be right. I was going to try , key word try, to swim. 

I went down to the one foot area where no one was and tried dipping my foot in. The result was cold wet and weird feeling. I jumped back and glared at the water. 

" no that's just sad" A voice said. Terasaka was off to the side watching me. 

" go away stupid Terasaka. " I said. 

" hey, you said you weren't going to call me that anymore" 

" old habits die hard. " 

" look I'll help you if you want" 

I could tell he felt bad. 

" you went off the high dive and your scared of one foot water?"

" I went off it against my will"

" whatever. Your not going to get anywhere with one foot water. Come with me" 

We went put into the five foot water. I tried to escape out of instinct but Terasaka held on to me. 

" sorry" he announced

Then he dunked me. 

I was able to stay under longer than before and it didn't feel as weird that time. But I still hated it. 

" it looks like the cat instincts are leaving" Terasaka said when we came up for air

"You wish" I said. " you want me to stay in the pool and you owe me a favor. I have a compromise" 

So Terasaka became my aquatic horse. 

It basically involved me riding on his shoulders in the pool and only getting mildly wet. Also I got to command Terasaka. 

"Left" I said kicking him

" I am going left" 

" go more left" I said kicking him again. 

It stayed like that all day. 

When we were drying off to go home, Terasaka came over to me. 

" you know, this was fun" he said

" no it wasn't " I said 

" come on, it wasn't so bad" 

" I'm still mad at you. This is going online" 

I showed him the picture of him in the bikini. 

" then so is this" 

Terasaka held up a Waterproof camera with a video of me freaking out when we jumped off the diving board.

Terasaka laughed when he saw my face. 

" see ya tomorrow!" He said walking away, still laughing. 

Damn. I'm going to have to try harder to blackmail him. 

But he was right. I did have fun.


	5. How I was showcased in a maid cafe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Terasaka pissed her off too many times ( it was really only once), Nakamura decided to play the revenge game. It didn't matter if all of the boys had to go down with the ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I credit my friend who I shall call Ceann Aisteach for the idea. I wanted to do something with maid costumes and Ceann Aisteach came up with the cafe so thanks! ;)

Why. WHY ME DAMMIT!

Yet again I have found myself in another amazingly humiliating situation but this time, I dragged every boy in my class down the crazy train with me. 

Earlier this morning I was looking for someone to annoy. Itona made it quote clear that the muscle suit story would find its way to the internet if I didn't leave him alone.

The rest of my gang went along the same lines as Itona. I yelled about mutiny for a while and went on with my search. Then I met the devil. I mean Karma. 

" word on the street is that your looking for some fun" he said. 

" yeah so?" I asked

" I have a deal for you. Help me prank Nakamura Rio and you won't be bored and I'll help you find a way to get back at your gang for the 'mutiny'"

" how did you know about that?" I asked. 

" Terasaka, I'm almost certain all of Japan heard you yelling. Maybe even parts of china." 

" ok, ok, I got it. " 

The deamon's plan went like this: "The big ugly oaf, oh that's you Terasaka, distracts Nakamura and any other girls in the ladies room, while I put something special in Nakamura's makeup the second the ugly oaf sees me leave the restroom, we split" 

It seemed easy enough. 

The only problem was coming up with a suitable distraction. It seemed as though Karma had been planning this for a while because he already had a distraction planned out. I was supposed to impersonate Mr. Karasuma. 

And before you ask, this was not the humiliating situation I mentioned earlier. 

Karma had a Mr. Karasuma costume, and I had no idea where that came from, but I put on the tight black suit and spikey black wig with out a whole lot of complaining.

I started parading around like Mr.Karasuma, and Karma knocked on the door of the girls bathroom and called, 

" hey come look at this, Terasaka's impersonating Mr. Karasuma!"

I started walking like I was in the army and yelling out things that I've heard him say before. I saw Karma slip into the restroom with a tube of something. Hopefully this would be over soon. 

I started loosing the girl's interest before Karma was back. This called for drastic action. 

" ASSASSINATION IS COOL, BUT BITCH SENSEI'S BOOBS ARE THE BEST" 

The girls all stayed, but I gained more attention. Most of the boys in the class started watching as I tried to describe boobs. 

" they're squishy and big, and... Bouncey?" 

I saw Itona videoing this. Then I felt a tap on the head. I was really getting into this now and said, 

" how dare you tap the assassination master, Karasuma Tadaomi on the head... "

It was the real Mr. Karasuma 

Karma managed to escape as Mr. Karasuma chewed me out about respect. After I escaped with my life I found Karma sitting on a rock watching Nakamura. 

" it's going to happen any minute" 

I was about to ask what but didn't need to. 

Nakamura screamed as her face broke out in red splotches. 

" Karma laughed. " that's one hell of an allergic reaction. Even better than I hoped" 

It didn't take Nakamura long to start interrogating guys. Eventually she made her way over to us. 

" is that you Nakamura, or a lobster?" 

I couldn't help saying it. 

" I know it was you Terasaka" she growled 

Karma jumped up

" no way! That idiot could have never come up with such a complicated plan. I put in the time to look at your medical record, buy the stuff and you think he did it!?"

Karma realized what he was saying too late

" punishment time" Nakamura said smiling evily for a lobster person. 

Now this was the humiliation.

Nakamura held up two maid costumes. 

" hope your ready to wear these for the rest of the day. Don't give me that look Terasaka. Do you know how long it took to find an XL maid costume." She said, scratching her face. 

Well that made things better. NOT!

I had my share of embarrassing clothing so I let Karma take one for the team. 

In other words I ran for the hills. 

The last thing I saw was Karma try to follow but get pounced on by Nakamura. 

I hid in the PE shed until I thought it was safe. Boy was I wrong. When I emerged it was clear that the apocolypse had arrived. Most of the boys in our class were trapped on the PE field in maid costumes surrounded by girls.

When some of the boys spotted me they started... Cheering? 

" Run Terasaka! Okajima yelled. " let the manhood live on!" 

It appeared that during Nakamura's search for me, she had evolved the punishment into a maid cafe and was rounding up all of the boys. Since I was free, there was still hope. My life became a survival movie just like that. 

I appreciated the cheering but it alerted the girls to my presence. 

Yada, I think that's her name, started gaining on me really quickly. She was almost on top of me when, she fell on her face. Karma tripped her!

" go to the woods" he said. " the last guys are there"

I saluted and ran some more. As I sprinted past I saw that Ritsu had set up a little screen that showed all of the free boys on wanted posters. There were only about eight of us left. Not good.

I ran for another five minutes, it was a miracle how I was still standing. I finally saw one of the other guys waving to me from a little grotto in the woods. 

" you ok Terasaka?" Maehara said. 

I nodded as I looked around the room. 

" Woah, hold on. I thought there were more of us"

Maehara shrugged. "Its just us here. No one knows where Nagisa and Itona are. "

" I'll find them" I said. " it's better than sitting around here. "

" But it's not safe out there. " Maehara protested

" It's not safe here" I countered. " I'm pretty sure the girls know we're in the woods. "

"Then we'll cover for you" Maehara said. 

We high fived as I ran back outside. 

" NAGISA! ITONA!" I called, but then wondered if the girls could hear me. " Nagisa, Itona" I whispered. 

Just as I was about to go search another section of the woods I felt like someone was watching me. I turned around just in time to see a knife flying straight at my face. 

" AAAAAH!" I yelled, jumping back. 

" AAAAAAH" I yelled again as something full of paint hit me. 

I fell over and got hit three more times by paint. 

" Oh sorry Terasaka." Said a female voice. I freaked out before I realized that it was just Nagisa. .

" Jeez Nagisa! Go through puberty already, HEY!"

Another paint filled something hit me on the side of the face. 

" Itona it's ok. It's only Terasaka. " Nagisa said. 

I turned around to see Itona in a tree with some of the paint bombs Mr. Karasuma got us. 

" Oh I know it's him " he said as he threw another paint bomb. It hit me square in the face!

" HEY! WHEN I GET UP THERE..." I was cut off as Nagisa shushed me. 

"Save the fighting for later. I think their coming. " 

A few seconds later Nagisa proved to be right. About six girls were running towards us. 

" these are the last ones!" I heard Ritsu call. 

So they got the ones in the woods. I bowed my head for our fallen brothers than ran like my hair was on fire. 

I heard a yell than turned around to see Nagisa be captured. It was only me and Itona now. I figured that if I kept running like a mad man, I could make it out alive. 

I felt something jump on my back. After a minor panic attack I realized it was just Itona. 

" come on Terasaka. Go faster. I'm almost out of ammo. " he had been launching those paint bombs at the girls and only had three left. 

We started to graudually lose them, but before we knew it we were at a dead end. 

We struggled hard, but soon we were stuck in maid costumes like the rest of the guys. 

It seemed the girls had advertised for the maid cafe, because people I didn't know we're there. A class showed up too. All the teachers did during this was take pictures. Well, that was mostly Koro Sensei. The other two didn't do much. 

I was lucky enough to get a two minute break from serving, they actually made Muramatsu cook and the rest of us serve food. I asked if we were getting paid. Actually, I think that's why they gave me a break. So I would forget about it. 

As I was fixing my lacy socks I saw something on the floor. It was a little book. I picked it up but was instantly called back out for more torture. I tucked it in my bag for later. 

Koro Sensei's P.O.V

Nurufufufu. The next step in operation romance was a go! But to complete this I would have to do one of the hardest things I've ever done. Convinced Terasaka to read a book.


	6. How I became friends with a deamon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MAID COSTUMES CONTINUE! Also I wanted to write something with Itona and Karma. Terasaka gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This fanfic went on longer than I thought

It's a very good thing I'm good at staying silent.

When I was forced to play waitress it was really easy to pretend that I didn't talk. But for some reason that made me one of the more popular maids along with Terasaka and Karma. 

There were 98% girls at the cafe squealing about how adorable this was. This was the definition of humiliating. So this is how it feels to be Terasaka.

Speaking of him, I had never seen an XL maid costume until now. I didn't know they existed. 

 

Just watching Terasaka was hilarious. I didn't know there was any possible way for him to be good at something but, you supposedly learn something new every day.

When I saw him in the break room, trying to adjust his headband perfectly, I lost it.

 

I started laughing and almost fell over.

 

" What are you laughing at tiny? It's not that funny. HEY! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

 

Seeing how self conscious he was just made me laugh harder and fall over this time.

 

" All right get up" he said, nudging me with his foot.

 

" It's really not that funny. The reason behind this is that Nakamura has pepper spray and douses all the guys who don't act or look the part. Why are you still laughing? Are you on crack or something?"

 

I managed to get a hold of myself and answer. 

 

" Terasaka, I haven't slept in three days. Everything is five times funnier than it should be. having said that you possibly just made my month that much better"

" Go bug someone else" 

" Better not take too much longer!" I called back

" I know fixing your all important headband is a very tough job with your intelligence so I understand if your not back out until next century!"

"SARCASM!" He yelled like I had just committed a crime. " And anyway, It's called a headdress" he said, fixing his. " And your the idiot for not knowing that."

" Yes. And a normal person knows that off the top of their head"

" Why haven't you been sleeping?" 

I wasn't ready for a subject change

" What?"

" You said you hadn't slept in three days. Why?"

Stupid Terasaka. He seemed to sound concerned.

" Cause' sleeping's for idiots" I said, walking away.

" NOT SLEEPING'S FOR IDIOTS!" He yelled back.

I didn't turn back

" THAT'S RIGHT ITONA! JUST SASHAY AWAY! YOUR SO TOTALLY A GUY!" He called sarcastically

" SARCASM! HAVE FUN FIXING YOUR HEADDRESS!" I retorted.

" I WILL!" The idiot answered, letting the weirdness of the conversation really sink in.

The real reason I haven't been sleeping was because of the headaches. Everyone says their just 'symptoms' but I swear, these symptoms are going to kill me. My head feels like it's splitting apart and I keep seeing Shiro with a needle poised above my head... But the last thing I need is Terasaka getting involved.

I went back out into the maid-pocolypse and served a few more tables, out of fear of Nakamura who swept around the cafe like a living shadow. 

I found Karma wiping his eyes with a tissue on the outskirts of the prison, I mean cafe

" So what exactly did you do to get her so pissed?" I asked, then got the glorious details of the makeup, lobsters, and now maid costumes" 

" That's it in a nutshell" he said, grabbing another tissue

" Are you ok?" I asked. 

He clearly wasn't as he revealed watery red rimmed eyes and arms that had totally broken out in hives.

" Hey Nakamura!" he yelled. " I think I'm allergic to your stupid maid costume!"

" That's the point!" She called back with an evil smile on her face. " You're not the only one who went through the medical records!"

" Great" Karma mumbled, rubbing at his arms.

It was interesting to see Karma at some level of weakness.

" What are you waiting for?" he asked.

" What?"

" Start laying on the sarcastic comments"

I shook my head. " I already had a conversation with Terasaka. I'm good on sarcasm today unless I see him again"

A few seconds later Nagisa came running over.

" Karma! Are you ok!?" 

It was cute seeing Nagisa get all worried about Karma. He was using the same tone of voice Terasaka used earlier. I refused to dwell on that

" When Terasaka, the rest of the gang and I were searching Koro Sensei's office for stuff, we found a medicine cabinet. Something in there could probably help you."I said

Nagisa nodded making the decision for Karma.

" Yeah. I'll cover for you" he said

" What!" Karma said

They then had a little private conversation

" Nagisa, I can make my own choices thanks"

" But I'm worried about you."

" That doesn't mean..."

" Just go and get better ok?" 

I had to pretend to not listen and stare at Terasaka. He was trying to stealthily eat a rice ball, but with him, you can just throw stealth out the window.

 

Nagisa did cover for us as we went in search of the cabinet. I had questions about his and Karma's relationship but didn't ask.

 

We managed to get put of the cafe and into the hall leading down to the teacher's offices

 

" So what 'stuff' were you and Terasaka looking for? You can tell me" Karma said

I shook my head " We didn't know what we would find so we called it, 'the Afternoon of Stuff' and we did find some questionable items."

 

We made it to the office and Koro Sensei wasn't there. I made it to the cabinet by jumping over the desk and landing on the counter below the cabinet. 

" You still have that accuracy from when you had the tentacles." Karma observed. " How much do you use that in every day life?" 

I shrugged as I looked through the cabinet. " Not much. I really just use it to get away from Terasaka when he's pissed"

" Great!" Karma said. " I've been working on an assassination plan. All i need is someone fast. Are you in?"

I had nothing better to do so I nodded. 

" Catch" I said, tossing him some ointment I found in the cabinet. " That should help. I don't believe it will kill you"

" Thanks" He said gratefully

As we walked back to the cafe we passed Terasaka who turned around and came running up to us

 

" So you really went somewhere with him?" He asked. His face paled when I nodded.

" Alone?" He continued. I nodded again and his jaw dropped. He started muttering things I couldn't hear under his breath as he ran off

" Goodbye! I called. " Nice talk!"

Karma shook his head. " You two really are adorable together"

" Are you and Nagisa, like, a thing?" I asked before i forgot.

Karma shook his head, " No, but the way Nagisa acts sometimes I even think we are" He said.

" You and Terasaka" He said, walking away

" You'd make a really great couple" 

" Would not!" I called.

" WOULD NOT!" I repeated. 

But would we?


	7. How I got so jealous I thought I was gonna die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka gets even more jealous than he already is and realizes feelings. He becomes a master of denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Koro Sensei sings a reading song

I was watching them. I was hiding behind a rock watching Karma and Itona. Why I wanted to spy on them in the first place was a complete mystery. I kept on getting my heart rate up about stupid things like that they were sitting too close to each other, but nothing was really that bad yet. Just as I was getting ready to go somewhere else, Itona got this weird, glassy eyed expression and Karma literally ran his fingers through Itona's hair. I could hardly breathe. 

That was three hours ago. Now I was sitting in class trying not to yell. I really don't know why this was such a big deal. Every time I thought about I would start breathing faster and feeling like my chest was going to implode. I desperately needed something to take my mind off this. 

After desperately searching my brain for a topic my thoughts landed on that weird little book I found during the maid cafe. I still had it. Unfortunately, In order to investigate I would have to visit my old nemesis, reading. 

After class I went outside and tried to read the book. My first two minutes of 'reading' involved rapidly opening and closing the book. 

" What are you doing?" 

" GAAAAH!" I yelled. If this kept up I was going to have a heart attack and die before the octopus. 

Itona was looking down at me from a tree.

" What are you? Part Slender-man?" 

" Sure. Seriously, what are you doing?"

" I'm reading" I said proudly. 

Itona stared at me like I had just grown a tail. He swung himself out of the landing beside me. 

" You've been acting weird lately" He accused. 

" I don't know what you're talking about" I said in an accidental falsetto as I began walking back towards the school. 

" Don't play dumb with me. Actually, are you even playing?"

" Seriously. Whatever happened to the no more sarcasm" I growled.

I was speed walking down the hall now. 

" Are you trying to avoid me?" He asked. 

" That's ridiculous" I said darkly. 

" If you want me to leave you alone you can just ask. There's no need to hurt your tiny brain with attempted reading."

" No I don't want you to leave me alone, I want you closer to me than ever, so I can personally keep you away from that red headed thief and you will be mine" 

Thankfully I only said that in my head. 

What I said instead was " I'm not acting weird at all" 

" Ok" Itona said, grabbing a book off a shelf. He randomly flipped it open and closed. 

" What are you doing?" I asked. 

" I'm reading. Surely a master of the non weird like yourself would know that" 

" Ha ha" I said glaring at him.

" Look I'll leave you alone. I have plans anyway" He said.

" Wait, what?" I said, warning sirens going off in my brain. 

" Yeah. I'm hanging out with Karma this afternoon"

" With Karma? All afternoon? Alone?" 

" See? this is what I mean. You're acting all stalker-y." he said walking away.

I wanted to stop him, or better yet, tie him to a rock.

I was about to leave the classroom as well when Koro Sensei jumped out of nowhere.

" You know, It's always good to read a book while your heart is conflicted"

" Say what?" 

This day was getting more on the confusing side now.

" Come on Terasaka! I'm sure there's some book around that you can read. Nurufufufufu!" 

My brain was telling me to run very far away. Before I could do so, the octopus broke into song

" Terasaka! Read that book! Books are magic you know! I know you can do it! Please please read a book"

I have never longed for ear plugs before now. 

" And now for the second verse" Koro Sensei announced. 

" I'll read a book I'll read it!" I said running away.

I found a rock, sat down and opened the cover to the book I found.

It was very official. It looked like something you would see in a scientific lab. It turned out to be some sort of case log. 

The first page said stuff like, experiment some random number, chemical something. But the thing that caught my attention the most was at the bottom.

Test subject: Horibe Itona. 

I slammed it shut. I am no stranger to getting into other people's personal business, but for some reason I really don't want to invade Itona's privacy. I was starting to make sense of why I was feeling so strange.

I jumped up and started running looking for a specific person.

" KAYANO!" I called, tripping over a table and getting my foot stuck in a chair. 

" My God Terasaka. The building's not on fire" 

" I'll *pant, pant* Take * pant*.."

" Whoa slow down" 

" I'll take that love advice"


	8. How I survived day one of love boot camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another brilliant idea from Ceann asiteach. Two Terasaka chapters in a row

I asked for love advice. I ended up getting boot camp. Over half the class got involved in 'training me'. 

I had been duct taped to a chair and that should have been an omen.

Kayano was pacing the room like a drill sergeant. 

" Ok Terasaka. You need to be serious now. You need to not ruin your chance at true love. ALRIGHT POP QUIZ! WHAT WAS THE NAME OF CINDERELLA'S PRINCE?"

" Are you serious?" I asked.

" WRONG! THE PRINCE'S NAME WAS NOT ARE YOU SERIOUS. Honestly am I working with a toddler?

" Yes!" Karma called from the back of the room. 

Karma should be grateful for duck tape because that was the only thing keeping me from hurting him. 

" OW!" I turned around as Kayano hit me over the head with a big stick.

" PUNISHMENT! She announced. 

" That's not fair!" I said. " And where did you get a stick?" 

" SHUT UP AND LISTEN!" Kayano screamed. This was a bad idea.

" Ok here are the rules for love boot camp. You can't be sarcastic. You have to try your hardest and if you still fail you have to try harder"

This went on a little longer with rules like " No sleeping" and " No possums" Ok, maybe in my brain dead state I just imagined the possums.

" And now to explain about punishment." Kayano said.

" I have the authority to hit Terasaka over the head with a stick should he not be following the rules or failing a subject"

Oh brother. I zoned out until i heard the words, paintball guns"

" What?" I asked nervously. 

" The rest of the people in this room will be judging you at all times and If they think you're failing they will shoot you with a paintball." 

I was going to be judged by Karma. Someone better dig me a grave right now. 

I was forced to answer more stupid questions. I seemed to have been there for more than an hour. I was ready to start singing when Kayano said, " Ok no more questions"

" This was fun, but someone needs to untape me from this chair" no one moved. Kayano started laughing.

" Oh we're not done! that was just a warm up! for your first lesson we'll focus on looking underneath your thuggish behavior. 

Sugino and Okuda were wheeling in a T.V. Kayano turned it on.

" I don't see how watching T.V is going to help" I said.

" OW!" Kayano hit me with the stick again

" No questioning me!"

I sat and stared at the T.V. I couldn't tell what I was supposed to be watching. But when I heard that theme music I knew there was no mercy.

" No, Not this!" I yelled. " What have I done to deserve this!"

" You don't like 'Bambi' Terasaka?" 

No I didn't. I remember avoiding it at all costs when it made me cry the first time i watched when I was eight. These people were getting lethal. 

Karma eventually taped my head to the chair because I kept trying to look away. It was so painful. Everyone else in the room was practically crying too. Even Karma didn't look as happy as he did before.

I cried my eyes out. There I admitted it.

" No more... No more" I said weakly.

" Class dismissed" Kayano said, crying too " Really should have left the room" I heard her mutter.

I walked outside trying to look like I hadn't been crying for the past hour. I really needed a hug. 

" Hey Terasaka? Did you know that deer have an even number if toes, and that they actually had toes.?"

Itona was behind me holding a book about you know whats.

" What happened in there? Over half the people came out crying." 

" DON'T MENTION DEER!" I yelled. I almost started crying again.

Itona put two and two together.

" No. You didn't"

" I did"

" Why would you give yourself up to that pain you idiot. Why?" 

I didn't want to keep talking so I followed my instinct. 

" I need a hug!" I yelled, hugging Itona. 

" What are you doing! Let go of me!"

" No! you are going to let me hug you like a man! While I hold back tears like a man. 

" Stupid idiot" Itona said, going limp in my arms. 

I hugged him in peace for two minutes.

" Ok let me go" 

" NO!" I said. This was getting fun now. But Itona decided to be cruel.

" DEER ARE ALL OVER THE WORLD EXCEPT AUSTRALIA AND ANTARCTICA! MALE DEER ARE CALLED BUCKS, STAGS, OR HARTS! LET GO OF ME!"

" HOW COULD YOU DO THAT ITONA? HOW COULD YOU AMBUSH ME WITH DEER FACTS?"

" DEER HAVE EYES ON THE SIDE OF THEIR HEAD GIVING THEM 310 DEGREE VISION!"

" SHUT UP!"

Kayano was watching us from a distance, but I still heard her say, " I call that a sucess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favorite chapter in a while. And now anyone who reads this will be a minor expert on deer! :) ( all deer facts are real)


	9. How I was banned from going inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itona attempts to investigate the love boot camp. Also, aquatic creatures! ( And more deer cuz I'm enjoying that)

I had been exiled. I tried to go into the main school building but was met with shouts of " ITONA! OUT!" 

All I saw was Terasaka blindfolded. Maybe this had something to do with Terasaka's rising weirdness. He has been getting super touchy lately. And I don't mean touchy as in angry. I mean touchy as in he won't stop touching me. 

He came out crying about a movie and started hugging me. I let him for a bit, but then it started to feel like I was hugging a boa constrictor. I was forced to ambush him with deer facts, which I am quite proud of.

Now that I think about it, the deer book may have been a distraction. It seemed that I was not allowed in the building, the deer book might just have been to occupy my time. I'll let it go this time, because thanks to my new deer knowledge, torturing Terasaka gets to a whole new level. 

I'm ok with Terasaka being close to me, but I still have my limits. 

I attempted to go inside again and was almost hit with a stick. 

" STAY OUT ITONA!" Over half the people inside yelled.

" Jeez. Why don't you just put me in a doghouse" I said. 

Even though curiosity was killing me, I decided to sit under a tree and work on my tank. All was quiet until Okuda and Kanzaki ran up to me and started asking the stupidest things.

" Itona, what's your favorite color, movie, T.V show or book. What's your blood type? On a scale of one to ten how do you rate Terasaka, what's your favorite school subject, favorite food, and animal" 

" Want to know what I had for breakfast?"

" Please just answer us" Kanzaki said

" Fine. Color, sliver, movie, after yesterday I'm gonna say Bambi." 

Both girls gave me deadpan stares.

" What? anything that makes Terasaka sad makes me happy"

" That is so cruel Itona" Okuda said shaking her head. " Keep answering"

" Ok, T.V show, something with deer in it"

" Seriously?" Both said at the same time.

" Book, the hidden life of deer"

" Good lord..." 

" Blood type, Why do you want to know that?"

" ANSWER US! THIS IS IMPORTANT!" Normally quiet Okuda yelled. " And your blood type better not be 'deer'" 

" Fine. Its not. Blood type, AB, I'm just gonna say, whoever asked me to rate Terasaka is about to hear the new lowest number. I rate him, one half"

" HE SAVED YOUR LIFE!" Okuda screamed again. 

" Ok, he's a three" 

Okuda glared at me.

" Ok he's a six. Happy?"

Okuda nodded

"favorite school subject, does whenever Terasaka's not around count"

" NO!" The girls yelled at the same time. 

" Ok, subject, science, favorite food, paitan ramen, and favorite animal,"

I looked both girls straight in the eye, " A deer" 

Both of them face palmed. 

" Ok, that's all we need" They said, walking away.

Now I was about to die of curiosity. 

I found Hazama reading under a different tree. 

" Do you have that book with you, that one with a history of a bunch of classics in it?"

She nodded and retrieved the 800 page encyclopedia of literature classics. I don't know anyone else who would carry a book the size of a small boulder around with them, much less own it, But that's Hazama for you. That's also what bugs Terasaka the most about her. I think I'm going to give him a copy of this book for his birthday or Christmas or maybe just invent present day so I can give it to him tomorrow or something.

" I know a good bookstore where you can buy that for him, along with an encyclopedia of deer" It's like Hazama can read minds. I'm actually pretty sure she can because a few seconds later she said, " Stop doubting yourself, he's not going to hit you over the head with it" I didn't even say a word, I only thought about that.

Anyways, now that I had the book, I went on with the infiltration.

I threw the book at the window, but I underestimated the weight. ( it was fifty pounds heavier than I thought it'd be.)

My throw was a little off and the book ended up flying through an open window that I didn't notice before.

I heard a scream of " OW!" that sounded just like Terasaka's voice. 

I ran over to the window to see Terasaka with an added bonus of a book sized mark on his face. What are the odds? I needed to change my book answer. This encyclopedia was my new favorite. 

" You can tape me in a chair," Terasaka said, starting to rant. " You can make me watch movies, you can put me through boot camp, BUT YOU CAN'T THROW BOOKS AT ME!"

Kayano was standing at the front of the room. " Hmm, it seems that Terasaka is at war with his feelings. WE CAN SORT HIM OUT WITH LOVE! I believe that since he refuses to open his heart up to that special someone, that the flying book was an act of karma!"

" I didn't do anything for once" Karma said. 

" I didn't mean you. I meant as in what goes around comes around"

As they talked I looked around the classroom. On the board someone had written ' operation rolling riser' which was my nickname during code name training. Suspicious.

" Alright, alright. Time to resume training. Terasaka, subject seems to be the complete opposite of you, AND OPPOSITES ATTRACT! Thanks to two stunning information gatherers, we can start dissecting the target's personality." Kayano continued.

So this was some sort of boot camp, and Kayano was a counselor? Maybe this was anger management. Terasaka needs it.

I watched as Kayano wrote more things on the board. Silver, Bambi, Hidden life of deer, Hold on. Those sarcastic answers seemed familiar.

" Wait, BAMBI?!" Terasaka said. 

Kayano suddenly looked over to the window and saw me sitting there. 

" AAH! BAD ITONA! OUT!" She yelled and shoved me out the window. I was being reprimanded like an animal.

Karma and Okajima blocked the window with a shelf, and Hazama was already inside, so I didn't have access to more large books. 

I sat on a rock and thought about this. I was being studied, I guess. 

Hazama had taken my stuff inside too so I just sat around in different poses, and hung upside down from a tree until I couldn't see straight. 

After an hour I was so bored I lost the will to move. I was laying in the grass, staring at clouds. That one looked like Terasaka's stupid face, so did that one... It was definitely time to get Terasaka out of my head. 

That one looked like a deer. That one looked like a deer impaling Terasaka. I had to look really hard to see these things but it was worth it. 

I got bored with that and made myself get up and walk around. It was just my luck that it then started raining. There was no cover and I was soaked in a matter of seconds. To make matters worse, the rain was so cold that it felt like I was being hit with liquid ice. I had to endure another hour and a half of sitting in the freaking rain!"

It was raining so hard I couldn't see anything but blurs. I thought I saw Terasaka. Ok, I really needed to get him out of my head, but I could almost hear him shouting, "YOU STUPID IDIOT" 

The Terasa-blur was getting closer and it turned out that it was actually Terasaka. 

" WHY DIDN'T YOU TRY TO COME IN!" He yelled. " OR AT LEAST ASK FOR A JACKET!"

" Oh hello, you remember me?" I said angrily. 

" Cut the crap." He said, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet.

" My God, you're freezing."

" No really Sherlock. I'm also wet and pissed at you." 

" Just stop. Come on, we need to get you inside"

" Oh don't worry. I think I'm evolving into an aquatic creature."

" And we do things the hard way" Terasaka said as he picked me up.

" We've gone over this. Put me down" I said.

" Ok" said the idiot and he held me over a huge puddle like he was going to drop me.

" Don't put me down"

" I thought so" 

As we neared the entrance to the building, someone opened the door, bathing us in light. 

" Terasaka, I hear angels singing."

" Oh come on, you wern't outside that long" 

He carried me inside, back to civilization. 

" Ok, put me down now" I said, he put me down on the floor and tossed a blanket at me.

" Here. Warm yourself up" 

" Aquatic creature, remember?" 

" Why must everything be so difficult with you?" 

Terasaka tackled me, pinned me down and covered me with the blanket. 

" What does the aquatic creature have to say now?"

" You're freakishly heavy" 

" Jeez!" He said, ruffling my hair pulling both of us into a sitting position. 

I was still half frozen and exhausted. I was honestly too tired to sit up and I literally fell over onto Terasaka's lap. I thought for sure that he was going to start laughing and teasing me but he just pulled the blanket over more.

" You can stay there" He said. 

" What?" 

" Just stay there and warm up idiot" 

" Hey I call you that, not the other way around." I said. " But fine, If it makes you feel better than you actually are I'll stay here." 

" Itona I swear you're gonna make my brain cells die That didn't even make sense."

" Those cells died a long time ago. Rest in peace cells" I didn't know what I was saying anymore. 

" Your freaking delirious. Oh yeah, and what's this about things that make me sad make you happy?" 

" Shut up, I'm trying to sleep"

" Oh now you sleep. Can I call you the aquatic creature from now on?"

" No. Shut up"

" Goodnight Aquatic Creature" 

" Shut up!" I said again, trying to hit him, but only weakly slapping him.

" Hitting like a girl. Now I know you're tired.

" So let me sleep" 

" Fine" 

The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was Terasaka saying, " What? Oh no I meant hit like a girl for his standards. I'm sure you all hit hard too. No offence. Please don't hurt me!"

Stupid Terasaka. Such an idiot. That's my favorite trait about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all of those question answers are real, but I just used deer for the ones I didn't know. The hidden life of deer is a real book and it is really good if you like deer.


	10. How I graduated love boot camp

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deep conversations. Terasaka realizes more feelings. ( He's gonna be a fucking mess)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I got kudos on this! ( I'm surprised, it's really not that good) This is gonna be a long chapter.

He fell asleep on my lap. So adorable...

" TERASAKA! WAKE UP!"

A stick came crashing down on my head.

" OW! SORRY SIR!" It dawned on me what I had just said.

" I MEANT MA'M" 

" That's better" Kayano said nodding. 

I tried to stay focused on what Kayano was saying but my thoughts just kept wandering...

" TERASAKA! THERE'S A PIRANHA!" 

" AAAH!" I yelled, jumping up on to my chair. Then I realized there was no possible way there was a piranha in the classroom.

Karma was laughing at me. " Just making sure your alive"

" You little... OW! STOP WITH THE STICK!" 

" Stop attacking Karma. And he's right. WE HAVE PIRANHA'S!"

She revealed a tank full of piranhas.

" What the hell is this!" 

" We're going to play a little game called, WOULD YOU DO THIS OR NOT! If you choose yes, you must do it at the end of the game. If you choose no, you stick your hand in the tank of piranhas."

" WHERE DID THOSE EVEN COME FROM?"

" Koro Sensei got them for us. We told him it was for true love"

I was not getting out of this. 

" Ok! Let's play! My loyal judges, one of you ask a question!" Kayano said.

" Oooh, I have one!" Nakamura said. " What happened between you and Itona after we left?"

She meant when he fell asleep on me. Everyone gave us some space which was nice.

" Let's see, he was asleep" 

" MORE DETAIL!" Everyone yelled in unison.

" Fine. He woke up, started blushing, demanded to be let go of, pinched me when I refused, tried to get up, I grabbed his leg and tripped him, caught him, pulled him closer to me and he stayed there until the octopus appeared. Then he jumped up and got that, ' this is all Terasaka's fault' attitude."

" Awwwww" Everyone said in unison again.

" Shuddup" I growled.

" New question!" Kayano said.

" If you had the chance would you sleep with Itona?" Okajima asked.

" I see where this is going, this is about me and Itona" 

" it's love boot camp idiot" 

" Fine, yes AND I ALREADY HAVE-ISH" 

" Ok" Kayano said a little disappointed. 

" Would you impersonate Mr. Karasuma again?" Karma asked,

" No"

Kayano grabbed my hand and plunged it into the piranha tank. Luckily I'm stronger than her and I managed to yank it out of the bowl before I lost any fingers.

" You got lucky" Kayano said. " NEW QUESTION OR TASK!"

" What would you do if Itona stole all the food you had for one day" Sugino asked.

" That already happened" I said. 

" I'm not surprised" Hazama said from the back of the room.

More stupud questions were to follow, no tasks really, until things took a weird turn. 

" Would you kiss Itona?" That was Karma again.

I didn't want to lose any fingers " Yes?"

" Than do it. That's a task"

" NO! He's gonna kill me"

" I wonder if piranhas like fingers?"

" Ok fine" 

" It's easy" Kayano said, " Distract him with conversation"

I suck at conversation, but I value my fingers.

I was thrown outside before I could complain.

" Hey Itona!" I called, running up to him.

" Hold it right there" He said. " You have that shifty look on your face"

" What look?" I said, even though I felt my eye twitching.

" That look you get when you are trying to do something suspicious"

" I don't have a shifty look"

" And I'm taller than Karma"

I really suck at conversation.

" Hey, what's with this new deer obsession?" I asked. 

" Oh, you know, deer are wonderful majestic creatures. So free and wild, they are also the stars of many movies, Bambi, for example. "

" Mmhmm care to elaborate?" I said, gradually moving closer.

" Ok. In the wildfire scene for instance, the deer is shown..."

I tried not to listen because for one, bambi was still fresh in my mind, and two, I needed to concentrate. 

Our legs were almost touching, I had gotten so close. Now I needed to lean forward just a bit..."

My back cracked, reminding me how flexible I was ( Not) 

" What are you doing?" Itona asked in confusion.

I was leaning forward, my face pointed towards the earth.

" I'm, uh, stretching." 

" Ok..."

I was losing his interest. I had to move fast.

" Hey Itona?" 

" Yeah?" 

" Uh, sorry about this"

" About what?" he asked, looking up at me"

I shoved the back of his head towards my face and kissed him.

Over my shoulder I could see the people at love boot camp cheering from inside the building.

As for Itona his eyes were wide open his face scarlet. 

Finally, Itona shoves me as hard as he can to get away from me. 

" Wh.. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT"

" It was a game" I said meekly.

" Stop playing truth or dare, or just leave me of it!" He says.

Good, He thought it was truth or dare.

He shoves me again. " Never do that again. I'm making a rule that you have to stay three feet away from me at all times" He said, breathing heavily.

" Ok" I said, feeling exhilarated. " Bye!" I said, getting up and running back inside.

" Hey! come back!" He yells.

The minute I get inside I do a victory dance.

" I did it! Itona hates me but I did it!"

Several guys high fived me.

" Ok Terasaka. Next lesson is figuring out Itona's type so you can start making moves. Check back with me in half an hour. "

She walks away saying " We're actually making progress."

I had the perfect tool for this next challenge. I was exploring that book again and I found out that Iona was ordered to write down his thoughts in it so Shiro could see how the tentacles were affecting his thoughts.

On the first few pages there was only abstract swirls.

On the fifth page there was only one word. Stronger. 

until the 31 page, there was only 'stronger written all over the pages. 

On the 31 page you could tell that the tentacles were starting to settle because it looked more like an actual journal entry.

It said: " I attacked the octopus, my brother, and lost. I failed Shiro. I need to get stronger. I need to kill him."

After that, the only things written for a while were abstract thoughts like, "Shiro never lets me see his face and, Shiro can't cook"

The next real entry was the pool issue. 

" We duped a student in to doing our bidding, the octopus is mine. The student is stupid. He lacks vision"

It was nice to know that Itona called me stupid before he even freaking knew me!

The next things that were written abstract again

" I lost. The student had vision" 

My favorite was " My sneeze sounds like a kitten and I fucking hate it" 

I thought his sneeze was adorable. I kind of want to get my hands on some of that pollen crap and see if it still works on him. I hope it does because this could become potential revenge for the Bambi thing.

The next few entries went like this.

" Shiro is getting anxious. He's working on a new project, I think he's going to abandon me. I need to prove myself now"

The next entry simply said, the tentacles are gone.

the final entry in the book was labeled, my thoughts on Terasaka.

" When I first met Terasaka, I thought he was stupid. I was right. He is one of the dumbest assholes I've ever met, and I love him for that."

I had to reread that sentence several times.

A few seconds later I thought he was being sarcastic, but it turned out he was serious.

" He makes me seem like I'm ten times smarter when he's around. But I like him though. He's annoying but he's nice to be around. I just don't want him to abandon me."

The next few paragraphs talked about not wanting to be alone anymore. I wanted to give Itona a hug, but he's probably kick me.

I found him in a tree ( Typical) 

" Hey Itona!"

" Oh no. Not again" He said, climbing higher. 

" Relax. I just want to talk. "

" I'm staying in the tree" 

" That's ok. I'm sorry if what happened earlier bothered you" 

" Terasaka apologizing? Do you have a fever or something?"

" No. I read a book though"

" That's it. I'm calling 911"

" Here" I said, holding out the book.

Itona's eyes got wider again.

" Where did you get that?" 

" Found it at the maid cafe"

" That's weird, It was at my place. I never brought it to school..."

" The octopus" We said together.

" Aaaaaaagh" Itona groaned. How much did you read?" 

" Every freaking word" 

" Gimme" He said, jumping out of the tree and snatching the book.

I couldn't help laughing.

" Hey, Kitten sneeze for me"

Itona stared at me. " No"

" Come on, please? It's so adorable."

" I said no. I don't know how you find it so adorable."

" Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?"

" I'm leaving" He said, sprinting off.

I sighed and walked back to the school building. To my surprise, the lights were off.

I walked inside and almost had a heart attack when the lights suddenly came on and everyone yelled, " SURPRISE!" 

" You officially graduate love boot camp." Kayano said. " I'm so proud" She gave me a hug.

" You follow your heart and if you ever need a little help just ask! I am determined to get you two together!" Ritsu and Kayano said together.

I was abut to walk out of the building when I was hit by a Koro Sensei BB. I turned around to see Karma pointing a gun at me. 

" Sorry. Just getting a little emotional that torture Terasaka camp is over" He said, pretending to wipe away a tear. 

" I hate you" I said, but I still walked out of that building like I was a million feet tall. 

I found Itona in yet another tree.

" Hey" I said.

" Ahh, Its a wild Terasaka. I thought those were extinct. I should kill it and put it on my wall."

" That's nice" 

" I know" He said, jumping out of the tree, landing next to me.

I shook my head. " Is there some hidden world in the trees that I don't know about?"

" Yes Terasaka. Trees are magical." 

" Can you go one minute without saying anything sarcastic or mean?"

" No."

" If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Itona stayed silent.

" Oh Haha" I said, but Itona was staring at something.

" Terasaka? What is that? He was pointing to the air. 

I was about to say that he was crazy or something until I saw that there was some kind of white powder in the air.

" What the..." I waved my hand around in the air, spreading the weird stuff everywhere.

" Stop it your making it worse.... atchew!" 

I started randomly laughing at the kitten sneeze but then doubled over coughing.

Itona did the same.

" Its.. a drug..." Itona managed before passing out. I remember protectively pulling Itona to my body as I fell over. The last thing I saw were two men in black standing over us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hanger! New idea is that those two get kidnapped!


	11. How we got kidnapped part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kidnapped idea takes form! I'm gonna switch p.o.v s in this chapter for different parts. Also Terasaka bugs Itona about kitten sneezes. :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just gonna say thanks for all the views and kudos! this has been fun! ( minor spoilers about shiro's real name)

Terasaka's P.O.V

My head hurt and I felt sick. i could feel my head against my chest. I tried to move my arms, but I had been tied to a chair. I wasn't sure what had happened. Itona! where was he!

My eyes flew open. I was alone in a room, tied to a chair. I couldn't move and I felt like crap. I had to get out of here, and also find a bathroom.

 

Itona's P.O.V

What happened, why was I asleep? Agh, my head was killing me. MY GOD THAT STUPID TERASAKA! Why do I always get stuck in these crazy situations with him. I really had no reason to blame him. i just couldn't believe I had actually stood still long enough for that stupid cheap drug to take effect. 

When I opened my eyes I saw that I was tied to a pole in the middle of a room. What really concerned me was the fact that I couldn't see Terasaka. I needed to find him now. And there was no way I was actually going to stay tied to a pole.

 

Terasaka's P.O.V 

Operation get the hell out of this chair was a go! I was all set to go all super man on it when a screen lowered from the ceiling and started playing a video.

" Welcome welcome" said a voice from the screen. " I hope you are as comfortable as you can possibly be. My sincerest apologies for our methods of getting you here. You see, we desperately needed some bait for the octopus. I promise we will not harm if you if you stay put. Enjoy your stay."

The screen retracted back into the ceiling. 

Well, let the pain roll because I was not staying put. The voice from the screen seemed oddly familiar, but it didn't matter. And no pain could be worse than not finding a bathroom.

It was time to make my escape. I rocked back and forth on my chair trying to topple it over. i don't know why but that was really not a good idea because I tilted too far.

" Ok, here we go, back, forth, back forth.... AAAAAGH!"

Now I was on my face, still in a chair, worse off than I was before. 

I yelled in agony and thrashed around like I was having a seizure. I actually made it onto my side and was able to free one arm, then I untied myself.

" FREEDOM!"

Now to find a bathroom. And Itona. Him too.

 

Itona's P.O.V

After that weird video ended it was time to act. I could of sworn that I knew that voice, but I still felt horrible and thinking hurt my head. 

I have accessed my inner Terasaka.

Luckily, thanks to my undying paranoia after Shiro, I started carrying a knife around in my shoe. I haven't cut myself yet so it's been a success so far. 

Only my arms were tied so I was able to remove my shoe with the opposite foot. Then, with my almost scary flexibility I managed to grab the knife with my teeth, and cut myself free. 

My first task was to find Terasaka. And that's why god made texting. 

The random text conversation went like this. 

 

ME: I'm free. Where are you

TERASAKA: looking for a bathroom. 

ME: this is not the time to be stupid. 

TERASAKA: I'm serious I need a bathroom. 

ME: then find one already. 

TERASAKA: WHAT DO YOU THINK IM TRYING TO DO

( five minutes later)

TERASAKA: Itona

ME: I don't want to hear about the bathroom. 

TERASAKA: it's not about that. I think I found out where we are. 

ME: ?

TERASAKA: I walked into a lab. We're in some sort of laboratory. 

ME: Do you know where

TERASAKA: yeah. 405 Sakura drive. 

ME: wait, that's the street where all the rich people and their mansions are. 

TERASAKA: yeah. We're in some sort of secret base. So cool XD

ME: before you kill me with emojis, did you find anything else?

TERASAKA: this is crazy

ME: what?

TERASAKA: your gonna think I'm insane. 

ME: WHAT?

TERASAKA: today's date. It's Thursday. 

ME: but it was Tuesday afternoon. 

TERASAKA: I gotta go. 

ME: is someone coming?

TERASAKA: no, I gotta find a freaking bathroom before I explode. I'll check back with you in a bit. 

We had been here for over a day. I now needed to go idiot hunting before he screwed us more. 

 

Terasaka's P.O.V

There was no bathroom. If there was it was invisible or something because I couldn't find it. There was a potted plant though. Drastic times call for drastic measures. 

After I answered natures call, I started looking for Itona. I texted him but he didn't answer. 

I walked down the endless hallway, looking for some sign of him. Poor Itona. All alone. 

There was a crash. 

I rounded the corner to see Itona standing over the unconscious body of a guard. 

You can just forget about poor Itona. 

" hey" he said calmly. 

I wanted to say something dramatic, but all I said was, "we need to get out of here"

Itona nodded. " agreed"

We walked down the hall, but that hall turned into a maze. 

" crap" I growled " I hate mazes"

As we began to wander the labyrinth we started talking with nothing better to do. Unfortunately the first topic was an awkward one. 

" Terasaka, you are going to answer me honestly. Why did you kiss me?"

" uh. It was a dare?"

" no. No BS. I want the truth. 

" well, you see..."

I was dying. I was picturing nothing but Itona right now, him sleeping on my lap, hugging me after the Bambi issue. Falling off the high dive, that adorable kitten sneeze...

" Itona, that sneeze was adorable."

"WE'RE SERIOUSLY GOING BACK TO THAT?!"

" you sounded like a kitten" I said, grinning evilly. 

" Shut up" 

" do it again"

" I SAID SHUT UP."

We heard footsteps so the conversation had to stop. 

As we sprinted and tripped ( that was mostly me) around walls, we eventually wound up in a sort of security base. 

" this could be the key to getting out of here" Itona said. 

We both knew what we had to do. 

" let's split up" I said. Itona nodded and took the west side. I took the other. I believe it was south. No, north. SOME FREAKING DIRECTION. 

Itona's P.O.V

I was rifling through some blueprints. Most of them were of the outside of the mansion. One of the blueprints was labeled, the magic tree. 

That made me smile. 

It showed how pushing on a certain branch on the fake tree in the yard sprung a series of traps. It pocketed it just in case. Also, it was funny. 

But that blueprint just made me think about Terasaka. How much weirder he's been. And that kiss, I still wanted to kill him but... Would he do it again?

I was distracted by my thoughts by a beautiful sight. 

" it's... So beautiful. " 

Sleek metallic sides, a piercing silver gleam, working gears humming in perfect harmony...it was one of the most beautiful machines I had ever seen. 

Terasaka saw what I was looking at. 

" yeah. I read about their plan. They were going to tie us down and try to zap us with that thing. Koro Sensei would try to save us and get obliterated in the process. There was even a forty percent chance that we'd die. Are you even listening to me?"

I wasn't really. I was staring at that metallic beauty. That shining work if art. 

" are you crying?"

"No"

I wouldn't deny that my eyes weren't misting up a little. 

" only you would cry about a machine. " 

" I'm not crying. I'm admiring passionately. "

"Sure"

" why did you kiss me again?" 

" uh, I like you?"

" what? "

He didn't get to finish though, because we heard voices entering the room. 

We ducked behind a desk and watched as two men came in, one who had a strange device over his eye. 

" it's all ready sir" said the man without the eyepiece. " except that the hostages escaped. "

" that's all right. Let them think they're winning " the other man said. His voice sounded so familiar. 

" but Ynagisawa,"

" it's Shiro when the octopus is around."

I felt everything go blurry. Shiro. He was here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that was a spoiler for you. Also, I might keep writing more chapters with both p.o.vs. maybe, maybe not.


	12. How we got kidnapped part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2! I'm gonna keep switching point of views in this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! This is hard. I originally liked Itona more, but now I like terasaka more. I CANT CHOOSE A FAVORITE!

Itona's P.O.V

Shiro. He was here. The hidden mastermind pulling the strings. Again. 

" ITONA! WAKE UP!"

I felt something cold splash over me. I realized that my eyes were closed. When I opened them I saw Terasaka with a bucket. It didn't appear to be raining, so why was I wet.... Terasaka has a bucket. 

" WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"

The bucket carrying idiot shrugged. 

" You fainted or something. I was just trying to help"

Shiro really freaked me out even after all this time. My god, he was trying to kill me again, alongside Terasaka which made it that much worse. 

" are you ok?" 

It was Terasaka's voice surprisingly. I didn't think he could talk quietly. 

" I'll be ok" I said. " but the octopus won't be if we don't get out of here. Shiro is the only one who has ever gotton close to killing the octopus. "

" nope. " Terasaka said. " you weren't there but we got pretty close on that island."

" how?" 

" aquatic jet packs, boats, and videos of koro sensei dressed as a bug. "

" what?"

Somehow Terasaka's stupid voice was distracting me from thinking about Shiro. We needed to get out now. 

" Let's go" I said. " I know how we can get out. "

We ran out of the lab and started sprinting down a hallway. We ended up in a weapons facility. My god, I want to live in this place. 

After exploring the weapons, we tried to call the school. Ritsu answered us. 

" Where have you two been?!" She said. 

" abducted" Terasaka said like it was no big deal. 

" STAY WHERE YOU ARE!" The octopus yelled. " IM COMING TO GET YOU!" 

" Keep your phones on so I can track you." Ritsu said. 

" Sorry guys. We can't stay in one place" Terasaka said, looking towards the door. Scientists were streaming through the door. 

" Hello Guinea pigs. Chose the pain hm?"

Shiro found us.

Terasaka's P.O.V

We were completely surrounded. Itona had frozen up again so it was time I took matters into my own hands. 

I grabbed the nearest weird looking weapon and turned it on. 

" Terasaka, that's a vacuum. "

" It is?"

Itona apperantly snapped out of freeze mode to tell me how stupid I was. 

Anyways, I did the desperate thing and chucked the vacuum at Shiro's face. Then I started throwing everything I could reach. 

" THATS THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OF TECHNOLOGY!" Screamed a scientist. 

" RAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Was my answer. 

Suddenly a scientist got hit in the head by a paper weight I threw. He went down and me and Itona ran for it. 

" Wow. It did something right" Itona said. 

" Shut up" 

We made it to the front entry hall. The main doors were locked however. 

" I got this" I said. 

Then I ran and slammed myself against that door for all was worth. 

The doors flew open and I crashed into a deer lawn ornament. Cliche much? 

Itona calmly walked outside smirking at the sight of me and the deer. 

The moment was broken by the sound of people running towards us. 

" Oh no" I said. 

" Just block the door" Itona said. 

" Why? Where are you going?"

"The magic tree!" He called sprinting off. 

This day was turning into one big cliche. 

" ITONA! THIS IS NO TIME TO PLAY IN THE TREES!"

But he was already gone. 

Itona's P.O.V

It didn't take me long to find the tree and it was a very convincing fake. 

I looked at the blueprints to find the right branch. I found it and tried pushing on it. 

It didn't move. I tried climbing up the tree and jumping on it too. I was to light to move it. 

" WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Terasaka had seen my tree jumping. 

" I need someone heavy" I called. 

" I'm a little busy" Terasaka said, trying to keep the door closed. We didn't have much time. 

Sometimes it sucks to be small. 

There was something I could do. I located the main hatch of the tree and acessed all the wires. I can speak wires. I managed to jumpstart all the traps. 

Terasaka opened the door to see the scientists falling into pits and getting hit by darts. One man made it out though. 

Shiro dodged every trap, sprung over a pit and raised a knife over Terasaka's head... Then a yellow something grabbed our waists and whisked us into the air. 

Terasaka's P.O.V

We were down the octopus's shirt. 

" WHAT THE..."

Itona put his hand over my mouth. 

" I'm as weirded out as you are, but do you want Shiro to hear us?"

Itona was right. The monster of a man wasn't sure where we went. But it didn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out what happened. 

" Come out Koro Sensei! Or I may have to do something that might make you a bit angry" 

Itona and I stared at each other. 

" You don't really want me to use this do you?" Shiro held up a pen. 

Except it wasnt a pen. It was a little radio satellite. 

" Don't come out now, this will affect anything with a single trace of tentacle serum in its body. 

I didn't get it. Koro Sensei would most likely be able to escape. Then I understood. 

Itona most likely still had some traces in his body. 

" Alright Ynagisawa. I'll come out. Just don't fire. " 

The octopus put me and Itona behind a rock, than managed to appear behind Shiro. 

Shiro smiled. " ah. It's been so long since I tried to kill you last. "

With a wave of his hand the shiny death ray thing began to lower out of the arch above his head. 

" you will hold still until the Ray stops firing. Or I may need to use this. " he held up the radio antenna of doom. 

" ok" the squishy fool said. 

Itona and I watched with bated breath as the Ray fired, and fell apart. 

Koro Sensei wasted no time in snatching us up and getting out of there. 

" how did that fail?" I asked. 

Itona held up a gear. " I couldn't help myself"

" YEAH!" I cheered, ruffling his hair. 

When we got back to school, Muramatsu gave us huge bowls of ramen. Plus we were treated like heros. 

It was nice. 

and it would have stayed that way if I hadn't seen Mr. Karasuma and Bitch Sensei nodding. 

Synchronized nodding is never good. I tried to enjoy the party, but I was still a little concerned about things to come.


	13. How I made the worse choice in my life ( again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Difficult choices! Relationships tested! Drama! Won't say no more here! You gotta read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers are hopefully done. This is one of the last dramatic parts for a while. I'll likely go back to my weird stuff. Also back to one pov at a time. This is Itona right now.

" it will be perfectly safe. Not like before"

Every cell in my body was yelling at me to get out of there. I could tell that Kayano felt the same. 

I couldn't believe we were sitting here listening to the idea. I couldn't believe we were considering it. 

They wanted us to get the tentecles back.

The morning after Terasaka and I were kidnapped, Mr. Karasuma came looking for me. Kayano was already with him by the time he found me. If it was possible, he looked grimmer than usual. 

" Itona, I have some people who want to speak with you"

I went with, but as I walked I couldn't shake a sense of dread. 

Kayano didn't know what was happening either. 

Mr. Karasuma walked us to the parking lot and opened the door to his car. 

" Wait, you're taking us somewhere?" Kayano had asked. 

" Yes. The government has a new plan, and it involves you two. "

I don't know what compelled us to get in that car. 

We were drove to an official looking building, and were herded into an elevator. 

Soon we were confined into a scary looking waiting room. 

Kayano watched Mr. Karasuma walk into an office and start a conversation. 

" do you have any idea what's going on?" Kayano asked. I didn't answer. 

" Itona? Are you ok? Ohhhh" 

She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. 

" You ok now?" She asked. I nodded. 

The reason she did that wasn't really a big deal. Since I had the tentecles for so long, it just feels like something should be there, like something is missing. I can get a little comatose trying to feel something that isn't there. Sometimes all I needed a was some sort of pressure in that area, hence Kayano running her fingers through my hair. 

It happens to her too, so I'm usually the one that runs my finger down her neck. 

There was some issues with Nagisa, when he saw me do that, which led to long complicated, somewhat awkward explainations that Karma listened in on. 

To put things simply, their the only other ones who know about this. I think Terasaka saw Karma bring me out of that state at some point. That could explain a lot. 

" You two can come in now" Karasuma said, opening the door. 

We walked in to see several government agents waiting for us. There were even two chairs set up for us. 

We sat down, waiting for stuff to happen. 

Finally the guy in front of us began to speak. 

" you two are the indeviduals who were implanted with the tentecles.

It wasn't a question, more of a statement. 

At the mention of the tentecles, Kayano went comatose. I helped her, then we both stared at the guy in disbelief. 

" yeah we are. What does it matter?"

" We would like you to consider having them back. "

We both went comatose at that.

The tentecles. Have them back? Go back to that brain dead prison full of pain. 

Mr. Karasuma shook us, bringing us back. 

" This is a bad idea" he said. " they're in pain just thinking about those things. "

" you're the only ones that could do this" the guy said, as if he didn't hear Karasuma. 

" we would put up more safety rails this time. The girl would have a drug to keep the pain at bay, And the boy would be about the same, but with the modifications they would keep their natural talents and wouldn't hear the tentecles at all"

No visions of power, no pain, only my greatest weapon back. It would seem good, but I could never go back. I could tell that Kayano felt the same. 

" can we talk about it" Kayano said. 

" of course. Just remember it would be safe. It will be perfectly safe. Not like before. 

Kayano and I went into an empty office. Karasuma stood outside like a guard which I appreciated. 

" well?" Kayano asked. She was trying to be strong but her voice was shaking. 

" Koro Sensei won't see it coming, we'd be as strong as he is. I can see why the government likes this" I said. 

" what are we going to do?" Kayano asked, tears falling. 

" I don't know" I said numbly. 

We moved closer together, me putting my hand on her neck, as she out hers on my head. And we thought about it. 

I didn't want the tentecles. Not at all. 

But that wasn't true. I remembered that back at the magic tree, I was longing for the tentecles to I would be strong enough to do the simplest thing. And seeing Shiro really shook me up. 

I turned to Kayano and she met my eyes. We had our answer. 

We opened the door and Karasuma walked us back to the office. He put his hands on our shoulders. 

We reached the office and walked up to the guy. 

" Well?" He asked, folding his arms. 

" We'll do it" 

The guy beamed. " alright people get everything ready, the sooner the better. You two, try to relax for the injection. 

"Wait what!?" I said jumping back. Kayano grabbed my arm. 

" No! That's too soon!" Karasuma yelled, jumping in front of us protectively. 

" Karasuma, now or never" the guy said, standing up. 

" It's ok" Kayano said, stepping in front of him. " we're ready."

" the injection will take place in five minutes" the guy said leaving the room. 

Now we were in a waiting room. Just me and Kayano. 

She smiled weakly and squeezed my hand. I nodded. We were both terrified.

" Kaede" she said. 

" what?"

" call me that" she said. That was the last thing we said to each other before we were taken to separate wards and strapped to tables. 

The scientist said stuff about breathing normally, try not to pass out. Then he raised the needle. The tentecles were supposed to be in the same place as before. 

Terasaka. What would he think. 

Then the needle came plunging down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! Terasaka isn't in this! He will be back though


	14. How I became a lion tamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cat gets involved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story-cat is based on my sassy real cat! I guess I own this character? Its a cat. Does it count? It's an OC! Original Cat! :) :) :). 
> 
> Actually make that OCC Original Cat Charecter. Kabuki is mine! do not steal!

Itona was avoiding me

I don't know if it was something I did. It could be. I do a lot of questionable stuff. I hope no one ever finds that box.

Anyways, I could tell that Kayano and the rest of the people I shall call the "love squad" were getting worried. Actually, Kayano was acting weird too, so it wasn't her who approached me with this cat-astrophe.

" Hey Terasaka," Instead of Kayano, the trouble bringers were Kurahashi Hinano and Hayami Rinka. They were holding a cage

" We thought we needed to step in and save the relationship" 

" There is no relationship" I growled.

" Believe what you want" Hayami said. 

" What's with the cage?" I asked. 

As if to answer my question the thing in the cage hissed.

" Wow, that thing certainly seems catty" 

Itona, right on time for a sarcastic comment.

" Good you're here too" Kurahashi said. " And actually you're not far off."

She held up the cage that turned out to be a cat carrier. 

" This is Kabuki. He needs a home for the day while we clear up some space in the shelter. Could you two look after him?"

Kabuki was a Japanese bobtail. He actually looked pretty cool.

" Why us?" Itona asked. " Cats aren't exactly my thing"

" It might be fun" Kurahashi said.

Hayami whispered in my ear " We found an article that says that cats can help with relationships"

I should have known. But, I did want some quality time with Itona, maybe find out why he was acting different. It wasn't really that different. I mean he was quieter and slower to insult me. Plus he kept holding his head like he had a headache. I mean you would only notice these things if you spent a lot of time watching him...I'M NOT A STALKER!

" We can take him to my house. We just got some really awesome new chairs." I said. Don't know why I picked chairs. We did get new ones though. Since when was I so nervous around Itona?

" Sounds good. You'd better have food at your place cause' I'm starving."

I smiled. He was in for a surprise. 

" Ok have fun" Kurahashi said, dumping the carrier in my arms. Kabuki wailed in protest.

" Hi Kabuki!" I said to the cat, trying to be friendly. The cat almost took off my nose.

" Jeez. Prick. Hey Itona say hello"

" Why? It's an animal. Well I greet you so..."

" Really?!"

" Hey Kitty" He said. Kabuki started purring.

Well, everyone's a critic. 

We took the bus to my house. Kabuki didn't seem to like being on the bus and began yowling. ( possibly swearing in cat language)

" It's the bus. No big deal" I said to the cat.

Three seconds later the bus came to an abrupt stop and I fell over almost squashing some fifth graders on the bus as well.

Well, Kabuki purred at that. 

This cat and Itona have a lot on common. 

We eventually made it to my house.

" Woah..." Itona said, seeing it. 

My house is a decent mansion. 

" It's got nothing on Sakura drive, but it's home."

" I always assumed you lived under a bridge..."

" That's enough. Get inside."

Itona was in awe of the front hall with all the crystal stuff. 

" How do you survive with all these mirrors?"

" I do"

" I don't think I could. If I was you I don't think I could take looking at King Kong every time I came down here."

" I DON'T LOOK LIKE KING KONG!"

" Mmhm"

Time for a subject change.

" Behold..." I said, dramatically opening a door " The chairs!"

They were huge, and fluffy and felt like you were hugging a panda. 

" You live in a mansion and the best part is a chair?"

" Correction, Chairs. Plural."

" Idiot" 

" You shall change your mind" I said picking him up"

" Why does this keep happening?"

" Things happen" 

I put him in the chair, and it was official, his mind was changed.

" Ok, I'm never moving again." Itona said, snuggling into the chair.

I chuckled seeing how the huge chair dwarfed his body. It was kind of cute.

" Oh wait, I'm still hungry, but I don't want to move. Agh! Conflict!" 

" Whatever will you do?" I asked. 

Woah, hold the phone. I, Terasaka, just said a decent sarcastic comment! Yes! Cue happy dance in my head. That's one thing Itona shall never see. 

" Fetch me food peasent" 

" Uh, No" 

" Ok...Do you like, have staff here or something."

" Nope, they left when my parents left"

" So..."

" I'm all by myself" 

" You sound lonely"

" Was that an offer to be alone together?" I teased.

" Nope. Sorry to get your hopes up"

I rolled my eyes. " Well I'm alright for now. I have you, and Kabuki..."

Kabuki was gone

" He opened the cat carrier!" Itona yelled.

" So cats do have hands" I said.

Itona looked at me. Time to keep those thoughts in my head.

There was a crash from the kitchen.

We rushed in to the shiny kitchen ( Itona: " My god, I've been blinded)

The cat had hopped up on the counter and shattered the glass potato peeler. 

" Oh no!" I yelled.

" Not the glass potato peeler" Itona said in mock horror. 

" Who even freaking has that?!"

" I do! or did... Bad cat! Wow..."

Kabuki was a good looking cat, but he was fat. Like freakishly, not good for your health fat.

" I take it back Terasaka. You're skinny. Flesh and bone compared to this thing."

" Haha Itona" I said rolling my eyes.

In the time we were talking Kabuki had opened a drawer, stolen a shiny object, and ran away.

" Hey Terasaka, the cat got into the silverware."

" That's goldenware around here."

" Jesus, Terasaka." 

There was a new crash.

" Heeeeeeeereeeee! Kiiiiiiiityyyyy!!" I yelled.

" You sound like a dying goat." Itona commented.

" Thanks for that" I said, rolling my eyes again.

" Anytime." 

We found the cat hanging from the freaking chandelier.

" WHAT THE! HOW DID HE GET UP THERE?" 

" Cats are good at jumping" Itona said. " They also like trees."

Kabuki wailed. It seemed that he was stuck and couldn't get down.

" That's your own fault!" I yelled up.

" Miiiiiiiiiiii!" Kabuki whined.

" I refuse to save you!" I called.

I turned to walk away and was hit by a truck. Actually, it was the cat jumping down and landing on me. 

" Stupid thing" I hissed.

Kabuki hissed and gave me a lovely view of his rear end. Then he walked over to Itona and started purring. Kabuki was covered in dust and other crap from the ceiling. He was honestly quite disgusting. 

" Hi kitty. Woah..." Kabuki decided that he was done getting pet for the moment. He walked away leaving a layer of dust on Itona's clothes.

" I take it you don't clean the ceiling." Itona said, brushing himself off.

" Heck, you should know me by now. I don't clean anything" 

" Obviously"

" What do we do?" I said watching Kabuki track paw prints across the carpet. 

" I don't know"

" We should give him a bath"

" I'm open to that"

* author's note: I highly advise not giving a cat a bath. Obviously these two have never owned a cat. AAAAND BACK TO THR STORY! ;)

 

We tried to pick up Kabuki to bring him upstairs but he got away. I eventually got some tuna from the kitchen and made a little trail. Kabuki followed us up the huge flight of stairs. 

" How can you...possibly get up... These stairs everyday?" Itona said out of breath. 

" Magic Itona"

" Ok. How do you not fall down them?"

" Ok! We made it to the top!" I said to change the subject. I couldn't answer the stairs question without loosing my dignity. I have a habit of tripping at the top and falling all the way to the bottom. 

When we reached the top of the stairs, both Itona and Kabuki collapsed breathing heavily. 

I laughed at them and it would have lasted longer but I lost my balance and almost fell. 

We led Kabuki to the bathroom with the help of the tuna. 

"Are you sure he's not going to drown in this?" Itona said eyeing the huge tub. 

". I think we'll be ok" I said. 

I began to fill the bathtub with water when I noticed that Itona disappeared. 

"ITONA!" I called. 

" I think I'm lost" was the reply I heard. 

I found him in the massive soap closet. It was my mother's and it is huge. Easy to get lost.

When I found him Itona was reading the back of some soap. 

" I get it now. I know why you came to school smelling like bitch-Sensei. 

" I was out of my soap" I growled.

There was a splash and Kabuki was scrambling to get out of the toilet. 

" That cat needs supervision at all times" I said. 

" We should wash him before he does something dangerous. " Itona said. 

And then all hell let loose. 

I made the mistake of saying time for your bath in front of the cat and I'm pretty sure that's a trigger word for a freak out. I grabbed the angry cat. That was extremely stupid as the cat started scratching like a madman. ( or madcat)

I was jumping around the room still holding the cat trying not to get scratched. 

Eventually I tripped and fell into the tub bringing the cat with me.

" YOU SHALL BE WASHED!" I yelled, yanking a scrub brush off the side and attempted to clean the cat. 

Well, Kabuki wouldn't stand for that and started scratching again.

" ITONA! I NEED SOAP!"

" Ok. Do you want moistener soap number one or two? Ooh. Here's midnight lilac. Hear anything good yet?" 

"HURRY UP! I'M WRESTLING A LION!"

" If you say so. Soap choosing takes time you know."

" SHUT IT! I NEED SOAP!" 

" yeah yeah. Hygiene's important. I got it. Let's see... I'll just use all of em'"

" Wait what?"

I was hit in the head by five bars of soap.

That started filling the bath with a crap tone of soap. I started gagging and Kabuki chose that moment to jump out off the back and run down the hall.

" ITON..*cough cough* Ito*cough*" the soap was killing me.

" I'm on it. Don't hurt yourself."

He ran after the cat from hell

I tried to climb out of the bath but fell back in.

" Help! i'm drowning!" I cried. Then I realized while the bath was deep for a cat, not a human."

So I, Terasaka the soap monster made it down the hall, and fell down the stairs. 

I rolled down them and crashed into the front door. 

I rushed (ok, I limped) into the kitchen. 

i saw Itona staring at a long list of takeout restaurants that I made a long time ago. Hey, I have money, why not use it on something good.

" As far as I know, that menu is not a run away cat."

" I'm still hungry."

I heard the fridge door open.

" Either my hungry subconscious revealed the path to food, or the cat just opened the fridge." Itona said.

" Away we go, I said. I attempted to steer Itona towards the kitchen but he pulled away.

" Thanks but I don't want soap on me"

" Fine" When we got to the kitchen, the cat was eating a raw ham.

" WHAT THE? HOW DID HE DO THAT?"

" Is is crazy I want that ham?" Itona said, staring at the meat.

" That ham is raw" 

" i still want it. I'm starving"

I turned to Kabuki.

" You pushed me in a bath. That was a jerky move" The cat yawned and ran away.

" Seriously?" I said.

" mm. Jerky"

" That cat is rude" 

" There's original jerky and spicy jerky..." 

" He's also really fast"

" And sour jerky and sweet jerky..."

" You aren't listening are you?"

" And vegetarian jerky and... Oh your still talking?"

" Itona!" 

"I'm hungry. Actually, I'm dying of starvation."

" You can wait"

" Cannibalism" 

" Time for food" I said, opening a cabinet.

With Itona you never know.

" Oh thank god" 

" I'm gonna make a sandwich" I said.

" I'll eat everything else that's not in the sandwich."

" jeez. I'll make you a sandwich if you're that desperate." 

" make it out of the raw ham"

" NO! A CAT WAS EATING THAT!" 

" That cat had good taste"

" I'll make you a ham sandwich"

" With lots and lots and lots of stuff in it"

" Ok. You should maybe find Kabuki"

" Ok. There had better be a sandwich when I come back."

I successfully made sandwiches without too much trouble. A knife is now stuck in the counter but, I'll get it out somehow.

" Ah! food!" Itona said, holding a very shiny cat. 

" How did..."

" I found some stuff in the bathroom."

My eyes widened. I recognized that sheen anywhere. 

" You found my...I mean, you found some really really expensive hair gel and used it on a cat?"

" And a comb, and some scissors, and some glitter."

Kabuki now had a cowlick

The cowlicked cat saw my sandwich and dove for it.

" AAAAH NO MORE CLAWS! YOU ALREADY HAD LOADS OF HAM!"

I wrestled with the cat and I wasn't winning. I guess nature really is stronger. We fought until both of us were exhausted. 

"Ok. I have a solution" Itona said. " You two split it, or I eat it"

" But it's mine!" I said at the same time Kabuki meowed. 

I ended up giving Kabuki half of the sandwich. He took the bigger half before I could give him the small one.

" Should we really be giving cats sandwiches?" I asked.

" I don't know" 

After the sandwich war of Terasaka and Kabuki, the freaking bullet train of a cat took off to the sitting room. It did not take a genius to figure out where he was going.

" No, not in there!" I said making a mad dash for the chairs. 

I covered the first three with various things that the cat would not like to move. Then I sat in the fourth one. 

Kabuki gave me a pained look and walked into the entry way where we kept all our stuff. 

" Aww. I wanted that chair" Itona said.

" Uncover another one."

" I only like that one" 

" Ok. You are a cat. I'm pretty sure Kabuki is your spirit animal."

" Cool. Can I have the chair?"

" No" 

We both heard a weird sound coming from the entry way. Itona went to check it our while I remained King of The Chair.

" Hey Terasaka?" Itona said, sounding minor grossed out. 

" yeah?"

" The cat's giving birth in your bag"

" I'm not getting out of this chair."

" Terasaka, the cat is giving birth. What do I do?" Itona said a little more urgently.

" Nice try" 

Then I heard it. A low "Mrrrrrrrr" noise. 

" No way!" I yelled, running into the entry way. The cat was indeed giving birth, and sitting in my bag.

" ewwww" I said. 

" And they say the miracle of life is beautiful." Itona chimed in.

" How do we help a cat give birth?" I asked. " Wow. That was weird"

We settled on petting on Kabuki and telling the cat we were there. 

20 minutes later...(author's note: I don't have any idea how long it takes for a cat to give birth)...we had eight new cats. 

Names came next. four girls and four boys. We named em' Fuki (male) Kiyoshi (female) Michi (female) Jun (male) Ramen (male) and Akina (female) two still needed names. 

Our two favorites were still nameless. They needed the perfect name. My favorite was a male, and Itona's was female. 

" Lets see" Itona said. " I think I'll name you....Bambi."

" Thanks a lot" 

My kitten still needed a name. A name just as powerful and as amazing as mine...

" I dub thee, TERASAKA THE GREAT!"

" Seriously?" 

Terasaka the great rolled over against his mother's side....

" Hold on, they told us Kabuki was a guy"

" I know. He..uh she was pregnant. That's kind of hard to miss."

" We missed it"

The two of us sat in silence for a bit. 

" So Itona...."

" Yes?"

" What happened? You're weirder than normal."

" Uh, nothing" 

" Ok Mr.Not suspicious."

" I mean, everything's fine. 98% percent."

" 98?"

" You're in my life"

I made a heart in my hands and broke it in half. 

" Ouch."

" You want some ice for that burn?"

" I would get ice but that was cold Itona. That hurt."

" Just doin' my job."

" Why do you do that? It's just mean."

" Does it bother you?"

" Uh yes" I said.

" Oh sorry."

I sighed. " More sarcasm?"

"No, I was serious. Couldn't you tell?"

" Well your voice was a little higher than usual. Are you sure everything's Ok?"

" Yes I'm sure."

We sat in silence for a few minutes watching the kittens. 

" You sure?"

" AAAGH! YES!"

Fuki sneezed and it was adorable.

" Your sneeze is more kitten-like then the actual kitten."

" Thanks"

" Everything still ok?" 

" My god!"

" I know. I'm just too much"

" You have no freaking idea."

" Aw, you know you love me!" I said, pulling him closer to me and ruffling his hair. 

He smiled at my touch and placed his head on my chest.

" You like that?" I asked teasingly.

"mm" He shrugged, blushing slightly.

At that moment the door flew open and Kurahashi and Hayami came in.

Me and itona scrambled to get out of the slightly awkward position. I accidentally rolled into a coat rack. 

" sup'?" I said, getting in a pose that looked like I was comfortable even though I wasn't.

" We had a cat-astrophe" Itona said, pointing to the now nine cats.

" Wow" Hayami said. " They told us Kabuki came from an illegal breeding project. I guess he, no she, still had some kittens"

" That would explain the rapid weight gain" 

" And why she was such a bitch.' I chimed in.

" What are we going to do?" Kurahashi said worriedly. " We barely have enough room for Kabuki, but now there are kittens."

" I'll keep em" I said. " I'ts lonely here and I like em'"

" I get half custody" Itona said, petting a purring Kabuki.

" aww, you two are parents" Kurahashi said.

" Nope" we said in unison.

" Do they have names?" Hayami asked. I could tell she was trying to sound cool, but also trying not to squeal.

" Yup. Meet Fuki, Kiyoshi, Michi, Jun, Ramen, Akina, Bambi, and Terasaka the great!"

The girls both shook their heads at that one. 

I'll give you the Hollywood ending to this part.

The cats found a home, I got company, and this happened: 

" Terasaka! i'm coming over way more now!" Itona called as he was walking out the door.

" For me?"

" For the cats. I'm a parent now. I guess...But yeah. I guess for you too."

" Ha! I do matter to you!" I said triumphantly. 

He raised an eyebrow. " You always mattered to me. I like you Terasaka."

Well that made my century. 

Itona then realized that he was showing emotion. 

" i mean, It goes to show how nice a guy I am. It's not easy to be nice to slime"

" That's enough. Get outta here"

" Ok. See ya."

After he left I kind of wished he stayed longer. But I was on freakin' cloud nine. Only one thing brought me down. 

 

The next day Koro Sensei asked why I didn't have my homework, books, anything in my bag or bag in general. I went with the truth.

" My cat gave birth in my bag"

I could tell no one believed me, and I got double homework but Itona said he would help me. I don't know why no one believed me. Crazy stuff happens

Like Itona admitting that he cares about me.

Crazy stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I love cats so those kitties will be showing up a lot more! There will be more cat puns in the future as well, so be warned...


	15. How I saved the king from salmon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salmon. Its delicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yummy yummy salmon. I am really really hungry

Well this was special. Today was that random day that A class does a check in in our classroom. That was an issue. For one, it's totally random so Koro Sensei had to get the heck out of there and Mr. Karasuma had to act like our teacher. All the guns had to disappear pronto, and I had to rewire my tank, because I was trying to do some major repairs, (Kittens love tanks) I had to stop what I was doing and try to keep it from sparking all over the place.

" So class, that's how we solve for X" Mr. Karasuma said, pointing to the map of the world. 

Asano walked into the room. He looks just like Karma, just with a awful hair die job. Karma has pointed that out.

" Aw, Asano, You really need to stop trying to look like me. The hair isn't quite right. It's rather insulting to be honest"

And he brings it up again. 

" Aah. Mr. Karasuma, I understand that you are teaching geography?" Asano asked.

" Yes we are." He said.

" Then why are you solving for X?" Asano asked. 

" Why are you here!" Karma yelled.

" Pardon?"

" isn't the principle usually the one to check us out? And where's your little posse?" 

" Do you have a problem with my authority Akabane?"

" Hmmmmm. Yes" 

Asano was clearly fighting back the urge to yell at Karma. I've seen that face every time I annoy Terasaka

" Anyways," Asano continued. straightening a non existent bow tie, " I've come here to announce that E class is responsible for putting on a play for the rest of the school."

He was met with a chorus of " No way! Hell no! ect."

" You have no choice" He said, smiling evilly. " Also, thanks to a little bet I won against Akabane, I get to choose the lead."

That was bad. 

" I was going to choose Akabane, but he might actually be good at the role. I'll pick....you" 

Oh crap. He pointed at Terasaka. 

"Enjoy now" Asano said, waltzing out of the room.

The second he left we started tearing at the script Asano had left. It was an original from the A class writing club called Hijoshikina no jogi, which meant ruler of insane. It was basically about a king who gradually looses his marbles.

And surprise, It was a musical. Terasaka has to sing. He stopped talking for the rest of the day, which was kind of nice, but weird.

After school, when I had just gotten home, he started texting me.

TERASAKA: Can u come over?

ME: Seriously! I just got home!

TERASAKA: Come on. I need help.

ME: Ah. His majesty summons me. I shall come to his highness's aid. *bows*

TERASAKA: Very funny

ME: Does his highness not find it funny? My highest apologies

TERASAKA: You're on thin ice buddy

ME: Do my ears device me? a threat? What has a simple peasant such as me done to anger the great king?

TERASAKA: Shut it and get over here

ME: But your highness, I am across the country from you

TERASAKA: Aww. Are you so delicate that you can't make it?

ME: His highness mocks me

TERASAKA: No really Sherlock

ME: I'll let his highness know that the last bus to his castle already left. I'd have to walk

TERASAKA: Really, oh wow. You'll find a way right.

ME: If his majesty wishes.

TERASAKA: You'll come?

ME: I would not lie to my king

TERASAKA: You're the best! I'm gonna give u a hug when you get here!

ME: His highness better not test his luck, but sure. I'll be your knight in shining armor. 

TERASAKA: Ride! Ride Sir Itona! 

ME: K. Until we meet again your Majesty

TERASAKA: Until we meet again, noble knight 

I did the smart choice and called the octopus. I'll say that his methods of transportation are interesting, but I made it to Terasaka's pretty quickly. 

The door was unlocked when I got there. When I opened it, I saw something that gets onto my 'weird yet wonderful' list. 

" AAAAAAH! HELP!"

Terasaka was being chased by nine cats, holding a plate of salmon. 

" GOD SAVE THE SALMON!" He yelled. 

The downside of cats is when you jump up on something, they can follow you. It also turns out that Terasaka would be pretty good at hurtles. 

" DON'T JUST STAND THERE! HELP ME!" The wielder of the salmon snapped at me

I made the logical choice.

" Ok! Give it to me and i'll eat it quickly!"

" No way! I want to eat it!"

" So do they" I said, indicating the hungry cats.

" HELP!" Terasaka yelled louder. The cats had resorted to jumping. With claws out.

" Give me the salmon!" I called.

" No! my salmon!"

" Give me it!"

" No!"

" This is crazy! we're talking about a salmon!"

Terasaka answered by dumping the salmon in my arms. I tore off a quarter of it and tossed it to the cats.

The two of us ran upstairs, into Terasaka's room and closed the door.

" So." He said sitting down. " How's your day goin'?"

" Let's see. I just saved the king from salmon."

" Ok thanks for saving me from a cooked fish."

" Anything for my king" I said, bowing.

Terasaka nodded calmly, then grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me.

" I NEED HELP! THERE'S NO WAY I CAN PLAY A DEMENTED KING WHO SINGS!"

I managed to pull away from Terasaka.

" You have the demented part down it seems" I said. " I'm dizzy as heck"

It didn't help that I still had the tentacles. Not bringing that up now.

" Oh sorry. I NEED TO SING THOUGH!"

" Hmmm. Can't help you there" I said, shrugging. 

" Itoooonaaaaa!" Terasaka whined. He was actually whining. 

" Ok. Sing!"

" What?" 

" Sing!"

" Now?"

"No, in an hour. YES NOW!"

" Uh. Ok..."

" Get on with it!"

" I apologize in advance..."

" SING!"

" TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR!...."

All I can say is, time to call in the professional voice coach.

" Uhhh. That was...."

" I'M DOOMED! WOE IS ME!"

" Acting's not bad" 

" You're not helping."

" Helping was never the intention"

Terasaka looked about ready to go loose himself in the closet of soap. 

" Ok. You listen. I NEED HELP! YOU WILL HELP!"

" I think grammar was lost somewhere in there" 

" STOP WITH THE SARCASM! YOU KNOW I HATE IT!..." 

The idiot would have probably continued yelling at me, but he started coughing. It sounded like this.

"*cough, cough cough* I can't *cough, cough* Breathe.. *cough* AAAAH *cough, cough, cough,* I'M HAVING A STROKE! *cough, cough*"

I timed him. Five minutes of random coughing. 

" Maybe that wouldn't happen if we looked into anger management" I said, shrugging.

" Shut up" he growled, and decided to sulk like a pre-schooler.

I watched him for a while.

" OK STOP IT! STOP STARING AT ME!" He said. Terasaka's not good with pressure. 

" Pleaeeeease Itona!" He went back to whining. 

" Come on Itona-chan! pleeaaaaaase?" 

I rolled my eyes...Hold on. Itona-chan?

" Never call me that again and I'll help you" 

" Call you what Itona-chan?" Terasaka asked innocently

" I'm going home" 

" No you don't friend." He said, catching me around the waist. 

It was reeeeeally hard to not snap him like a twig with the tentacles. I didn't know why. I wasn't even that irritated.

The random must kill something feeling happens a lot, I guess I'm just gonna have to live with it.

" Hey Itona -chan, if you don't help me, I'm gonna keep calling you Itona-chan." 

" Shut up! I will!" 

I was in the process of figuring out a plan when the door mysteriously opened. 

" Merowr?" 

" OH NO! IT'S THEM!" Terasaka yelled as nine cats walked into the room, eyeing the other half of the salmon.

" Why do you even have a salmon?" I asked. 

" Oh, Uh, Stress eating."

I face palmed. 

After a short battle, Terasaka was left salmonless.

" I forgot Kabuki can open things" A very scratched up Terasaka groaned. 

" How does the cat open the door?"

" I don't know. The cat opened the fridge, The cat opened any door she wanted to, and The cat opened the washing machine. To sleep in the laundry."

" Wow. You do laundry?" 

" Shut up Itona-chan"

" You shut up"

We started talking about very random topics, and it got way later then I thought. 9:00 to be exact.

We were watching Terasaka the Great chase a ball of yarn (I'm officially a cat person) I was rolling it to him and letting him chase it, but then Terasaka decided to take it up a notch.

" Terasaka the Great is better than that. He can chase this!" He snatched the ball of yarn and threw it as hard as he could. The ball of yarn hit the digital clock and it fell on Terasaka's foot.

" Ow! Stupid clock...ITS NINE FIFTEEN!"

" Really? Stupid adorable kittens" I said. " I guess I'll try to go home"

" no you won't. It's dark out."

" So?"

" There's no way you can make it to your place in the dark."

" Try and stop me"

Terasaka nodded. " Challenge accepted."

He got up and ran out of the room. A minute later, I heard crashing and a loud " OW!"

I walked outside of the room to see Terasaka laying at the bottom of the stairs.

" The king has fallen" I said.

Terasaka jumped up and locked the door, then stood in front of it like a body guard.

" Try getting out now" He said smugly.

I walked into the living room and opened a window.

" NOT FAIR!" He called. " Just stay here!"

" Why?" I called.

" Cause' it's the witching hour." Terasaka said.

" You aren't serious" 

" Come on Itona-chan"

Hearing that, I went back to climbing out of the window. 

" I meant Itona! Come on Itona!"

" Fine"

I didn't really want to climb out a window. 

I took control of the guest room for the night, and it went well until five in the morning. 

I awoke to a searing pain exactly where the tentacles were. Before I could stop it, a tentacle whipped out and struck the floor, kind of loudly.

" DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!?" Terasaka roared from down the hall. When I didn't answer he called " Are you Ok?"

" Y-Yeah!" I managed to say.

It took a lot of effort. I hadn't been in this much pain since the tentacles almost killed me last time. I didn't hear Terasaka again so it was back to noramal

Me, alone with pain.


	16. How I became a detective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Investigations! Sort of...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry! I haven't updated this in forever! I'm gonna try and write three chapters in a row to make up!

It was a bleak and dreary day. I was sitting at my desk...Screw it. i can't narrate detective films. Sherlock Terasaka will have to live his life without narration. (Or is that Terasaka Holmes?)

Anyways, I will attempt to narrate about the events leading up to my detective-ness. Maybe I will give narration another shot.

Ok. At the highly esteemed yet messy home of Detective Terasaka, Detective Terasaka was doing homework while spontaneously bothering Itona over text.

ME: What's 5 times 12?"

ITONA: Should I notify the pre-school?

ME: No idiot. Just answer me

ITONA: But we didn't have any math homework

ME: I know. I'm doing geography. 

ITONA: ?

And so forth. I, I mean, the great Detective Terasaka, didn't know why he was texting Itona non stop. Ok, maybe he was a little worried. Ok, maybe he was having a hard time not yelling, ARE YOU OK?! when Itona was around...Anyways, he was sort of worried. So Detective Terasaka felt like texting Itona made him feel better. Or maybe Itona was dead and this was an AI texting. Detective Terasaka had watched a movie like that.

ME: Is Kumbaya a country in Africa?

ITONA: You're kidding right?

ME: Is it?

ITONA: No! It's a song!

ME: I'm getting a headache

ITONA: :)

ME: You're mean

ITONA: I know

Unfortunately Detective Terasaka was in Itona's debt as Itona had solved a little problem for him, involving a musical and singing. Speaking of which, I've actually got good at my lines, I mean. Detective Terasaka had set up a sort of system of texting Itona every fifteen minutes.

8:00

ME: Hi there

ITONA: Hi

ME: Interesting weather we're having

ITONA: What?

8:15

ME: What's the square root of pie?

ITONA: Isn't that a food?

ME: Crap i meant Pi auto cucumbers

ME: Cucumbers

ME: AAH I MEANT CORRECT!

ITONA: XD

ME: So square root of pi, do you know?

ITONA: Do I look like the embodiment of math as a person?

ME: You could be. You give me lots of problems

ME: XD!!!!

ITONA: That was bad. Really bad

It went on like this for a long time.

10:15

ME: Hello

ME: It's me

ME: I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet

ITONA: SHUT UP! I WAS SLEEPING!

ITONA: And what are you talking about? I just saw you this afternoon

Until it got to this point.

3:45

ME: Good morning friend!

ITONA: IT'S NOT OFFICIALLY MORNING UNTIL SIX!

ME: Yes it is. Morning starts at twelve.

ITONA: Just

ITONA: Shut

ITONA: Up

6:00  
ME: It's morning now.

ME: Itona?

ME: ITONA WHERE ARE YOU?!

ITONA: Jesus. I was in the shower. Chill.

ME: Oh thank goodness

ITONA: Really?

ME: No, I meant its good you're alive.

ITONA: Well thanks but I'm about to drop dead

ME: What?

ITONA: YOU KEPT ME UP AL NIGHT! I'M EXHAUSTED!

ME: Ok then. 

ITONA: Screw you too

Soon Detective Terasaka got to school and did his custom school greeting with his peers.

" Yo"

" Hey"

" Did we have homework last night?"

" Muramatsu you idiot! Of course we did!"

" How would you know Terasaka?"

" Ouch Yoshida"

Then we marveled at Hazma's ability to stay silent through our stupidity. 

And then we walk to class like badasses. And talk about cool stuff.

" We should start a kick line"

I think we all know by now that Yoshida's brain isn't fully online until nine.

" Ok. Let's do it"

And apparently Muramatsu as well.

I miraculously made it to class without becoming part of a kick line. By the time I got there Itona was sitting there, looking half asleep.

" Hello, it's me" I half sang.

Itona glared at me. Even Detective Terasaka can't think when Itona stares at him.

" I would murder you but I'm too tired"

" Aw really? I really felt like dying today."

Itona kind of just flopped down on his desk, muttering about stupid idiots.

Class started unfortunately and detective Terasaka had to endure LA. Not California, Language arts. Why is it even called that anyways. There's no art involved. That might be a good thing. Clay hates me.

Anyways, after class Koro Sensei gave us a ten minute break to deal with some issues ( AKA Bitch-Sensei's clothes. Okajima already passed out from lack of blood)  
I was attacked by the devil.

" Hey Terasaka come here" 

" NEVER!" I yelled and took off running. Don't know why. 

" Hey! I'm not going to do anything! I asked nicely!"

Oh wait. True.

" What is it?" I asked from a safe three feet away distance.

" Nagisa wants to talk to you"

" Then why are you asking. Oh wait are there little business cards that say 'Karma Akabane, official messenger' that I don't see?"

" Haha. Very funny. Nagisa doesn't want to leave Kayano"

With his keen detective ear Terasaka noticed that the devil said Kayano's name with a touch of sarcasm.

" Well Nagisa can deal with it. This guy doesn't talk to just anyone"

" My apologies your highness" Karma said bowing. " But I'm going to need you to associate with lowly scum. So I can actually talk to Nagisa without Kayano coming up"

" Fi...Hold on. You're jealous!"

" Am not. You're stupider then you look Terasaka, If you think that I'm jealous."

" Whatever. Take me to you're leader you pathetic space scum."

" That was bad. Very bad"

Detective Terasaka flashed back on Itona. He had been acting really tired lately. Overly tired, like willingly slept on the detective's lap tired. That's not Itona. That's defiantly not Itona. And one fateful night Detective Terasaka was talking to Itona via phone. The detective could hear Itona drop the phone, fall over and make obvious sounds of pain. He said he had burned himself, but the detective knew better. When you burn yourself, there's more swearing involved. He speaks from experience. 

Anyways, long story short the detective was worried about the robotics-loving shrimp.

Soon detective Terasaka was brought to the blue haired, not-a-girl-but-pretty-close.

Nagisa started talking but the detective starting thinking about how he would look with a fedora. 

" So that's it...ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?'

" You were talking?"

Nagisa groaned and started over.

" Kayano's been acting weird lately. All spacey and tired. She just seems out of it. Plus i overheard Mr. Karasuma asking her and Itona how things are going"

" Big deal" I said. " Mr. Karasuma says 'How's it going Terasaka?' a lot"

" No he said it in a sort of hushed voice"

" Ooh! A hushed voice! time to freak out everyone!"

" TERASAKA! I'M SERIOUS!"

" News flash, I'm not a serious guy." Detective Terasaka said, in a rare flash of sarcastic awesomeness.

" Terasaka!" Nagisa wailed as I started walking away.

" Go cry to Karma" I said, not really caring.

Looking back I see that my narration is terrible. It's gonna stop. I wasn't even a detective yet. 

Soon I was back in class for Social Studies. I got a somewhat interesting surprise. The octopus said we were going to do a random project on various topics that made the world better. But we were going to be put in partners and the process of choosing them was even stranger.

" Ok" the Koro-lunatic said. " I'm going to draw names out of a hat. Then I'll pull a topic out of another hat. And then from a third hat I'll pick the gender of the person's partner. Then the first person picked can choose a partner of that particular gender. Alright?"

I'll admit. It took a few minutes for that to fully register. 

The octopus drew Okajima's name out of the hat. The topic was vehicles. The gender was male (Much to Okajima's dismay) He picked Yoshida which I guess was a smart choice. 

A few more people went and then it was my turn. 

" Alright. The hat chooses Terasaka! And his topic is...electronics!"

Well, I've proven my worthlessness at that many times. Like the time I tried to fix my phone after I dropped it off a second story balcony. And that's when Itona comes in handy, but that lead to a mid crisis crisis. I couldn't text him, so that lead to me trying to fix it. With milk, a battery, and a raw steak. Don't ask me where that link came from.

" And the gender of Terasaka's partner...male!"

Oh that was perfect.

" Itona" I called. " Come! I summon thee!" 

Of course he moved as slowly as possible then. Koro-Sensei gave us the instruction packet and we were released outside to begin planning.

" Just to make things clear" Itona said, " You're going to do some actual work"

" Self phone fixing" i replied.

" Minimal work" 

I know exactly what strings to pull. The magic Terasaka strikes again! But then if i was magic, I would have fixed my phone and not made it spark all over the place by pouring milk on it. And then slapping it with a raw steak.

Anyways, the most we did during the "planning session" was talk about the phone-fixing-fail.

" So i can handle the dangerous stuff right?"

" Are you kidding? You slapped a sparking phone with a steak! And then I had to help you take care of a burn"

" I didn't mean to burn myself. I was only doing what the instructions said."

" You picked up a sparking phone to put it in a bowl of sand?"

" Yup. But I dropped it into the bowl of grass for after the sand"

" I wondered how the grass got in the wiring."

" Yup. And then I rolled the phone in flour and cinnamon."

" Oh my god..."

" And then I cut the battery in half..."

" You are so lucky the thought of wearing gloves penetrated your thick skull."

" But then weird stuff leaks out, so I throw that away..."

" Have you gotten a letter from the landfill yet?"

" No, I buried it In the backyard."

" Good Lord..."

" So I skipped the battery and went right to poking the phone with a stick."

" And then you call me with a payphone, half crying from frustration, asking if you can bring a dead friend to my house."

I remember that conversation. It went like this:

ITONA: Hello?

ME: IT'S ME!

ITONA: And this is...

ME: ME!

ITONA: Ok then...Are you selling something? Cause, I don't...

ME: No It's me!

ITONA: I'm just gonna hang up...

ME: Wait no! Don't leave me Itona!

ITONA: How do you know my name...Terasaka?

ME: Yes?

ITONA: What are you doing?

ME: I...I couldn't fix it

ITONA: Fix what?

ME: I..I failed

ITONA: Terasaka?

ME: It hurts so much...

ITONA: Are you hurt? Do you need help?

ME: Important question

ITONA: Here's one for you. Are you Ok?

ME: Can I bring a dead friend over to your house?

ITONA: WHAT?!

ME: I dropped him off a balcony...

ITONA: Terasaka...you're scaring me...

ME: I COVERED HIM IN FLOUR AND SLAPPED HIM WITH A STEAK! BUT I COULDN'T SAVE HIM!

ITONA: Wait what?

ME: My poor phone...

ITONA: Your phone?

ME: My phone...

ITONA: Oh I though...never mind

ME: The phone...

ITONA: are you crying?

ME: It's the lack of texting

ITONA: Well stop crying. It's weird. Come over and I'll fix your phone

ME: You're the best! I'll be there in five!

ITONA: But you live farther away than that

ME: where there's a will there's a way!

ITONA: What?

ITONA: wait, your phone has a gender?

ME: Let's not waste our time with idle banter!

ITONA: do you even know what that means?

ME: No...

So yeah. 

" And then I fixed your phone" 

Yup. I remember celebrating by sending Itona dancing men. 

ME: 

(._.)/

/) )

/ \

ME: 

(._.)/

/) )

/ \

ME: 

(._.)/

/) )

/ \

ITONA: Ok, I get it. You're happy

ME

(._.)/

/) )

/ \

ME: 

(._.)/

/) )

/ \

ITONA: OK STOP!

Soon we had talked our way through the entire story

" And then my favorite part" Itona was saying "The part when we figured out that the site you used for fixing your phone was a gag site"

" Uh yeah" I said blushing. " I totally didn't spend three hours doing stuff on that site." 

" You idiot" 

Overall i was really enjoying Itona's company, even though he was lecturing me on how stupid I was. Finally we heard Mr. Karasuma yell that class was over.

" Away we go friend! We shall go live in the jungle!" I said jumping up.

" Yeah no" was his answer. " How do you plan to get to the jungle anyways?"

" Uh, I thought you'd know?"

" Idiot" 

The rest of the day was long and boring. Soon it was lunch, or the 'heal from learning' period. I left my lunch inside and had to go get it. No one would get it for for me.

" Heeere lunch" I was saying. I got really used to saying 'heeeere kitty' to my cats and it was too quiet in here.

" Here lunch lunch lunch!" I was calling. Then I heard a voice. 

" So, Are you two sure you're ok?"

It was Karasuma. And just like that my suspicion levels skyrocketed and I became a detective.

I sneakily snuck over to the closed door to the teacher's lounge. I also got the mission impossible theme stuck in my head.

I looked in and saw Karasuma, Kayano and Itona.

Suspicious

" Seriously. If something's wrong, you need to tell me" 

" We're fine. Seriously." Kayano was saying.

" Mmhmm. The only problem in my life right now is Terasaka texting me at all hours of the night." Itona replied. 

The conversation went on for a little longer and I got majorly confused. Major experiment? assassination? Something was going on without me and that's not cool!

I hid behind the corner and waited for Itona to appear. Soon he did and I jumped out at him yelling the first thing that came to mind.

" TELL ME YOUR SECRET!!!" I also waved my arms around crazily. 

Itona threw a notebook at me. It successfully connected with my face.

" OW!"

" What are you doing!"

" Tell me your secret" I said, rubbing the notebook shaped mark on my face.

" What are you talking about! And why are you hiding behind corners like a creepy person?"

" You're not telling me something" I said accusingly. 

" Yeah. I don't tell you stuff all the time. It's not new."

" Itona!"

" What?"

" Tell me!"

" Tell you what?"

" Your secret!"

" I don't like hanging around stalkers. See you"

And he walked away. And then Detective Terasaka made a vow. (narration's back guys)

" I swear that I will find out what you're hiding, and also my lunch. You can't hide Itona. You either lunch"

I found my lunch. Only one thing left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok here you guys go! I'm enjoying the random texting, sorry if you aren't. The story's a little slow but I'm trying to make it entertaining!


	17. How I became a princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story continues with more randomness! enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there's a character that you haven't seen yet or isn't in this enough by your standards, tell me! I'm always open for suggestions. If you have an idea for a chapter, totally tell me that! I'm a random person by nature, no the random ideas are my favorites! Anyways, enjoy the chapter!

Terasaka has hit new numbers on the weirdness charts. He now stalks me every hour of the day, yelling about secrets. I can't believe he has the levels of focus to do this. Well, maybe I'm underestimating Terasaka a little. He's shown a new, more compassionate side ever since the muscle suit. Wow, is that really where this all started? Well hallelujah to the muscle suit because I like the new Terasaka.

I heard someone humming the mission impossible theme from behind the corner. 

" Hello Terasaka" I said.

" SECRETS!" the idiot replied, and jumped out at me.

" Ok, this is getting old fast" I said, and kept walking.

" Oh come on" the idiot whined. " Tell me what you're hiding"

" I'll tell you what" I answered. " If you own this musical-play thing, I'll tell you"

There's no way Terasaka could do it perfectly so I'm safe.

"You have a deal" Terasaka said dramatically, then walked into a wall.

I'm safe.

I have two more classes added to my agenda. Play rehearsal, I have the special job of tech crew/make sure Terasaka actually shows up, and assassination practice which revolves solely around me and Kayano.

I had to walk to the border of the E class woods where no one ever goes. The government set up a sort of obstacle course to help practice. 

By the time I was there, Kayano was already battering a dummy with her tentacles. It was impressive watching, how she only had two, but we were used for different purposes, so I guess there's a reason. 

" Hey Itona" She called. I waved silently focusing on outdoing her. The tentacles have made me a lot more competitive too. Terasaka said he could eat more rice balls then everyone, and then I felt like I had to eat more, which lead to the consumption of twenty five rice balls. That was a mistake.

Anyways, I removed the bandanna and focused on attacking from above. Which lead to ripping the dummy out of the earth and throwing it. Accidentally towards Mr. Karasuma

" Control, Itona!" He called, dodging the dummy as if this happened every day.

I nodded and tried a more controlled attack. Kayano and I worked like animal until we could hardly stand.

" That's good for today!" Karasuma called, noticing our tired states.

And then was the torture of play rehearsal.

We had to go the A class auditorium to practice. The actual show was next week so there was a large deadline. 

The plot was simple. Once upon a time there was a great king. He was loved by all his subjects and was intelligent, perfect, yada yada. 

One day the king decided that he needed a break for a while after his twin cousins  
(Maehara and Isogai) continue to pester him about sharing his estate. Charecter flaw: king didn't want to share.

Anyways he walks along the pretty country side and hears an arguement ith three farmers (Okajima Muramatsu and Takebayashi)

He resolves the arguement and continues on his way. He then hears rumors of a witch on a mountain, and being the brace soul that he is, he goes to see the witch. It turns out to be a girl (Okuda) that's suffering a special magic illness. The king takes a liking to the witch and wants to help her. The only cure is a special plant that grows on a single estate on the outskirts of town. He decides to go there.

He gets to the supposedly abandoned estate and picks a plant. The second he does a person appears before him. She is an enchantress (Kayano) and accuses him of stealing.

The king pleads his case and the enchantress says she'll let him go if he marries her in a year. The king promises and leaves.

The king cures the witch and she promises him a favor. The king goes back to the court then. One year passes.

Soon one year passes and the king falls in love, forgetting his promise to the enchantress. He falls in love with two princesses, one strong and outgoing, the other shy and locked away. I don't think the second one has any lines. ( parts yet to be decided)

The king is trying to choose which princess he will marry when the one year is up. The enchantress comes to the castle to claim the king but is sent away.

She uses magical means to see the king alone and talk to him, but he turns her away saying he already found love.

Hurt and angry, the enchantress hires a wizard (Karma) who specializes in black magic to curse the king. The wizard corners the king, chews him out, and curses him to slowly go insane.

Every night the king would have spells of craziness and his new fear is that his kingdom would see him. He consults the witch who alters the curse. He can be saved by true loves kiss.

The king trys to find his true love by consulting a fourtune teller (Hazama) 

The teller tells him that his true love is the one he never expected. He kisses the outgoing princess that night and nothing happens.

This makes the king give up and three weeks go by and the king gets worse. His craziness starts to leak through during the day.

Desperate he sneaks into the estate of the sorceress with the help of the silent princess who was more badass then thought.

He kisses the enchantress on the sunrise of his last day sane. It didn't work and out of rage the enchantress curses the king to die.

The silent princess stays by the kings side for three months until the king's death day. As he dies he thanks the princess for staying with him as he gets worse dramatic, dramatic 

The king askes if the princess will answer one last request. She leans forward to listen and the king kisses her. The king is healed. Happily ever after. And room for a sequel. 

Everyone else is on crews. There are various songs, most Terasaka sings. Then the kissing has to be real. Asano made it quite clear. 

"Ok team" Kayano was saying. " we have only a few days left. We need to decide the parts for the princesses. "

" Halfway done" Karma said. " Nagisa agreed to be one"

Nagisa shrugged. " I guess we need it. I know all the lines for the first princess anyways"

We still didn't have a silent princess. 

" issue two" Kayano was saying. " Itona are you sure that you have the Terasaka singing situation underhand?"

" Yep. It's flawless" I said. 

I'm pretty proud of my solution. I put a shock collar in Terasaka's costume. If his attention starts wandering I get to zap him. For singing, we're having him lip sync. 

" But really. We can't go on with rehearsal if we don't have a princess. " 

The girls all looked at each other. 

" The princess should be smaller so she looks similar to Nagisa" Nakamura was saying. 

" No ones even close though" Kayano said. " All of the short people already have parts. "

" Itona doesn't." Karma said. 

" Ok. I'll take Itona" Terasaka said shrugging. 

Did I hear that right? I'm playing a princess?

"No" I said and walked away. Or at least tried to. Terasaka blocked me. 

" And where are you going? I need a princess"

"That fine. Except I'm not a princess. "

" And I'm not a king. That's the magic o acting." 

"No way" I said, and kept walking. 

" Where are you going? Her highness is needed" 

Terasaka dragged me over to the rest of the group. 

" Alright. Itona is the princess. It's settled"

"No it's not!"

" scene one guys!"

" Hold on!"

I was ignored. Soon I had to act, and it went pretty well. But then came the kissing scene. 

Attempt 1

This involved me yelling OH HELL NO" and walking away. 

Attempt 2

I kicked Terasaka when he got close. 

Attempt 3

I slapped Terasaka but didn't walk away. Progress. 

Attempt 17

I still couldn't do it. 

" Ok Itona" Kayano sighed. "You don't need to actually kiss him. Just make it look like it."

" No way. Personal space" I said. 

" But Princess Itona" Terasaka said. "Love has no personal space"

He said it like it was some great statement. 

It wasn't.

We looked at dresses next. My least favorite part. It seemed like everyone in the class had to go.

" Ooh! Put him in this one!" " No way! the purple one!"

I tried to sneak away.

" Hey! I found one that will fit him perfectly!" Terasaka called.

He held up a barbie dress.

" You're kidding" I said. 

" Good point" Terasaka said. " Might be too big" he tossed the tiny clothes aside. 

" I'm done" I said, and tried to leave yet again.

I was stopped by a yell of " It's perfect!"

Kayano was holding up a dress. It was black, lines with purple. It was pretty shiny, but had a veil.

" I'll wear it if I wear the veil"

I said.

" Deal!" Kayano said. " Now put it on!"

" At the store!"

" Yes. Now do it!"

So I ended up showing off a dress to the entire store. Kayano needs to work on squealing quieter.

The day ended by Terasaka intercepting my going home.

" Hey Shrimp, or should I say, princess shrimp"

I kicked him.

" Owww. You don't give my shins any time to heal"

" Sorry. Now get out of my way"

" Just wanted to tell you, enjoy your last few days with the secret. I'm gonna own the show!"

Why me? Seriously. Why must all this happen to me!?


	18. I don't have a good name for this chapter cuz it's different!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The musical!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to write this a little differently. Not too much, just the entire chapter is going to be about the show as it's happening. It's gonna be Itona's POV, and there's not going to be very much of what's going on inside him, more so the show from his point. So, enjoy! You're technically the audience!

Kunugigaoka Junior High, E Class would like to welcome you to the production of Hijoshikina no Jogi (Ruler of insane) 

Cast

King Akio- Terasaka Ryouma

The Sorcress, Ai- Kayano Kaede

Princess Kaori- Horibe Itona (I resent that name.)

The witch, Chiyoko- Okuda Manami

The scorer, Takashi- Akabane Karma

Princess Amaya- Shiota Nagisa 

Hideo- King's advisor- Sugino Tomihito

Kazuo, king's cousin- Isogai Yumma

Raiden, king's cousin- Maehara Hiroto

Farmer 1, Jiro- Okajima Taiga

Farmer 2, Jun- Takebayashi Kotaro

Farmer 3, Junichi- Muramatsu Takuya

Gen, the fourtune teller- Hazama Kirara

Narration by A.I.F.A (Ritsu) 

 

Tech Crew (Lights, sound)

Kanzaki Yukiko

Fuwa Yuzuki

Sumire Hara

Mimura Koki

Set Crew

Sugaya Sosuke 

Okano Hinata

Kimura Masayoshi

 

Backstage Personal (costume director, prop manager)

Kataoka Megu

Kurahashi Hinano

Chiba Ryunosuke 

Nakamura Rio

Hayami Rinka

Yada Toka

Yoshida Taisei

Supervising teacher

Karasuma Tadaomi (Actually, it was Koro Sensei)

 

Written by the Kunugigaoka writing club. 

Please Enjoy the Show!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The auditorium was full. The show sold out. I'm not surprised. Kanugigaoka plays are usually good, but then the actors aren't usually E class students. Oh well.

The principal is on stage now. 

" Hello everyone! Thank you for coming to tonight's show...bla dee da de bla" I guess I zoned out because next thing I heard was Ritsu's voice. The show had started. 

 

" Once upon a time. These words are the beginning to every timeless tale that we know. A tale of love, heroic action, royalty. This is one of those tales, just not the way you'd expect."

The curtain slides open to show Terasaka sitting on a throne, looking out a painted window.

" King Akio. The most beloved king in the forgotten kingdom's history. King Akio was everything the people could ask for. Brave, kind and devoted to the kingdom."

" King Akio!" Sugino is on stage now, as the king's adviser. 

" What is it Hideo?" Terasaka, or the king asks, shifting forward on the throne. 

" Well Sire. Your cousins are here to speak to you"

The king sighs. " Send them in."

" Of course" Sugino, or Hideo, bows. " it will only take a second."

The king turns towards the window again and sighs. And sings the first song of the show.

(Or in this case, lip syncs. I can't believe we're pulling this off.) 

As the last bars of music plays, Maehara and Isogai charge onstage, as the cousins.

" Your highness! Your highness!" The two yell in unison

" Ah. My cousins. Kazuo ( To Isogai) Raiden (to Maehara) What brings you here?"

" You should know that." Kazuo/Isogai says snobbishly. 

" Yes My lord. You should of known we were coming. We gave you much notice" Raiden/Maehara says, just as bossily.

" What is it? I'm not sure I remember. Is this about the pig that escaped the kitchen? I assure you, we know who saved it's bacon"

The audience chuckles at the terrible pun. 

" No my lord" Kazuo/Isogai says sassily, placing a hand in his temple dramatically. " You are growing old, sire. I think it may be better for your health if you, how do I place this? Share the royal estate"

The king starts laughing. " Oh Kazuo. You always were the jester of the family. Old? I am but your age and if you consider me old, you must think of yourself as an elder!"

The king laughs again.

" Oh yes." Kazuo/Isogai says. (It's amazing how much we've gotten into the roles.) " I jest. Only a joke" Raiden/Maehara shrugged. 

" Erm, Sire?" Raiden/Maehara asks. He's as stuck up as his brother, but is the more timid one.

" What is it Raiden" The king says, " Speak up! You're always so quiet."

" What my brother is suggesting is, well, we could take over part of the estate" 

" The offer is appreciated Raiden" The king says. " But I am fine on my own. If that's your only matter of business, I must ask you to leave. I am quite busy"

Both cousins bow, letting the audience see their furious faces. 

The curtains close, then open showing the brothers walking out of the palace.

" What now?" Raiden says. " He is not going to give us the estate"

" Do not fret brother" Kazuo says. " I have a plan. Trust that in one year's time my plan will take action. 

And the curtains close. 

They open again to show the king once more.

" Hideo!" the king calls.

" Yes sire?" Hideo/Sugino appears and bows.

" Is my afternoon free? I wish to take a walk after my cousins' visit"

" They are that bothersome?" Hideo/Sugino asks. 

" They were my best friends growing up, but they turned spiteful somewhere. I do trust that their true personalities are there but for now..."

The king trails off. 

" The afternoon is free sire" Hideo/Sugino says.

" Then I am off." The king rises from his seat.

" Right now!?" Hideo/Sugino asks.

" Of course! Do you have a problem Hideo?" 

" No sire" Hideo bows and stays that way until the king exits. 

" Oh dear" He says, standing up. " Maybe I should have mentioned the council meeting"

The curtains close as the audience chuckles in sympathy for Hideo. And that's scene one. 

The second scene starts with Ritsu's narration.

" The king ventures out into the countryside, in search of peace and quiet. What he found was far from."

The curtains open to show a set of a field and three farmers arguing. The king is off to the side listening. 

" I heard that she has warts over her body!"

" I heard she changes colors!"

" That's ridiculous! I heard that she is half spider!"

The king listens to the three farmers for a minute longer, then reveals himself.

" Hello gentlemen! May I ask what you are speaking about?"

The three farmers jump back.

" L-Lord King" One says nervously.

" No need to be afraid. What are your names?"

Okajima's farmer speaks first. " My name is Jiro."

The Takebayashi. " I am Jun"

Then Muramatsu " And I am Junichi."

" A plesure" The king says. " I don't mean to be rude, but what are you speaking of? Some great beast?"

" A witch!" Jiro/Okajima says.

" A big ugly scary witch!" Jun/Takebayashi says.

" A big ugly scary witch who is part spider!" Junichi/Muramatsu says.

The farmers dissolve into argument. 

" That silly. No way she's half spider!"

" No it's not!"

" Idiots!" ect ect ect.

"Gentlemen, Gentlemen!" The king says, getting them to stop. " You've never seen this witch?"

" BUT WE KNOW STUFF ABOUT HER!" They say in unison, and launch into a humorous song describing the witch.

Once the song is finished, the king speaks

" But you still don't know if this fact" 

" Well...No" Jiro/Okajima says.

"So you have no right to judge"

" I guess not. " Jun/Takebayashi says.

" But, someone knows the truth right?" Junichi/Muramatsu says.

" Well, someone will today." The king says. " Because I'm going to find this witch."

The farmers cheer.

" The brave king will save us!" Jiro/Okajima says. 

" He will slay the monstrosity!" Jun/Takebayashi says.

" Ding dong the witch is dead!" Junichi/Muramatsu says. All three farmers dance in a circle and sing ding dong the witch is dead.

" Do you know where I can find this witch?" The king asks.

" She lives in the death spire mountains!" Jiro/Okajima says. The trio of farmers dance offstage and the curtains close. 

The curtains open a few times showing the king hiking over various terrain, showing how far he has traveled. Finally he stands in front of a cave shaped like a skull. He draws his sword and the curtains close, ending scene two.

( We're actually doing this)

Scene three starts with the king cautiously walking on to a set painted to look like a cave.

" Hello? Witch?" The king calls, but he is obviously nervous. 

There's a crash from offstage, then footsteps. The king jumps behind a rock.

Okuda as the witch comes on muttering.

" Blast it all! I can't believe that a dropped another jar of mushrooms! enough to make me go crazy!"

The audience can see the king slowly gathering courage behind his rock.

" FREEZE FOUL WITCH!" He yells, jumping out with his sword drawn.

The witch screams and flattens herself against a wall.

"W-Who are you?" she asks.

" I am a brave warrior sent to slay an ugly witch. But something must be wrong. You are not ugly, or even half spider"

"H-half spider?" the witch asks.

" Yes. My apologies. I am hunting for a witch, but you are only a girl. Can you tell me where the witch is?"

" Well," she says, chuckling. " You're looking at her."

" What?! You are indeed the witch!?"

" yes sir, and I have no intention of hurting you. So please, could you lower the sword."

" No" the king says. " I will not listen to the words of a witch"

" Well that's not fair." The witch says. " I'm an honorable witch. I swear upon the king's life that I will not harm you!"

" I do wish people would stop swearing upon my life, but alright witch. I'm trusting you."

The witch steps away from the rock once the sword is lowered.

" Ahh. That's better. WAIT! YOU'RE THE KING!?"

The witch quickly bows at the king's feet. 

" Now now. You don't need to do that. What is your name?"

" Chiyoko, lord king" Chiyoko/Okuda says, still bowing. 

" I said get up. There's no reason to bow to me."

" But you are a king, and you spared my life" 

" Because I was sent to slay an ugly foul witch. You are not that. Now rise"

Chiyoko/Okuda does.

" Well, it's nice that one person sees me that way. My dream is to leave this cave and become a healer. Travel around the kingdom and help people."

She then sings a song about it (Is it just me who's impressed that she can sing?)

" And why can't you?" the king asks. 

" I suffer from a magical defect. I can't leave a strong source of magic or I will die. This cave has magic strong enough to support me."

" So you can't leave"

" No. I cannot."

The audience can see the king thinking. 

" Isn't there something I can do?"

Chiyoko/Okuda sighs. " Not really. Well, there is one way. A plant called the mandragora. But it's very rare and I can't exactly go searching for it can I?"

The king stands up. " I will search for this flower!"

Chiyoko looks at him in astonishment. " You'd do that?"

"Of course" the king bows. "it would be my honor."

The music drowns out the noise and the audience sees Chiyoko give the king more directions, then the curtains close. 

The curtains open again to show a garden, closed off by an iron gate.

" Oh no. This gate will not stop me! AAAAAH!" the king charges at the gate with his sword. (Am I the only one who's seeing regular Terasaka right now?)

It doesn't do anything.

" Blast! I will not be stopped by a mere gate!" 

The king tries a series of ridiculous attempts to get into the gate, (making the audience and everyone backstage crack up. I didn't think he was acting that his shirt got stuck)

And eventually just climbs over.

And he's in. And scene four begins

" What a lovely garden. I hear that this land belongs to an estate that was abandoned years ago" the king begins to search the garden. In the center of the stage a flower bush sits. Covered in the most magical flowers (We could make out of arts and crafts supplies. We tried)

" This has to be it!" the king picks one of the flowers and holds it up to the light

" STOP RIGHT THERE!" The lights flicker then turn off. When they turn back on, Kayano as the sorceress is standing there.

" Who are you?" the king asks, obviously frightened.

" I have a question for you" the sorceress says coldly. " Why are you on my estate?"

" Your estate? I thought this land was abandoned."

" You thought wrong. Alas, you must wish that you are anyone else as you have walked upon the land of Ai! Sorceress of shadows!" Ai/Kayano strikes a dramatic pose.

" Who?" asks the king. The audience laughs.

" You haven't heard of me?!" Ai/Kayano says angrily. " How dare you. I shall strike you down this instant!"

The lights start to flicker again.

" Wait! the king yells. Maybe we can make a deal!"

" You come to steal from me, and now you want to make a deal?!" Ai/Kayano is the picture of rage.

" Lady Ai. I beg you. Please, I need this flower. I will give you anything. I will give me part of my kingdom"

" Your kingdom?" Ai asks. " Wait. To my ears deceive me? I have the king of the lands at my mercy? this is too good!"

Ai starts laughing.

" Are...are you willing to make a deal?" the king asks.

" Oh yes I am king Charming. I am indeed. In one year's time you are to become my husband and turn your kingdom over to me"

" You're crazy!" the king yells.

" Am I?" Ai says. (Kayano got scary in this role) " I think you're the crazy one to come here in the first place. Now deal or no deal?"

The king looks at the sorceress, then the flower.

" Deal" Terasaka says softly.

The lights stop flickering. 

" Well, then. Off with you my future fiance. One year's time my dear. One years time.

The lights shut off and the sorceress is gone. The king visibly relaxes.

" Now to bring this to Lady Chiyoko. One year's time. The foul sorceress comes in one year's time..." The king trails off. 

He walks offstage and the curtains close.

Scene five.

The scene shows Chiyoko/Okuda sleeping against a rock.

" I HAVE RETURNED!" The king thunders back on.

Chiyoko screams and sits up.

" What? Huh? Oh. Your highness. You frightened me."

" My apologies fair lady. I have brought back the flower."

" So you have!" Chiyoko is the image of happiness. " I can't believe you actually did it! Was there any trouble?"

" Just a sorceress." The king says it like it's nothing, but Chiyoko is obviously worried.

" Well, I do owe you a favor."

" That's too kind my lady." the king says.

" No it isn't I insist. Please, let me pay you back"

" Alright then, but it's going to have to wait. I must return to the castle. I daresay that I'll see you again?"

" You'll come to visit me?"

" You'll visit me." The king says.

Chiyoko hugs him and he's on his way.

The king passes the three farmers on his way back.

" What does she look like!" Jiro/Okajima calls.

" You'll have to ask her!" the king calls back. The three farmers start whispering.

A few set changes later, the king is back in his throne room.

" King Akio. You have returned" Hideo/Sugino says bowing. " i just got the reports of the harvest. It's going to be a very busy year."

And end scene.

The next scene starts with Ritsu again. (It's getting dangerously close to my turn)

" The year passed. It had been a good year. The king ruled over his subjects with ease. Chiyoko had visited several times and had fulfilled her traveling dreams. Most of all the king had forgotten about Ai and his promise.

The curtains opened to reveal the two cousins.

" Well Raiden? I did tell you that my plan would go perfectly did I not?" Kazuo/Isogai says.

" Indeed brother" Raiden/Maehara says. " it worked flawlessly. Never has the king been so vexed."

Ritsu speaks again.

" Kazuo's plan was simple. He spoke to the king of another land who had two eligible daughters. Kazuo planned to have the king marry, get to busy with his wife to rule, and hand over the estate. The plan was working well. The king was smitten with both daughters. Amaya was brave, outgoing and wild enough to match the king. And Kaori was quiet and never spoke, But some times you needed a quiet person when the king went off on one of his rants or long stories.

The cousins walk off stage and the curtains close. They reopen to the king's throne room.

Hideo/Sugino enters. " Your cousins are here sire, and the princesses are coming."

" Wonderful" the king says. Right after he says that, the cousins enter.

" Hello sire" the cousins say in unison while bowing.

" Kazuo! Raiden! It has been a year since I last saw you!"

" Yes sire" Kazuo/Isogai says. " we don't mean to rush you, but we need you to make a choice about your bride."

The king sighs. " Yes Kazuo. I know. I'm trying to choose. Amaya or Kaori. Amaya seems to be my soul mate, but really, I swear that there's something special about Kaori."

Hideo exits then comes back on instantly. " the princesses are here sire. Should I send them in?"

" Yes Hideo. Send them in"

And the princesses enter. (And might I add, fuck my life)

" Amaya, Kaori!" The king says. " Welcome!"

We both bow.

" It's an honer to be here" Amaya/Nagisa says. I nod. (Silent princess. thank god. And the veil, You can't really see my face)

" I would like you to meet Kazuo and Raiden. My cousins"

Kazuo bows. " Hello my ladies. It's a plesure"

Raiden follows suit but seems more flustered.

" H-hello my ladies." It's obvious he has a diehard crush.

" Now that we've all been acquainted, I suggest we all go outside for the luncheon" the king says. " Hideo, will you show them out?"

" Of course Sire." Hideo/Sugino leads everyone but the king offstage.

The king looks out the window, thinking. He doesn't notice when the lights start to flicker. Kayano/Ai appears.

" Hello my king" she says.

" Ai!" the king cries. " I thought you had forgotten!"

" never,my love. You should have known that I was always coming back."

The king face palms 

" uh, here's the thing. I kind of already found love"

Ai is clearly enraged.

" What.Do.You.Mean?"

" I already found love lady Ai. I'm sorry but I never loved you in the first place"

" I don't believe this!" Ai starts crying. (Brought to you by Kayano, master of stage tears. " I grew to love you! I kept going because of the eternal promise of love! How could you take that away!" (I think I'm gonna be sick. Waaaaay to sappy)

" I told you! I don't love you! You should have known that you would not gain anything. Face it, Ai. You lost this deal."

Ai is too stunned to speak. She starts sobbing, the lights go off, all is silent and Ai is gone. 

The king looks around. " I might as well go join the luncheon" (#selfishTerasaka!! As you can see I'm getting really bored.)

And end scene.

The next scene shows a mansion, and Ai, still crying.

" I can't believe he would do that. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WOULD DO THAT!" Her sadness slowly turns to rage. 

"Is it too much to get just one thing in life?"

Then she sings a song. 

And continues crying.

" So sad" a new voice says. (We had Karma use an echopad from offstage)

" Wh-what?" Ai says, drying her tears.

" So sorry to intrude, but it pains me to see an old friend sad."

" Who are you?" Ai asks. 

" Oh, you know" the voice answers.

" No. It can't be. Takashi?" 

There is laughter, then the lights turn off. When they turn back on, Takashi/Karma is there.

"Hello my lady Ai" Takashi/Karma says bowing.

"Takashi! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL THESE YEARS?!"

Takashi/Karma shrugs. "All over my lady. Wizards like myself are in high demand. I thought it would be nice to come home for a while, and I find my old friend crying. What have you done to screw up now?" 

Ai glares at him. "You have not been missed Takashi"

"That's a lie and you know it" Takashi says. "So? what's wrong. You can't expect me to spend my whole break here with you."

"If you must know, my heart was broken today" Ai looks at Takashi, expecting sympathy. 

"Is that it? Alright then" Takashi starts to walk away.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Ai screams. "You don't even know the full story."

"Well hurry up and tell me. The two for one special on goat liver isn't going to last forever"

Ai slaps him.

"Are you listening?" "Sort of"

Ai ignores him and starts talking.

"The king snuck onto my land and you know how much I hate that. And then he tried to steal! Can you believe it? So I made a deal with him, I mean he's a king and has all sorts of wealth. I planned to marry him and take over his land but...I fell in love. TAKASHI! DID YOU EVEN HEAR A WORD I SAID?!"

Takashi nods. "Don't worry. I did. So what do you want me to do about it?"

"What? you?"

"Yes. I can get things done if you'll recall, and it's been a while since my last curse. What do you suppose I do?"

Ai scowls. "I want you to drive him as insane as he drove me when he told me he already had love!"

Takashi nods. "Alright. That won't cost too much"

"I'M PAYING YOU!?"

"Of course. You don't expect me to work for free."

With that the lights flicker and turn off. The curtains close and the scene ends. And scene eight begins.

The curtains open showing the king and Hideo walking down the hall.

"I do believe that luncheon went quite well." Hideo/Sugino was saying. "The princesses seem to be warming up to you."

The king shrugs "I guess it went alright."

"You sound tired sire. Do you wish to rest?" Hideo/Sugino asks. 

"That would be nice" the king says and he walks offstage. The curtains close.

They reopen to show the king sitting on his bed.

"I thought there was something I needed to do right now. Ah well. Hideo can handle it."

As he prepares to lie down, the lights start to flicker.

"OH WHAT NOW!" the king says. "AI! I ALREADY TOLD YOU. I ALREADY FOUND LOVE!"

"Really?"says a voice that isn't Ai's. "Do you mistake me for a woman?"

The lights turn off. When they come back on, Takashi/Karma is there.

"Who are you and why won't you folks leave me alone!" the king groans. "Why do all the magic people bother me?!"

"Because we love to annoy stupid humans who think they're great! So much fun making them turn inside out, and making important body parts explode..."

"That's very nice...HELP!!!!"

Takashi grabs a hold of the king. "Shh. Let's keep this quiet. Where was I? Ah yes. Cursing you!"

"What?"

The lights start to flicker again. (I'm just gonna say, I'm not paying for the electrical bill.)

"Alright then! I curse you to slowly lose the thing you hold dearest, that it will make you go insane, driven by madness your rein shall end! Goodbye now!" the lights turn off and the wizard is gone.

The king is on the floor.

The door opens and Hideo/Sugino comes in. "Sire, Did you call for help?"

"The king sits up. "No. I'm fine. It was probably a dream. Say, what do you think my highest quality is?"

Hideo thinks for a moment. "Your looks?"

"OH NO! I'M GOING TO TURN UGLY!" the king runs offstage and end scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I tried. this chapter is going into two parts cuz it got long.


	19. Mini chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! i got bored of the other chapter and really really wanted to write some more random crazy stuff so here it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're scared of furbys...I apologize. 
> 
> Terasaka's POV to start out. I might switch POVs.

Spring cleaning. I hate you. Why do you come for me every year? and I have such a huge house! why? I might as well stop complaining. It's not going to get done any faster.

It was spring cleaning if you couldn't tell by my monologue. And this really sucks if you have a house as big as mine. Oh well. It was pretty clean for the most part except, the attic.

I walked up to the top of the stairs and into the guest room. Then I pulled down the ladder that lead to the dusty junk filled hell. The attic is not something one can brave alone, so I texted Itona.

ME: COME TO HELL WITH ME!

ITONA: I'm good thanks

ME: No seriously, come over.

ITONA: but why?

ME: I'm holding out for a heroooo, I'm holding out for a hero til the end of the niiiight!

ITONA: What did you do this time?

ME: Nothing...yet. I just need help with something

ITONA: Ok then. Be there in a bit.

I had to venture into the attic on my own for a bit. I can do this. I'm Terasaka! Not a wussy! So Terasaka the adventurer entered the attic! Dun Dun Dunnnnn!

It was really dark up there so I called upon...the flashlight phone! It helped a bit, but I'm in dusty hell. You never know what you'll find...

I tripped over a box and swallowed a spiderweb + spider. I chocked for a bit, then tried to actually clean stuff. It wasn't going well. I kept getting distracted by random things. And then I found it.

I reached into a box and felt something soft and small. I pulled it out. It was my old Furby!

I got the thing when I was six and played with it all day...until the nightmares started. Then Mr. Furbo got to live in the attic.

"Well Mr. Furbo." I said. "You're just as scary as I remember"

"Hi! Want to be my friend!?"

Wow. It still talks. That's pretty good for after all this time. I thought the batteries would have died by now. Oh wait, I took the batteries out. If this thing was less creepy, OH CRAP!"

I took the batteries out. How is it talking? Think Terasaka. There's some explanation about this. Hmmmm.

"Me hungry"

"AAAAAAAGH!" I yelled and threw Mr. Furbo at a wall. Then I hid behind an old coat rack.

 

Itona's POV

When I got to Terasaka's house, the idiot was gone. It didn't take long to find the ladder to the attic. 

Well Terasaka was right about it being hell, because the first thing I saw was a Furby embedded in a wall. When I pulled it out it wasn't even damaged. Weird.

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" Terasaka came running out of nowhere. 

"But why not?" Terasaka seemed pretty paranoid about the Furby.

"MR. FURBO IS EVIL!"

"Who?"

"MR. FURBO WANTS TO EAT ME!"

"Huh?"

" WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

Ok, Terasaka has lost it.

"Who is Mr. Furbo?" 

Terasaka pointed to the Furby. "T-That"

I couldn't help it. I started laughing. "The Furby wants to eat you?"

"Yes!" Terasaka screamed. 

"Feed me!" I looked down at the furby. "Ok, that's a little creepy" I said.

"There's no batteries!" Terasaka hissed.

"That's ridiculous. It has to have batteries." I opened the battery hatch. "It wouldn't be talking if there were...There are no batteries"

I now saw this thing of evil in a new light.

"What do we do?" I asked cautiously. 

"FEED ME!"

"AAAAH!" we both screamed and I chucked the furby into the depths of the attic. 

We sprinted/tripped down the ladder and into the backyard. 

"The Furby! it talks!"

"I know!"

"No batteries!" 

"I KNOW"

I didn't know how either of us were going to sleep tonight.

 

Terasaka's POV

I was trying to sleep, but it was impossible with the guest room, and Mr. Furbo, three doors down. 

Breathe Terasaka. You'll be ok. That's it. Now go to sleep and dream about the kittens, or butterflies. Something girly and nice. Ahhhh.

...  
...  
...

"I'm hiding. Can you find me?"

HOLY SHIT! IT SOUNDED LIKE MR. FURBO! But that's impossible. Mr. Furbo is in the attic. Mr. Furbo can't walk. Ahhhhh.

...  
...  
...

"Me hungry"

"AAAAAAAGH!"

IN THE DOORWAY! IN THE FREAKING DOORWAY! MR. FURBO! HE WAS THERE!

I got a chair form my desk.

"Back! Back foul beast!" I became Terasaka the lion tamer. (Or would that be Furby tamer?) 

"Feed me!"

I kicked the Furby and it fell down the stairs. I looked down and expected to see a pile of gears but no. Mr. Furbo was sitting on the bottom step.

"Me hungry!"

I sat at the top of the stairs all night to make sure it didn't move. I swear, at one point I fell asleep and when I woke up Mr. Furbo was three steps higher then before.

 

Itona's POV

Terasaka looked awful. Like a were-raccoon. When he saw me he started yelling like a madman.

"ITONA! IT'S GONNA KILL ME! AAAHAHAHAHAAA! I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"Jesus, calm down! Why are you freaking out?"

He thrust his bag out. I looked in and regretted it. Mr. Furbo.

"Why would you bring that here!" I whisper-yelled.

"I don't know. I don't want it at my house!"

"I don't want it!"

Eventually Yoshida and Muramatsu came over to us. "Are you two ok?"

"No" we said together.

"Why?" Yoshida asked.

"Mr. Furbo." was our answer. 

"What? What is that? a clown?" Muramatsu asked. 

We showed him the bag.

"So you guys are freaking out because of a kids toy?"

We nodded.

"Ok. Are you guys on crack?"

The two of us just started babbling then.

"Mr. Furbo's haunted!"

"No batteries!"

"Want's to eat me!"

Want's to eat us! I touched it!"

"I owned it for six years!"

"PLEASE HELP US!" we yelled together.

Muramatsu and Yoshida seemed concerned now.

"Feed me!"

"AAAUGH!" we both screamed, throwing the Furby at them (+ all of Terasaka's books) 

"What's wrong with this thing? It's a little creepy, yeah but is it really worth freaking out about?"

"There's. No. Batteries" Terasaka said.

"Feeeeeeed meeeeeeeee!"

"IT DIDN'T DO THAT BEFORE!" I yelled.

Yoshida and Muramatsu were now clear of the horror of Mr. Furbo.

And now the thing was at school

 

Terasaka's POV

The four of us stared at the reincarnation of the devil.

"Me hungry!" 

We all dove behind a bush. Why was that really the only thing is said! Was it really going to eat me!?

"We gotta get rid of it!" Yoshida said. "How long have you had it?"

I shrugged. "I found it yesterday. I got the thing a long time ago."

We all stared at the glassy half closed eyes. "Is Mr. Furbo really going to kill us?" Muramatsu asked.

"Maybe" was the best answer. 

"We need to get rid of it now" Itona said.

And that's how we ended up sneaking of campus with a bag that contained a haunted furby.

We took my van. Now let me tell you the story of my van

MINI STORY IN CHAPTER: THE VAN!

Ok, so once upon a time I was hanging at Yoshida's for some unknown reason, and I was sick of riding motorcycles, and I saw this van in the driveway. It was white and tan and kind of beat up, but it was love at first sight. 

"Hey Yoshida?" I said, "What's with that big sexy rig in the lot right there?"

The first thing Yoshida said was "I didn't know you were truck-sexual."

"NO! I WANT THE TRUCK!"

"That's a van genius."

"Uhh...So?"

So I persuaded Yoshida to bring me over to the van.

It was beautiful. It also smelled like fish. I never wanted anything more in my life.

"Ok, let's go" Yoshida was saying. "It smells like fish in here."

"Can I have it?"

"Huh?"

"I want to sleep in it"

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!?"

After much whining, the van was placed in my possession. The first day after I got it, I rounded up my gang and drove them down the highway.

They didn't look to thrilled when they heard I was driving.

"Uh, thanks Terasaka, but...I'm busy" was what Muramatsu said, while Itona just said, "I don't want to die" and walked away.

I somehow got all of them in there and started driving. Unfortunately they all started whining.

"Why is Terasaka of all people driving?!"

"I already said that I don't want to die" 

"I could be doing so many other important things right now"

I couldn't concentrate on the road with all the noise so I tried singing to shut them up. That just made things worse.

" MY EARS!"

"I feel my skull exploding..."

Itona was just laying on the floor, hands over his ears.

"Get up and shut up!" I yelled looking back at them.

"EYES ON THE ROAD!" They all yelled back at me

RIP badger. I'm sorry I ended your life.

I drove them around longer then I said I would, one because I was having fun, and two, I was trying to get the badger off my tires.

"Hey Terasaka, look out for the adorable baby hedgehog your about to kill!" Muramatsu yelled.

"WHAT!?" I screamed, jerking the wheel.

"AAAAGH!" Everyone in the back screamed as the van swerved.

"I'M AN IDIOT!"

"MURAMATSU WHY?" Yoshida wailed, digging his nails into his chair.

Hazama and Itona were hugging each other.

"Ok, ok I'll drive back" I said. Everyone started cheering so I didn't see the broken glass. Long story short, we walked home.

AND BACK TO THE FURBY!

"Remind me why I got back in the death mobile" Itona was saying.

"I think we all need a wake up call. Yoshida said. "Now, who gets shotgun and who sits in the back with the Furby?"

Muramatsu and Yoshida ran for the shotgun, and Yoshida won. 

"Ok. Itona, Muramatsu, you're in the back" I said.

"Nope. I'm sitting on Yoshida's lap. Being small has its perks" Itona said.

"Really?" I asked. 

"Haunted furby"

And we were off.

We were silent, to afraid to move more then three inches. I pitied Muramatsu.

"Me hungry!"

We all screamed and the van swerved. That happened six more times.

"Just tape it's mouth shut" Yoshida said, gripping the seat.

"Where am I supposed to get tape?!"

"The man purse"

The ever present man purse was with us. Muramatsu fetched some tape and reached over to tape Mr. Furbo's mouth shut.

"OW! IT BIT ME!"

I pulled over.

"Muramatsu, out" I commanded. 

"Why?" 

"I don't want a were-furby in my van"

"What?! I'm not going to become a were-furby!"

We were all quiet.

"Yummy!" said Mr. Furbo.

"AAAAAAAH!" we all screamed again.

"It does want to eat us!" I yelled. Poor Muramatsu looked like he was going to faint. Time for drastic action. Soon Muramatsu was sitting on Yoshida's lap and Itona on mine.  
Mr. Furbo got the back to himself.

We drove to a lake and got out.

"Your rein of terror ends here Mr. Furbo!" I said. I picked up the man purse and took out two bowls.

"What are you doing now?" Yoshida asked

I put the bowls around Mr. Furbo and carried him out to the lake. 

"BE GONE!" I yelled and threw the bowls and Mr. Furbo into the lake. I watched in triumph as it slowly sank to the bottom the lake.

"That's right!" I cheered. "You're dead!" I did a sort of victory dance until I almost fell into the lake. 

I returned to the car and we drove away. We were one block away from school, when we heard a voice.

"Me hungry!"

Turning around a dripping wet Mr. Furbo was in the back seat.

"AAAAAAGH!"

"IT WAS DEAD!"

"IT'S A GHOST!"

"IT'S A ZOMBIE!"

We were all flipping out and the car was swerving again. I was about to start screaming like a little girl, but decided it was time for this to be over. I stopped the car, jumped out, grabbed the Furby, threw him in front of the car, got back in, and drove down the road at 120 mph. 

Despite the yells of my comrades, I didn't stop until we heard the satisfying crunch under the tires. 

 

Itona's POV

My god. Terasaka drives like an animal. I think I'm scared of vans now. Very scared. We thought the Furby problem was solved. We were very wrong.

I was walking back from school. It was quiet. There was the sound of a car behind me. I didn't think much of it. Until I was snatched from behind.

Someone grabbed me around my waist and put a hand over my mouth.

"Stay quiet" A voice hissed in my ear.

I started struggling and eventually kicked my captor in the knee. 

"OW!"

The 'ow' sounded familiar.

I turned around to see Terasaka. 

"What are you doing?!"

Terasaka danced around in pain for a minute, then pointed to the backseat window. I looked in. Mr. Furbo was there.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"I know! It just won't die!" Terasaka said. "I need ideas!" I pulled a hammer out of my bag and handed it to him.

"Let's do this" 

We walked over to a big rock and placed Mr. Furbo on it. 

"It's go time!" Terasaka said. Then he yelled like a madman and started hammering the Furby. 

"AAAAAAAAHHH! DIE DIE DIE!" He looked like a crazy person. 

If he put this much effort into killing Koro Sensei, more results would be seen by now.

I was told to dig a hole to put the remains of Mr. Furbo in. We buried him and got the heck out of there.

We were going to Muramatsu's to meet up with him and Yoshida. Then we heard it. "Feed me!"

"NO WAY!"

"IT'S IMMORTAL!"

We ran into the restraunt. Terasaka threw the Furby into a pot of ramen.

"What was that?" Muramatsu asked.

"THE FURBY!"

Muramatsu wasted no time slamming a lid down on the pot and turning the oven up to high.

Ten minutes later Muramatsu opened the Furby flambe. Mr. Furbo was gone.

"AAAAAGH! WHERE IS IT!" we all screamed. 

There was a yell from the entrance. We saw Mr. Furbo dive off the ceiling and onto Yoshida's head. 

There was much screaming and running and whacking at the furby with a pan. (There was an interesting moment when Mr. Furbo ended up down Terasaka's pants)

"AAAAAH! FURBY IN MY PANTS!"

"I'm not getting it out" was all I said.

This lead to Terasaka getting hit in the crotch with a pan. 

"OWWWWWW!"

After the chaos settled down, we stared at the furby on the floor. Time for drastic-er action

 

Terasaka's POV

"Annnd...DIE!"

We pulled the tiny bucket out from under Mr. Furbo. Then the door opened.

"Where have you guys been...what are you doing?"

Hazama reacted quite well to seeing four guys hanging a furby with a tiny noose.

"That's cruel" was all she said before she freed Mr. Furbo from the noose.

"I love you" said Mr. Furbo to Hazama.

With that Mr. Furbo went to live at Hazama's house. But I swear. As she walked away, Mr. Furbo smiled at us!

I'm still terrified of Furbys. Plus i had to get rid of a whole lot of garlic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! This is based off a true story (ish). My friend terrorized me and my other friend with a robot dinosaur that walked towards us, roared at us and didn't die. It bit me. I survived though! I'm also terrified of Furbys so this idea was born. 
> 
> Also, if you liked this fic, My friend Ceannaisteach wrote an assclass fic that's smilier to the style i use. I recommend reading it
> 
> Again, sorry if you don't like Furbys. This was a random chapter. I'm probably the most distracted writer in the universe!
> 
> Anyways, next chapter's coming!


	20. Another mini chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Sorry! I had a brilliant idea and it couldn't wait, so another random chapter. Woooo! 20 chapters! that's awesome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Assassination classroom TV night. And remote battles. Switching POVs again. Terasaka to start out.

It was so on! We were both staring at the priceless piece of treasure. It would be mine! I WILL HAVE THE TV REMOTE!

 

Anyways, I shall tell the tale of the events leading up to this. It all started with Mr. Freak blizzard. It was sunny when I got to school, but by two o clock, it was snowing. And it wasn't stopping. 

I was sneaking some rice balls out of the man purse, cuz I was hungry, and possibly starving. 

"HEY! TERASAKA, NO!" Muramatsu yelled. 

"YES!" I said, but I couldn't escape since my hand was stuck in the bag. If I let go of the rice ball, I could possibly escape, but there was no chance of that.

Muramatsu chased me in a circle around the classroom. It was kinda hard to run with my hand stuck in a heavy man purse, but I managed. Until I tripped over Ritsu.

Muramatsu tackled me and stole my precious rice ball.

"Noooooooo!"

"If you want it so badly, go get it!" I think Muramatsu meant to toss the rice ball a few feet away, but he accidentally tossed it out the window and into the piles of snow. I was not letting a perfectly good rice ball go to waste, so I ran outside. Keep in mind that I had no coat. It was sunny this morning. How was I supposed to know that I was going to go snow diving later.

I started digging like an animal where the rice ball had fallen and sank into the snow. 

I must have dug myself into a snow bank, because I was suddenly sinking. 

I desperately clawed at the the ground but it was no use. My fingers had turned into frozen sausages. So this was it. Death by snow. Ok then. It was a good run. I may have liked to do a few more questionable things, but oh well. If this is my time, SO BE IT!

"GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" I yelled, then accepted my death. 

Then I was yanked out of the snow by a yellow tentacle. 

"You shouldn't play in the snow Terasaka, unless you have some proper snow gear" The octopus said.

"I know!" i said as I was wrapped in a blanket and dropped in my seat. Muramatsu handed me a rice ball. I think he felt bad. 

As I heroically ate my rice ball, i heard Karasuma and Bitch-sensei talking. 

"Hmm. It doesn't seem to be stopping"

"No. And none of the students brought coats. It would be a little harsh. The temperatures are below freezing."

"Are you kidding? Well, we could send Terasaka out. He didn't seem to feel it the first time he dove out there."

The last part was not appreciated. 

I decided to go bug Itona, because he looked like he needed some bugging.

"Hello shrimp"

"Hi"

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, just a little game called, Terasaka doesn't exist."

"That's stupid"

"..."

"Hello?"

"..."

"Itona?"

"..."

"Earth to Itona?"

"..."

"Jupiter to Itona"

"..."

"PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" I snapped. I dumped him out of his chair and took the chair.

"Ok. Give it back. But why did you do that now? I almost got the high score for my game"

"Nope. There is no way you're getting this back." I said, sitting down. "You will have to drag my dead body out of it"

"Ok" Itona said, going back to his desk, pulling out a remote and a little plane. He turned it on and put the little blade very close to my face.

"Last chance to move"

"Uhhhh" Let's face it. I like my face.

I got out of the chair in defeat. "You win Itona. What will you do now?"

"He picked up the chair, brought it back to his desk, spent two whole minutes arranging it just right to annoy me...and came back?

"I notice you're not sitting in the chair?"

"I'm bored."

"So you stand near me?"

"Interesting things happen around you"

"Good or bad?" I had to know.

"Depends on the situation."

"Valid point Itona Horibe. Valid point."

"Uh oh" Kayano was looking out a window.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Then I saw.

The snow was blocking the door. We were snowed in.

"AAAAGH! We're losing oxygen!" I yelled.

"No we're not. Do you even know how snow works?" Itona said.

"Sort of? It's white. And wet. AND THE RICE BALL IS GONE FOREVER!"

"Are you this stupid or purpose or are you really worried about food?"

"Oh, that's right! We're going to starve!"

I think Itona had enough because he went back to his desk and took out his tank.

A few minutes later Koro Sensei made an announcement.

"Children, we seem to be snowed in. While this may seem like an inconvenience, I think this could be a great bonding experience for the class!"

So it was settled. We all had to stay at school. We all did our homework and even got through almost all of tomorrow's lessons. I think Koro Sensei was literally about to give us a math test when somebody finally saw the clock.

"Am I crazy, or is it six thirty at night?" Karma asked.

"Crazy!" I said, but then I looked at the clock. It really was six thirty.

We all started groaning about extra school. 

"I see we're all thoroughly bored." The octopus said. "And you're all probably hungry. I'll be right back. In the meantime, find a way to entertain yourselves."

He flew out the window.

So we were left to "entertain ourselves" what could possibly go wrong?

Well, we all started out being bored, not really doing anything.

"I'm Booooored" I loudly proclaimed. No one acknowledged me, and that pissed me off. 

"Hey Itona, I'm bored." 

"That's nice"

"I've never been this bored before"

"Good for you"

"I think I'm the most bored person in the world."

"Congratulations Terasaka. That's a real achievement. You should go tell someone else."

"You just want me to leave you alone" I said suspiciously.

"I didn't say that"

"I can see it in your eyes"

"I'm not even facing towards you."

I was running out of conversation ideas when Mr. Karasuma made an announcement.

"Alright, everyone listen up! I know you're all bored so you might be happy with this."

He moved aside to show a TV.

"Is this for real?" Okajima asked.

"Of course. Here's the remote. Don't be too loud. I still have work to do." With that he threw the remote at us and left.

We all stared at it. Like it was the holy grail. Ooh! That!

"We should watch the holy grail. The one with Monty Python!" I said.

"Oh no. I'm not watching that crap" Karma said. "The quoting wars will never end."

"Ok then. What do you want to watch?" I asked.

"Hmmm. I vote Bambi."

"That's funny. I was thinking the same thing" Itona said.

"NO!" I yelled. "I don't want to die of the feels."

"Let's just find something that's on now" Nagisa said, trying to avoid conflict.

"Ok" we all said, and flipped on the magic box.

The first channel that was on was the nature channel. 

It was about gorillas...

"Terasaka! You didn't tell us you were on TV!" Karma said, as the gorilla scratched itself in...places.

"Good job buddy." Itona said. "Going on without stage makeup or anything. Natural you"

"And new channel" I said, flushing. The next channel was baseball.

"Ugh. I hate baseball" Itona said.

"But why? You get a big stick!" I said.

"But all you do is run to bases and hit balls."

"It takes a whole lotta work"

"So? it's boring to watch. No injuries or anything"

"You're sadistic. And baseball is wonderful."

"Let me put it into simple terms. It sucks"

"Does not!"

"Does too."

"DOES NOT!"

"Does too."

"DIE IN A WHOLE ITONA! AND LET THE BASEBALL GODS MURDER YOU!"

"No. Baseball still sucks"

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!"

"I hate it."

"But why?"

"It's stupid"

"But why?"

"Ok girls. You can stop now. we're changing the channel" Nakamura said, stopping the potential hour long argument.

"Thank goodness. No more suffering"

Ha! Foolish Itona. I can still make you suffer! Mwahahahaha!

"TAKE ME OUT TO THE BAAAAALL GAAAAME! TAKE ME OUT TO THE CROOOOWD!"

An assortment of items were thrown at my head. It seemed that it wasn't just Itona who was suffering. I decided to shut up.

The next channel that we landed on was a romance movie. The sexy big boobed female was trying to confess her love to the dude with the (no joke) twelve pack. The girls were "aw"ing the the girl stumbled over her words.

"Come on man. Just say it already" I thought. "It's easy..." I looked over at Itona, who had lost all interest in the show. No, it wasn't easy to confess love. Or maybe I was just a huge screw up. Either way, I couldn't take any more of this crap.

"This sucks. I'm switching over." I said. I snatched up the remote and changed the channel, ignoring the "noooo"s from the girls. And then we all wished I never touched to remote.

It was a french film. And there were some interesting activities going on. 

"AAAH!" We all yelled, and quickly switched over to g rated territory, featuring sesame street.

"How's it going..." Bitch Sensei trailed off as she saw what we were watching. "Seriously? I thought you were more grown up than that"

After a whole lot of remote fumbling, we went back to baseball. 

"YEAH!" Me, Sugino, and some other guys cheered. 

Itona, and the girls groaned. 

"Do we have to watch this?" Kataoka asked. 

"I'm dying" Itona said.

"Quit whining. We're watching this" Maehara said. And those were fighting words.

"Is that a challenge? Okano said, getting up.

"Yeah" Maehara said bravely. Then he was tackled. And all hell broke lose. 

The remote went flying into the air. About ten people lunged for it at once. It was girls verses guys as me battled our heads off for the remote. Finally Chiba got it and the sound of baseball filled the air. It didn't last long as Kayano tackled him and turned to the romance movie. 

"Both of these choices suck" I heard Itona say, who hadn't moved from his spot on the floor. 

As Kayano was attacked by Karma and a pillow, the remote fell to the ground and we all formed a dog pile on top of it. Due to all the bodies rolling around on top of it, the remote began to flip randomly through channels. 

Baseball, romance movie, baseball again. Sesame street. "There was a yell of AAAH! As you know what started playing again. Finally we were just rolling on each other and the remote had vanished. It turned out that Itona had it somehow.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!?" I yelled. 

"Magic" Itona said.

Before another fight could break out, Koro Sensei returned with pizza. (Where that came from I have no clue) We spent the rest of the night eating pizza watching an appropriate movie under Koro Sensei's supervision. 

And so ended the remote wars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends the chapter. A couple things to throw out there loyal readers! (Seriously, if you read this far a celebration is in order)
> 
> Thanks to everyone who left a kudos. A big happiness booster for me! Also... THIS STORY IS NOW ON QUOTEV! Actually, it has been for a while along with some other works of mine. I suggest reading it there because on quotev you can add pictures, and I found interesting ones!
> 
> Finally, I know I'm writing a shipping fic, and there has been a sort of lacking in the romance. if you want a more shipping seriousness fic, read the stupid that saves by shadow of a raven.
> 
> Sorry if you were expecting more romance to happen by now. I'll try and turn it in that direction, but I'm more of a humor person. Anyways, sorry if you hate this and Hallelujah if you like it!


	21. Halloween special chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt like doing something halloween-y. So sue me. Sorry that i haven't gotten back to the actual story in a longlonglonglong time, but the good random ideas keep on coming! This chapter is happening in the same time scheme as the other chapters so Itona does have tentacles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haunted house-ness! Yes, I have a weird way of using words. I'm gonna switch POVs, starting with Terasaka! Enjoy!
> 
> While this chapter is fictional, the setting is real! Enjoy! Mwahahahahaha!

" I can't believe we got roped into this"

"In my defense, I like candy" 

"I do too, but is this really necessary?"

Somehow me and Itona were being forced to enter the scariest haunted house in Japan, Fuji-Q, or the haunted hospital. Located at the base of Mt. Fuji, this place is supposed to be one of the best haunted houses on earth. Hey, if you suffer a heart attack, you're already in a hospital! (Full of creepy stuff)

Anyways, Koro Sensei promised a butt-load of candy to a pair of students who could brave a special Halloween challenge. I didn't eat breakfast today, and I forgot my lunch so candy sounded good. I needed a partner so Itona seemed like a good bet. I'm betting he's wishing that he was never born.

According to Koro Sensei's instructions, the Fuji-Q works like this. So the official name of the haunted house is the ghost house. It's supposed to scare you out of your wits and create an aura of "horror harassment" and there's also little doors where you can go into and opt out if you get too scared, but I don't get the candy if I get scared and quit. All the creepy people are professional actors, so not real, but it's gonna be hard to tell. Koro Sensei wrote a history on this place so here it is: 

Reputedly, the haunted house attraction history started from a story of a hospital located at the foot of the Mount Fuji. The hospital was very famous, had lots of professional doctors, and great facilities. But one day, the head and staff of the hospital started to take some fresh organs from the patients who’d come for a surgery…

The fresh organs of the patients were inserted into jars of chemical and sold to distant places while the bodies were put in a large wooden crate. In revenge, the victims’ spirits started haunting and killing the doctors. Finally, the entire hospital was abandoned. This is the urban legend that is still being told among people there.

Plus it's a maze and I'm terrible at mazes so Have fun Terasaka.

"Hey Itona"

"Yeah?" 

"If I die, will you come to my funeral?"

"No because I'm probably going to die too."

So he's as freaked out as I am. Well here we are at the front of the line. Here goes nothing.

We stepped into the house. It wasn't too scary yet. We followed signs, and then BAM! we were in a surgeon's office.

"Jeez" I said quietly. It was scary. Dark and creepy, bloodstains on the floor, broken equipment. It was scary just standing there and nothing had happened yet.

"Sssssswwwwssssss" The weird whispering noise came out of no where."

"Itona, did you hear that" I said in a hoarse whisper. 

"No no no. I refuse to hear anything"

"Ssssssswwwwsssss"

"Oh god. Oh god oh god oh god" Itona ran over and tried the doors.

"They're not real! We're trapped!"

Then we heard it, the soft footsteps coming down the hall.

"It's coming" I hissed.

"That's the door, but whatever's coming is coming through that door" Itona hissed.

AAAAAGH! I hate being scared! especially around someone who will hold it against me! *Cough, Itona, Cough*

I was freaking out. I kept it inside though. It took a lot of effort not to scream at the top of my lungs. 

"Hey Terasaka, your face is turning red" 

"THANKS FOR NOTHING CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!"

"Huh?"

I was losing it. I, Terasaka, was going crazy. So was Itona. He was crouching by the door.

"What are you doing?"

"Listening. I learned how to determine how far away something is by their footsteps when I was, um, Under other employment."

"So how long do we got?" I asked. AAAAAAGH! I'M SO SCARED!"

"About five minutes. We could make a run for it" 

A stupid crazy plan. Yet it was a plan. 

"Let's do it" I said. 

We threw open the door and sprinted down the hall until we found another door and went inside. IT WAS NOT BETTER!

We were in another doctor's office. Jars full of hearts and other gross body parts lined the walls. There was something covered by a sheet laying on the table.

"I want to touch it" I said.

"ARE YOU INSANE!" Itona yelled. 

"Yes! I WANT MY CANDY!"

"I can't look" Itona said, pulling his bandanna over his eyes as I approached the thing.

"We're in a haunted house you idiot! How can you think that touching something in here is a good idea!" he called after me.

"I'm touching it!" I called. "It feels weird!" 

"There's no way you're touching it" Itona said, then pulled the bandanna off his eyes to check.

I was petting the thing like it was a cat.

"STOP TOUCHING IT!" Itona yelled. 

I was about to when a bloody arm reached out from under the tarp and grabbed my arm.

"AAAAAAAAAAGH! I yelled. I started punching the thing. Once it let go, I grabbed Itona and ran. 

"Hey Terasaka" Itona said once we were out of the door. 

"What?"

"Aren't all theses monsters real people dressed up?"

"Oh" I just pummeled a person.

"SORRY!" I yelled. I wasn't about to go back in and formally apologize. 

We slowed to a walk and attempted to catch our breathes. 

"I-I'm so stupid. This is impossible!" I said.

"Oh now you realize." Itona said. 'I'll forgive you if we go through one of those pink rescue doors and get out of this nightmare."

"O-ok" I said. I was scare out of my wits and didn't think I could take anymore. We were just about to go in search of a door, when we saw a person walking down the hall towards us.

"Oh good a person" I said to Itona. "WE'RE LOST!" I called to the person.

"Terasaka" Itona said.

"Not now" I said. "HEY YOU! I SAID WE'RE LOST!"

"Terasaka!" Itona said a little more urgently.

"I said not now. HEY BUDDY! COME HERE!"

"TERASAKA!" Itona said, slapping me.

"OW! What!"

"That's not a person" Itona said, a little too late.

It was a girl, and emphasis on was.

She was bloodstained and missing body parts. 

"OH GOD!" I yelled.

And we took off running. Itona left me in the dust. I forgot how fast he can be when he wants to.

I estimated where he went when I lost sight of him, but soon I was lost.

"ITONA!" I called. I was answered by a ghostly moan

I lost Itona. Or maybe he lost me. I'm not quite sure. But I needed to find him none the less. I heard a ghostly moan and decided to keep running.

And where should I end up? right at a pink safety door.

So I have a choice. Get out of here, or see more horrors to find Itona.

Damn you Itona. You made me care about you.

Itona's POV

I was lost. I'm so stupid. I forgot how slow Terasaka is.

I don't know where I am, and I'm alone.

I'm so freaking screwed. 

This nightmare world was a maze, so the chances of me actually finding Terasaka were unfortunately slim.

I'm going to die. 

No, calm down. I can get out of here. I just need to find that door. I don't care anymore.

It seemed to be darker where I was, and there were no pink doors. 

God I wish Terasaka was with me. 

I can't believe I'm longing for that idiot.

I took a few more turns, feeling lost, and really vulnerable. I hated this feeling I just needed to see one lifesaving door...

No. Oh no. This room was decorated to look like a doctor's office, but it looked too familiar. 

I could feel the new tentacles burning. Oh god. This is too much like it. Just like the room Shiro first injected me in.

Someone get me out of here. 

It was too quiet. I could hear my breathing. It was gradually getting faster. Oh god, am I having a panic attack?

I looked for the door but it seemed to be gone. I was trapped. Trapped and alone. 

I was freaking out and this wouldn't be remotely scary to the average person.

I managed to get a hold on a table so I wouldn't topple over. I needed to get out of here.

I actually managed to see the door, despite the room spinning. I was about to step towards it when out of nowhere a doctor in white reared out at me, needle in hand.

It was too much. I blacked out.

Terasaka's POV

"Where did you go?  
Where did you go?  
You were right here just a moment ago!  
I'm a'walkin' through the mall  
I'm a'walkin' real tall  
I'm findin' help right here  
I'll betcha mom's real scared"

I was singing my lost song. I learned it as a small child, and I don't care how awful I sound. It relaxes me.

"Mom's probably just runnin' behind  
She'll do better next time I find the lady at the counter  
And I speak real clear  
"I need some HELP!"  
I'm gonna stick around here

Mom's probably just runnin' behind  
She'll do better next time"

Were those footsteps? No Terasaka. Focus on your song.

"I'm in a ballpark  
And it's gettin' kinda darkI yell for Dad real loud  
I might even draw a crowd

Dad's probably just runnin' behind  
He'll do better next time

I can find a mom with kids  
I'll be glad if I did  
Ah! a security guard  
That wasn't very hard  
Dad's probably just runnin' behind  
He'll do better next time"

I gotta find Itona. I'm....worried about him

"So if your parents get lost  
It's your turn to be the boss  
I'll be walkin' real tall  
And in no time at all  
They'll be laughin' and cryin'  
They showed up in no time

They'll be laughin' and cryin'  
They showed up in no time"

I decided to switch up the lyrics, to match my scenario.

""Where did you go?  
Where did you go?  
You were right here just a moment ago!  
I'm a'walkin' through the creepy haunted maze  
I'm a'walkin' in a daze  
I'll find Itona I swear,  
I bet he's probably not scared"

I miss him, and it hasn't even been fifteen minutes. 

"ITONA!" I yelled. "WHERE ARE YOU!"

Yeah, that was stupid, but hey, I needed to find him. 

"Itona-chan?" I whispered. I know he hates it when I call him that, but if he's going to call me Harambe, I can get away with it. 

And then I had a brilliant idea. We both had our phones. I COULD TEXT HIM! Am I genius or what?

ME: Hey Itona-chan, where are you?

ME: Itona?

ME: R u there?

ITONA: Is this the friend of the owner of this phone?

ME: Huh? Yes?

ITONA: This isn't Itona. I'm an official working for the ghost house. Your friend had a panic attack and passed on

ME: WHAT!

ITONA: Sorry, I meant passed out.

ME: Is this for real?

ITONA/OR NOT ITONA: Yes. I'm sending a guide to bring you to him

ME: Ok?

I was freaking out. Itona had a panic attack? That's...

"OW!"

A flashlight beam hit me in the face, blinding me.

"Are you Terasaka?" A female voice asked.

"Who wants to know?" I asked, even though I saw the label on the gal's shirt that said staff.

I followed her through the maze and to a pink door. A zombie came out and I prepared for the worse, but all the guide said was, "Looking good"

The zombie gave her a thumbs up and we went through the door.

It was bright in there. I thought I had walked into heaven for a moment.

I walked into a coat rack as my eyes adjusted.

"Stupid idiot" a familiar voice said.

"ITONA!" I said happily, and hugged the bastard for all I was worth.

"I can't breathe" he mumbled into my chest.

I still hugged him. When I finally released him, he gave me the "Stupid Terasaka look" which I'm actually finding to be cute.

"Well, are we going or not?" Itona asked, pointing towards the door back to the maze.

"Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I was only out for two minutes. Besides..."

A faint blush spread across his cheeks. "It wasn't so bad, I can take it."

"Well let's go!" I said. "I doubt anyone will ever know we were in here! The candy shall be ours!"

"Uh yeah. About that..."

"No one needs to know" 

"Thanks"

"Any time Itona-chan"

"Don't call me that."

 

Itona's POV

"And that makes twenty snickers bars!" the idiot crowed. 

"Yeah. 18 for me, 2 for you" I replayed.

"Fine. Then I get all fifty packages of M and Ms." Terasaka said, pulling all the candy close to him like a small child. 

We made it out of the ghost house in one piece. Terasaka refused to leave until he tracked down the doctor creep and punched him in the face, which he did. I have to admit, it was very satisfying to watch him slam the guy.

The only issue was that there were only five twix bars, and Terasaka seemed to have his eye on them. I know this because he was like, "Don't even think about it" when I looked in the general direction of the candy.

I made my choice and stole them.

"HEY!" He yelled and tackled me.

"Come on! Just let me have em'" I said, as Terasaka pinned me. I hate being small.

He just smiled wickedly and pulled my bandanna over my eyes. It's become a sort of "blind the shrimp' tactic in his stupid head. God, did I just call myself a shrimp? I'm spending too much time around Terasaka...

My train of thoughts was shattered by something sweet stuffed into my mouth? I tasted chocolate. A twix? I felt the unbearable weight of Terasaka get off of me and I regained my vision. 

I saw the flash of a twix wrapper disappear into Terasaka's pocket. 

"Look who learned to share!"

"I thought your blood sugar would be low" Terasaka said. 

"Thanks?"

"Is it wrong for me to care bout' you Itona-Chan?"

"Stop calling me that"

"Itona-chan Itona-cha Itona-Chaaaaaaan!"

I got my revenge. Guess who wore a gorilla mask for Halloween?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU LIKE THIS? Hopefully. Happy halloween guys! hope you enjoyed. I'm going to try and ship things more and give truth to the legends. Terasaka has a heart! 
> 
> So hope you liked this and have a great halloween wherever you are. and if u read this and it's not halloween, have a good day, night, afternoon, morning, time!
> 
> Next chapter will be part of the actual plot, and google Fuji-Q ghost house if you want to hear more about this haunted house! Until next time guys!


	22. How everything changed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My excuse, I'm a very spacey person and get bored of things sometimes. I know I should have just sucked it up and finished this, but I got good ideas. This is the same plot but it's a little different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope you guys are still liking this, One more thing before I start. Remember Ceann Aisteach's fanfic, her name is rio, that you should totally read? well there's some awesome ItonaxTerasaka in there if you wanna check that out fellow shippers! This fic and that one are kind of co-existing, so i might put some refrences to that in chapters to come, and i'm hoping there will be more itonaxterasaka from Cean Aisteach. 
> 
> For one shot at it, she's good. 
> 
> Anyways Itona's POV for this chapter for those of you who are still reading this

That. Stupid. Idiot. THAT STUPID BLOODY IDIOT! 

I can't believe he would do that. I...I just can't! 

We were onstage, we were in public, AAAAAAAAH!

I was sitting at home. It was a Saturday, the day after the play. And, you know, internally dying because of what happened last night. During the play. With Terasaka. 

It hurts to think about it, but I'm going to have to if I'm going to figure this out. 

Ok, here we go.

That look in his eye, reaching for me...

WAIT STOP! Jeez. This hard...I guess I could start as the beginning.

 

The play had been going quite well, hardly any problems at all surprisingly. I should of known something would get crazy that involved me. 

It was the final scene. The one where Terasaka was "dying" 

The princess I was playing was supposed to kiss him, but we settled for faking it, so everything was ok.

It came to that part, so yadda yadda, I was totally ready to fake it when...

AAHAHAHAHA! I just can't! I can't! That stupid stupid...

My phone dinged signalling the arrival of a text. It just had to be him.

 

TERASAKA: Itona?

ME: Shut up and stop texting me

TERASAKA: Come on. Don't be that way

ME: Why not? You know what you did

TERASAKA: Yeah. I do. 

ME: Do you regret it.

TERASAKA: There are two ways that I could answer you. I could say what you want to hear, or I could tell you the truth.

ME: so?

TERASAKA: I don't want to lie to you

ME: No! Stop! I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone!

TERASAKA: Ok. Just one more thing

ME: What?

TERASAKA: You're still me friend

ME: I think you meant my

TERASAKA: Oh wait! Stupid auto cucumbers!

TERASAKA: Cucumbers!

TERASAKA: I meant correct. Jeez

 

I can't believe this! He's still acting like..like an idiot! 

As I layed on my bed, I couldn't stop the flashbacks.

 

Everything was chill, I wasn't expecting anything. And then he goes and does it.

I'm yanked off my feet and everyone backstage is gasping.

Because he's kissing me. For real.

I couldn't move. He was holding me down and I sort of just went limp. He finally released me and it's a good thing I didn't have any lines because I was speechless. And He says his lines and stuff

And the bastard is smiling like he just won 30,000,000,000 yen.

I couldn't walk. I was frozen. He lead me to take our bows and such. And then he...he...

My phone dinged again. It was Hazama this time.

 

HAZAMA: You ok Itona?

ME: No

HAZAMA: You know Terasaka is just an idiot right? Don't worry bout it. 

ME: But I used to like that idiot

HAZAMA: I know. He grows on you after a while

ME: But why? 

HAZAMA: I call it the idiot magnet. We like to make ourselves look better by being around him

ME: Yeah

HAZAMA: I'm going to let you chill out. If you need anything just text me

ME: Thx. I will

 

And my phone was silent. 

And I forcefully flashed back again. You stupid idiot. Why oh why oh why?

He lead me over to center stage to take bows and such, we did. Then...I don't know. I was still kind of dead from earlier so I didn't feel his arms around my waist. And then he pulls me to him and kisses me full on, right under the spotlight.

The entire class was shocked and the audience was cheering. I wanted to die. 

He even said to me, "Romance is fun huh?" It. Was. So. Stupid!

My phone buzzed again. It turned out that Yoshida, Muramatsu and Terasaka were texting. I acessed the group text and let them know what needed to be said right now.

 

ME: SHUT UP WORLD! 

MURAMATSU: Woah, ok. We're just worried about you

ME: Ok. Sorry. I'm just losing it

YOSHIDA: Take it from me, Terasaka is no one important. If you ignore nasty things, the go away

TERASAKA: I'M RIGHT HERE YOU KNOW! >:( >:(

HAZAMA: You heard him. Shut up and stop bothering him

ME: Yes. An intelligent person. What a rare sighting

 

I don't know if it was the smart ass comment, or Hazama, but everyone shut up.

Until Terasaka started texting me

TERASAKA: I'm not going away no matter how much you ignore me

ME: Fuck off 

TERASAKA: No. I know you're pissed off but hear me out

ME: ...

TERASAKA: Listen, I don't want to say too much here because of hackers and stuff

ME: Wuss

TERASAKA: I want to keep you as a friend. You mean a lot to me

ME: Stop it. You sound intelligent

TERASAKA: I know you probably hate me, but please don't push me away

ME: ?

TERASAKA: I need my shrimp

ME: SERIOUSLY!?

TERASAKA: Yes :)

ME: I am not a crustacean! 

TERASAKA: shrimps are not crustaceans

ME: Yes they are

TERASAKA: No they aren't

ME: Yes they are

TERASAKA: And I'm off to google. But please, can you not ignore me tomorrow

ME: Maybe. You just confused me

TERASAKA: Do u want to talk tomorrow?

ME: Yeah

And that ended our conversation

I don't believe this. Now that I've thought about it more, it's not that's painful to think about.

I'm scared.

He was my friend, my best friend, he saved my life, maybe I once had feelings for him that I shoved away, but...

Yeah we need to talk.

And I googled. Shrimp are crustaceans. 

I win. 

But do I?

My life is killing me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how did I do trying to get things a little more romantic? I think I did ok. Maybe? Feedback is appreciated and again I'm sorry for not getting back on the plot sooner. 
> 
> See ya guys! :) :3


	23. How I survived the mystical art of conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward conversation, I'm gonna add more romance, but still try to make it funny like my other chapters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're all still enjoying this. It's almost been six months since i started this!

I was having a panic attack. Sort of. I was only going to school! Freaking school so why was I so nervous! 

God, I really am an idiot if I don't know.

Itona.

I don't know why I did what I did on the night of the play. All I know is that I made him pissed. I think. He really didn't talk to me.

Well, that's a lie too. I do know why I did it. I've been crushing on Itona since I first met him. 

Even when he had the tentacles and was all creepy, I did find him cute. And now that I've actually gotten to know him, I was seriously head over heels. 

I've never been into girls, but never really found a guy I liked either, but stuff changes apparently. I want to talk to him, I want to confess, but I act even stupider. It's not that I get nervous, but it shocks my system when I'm around him...

I'm not making sense right now either. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I like Itona.

A lot. 

I wasn't kidding when I said that I wanted to go through with the whole love boot camp thing. I really really wanted to try and understand why I liked him, and since then my feelings have only grown. 

I guess I'm getting serious. Yet, I can't seem to actually say a word of how I actually feel. I hate myself. So so so much.

I walked into a door. Ow.

As I layed there thinking about life SOME IDIOT STEPPED ON ME!

"Good morning Terasaka" Karma said, smirking down at me"

"WHY DOESN'T THE WHOLE WORLD STEP ON ME!" 

"Ok" a new voice said. Rio Nakamura stepped on me! 

"HEY!" I swear that she and Karma are going to get together at some point. They'd better. I bet twenty bucks.

I layed on the floor for another two minutes before I decided not to become a carpet. 

And then...boring school happened. It was weird today though. It seemed that everything had lost its interesting-ness. We attempted to kill Koro Sensei, we did math, we drew blaster guns, (Well I did anyways. I was supposed to be doing math. It didn't matter. My blaster gun looked like a deformed hot dog anyways.)

And then a special new subject called project. Every year our school does projects on some random crap and me and Itona were paired up to do a project on electronics. I hadn't thought about this in a long time. 

One on one with Itona. I'M FREAKIN' OUT! Ok, I did say that we would talk but, OH GOD! It's gonna be so awkward and...

A notebook hit me in the face. 

"HEY!"

I looked around for the person who would dare pull me from my freaking out. Itona was scribbling in another note book innocently. Too innocently. 

I dropped the notebook on his desk. "Lose something?" 

"Hang on. I'm tallying my points"

"For what?"

"I unlocked a new achievement. Hit an idiot in the face with a notebook"

"SO IT WAS YOU!"

"All I need to do now is hit an idiot in the face with a marker, a pencil, a shoe, a sandwich, a chair, and a desk"

"I gotta be more careful around you."

AAAAAGH! HE WAS ACTING NORMAL! WHY??"

"So, shall we?" I said gesturing towards the door.

"Ok then"

THAT WAS SO WEIRD! I ACTED NORMAL!!!

"Hey Terasaka" 

"Yes" I said, preparing for the worst

"Do you remember what time this class ends"

I relaxed.

"10:20. I'm very observant" I chose that moment to strike a heroic pose.

"Hey Mr. Observant?"

"Yes?"

"Your fly is down"

So it was. I probably can't call myself observant anymore. 

"You couldn't of just told me!" I snapped.

"And miss the chance to be cruel to you? Never" 

We stayed quiet for a few minutes. I knew someone had to bring the dreaded topic up, and it might as well be me. Here it goes.

"Hey Itona?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you know that you can order a roast turkey online?"

WHAT WAS THAT! Stupid stupid stupid! Turkeys!? Well I am hungry...

"Uh, what?" Itona said in response to my stupid fact. Now's the time to actually talk. Away we go!

"Yeah. You order it and it arrives at your door in fifteen minutes flat. But sometimes its missing the drum stick."

WHAT THE HELL! WHAT AM I SAYING!

"I like wishbones"

STOP TALKING! WHY CAN'T I STOP TALKING!

"And purple whales are cool"

Ok, I need to stop. I'm no longer making sense.

"Do you like toaster snails?"

And I have officially lost control of my mouth. 

"Say what?" Itona asked, looking at me.

And I'm screwed.

"Can you stop thinking about toaster whatevers and think about cross wires?"

Well both of those things make no sense.

"Yeah sure" I said and turned my attention to the little black and red wires. I had no idea what to do, so I started twisting them around. At least I stopped talking.

"So Terasaka" Itona spoke up. 

"Yeah" I asked nervously.

"Do you know what you're doing with those wires?" Itona asked. 

"Of course!" I replied. I had successfully tied them in a bow around my wrist. A few minutes later I had made a little chain out of wires and hung them over my head and over a near by rock. I didn't stop there and basically became wire Rapunzel until I crossed that fine line...

"Hey Itona"

"Mmhmm?"

"Help"

I had tied my arms down and my legs to that rock. I also had a crown of wires on my head that draped down like hair. 

"What did you do?" 

"Used the wires?"

"Yeah no."

After fifteen minutes of Untangling Terasaka, I became impatient and attempted to free myself in the middle of Itona attempting to free me. That ended up getting him tied to me. 

"So..." I said awkwardly. 

"Yeah..." Itona responded, just as awkwardly. 

It was hard to have a serious conversation when we were tied together.

"You're an idiot" Itona said.

"And your an idiot for trusting me with wires"

"You're in junior high!"

Time for a snappy response. 

"Remember the play!?"

WHAT? NOW I TALK ABOUT THAT?

"How could I forget" Itona mumbled. 

"Uh, we should talk about what happened" I said.

"Whatever you say Einstein."

"Uh, remember the part where I kissed you?"

"Are you serious?! Of course I remember!"

My face felt like it was on fire. Itona looked as red as I felt.

"Ah, that was my own choice"

"This is coming from the guy who thought eating uncooked macaroni was a good meal"

"Uh, yeah"

Don't lose confidence! Keep going.

"Toaster snails are nice" 

NO! STOP! BACK ON TOPIC!

"Listen" Itona said. "Can things just go back to you being an idiot and me calling you an idiot?"

Well it's nice to know that the norm revolves around my idiocy. 

"Yeah sure!" I said. 

"Ok good. I was afraid you were...never mind"

And that was the end of that conversation. I wanted to slap myself. WHY DID I AGREE! I DON'T WANT THE NORM! I want...more. 

But, stupid Itona made me rethink a bit. Who am I kidding. I'm too hungry to think. Time for uncooked macaroni.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know that this chapter is long overdue and short but I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and i promise that I will sit down and write for real. I encourage you to reread chapter 16 if you can't wait for more (It's my favorite chapter and i can't read it without laughing) See you guys later! :)


	24. How we had the stupidest Christmas EVER!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a little Christmas special I thought of. Hope you all enjoy and happy holidays!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka's POV. This isn't part of the actual story, just another side chapter. Also, be warned! There's a lot of talking in this chapter.

"DecK tHe HAAlls WitH bOws of HollYYY!" I sang at the top of my lungs as I indeed, decked some halls. My house has many halls so I have an entire guest bedroom dedicated to storing my many Christmas supplies. It was sort of too much for one man, and there was no way I could move the giant Santa on my own so I texted Itona.

Me: It is time for Giant Santa to awaken!!! Come help him! 

ITONA: What?

ME: Giant Santa summons thee!

ITONA: Again, what? 

ME: GIANT SANTA!!!

ITONA: I have no idea what you're talking about

ME: Come here and bow to Giant Santa

ITONA: You could have just told me to come over in the first place...

ME: HOHOHO!

ITONA: ......................................

 

He did come over, but he refused to bow to Giant Santa. After three straight hours of hardcore decorating, we decided to take a Christmas cookie break.

"These look good" he said, examining one. "Where'd you buy them?" 

"I made them" I said proudly. 

"Am I going to get poisoned if I eat these?" Itona asked skeptically. 

"No! Just eat it!" I said. 

"If I get poisoned, you're going to die" he said before taking a bite. I wish I had a camera. The look on his face was priceless. 

"Oh my god" he said, taking another bite. "Sooooo good!" 

"Poisoned, he said" I said grinning. 

"I didn't know you could cook" Itona said.

"Well I..."

"I mean, I REALLY didn't know you could cook. I thought you were one of those people who couldn't go near the oven without disaster striking..."

"I get it!" I said, cutting him off. "Long story short I aced home economics before you showed up"

"That's cool" Itona said, taking a second and third cookie. 

Another long story short, the great cookie wars broke out for a minute. After Itona kicked my ass in cookie stealing, we went back to decorating, until Giant Santa was the only thing left to put up. 

"And how do you expect we move that thing?" Itona asked, looking at the ten foot awesomeness that was Giant Santa. 

"Uh, I don't know, I thought you would know." I said, earning an 'idiot' from Itona. 

It took about 45 minutes to move Giant Santa. We had no good ideas until we got one of those Fed X thingys they use to move boxes out of my attic. (Why that was there I have no clue.) We shoved Giant Santa onto it and just prayed that the wheely thingy wouldn't break.

And Itona totally ditched me and I had to wheel Giant Santa to his spot by myself, because Itona "didn't want to" so I decided on a little revenge. 

"Off you go!" I announced. "Guess who gets to put up decorations on the roof!" 

"Muramatsu?" he asked. "No, YOU!!" I said. So I sent him up to the roof with some light up reindeer. I was totally calm by the fire inside, but Itona texted me. 

ITONA: I think I'm catching pneumonia. 

 

I should of ignored him, but I felt guilty and soon joined him on the roof. Believe it or not, he did a pretty good job with the reindeer.

"Hey! You still have three more reindeer!" I said. 

"You can do it! I'm freezing!"

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's COLD?!"

I don't know why but I started cracking up and soon Itona was too. And then I almost fell off the roof, which only made Itona laugh harder, and then he almost fell off the roof. I actually ended up catching him. If my neighbors looked out the window, they would see two junior high boys standing on a roof holding each other. It's a good thing they didn't look because it would seem pretty weird.

The two of us stood there shivering, until Itona actually leaned closer. 

"Ahhh. You're nice and warm" he said, snuggling closer to me. I didn't know how on earth I was warm, but it was nice cuddling with him. Eventually we remembered that we were on a roof, and we went inside. I was hoping Itona would cuddle with me again, but he went back to his lone wolf routine.

He's too good at playing hard to get

I basically survive on attention, so I went outside, got a snowball and threw it. My aim was strangely perfect and it hit him in the face.

I needed to yell something out loud, so I yelled this. "HO HO HO!!" 

"Wha..Wait what?" Itona said, totally confused. It didn't last long. He opened a window, scooped some snow off the window sill, and threw it at me. An all out snow war broke out in my living room for about fifteen minutes. 

I was hiding behind a chair, where I thought it was safe, but Itona totally snuck up on me and stuffed snow down my shirt.

"AHHHHHHH!" I yelled, and started jumping around the room, trying to shake it out. My jumping made it worse and the snow leaked into my pants. my jumping evolved into a weird, 'snow in my pants' dance. 

Itona was cracking up, which was kind of a rare sight. 

I managed to dance up the stairs to change my pants. When I came back downstairs, Itona had discovered more cookies. 

"Hey!" I said. 

"Who did you expect was going to eat these?" Itona asked. 

"Me!"

"Oh. That's to bad. It doesn't seem like you'll be getting any"

"Hey! where's your Christmas...sense of sharing!" 

"That's not a thing"

" JUST SHARE!"

After lots and lots of begging and whining, he did share, and before I knew it, we were watching a Christmas movie marathon. It was pretty quiet until Itona's comments about the fact that the abominable snowman resembled me. After that, more silence. 

For some reason I decided to try and get a little bit closer. That resulted in me falling off the couch, and trying to act like I meant to do it. 

For about five minutes Itona used me as a foot rest, but then he came down on the floor to sit next to me. Soon he was leaning against me again. I was a little surprised so I said "What the heck are you doing?"

"You're nice and warm" 

"You were cold?"

"Not any more" 

The last movie concluded an Itona went home. The holiday season continued on, and soon it was Christmas eve. I didn't want to be alone so I started texting Itona.

ME: IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!

ITONA: YOU KNOW THE NAME OF A HOLIDAY :) 

ME: Whatever. Do you wanna come over?

ITONA: Huh?

ME: Come over. No one should be alone on a holiday.

ITONA: I don't know

ME: I SUMMON THE ITONA!!!

ITONA: Jeez, I'm coming

ME: the summoning worked!

 

He came over and we had what can only be described as, a nice holiday.

A nice holiday, until the most awful crisis EVER.

It started with this.

"Hey Terasaka, why did you hang plants on the ceiling?"

"Mm?" Looking up, I saw a crap ton of mistletoe that I forgot that I hung.

"OH NO!!"

"What?!"

"WE'RE STANDING UNDER MISTLETOE!!"

"Uh, Ok. That's nice."

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS???!!!"

"That your afraid of plants?"

"THAT WE BOTH NEED TO KISS SOMEONE NOW OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!!"

"Suffer what? The curse of the mistletoe?"

"YES!!"

"Ooh! Scary" 

"TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY!!"

I admit to hanging mistletoe everywhere on purpose, but I should have known Itona would have put up a fight. 

"WE NEED TO KISS SOMEONE NOW!!"

"Ok, ok. I will" 

I was feeling like a genius, because we were the only two people in the room, but Itona totally surprised me by picking up a passing cat, and kissing it!

"You just kissed a cat"

"Yeah. I'm safe from "the curse of the mistletoe" 

DAMMIT!!!

"But you still need to kiss someone"

"Yes! I do!!"

"Here. Have a cat" 

So I made out with a cat.

After the great mistletoe crisis, we watched TV, until eleven. 

"Hey, Itona said, poking me in the arm.

"Ow"

"That did not hurt"

"It did too!"

"Whatever. I got you a present."

"Really?"

"Sure. Even dumb animals deserve treats."

"Oh thanks"

"Just stay here"

He left and came back with a wrapped box. 

"Here"

"Oh, do you want me to roll over first?"

"Sure. Go right ahead" 

After I rolled over, he gave me the present.

"Should I open it?"

"Open a present? Hmm. Do people do that?"

"Ok, ok"

I opened it, and it was a gorilla suit. 

"Gee thanks"

"Unfold it you idiot"

I did, and there were about fifty coupons to my favorite restraunt.

"Jesus Itona! Where'd you get these?"

"They were handing them out in my hotel lobby. You should have seen the look on the clerk's face when I took all of them"

So Itona basically gave me free food, which is one of the best presents EVER!!

"I got you something to" I said.

"Ok"

"Do you want me to get it?"

"If you want"

"Ok, close your eyes"

"Why?" 

"I didn't wrap it" 

I made sure his eyes were closed before getting up and running to get the present. I tripped over a chair and knocked some stuff over on the way"

"OW!"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Fine! Keep your eyes closed!"

With my leg nerves screaming, I returned with the present. 

"Ok, open your eyes"

"What's the magic word?"

"ABRACADABRA!!"

"Seriously?"

"Alakazam? Shazam?"

"oh dear lord"

"Hmmm...OH PLEASE!"

"Took you long enough" Itona said, opening his eyes.

The present wasn't much. It was just a solid black bandanna that I saw in a store, but Itona seemed genuinely happy with it. 

After that we watched more TV, and eventually went to bed. I convinced Itona to stay over so he took over a guest room. And it was a silent night until...

3: AM

"ITONA! I HEARD SOMETHING! I THINK IT WAS SANTA!"

"SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" 

Ha! There is no sleeping while evil planning. I'm totally gonna ambush Itona with mistletoe tomorrow, and make my curse of the mistletoe story more scary. How will it go?

It'll take a Christmas miracle to go perfectly. 

Merry Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays everyone! Hope you enjoyed!


	25. How things got weirder yet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More awkwardness! And fish!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got long fast! If you're actually still reading you deserve something special! Like a steak!! I'm hungry...

So it was about five P.M when I got the weirdest text from Terasaka.

 

TERASAKA: Hi I'm good Can't talk now hot potato soup sap pine tree Christmas stocking socks

ME: What the heck?

 

And the reply I got back was weirder

 

TERASAKA: Creepy toes I love them hooray for pie

ME: Are you high or something

 

After the "Toaster snails" incident, This could be the new norm for Terasaka, and now I can't get him out of my head. All that normal talking when I really just wanted to say three words.

Kiss me again.

Maybe I enjoyed it, Maybe i want it to happen again, maybe I'm giving into my feelings for Terasaka...BUT IT'S TERASAKA!!! I need to talk to him, tell him how I feel...

Yet I have no courage whatsoever and I don't want to lose him as a friend. 

Pain. Always at the corners of my world and i could feel it clearly now. Apparently the tentacles get more active with emotion. Well there's been a lot of that lately. Also, I thought these new tentacles were supposed to be painless. Well let's tell that to the migraines, shall we?

I had nothing better to do so I texted Terasaka again. 

 

ME: I'm bored. Entertain me

TERASAKA: Ignore those last texts. Do u wanna come over? You could entertain me

ME: whatever. I'm lonely

 

Wait! I didn't mean to text that! I mean, I thought that but...

 

TERASAKA: Aww really? U can come over anytime u know. 

 

Well that made me feel warm and fuzzy.

 

TERASAKA: And what are you doing? Get down here!

ME: Ok ok. I'm coming

 

One long bus ride later I arrived at Fort Terasaka (As he commands I call it) The door was unlocked so I went in and dodged some cats. (They're getting so big!) I heard a weird banging noise so I went upstairs. It turned out to be Terasaka in his room. I guess he didn't hear me because he kept on talking to himself.

"Alright Terasaka" he said to himself in the mirror. "You are a confident guy! You can totally talk to Itona, He probably won't murder you, Uhhhhhh, you have a nice haircut..."

He trailed up and slammed his head against the wall.

"I'm an idiot! I'm talking about snails! AAAAGH!"

It was nice to hear him admit his true nature, anyways I didn't want him to get a concussion (It turns out I care about him) so I walked back downstairs and rang the doorbell. 

"WHO GOES THERE!? Oh yeah, Itona. DOWN IN A SECOND!" 

He's such an idiot. I love that about him.

About two minutes later the unlocked door was opened. (Apparently he didn't know it was unlocked and locked and unlocked the door for a few minutes. After I was let into the house, I got this text.

TERASAKA: Hi Goodbye Can't talk now See you tomorrow Monday Tuesday Friday

"Will you stop texting me?" I said.

"I don't have my phone..." he started, then ran off into the kitchen.

"YOU THERE! STOP!"

He charged out of the kitchen chasing a cat who had Terasaka's phone in his mouth. (This was the cat named Terasaka the Great)

"The cat learned to text?" I asked smirking. 

"He's smart! He bears the name Terasaka!" 

"Didn't think that was the first name to be associated with smart" 

"Oh shut up. Come here. I need help"

I followed him into the kitchen. 

"Here. Hold the trout" he handed me a raw fish that was almost taller then me.

 

You know you're short when the random fish in your friend's house are taller then you. Wait, what?

"Now to subdue the cat." Terasaka said, taking the giant fish. "FOR MY PHONE!!!!!!" 

I watched as the idiot charged off into his house with a giant fish. How did my life get so crazy and weird? and wonderful. 

"ITONA HELP! THERE'S ANOTHER FISH IN THE ICE BOX! JOIN ME IN THE FISH WAR!!"

When in Rome...

 

So two minutes later I joined Terasaka with a giant fish. And five minutes later we were slapping each other with giant fish. 

I LOVE MY WEIRD LIFE!! And maybe the guy that made it this weird.

 

Three days later I was still contemplating. The fish escapade seemed to prove that things actually weren't too weird between me and Terasaka. 

And I've decided that this is only a phase and that me and Terasaka will only ever be friends, no matter what my crazy brain says.

Then my phone dinged. 

 

TERASAKA: want to come over and do something stupid?

ME: What? Do something stupid? when have we ever done anything like that before?

TERASAKA: There's that sense of sarcasm that I love so much

 

WHY DID HE HAVE TO USE THE L WORD!

 

TERASAKA: I was thinking of lighting a mattress on fire. 

ME: What?

 

WHY IS HE SO STUPID! WHY DO I LIKE THAT SO MUCH!!!!

 

TERASAKA: Is it weird that I want to see a burning mattress?

ME: Hell yes. 

TERASAKA: Stop judging me and come see the wonderful sight of a burning mattress! 

ME: Hell no

TERASAKA: Please! I will love you foreverandeverandeverandever if you light stuff on fire with me

 

WHAT? It's only an expression. BUT WILL HE? It's an expression. He doesn't really love you. BUT WHAT IF I WANT HIM TO

AHH! Shut up brain! I don't want him to love me! I...I...

 

I'm gonna go light stuff on fire. That'll clear my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Itona in denial! Hope you enjoyed! I'm sooooo sorry! I haven't updated in forever but I'm gonna update real soon for you all!


	26. How I scared myself with a mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 26! Hoo boy! Anyways, I'm back again! Can't really explain this chapter. It's gonna be random!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really surprised if you've read all the way through this! Anyways, if there's something random you want to see happen, comment! I'm always happy for requests!

If my life was a reality T.V show, it would be awesome! Sure it would be pointless, a bunch of random stupid stuff that no one would ever really watch, But hey! Also I would probably get a bunch of angry letters telling me to level up the romance in my life, and get some sense into my head. But screw all that! I think I just asked Itona out on a date and I'm freaking out! (Does asking him to light stuff on fire with me count?)

So tonight on the Terasaka's life show, KARATE IN THE HOUSE!!!!

(So what if I'll break everything? This calms me down!)

Terasaka bravely approaches his opponent, THE UGLY CABINET! Many a year, the ugly cabinet has made the room look ugly, and the brave valiant Terasaka has decided that the ugly cabinet's rein shall end! Dun dun dunnnn!

Terasaka bows to his opponent, takes the customary ten steps back and...

HIIIII YAAAAAAAH! Wow! Look at that incredible jump kick! The ugly cabinet's wood has been splintered, but Terasaka is nowhere close to finished! He jumps again! He trips over nothing! He falls face first into the cabinet!

Good lord, this game is starting to hurt. 

He falls on the cabinet. The cabinet is unable to support Terasaka's awesome weight and falls over! KABAM! It falls over and breaks completely! Terasaka stands up triumphantly! He does a victory dance...OW! SPLINTER! OW OW OW OW! SPLINTER! I HAVE A SPLINTER! MEDIC! I'M DYING! 

Terasaka dramatically dies on the floor, and then gets up to get a sandwich. That concludes tonight's programming.

OH MY GOD! I HAVE A SPLINTER!!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWWWW! 

I love being dramatic over injuries.

"SPLINTEEEERRRR!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. A light flicked on at the neighbor's house so I might have been overdoing it.

So I went to bed and had a dream about a raging infection caused by a splinter. 

"AGGGEEGYAAAAAAGYEEEEEAHHH!" I yelled what I guess is my raging infection scream. Thankfully my splintered hand wasn't green with polka dots and swollen to the size of my face. 

Right! I have a date with fire! And Itona. 

 

We met up in the customary abandoned parking garage. Perfect for burning stuff.

"I can't believe we're doing this" Itona said.

"I can" I said, then attempted to laugh coolly, but it sounded like "HAAAAAAHAAAAAhahahahahahaHAAAAAAAHohohohohohohoHEEEEHEEEEHAAAAAAA!" 

"Take a breath there" Itona said like I had just grown an extra head. "Are we gonna burn crap or what?"

"BURN CRAP" was my answer. 

So we burned a bunch of random crap for two hours until we almost got permanent lung damage from smoke.

"Terasaka *cough* *cough*"

"Yeah? *cough* *cough* *cough*"

"I think we *cough* over did it *cough cough* with the hairspray *cough cough cough*"

"I know *Cough cough*"

"*Cough cough cough*"

And so we went to my house before we passed out from smoke. 

 

"We need something to do"

"Something equally stupid?" Itona asked. 

"You know it!"

So I googled stupid stuff to do. Ignoring all the crap about drugs and kissing a mongoose I settled on wrestling a anaconda piranha hybrid until Itona told me I was the stupidest person he'd ever met.

So i found something different. And much worse. 

"Let's do this" I said, showing Itona my phone. "It's a game"

"Bloody Mary? This doesn't sound sketchy at all" Itona said, rolling his eyes.

The rules of the game were simple. You stood in a bathroom and flicked the lights on and off while saying Bloody Mary's name three times. Then you wait for her to appear. If you see her, you make a wish. If you don't she steals your soul. 

FUN!

 

So there me and Itona stood in the master bathroom with a candle. 

"Ok. Now to light the candle." I said. "OW! I burned myself. Take two! OW! Again! Third time's the charm! OWOWOWOWOW!!"

"May I?" Itona said, taking the candle and lighting it on his first try. (Show off)

"Alright then. Here we go." I said. I noticed that Itona moved a little closer to me.

"Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!" we chanted. Then the lights went off and refused to come back on. 

"Terasaka" Itona said, voice shaking. "This was a horrible idea"

"I tried the doorknob but it wouldn't open!" I yelled. 

"Oh god" Itona said, burying his face in my chest. Suddenly this didn't seem so bad.

Then we heard whispering.

"AHHHHHHH!" we both yelled. I took all my karate in the house training and kicked the door in. We ran out. 

 

Fifteen minutes later we were still sitting on the couch, to afraid to move. 

"This was stupid" I said.

Itona shuddered in response. 

I pulled him closer and he didn't move away. We bond over the weirdest things!

Is the mirror glowing???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dunn dunn dunnn! Thanks to Ceann Aisteach for Karate in the house idea! Also, If you haven't already, Read her fic Her Name Is Rio! 
> 
> Bloody Mary is a real game, I've never tried it though. I'm not dumb enough. Or I'm too scared. Are you brave enough too?
> 
> Update soon, hope you guys are still enjoying! Bye for now! :3


	27. How I became a ninja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright! I'm throwing ninjas into this story!
> 
> Also there's a spin off assassination classroom series called Koro Sensei Quest! It's basically the original cast as wizards. At first that sounded kind of stupid to me, but then I thought of Wizard Terasaka so....I'm gonna give it a try. I'm also kind of curious what role Itona will play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> NINJA AXE!!! (do ninjas use axes?)

"ITONA! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!!!!"

No I wasn't

"What yeah. But just in case you should say it again so you don't forget what you said."

"I swear your becoming more like Terasaka every day" Kayano said.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" 

"Jeez. You don't need to bite my face off. I was saying that we need to train. The big assassination is coming up. NOW MOVE!!"

"Yes mam" I said. There was really no point in arguing. 

We got to the field in the woods. 

"Ok, so I was thinking that you cover behind him while I attack head on..." 

"You're attacking head on! What about me?" I snapped.

"Well I'm the stronger one out of us so..."

"YOU'RE NOT STRONGER!"

"YES I AM! I LASTED WITHOUT PAIN MEDICATION WHILE YOU WENT AWOL WHEN YOU LOST!"

We're way more irritable with tentacles. 

"AS IF YOU'RE STRONGER! YOU GOT STOPPED BY A KISS!"

"Well" She said. "It looks like we need to settle this" 

"Agreed" I said. We took our separate places on the field, ready to battle.

Every part of commen sense in me should have been screaming that this was a terrible idea, but I didn't feel any common sense. 

It was a fast battle. It didn't matter how fast either of us were. Three tentacles dominate over two. I beat her easily. It felt good. 

I was walking away now. Leaving her crumpled on the ground. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A REALLY KLUTZY NINJA TRIPS OVER ME...what?

"Oh hey Itona" says the klutzy ninja. 

"What the? Terasaka? What the hell are you doing..."

"Here. Put this on" Terasaka says, handing me a ninja costume. "We're storming the A class. We could use your moves"

"Ok?" Since when is Terasaka a ninja. Wasn't I doing something just now? Where was I going? I feel like I was fighting someone. I can't remember. Terasaka the ninja?

I didn't really have a choice so I became a ninja along with Terasaka, Muramatsu, Yoshida and Hazama. 

"Alright Terasaka ninja gang! Let's go!" Terasaka announced. After a lot of complaining about the name, we started making our way to the main campus.

 

But I really feel like I'm forgetting something. 

 

We got down to the main campus with no problem. Well as easily as five people dressed as ninjas can, which I guess is pretty easy. 

"Hey, what are we going to do down here" I asked. Terasaka handed me a crowbar. I see we're vandalizing things. 

We're actually pretty agile, (minus Terasaka) and kinda seemed like real ninjas. Maybe. What the heck? Seriously! Why did I agree to this? I guess you roll with the crazy or the crazy rolls over you. 

 

We walked into the school. 

"NINJAAAAAAS!" Terasaka yelled. 

"Ninjas are quiet you idiot!" Hazama hissed. Terasaka's not a ninja. (why did I think he was?)

 

We snuck through the building and into an electrical closet. 

"Alright tiny. Which wire do we cut to shut off the power."

"The red one and why are we cutting wires.. DID YOU JUST CALL ME TINY?!?"

"Ninjas work in the dark. We need zero electricity." 

"You're gonna walk into something." I said.

"Am not" 

I cut the power anyways. There's no saying no to Terasaka when he actually has a plan. 

"Alright team! The time is now OWW!"

It seems he walked into a wall. 

"Ok. You three go that way. Me and the fun sized ninja will go this way. Only rule, BREAK AS MUCH STUFF AS YOU CAN! And don't get caught. 

 

Soon it was me and Terasaka. 

"Hey, you called me fun sized."

"Mmhmm"

"So you basically called me small"

"Mmhmm"

"DON'T INSULT A SHORT PERSON'S HEIGHT!" I yelled punching him.

"HEY HEY HEY! Don't hurt fellow ninjas! Owwww. That hurt!"

"Sorry"

Terasaka stared at me. "Did you just apologize?"

"Yeah" I said.

"Why?"

"Because I hurt you and felt bad" 

"Awww. Itona does have a heart." 

"Tch" I turned away and tripped over a desk. Real graceful Itona. Real graceful. 

"You ok?" Terasaka asks. 

"Mm? Yeah I'm good."

GOD DAMMIT MY LEG IS CAUGHT!

I feel Terasaka grab my arm and pull me free. Thank god it's dark because my face is probably scarlet by now. 

"Let's move shorty. The classes are probably in the auditorium. It won't be long before they come back" 

"Ok...DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORTY!!"

"Stop hitting me! STOP HITTING ME!" Terasaka yelled as I hit him. "No more short jokes. They're to belittling anyways" 

I kicked him in the shin. 

After fifteen minutes of breaking Terasaka spoke again. 

"Some people say to be tall dark and handsome you have to turn off the lights, stand on a chair and lie" 

Wtf is he talking about?!

"But that's one opinion. Do you think I'm tall dark and handsome?"

Say what? Oh my god. IS HE FLIRTING WITH ME?!?

"Uh, I don't know. yes? NO! Definitely no! I don't think you're handsome. Or dark. You are too tall though."

"Ouch" Terasaka says, but I can hear him trying not to laugh. GET UNDER CONTROL ITONA! You do not have feelings for this idiot! DO NOT! I guess he is tall and handsome...SNAP OUT OF IT! Hit him really hard. 

"OW! What was that for!?"

"For being Terasaka" I said, and broke more stuff. 

Five minutes later he talked again. 

"I think you're cute. Especially when you're mad at me" 

WOAH WHAT?!? He...he thinks I'm cute..But...but why?

"Ah, what did you say?" I said in a small voice. 

"I think you're really cute"

OH GOD HE GOT REALLY CLOSE! Maybe he really is a ninja.

I felt his arms cross over my chest and he pulls me against him. 

My heart is beating like crazy. Any second it's going to burst out of my chest and onto the floor and I'm going to die...

"You're freaking out aren't you?" Terasaka says. 

"No. why would you think that?"

"Because I can feel your heartbeat and it's going really fast"

What? Is it? I don't get nervous around Terasaka...OH GOD HE'S RUNNING HIS FINGERS THROUGH MY HAIR...And it feels gooooooood...

I let my head fall against his chest...Why am I so relaxed...

I don't know how much time went by. All I know is that I was cuddled up next to Terasaka for way to little time. it was way too soon when he took his hand off my head.

"Don't stop" I sigh. 

I look up at him and he smiles. He leans down and kisses me on the cheek. He really is too tall...

The sound of footsteps thundering down the hallway shook me back to normal.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" I yelled, shoving him off me. 

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WHAT THE HELL WERE WE DOING!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Uhhhhh We should run" 

"Ok!"

The two of us sprinted out of the school...and into the rain. My favorite weather. Yay. 

 

"So" Terasaka said awkwardly. 

"Yeah" I said just as awkwardly.

"I think that..."

"What ever happened in there..."

"Should stay between the two of us."

"Yup" 

Well that's agreed...

"AH! It's freaking cold!" I yelled, breaking out shivering. 

Terasaka started laughing until I hit him again. 

"My god! Your skin is ice!" 

"I kn-know!" 

"Stop making me take pity on you" he said, draping his own coat around me. 

"What are you doing? You're gonna catch pneumonia!" 

"Meh" 

So we walked back together. 

"Besides." Terasaka said. "I'm not gonna get sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it! (Be you can guess what's gonna happen in the next chapter!) Hope you enjoyed and i'll see you all next time!


	28. How I was a super spy, expert black mailer, and tourtured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm back again! I promised my buddy Ceann Aisteach that I'd add some KarmaxRio in this story, so I will, and if you haven't already, You should really really really read Her Name Is Rio by Ceann Aisteach (Lot's of awesome ItonaxTerasaka in there)
> 
> So yeah! Here we go and enjoy!
> 
> This is sort of a special chapter, not really part of the plot line. We'll pick back up with that next chapter :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to Her Name Is Rio
> 
> Read it please! http://archiveofourown.org/works/8264510/chapters/18934535
> 
> Just paste it in your search engine or look it up on AO3
> 
> Also, pls pls comment and tell me how i'm doing! I love feedback!

"This is awesome!"

"Mmhmm"

"My life is amazing!"

"Good for you" 

"I READ A BOOK!"

"Only ten pages long. How did you manage"

"You don't care do you?"

"Oh Terasaka. I care. Just not about over half the things you do"

"Mean" I said shoving him. 

"Stupid"

"Short"

"Dumbass"

"Tiny"

"Moron"

"Shrimp"

"asshole"

"Ooh!"

"Idiot"

"Hey! I'm done insulting!"

"Numskull" 

I really shouldn't have gotten him started. 

"Alright. What's so important that I had to stop insulting you" Itona said. 

I pointed where I saw the last two people I thought would be going somewhere alone together, were going somewhere alone together. 

 

So Terasaka the super spy snuck after them and tripped over a rock, got laughed at by Itona, and continued sneaking. 

Soon Terasaka the spy had them cornered. Well well well. Who would have thought that...

I got a shoe to the face

"OW!"

"YOU!!!!" Rio Nakamura was probably not happy to see me.

"ME!" I said defiantly, rubbing the shoe mark on my forehead. 

"Hey, don't kick my idiot. That's my job"

There's Itona. Where was he when I was getting assaulted...did he just call me his idiot?

"Why are you two here?' Karma said, looking more annoyed then usual. 

"It's a free country, and I really like this...closet"

"Yep. Terasaka loves this closet. He's here every day" Itona said, going along.

"Oh yes. I love my closet" I said, patting the wall. 

"Well i hate to interrupt the undying love between a man and a dirty broom closet, but we have better things to do." Rio said. "Now move!"

"No!" I said.

"She kicked me in the crotch."

"EEEEEEEEEE!" i yelled. I could tell Itona was dying with laughter.

"Later" Rio said, sashaying away, clearly pleased with herself. 

NO! TERASAKA THE SPY WON'T GO DOWN LIKE THIS!

I tried getting up by holding on to Itona but I pulled him down with me. 

"Hey hey hey! What are you doing!" Itona said, trying to get up but failing. Soon he was practically laying on top of me. It was kind of nice. He was blushing really hard. I seriously debated kissing him...but then I heard the click of a phone camera. 

"HEY!" I yelled. Rio was smirking down at us. "Nice picture guys! It's gonna be a hit on my blog" she and Karma sprinted away.

"They're dead!" I hissed. 

"yes they are" Itona said, jumping up. 

"Wait for me!" I said getting up as well. (It really hurt down under!) 

 

We went on a sadistic demon hunt for about ten minutes. 

"Let's give up" I said. I really needed to sit down

"Never" Itona said. "If you want to be weak and useless go right ahead..."

"Let's look over there" 

I looked under a rock to make myself useful, then got hit in the face with a pebble.

"HEY..."

Itona motioned for me to be quiet and come over to him. Karma and Rio were behind the building, much closer then I thought they'd be.

"So Rio, are you going to tell those two you don't actually have a blog?" Karma teased, running his fingers through her hair.

"Nah. Let me have my fun"

LIARS! And why is Karma touching her?

"So are you going to kick Terasaka again? It was funny"

"Probably"

BASTARDS!

"Are you going to..."

"Stop talking. You're getting annoying." Rio said, kissing him.

OHHHHHHHH SNAP!

Itona's smiling like his birthday's come early

IT'S TIME FOR MY EPIC APPEARENCE

"Ahem" I cleared my throat dramatically. 

"HEY!" Rio yelled, breaking the kiss.

"That's right suckers! I saw it all!" That wasn't very smart as Rio almost tackled me if I didn't move at the last second.

"Hey! Hold still so I can rip your face of easily!" WHY DID SHE SAY THAT WHILE SMILING! Well I'm going to die, and of course Itona's disappeared.

"Well I gotta go. Bye!" I said sprinting away.

"Oh no you don't!" Karma yells, chasing after me.

I don't really remember where I ran, but I ran all over screaming like this:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *cough cough* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"You're dead Terasaka! You hear me!? Now let me hit you with a shovel so you'll get amnesia!" 

OH MY GOD KARMA HAS A SHOVEL!!!!! Now why are they so embarrassed about this? They're a cute couple. Well as cute as two sadistic demons trying to kill me can. 

I tripped over a rock and found myself on the ground. 

"NO! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS I WANTED TO DO BEFORE I WENT! LIKE ROB A BANK! AND ROB A HOTEL AND AND..."

"Isn't this pathetic?" Itona said.

"THERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE..."

Karma's smiling and I don't like it. 

"I'd be willing to trade hitting him with a shovel for something else"

"Ok. Anything to make him stop talking about future robberies." 

Rio smirks "This whole issue is about relationships, so let's play with that"

"Can we not?" I asked.

Rio steps on my face in a form of answer. 

"So how about this?" Karma says. "We get rid of the picture, and you stay quiet, and we spare Terasaka's skull if you two make out!"

"WOAH WHAT!?" I yell. Rio's laughing now. 

"Yes! I ship!"

"No! no ships!" I say.

"Yes ships"

"No ships"

"Yes ships" 

"Ships are bad news! The titanic I daresay!"

"Too late! I ship!"

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!"

"NO YOU DON'T" Itona kicks me to get me to shut up. Oh good! He's going to save me!

"Go ahead and hit him"

"WHAT! Itonaaaaa!"

"Come on" Karma says. "You know you want to"

"No I don't! Why would I want to?" Itona says. He's blushing. Karma has him right where he wants him. Rio's looking at him intently, making him blush more. 

Why do I think he's so adorable?

"Ok, here's my final deal" Itona says, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. "We'll make out, but you guys do it too" 

"WHAT KIND OF DEAL IS THAT?"

"A good one. We accept" Rio said. 

She and Karma make out big time. 

"Your turn" Rio says brightly. 

Itona kneeled down beside me. Is he really doing this willingly?

"And rolling" Karma says, holding up his phone.

"YOU'RE VIDEOING THIS?" 

"Never said we couldn't" Rio said.

Stupid intelligent demon couple. Never thought I'd say that.

"Ok. here we go" I said. 

Itona's trying not to meet my eyes, he's blushing harder now. 

"Am i going to regret this?" he asked.

"I don't know."

"Of course. That was an intelligent question. You couldn't answer one of those."

"Hey!"

"what's 7 times 6?"

"Uhhhhhh"

"Less fighting more kissing!" Rio yells. 

I refuse to be yelled at! I shove Itona against me and kiss him. 

"YEAH!" Rio yells. "THIS SHIP HAS SAILED!" The two take off running. 

"And we're dead" I say. 

"Oh no we're not"

"I don't know if you noticed but...AGH!"

A small tank drives over my leg. 

"WHAT THE...is that my phone?"

My phone was taped to the tank and it was recording. 

"ITONA! YOU VIDEOED THEM?" 

"Yeah. And Karma didn't get the video of us. I may have...messed with his phone."

"YES!" I cheer. He's still laying on me, but neither of us care. IT'S POINT FOR TEAM IDIOT!

 

It wasn't until last period when an angry bull named Rio Nakamura comes charging at us.

"YOU TRICKED US!"

"Yep. Have a nice night." Itona says, walking away, ditching me again. 

"Ok, what's the deal!" I yell. 

"What do you mean?" Rio asks.

"You and Karma hate each other! Why are you dating?"

"Because we can. Who crowned you king of love?"

"No one! And if I wanted to be king of love, I could because I'm awesome!"

"No you couldn't!" 

"Yes I could!"

"Whatever. I'm just saying that you and Itona can't top us for best couple" 

"WE WON'T CUZ WE AREN'T A COUPLE!"

"I, Rio Nakamura, the great psychic predict you will get together!"

"WILL NOT!"

"THIS IS FOR KARMA'S PHONE!"

"OWW!"

She kicked me in the crotch again.

"Bye Terasaka" 

 

I texted Itona later that night.

ME: I could be king of love. Right?

ITONA: Why do I hang out with you?

ME: Because

ITONA: Ok then. Goodnight. 

ME: Night.

I want to say it, but he'll probably murder me if I do.

He kisses good!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll be back to the plot next chapter! Thanks for reading!


	29. How I questioned if I was wearing pants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to the actual plot! (Read the last line of chapter 27 for a little indicator of what's going to happen next ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I'm trying to get to 75 kudos, so if you can leave a kudos that would be great! All you readers deserve something special! (Terasaka's P.O.V

I really wanna be in bed.

Like I wanna be in bed more then usual. I THINK I'M DYING!!!

I can't breathe without coughing, I can't see straight, I'm super dizzy, I'm hot and cold at the same time, and I'm shaking. 

That, or I got sick like Itona said I would. BUT I WILL NEVER TELL HIM HE WAS RIGHT!

OH MY GOD MAYBE I HAVE THE BLACK PLAGUE! OH GOD I'M GONNA DIE! 

"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die"

"Terasaka" 

"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die I'm gonna die"

"Terasaka!" 

"I'm gonna die I'm gonna die"

"HEY!" I looked up to see Yoshida yelling at me.

"What do you want?"

"It's only a homework assignment. Stop saying you're going to die."

"What? Oh. Ok then. What's it on?"

"The black plague." 

SERIOUSLY! Ok, where's Itona. I need to question him on the black plague. 

 

"What do you want? You're crossing my idiot line" Itona said when I found him. 

"Ha ha" OH WAIT! I WASN'T GOING TO TELL HIM HE WAS RIGHT! I need a cover.

"What do you know about pigs, fish, and pickles?"

"They sound like something you would eat in a sandwich"

"Valid point"

Ugh, to be honest it sounds disgusting. I feel really sick...

"Are you ok?" Itona asks. 

"Right as rain! Fit as a fiddle!"

"And a normal person says that" 

 

I was sticking it out, but of course something had to happen in LA. 

I was feeling the dizziest yet. Hmm, Since when does Koro Sensei teach on the ceiling. Why is everyone on the ceiling?

Next thing I knew there was a crash and I was on the floor. 

"What was that?" Koro Sensei says. "Terasaka?"

I was already in my seat but all eyes were on me.

"um, My tie fell"

"Sounded awfully heavy for a tie" Yoshida said.

"I was wearing my tie" 

Well that was a mistake because that made nurse octopus come after me. 

"ARE YOU OK TERASAKA? Let's make sure you don't have any brain damage"

"Too late for that" Itona said. 

I would have tried to hit him, but everything went blurry again. 

 

Soon came the time where me and Itona were supposed to work on our electronics project. 

I was walking outside when I was suddenly on the floor again.

"Did you just fall?" Itona asked.

"Tch. No. I attacked the floor" 

"Backwards?"

"I'm freaking talented" 

"Whatever" 

And I'm in the clear! Point Terasaka! Oh my head...

I was laying on a rock while Itona did all the work. As usual. 

"Are you sure you're ok?" 

"What?" 

Itona was looking at me weirdly. 

"I'm fi*cough cough cough* Just fine *cough cough cough* Fine *Insert lots more coughing* 

"That didn't sound fine."

"That was healthy coughing" 

"Suuuure it was"

I'm sure it was close to seventy degrees, BUT I WAS SHIVERING!

"Are you ok? You look like you're having a seizure." Itona said. 

"T-that's r-r-ridiculous. I'm f-fine" 

"Uh, Ok" Itona said looking at me weirdly again. 

Soon I couldn't remember my name. 

"TERASAKA!"

"HUH? WHAT?" 

"I said can you hand me those wire cutters"

"Yeah sure" 

Unfortunately my stupid hand had decided that it wanted to move on its own and it knocked everything off the rock where it was placed. 

"And those were all organized" Itona said. "Go on. Pick them up"

I tried, but rolled off the rock.

"You seem less graceful then usual." Itona commented. NO KIDDING SHERLOCK!

Suddenly a scary thought hit me. 

"OH MY GOD! AM I WEARING PANTS?!"

"What? And yes, you are. And didn't you know that?"

"Oh good. I thought I wasn't wearing pants"

"Terasaka?"

"I wonder what it would be like to join a nudist colony?"

"Terasaka? Hello?"

"Oh hey Itona. When did you get here?" 

"Terasaka? You're kidding right?" 

"Hmm? Oh yeah! I was kidding!"

What just happened?

"Okayyyyy" Itona said skeptically. 

Ok. I dodged the bullet. I'm sooo cold...

"AHA!"

"WHAT? WHAT?" I said, jumping up like I'd been tasered. 

"You're shivering"

"It's a perfectly human thing to do!"

"In 80 degree weather."

"It's not that wa..*Cough cough cough*"

"Let me guess. You got sick from standing out in the rain and are too headstrong to admit it"

"No!"

He knows me too well. 

He leans down next to me and puts his hand on my forehead. "God Terasaka! You're burning up! How are you still standing?"

I used my answer for a lot of things. "I don't know"

 

Itona made the octopus take me home, so there I was. Sitting alone in bed. NOT FOR LONG!

I started getting out of bed. Since when is it so hard to stand?

"Nope. Lay back down" 

"AHHHH!" Itona was standing in my bedroom. 

"WHAT THE?! WHAT? HOW?"

"I snuck away from school."

"Why?"

"To take care of you obviously. You'd kill yourself in the first two minutes left alone" 

"Itona Chan caaaares!" I sang. 

"Itona Chan doesn't care, he just wants to miss Bitch-Sensei's lesson on seducing...why am I referring to myself like that?"

 

He stayed for the next three hours. Of course there was no way I was going to let him be un bothered.

"What are you doing? I told you to go to sleep" 

"But Itona Chan, I can't sleep"

"That's not my problem"

"If you would tell me a story..."

"If I'd what?! No way."

"I guess I'll just stay here and bother you"

"Mm"

"Itona Chan Itona Chan Itona Chan!" I sang. 

"Ok OK! Go upstairs before I stuff your head in the oven"

"Yay!"

 

Two minutes later I was in bed, awaiting a story. 

"This is stupid" Itona said.

"Put your ego aside and tell me a story!"

"Ugh fine. Once upon a time, there was a big stupid oaf who annoyed his friend too much and was mysteriously murdered. The end" 

"THAT WAS LAME! BETTER STORY BETTER STORY BETTER STORY!"

"Ok, stop chanting"

"BETTER STORY!" 

"Once upon a time, uh, there was a gorilla. Named Terasaka. He was the dumbest gorilla in the jungle"

"Gee thanks"

"Do you want a story or not? So the gorilla tried as hard as he could to be intelligent, but he failed epically."

"Can there be magic in this story?"

"What? Ok, whatever. So one day, the gorilla found a magic wand, and being as dumb as he was he turned himself into a human. He was no smarter, just more annoying."

"This gorilla sounds awesome" I said drowsily. 

"Sure. So the gorilla got caught up with some humans who were trying to kill an octopus. Somewhere along the way, the gorilla got hopelessly tricked by...a white wizard. He was promised money and stuff and was totally fooled"

"Why would a gorilla want money?"

"Fine. He was promised banannas. Happy?"

"Yes. Keep telling the story"

"Uhhhhh Ok. Um, I don't know." 

"Put a cat in the story and give him a personality like yours!"

"Random requests much?"

"Pleeeeeease? I'm sick and dying and am possibly on my death bed so can I please have this one request fulfilled?" 

"Ok. fine. The white wizard had a cat. This cat wanted nothing more then to have power. He was so desperate he lost vision of everything he once cared about. Yet he still teased the gorilla about lacking vision. As time went on the cat continued to lack vision and only seek power, but then the gorilla did something the cat could never forgive him for"

"He stole his rice ball!"

"No dummy. He saved his life"

"And that's bad because...?"

"Now the cat owed the gorilla, and was more greatful then the gorilla could imagine, and could never really express how he felt, and now he maybe cared about the gorilla and is scared that the gorilla will leave him like so many others and he'll only be a lost kitten with no one again" 

"This is a surprisingly complex story"

"I mean, the cat wanted nothing to do with the stupid gorilla. The end" Itona said, getting up. 

"Itona?"

"Mm?"

"That story had no plot line"

"Shut up! I'm not a writer!" 

"And thanks"

"What?"

"Thanks for caring that I'm dying"

"YOU'RE NOT DYING!"

"I SO AM!"

"DRAMA QUEEN!"

"SPOIL SPORT!"

"IDIOT!"

"TIN..*cough cough cough*" 

"Ha! I win. Now shut up and go to sleep"

"Itona"

"What now?"

"Can you stay in here until I fall asleep?"

"What?"

"Just do homework or something" 

"Ok."

I wasn't sleeping but pretending to! Terasaka the master of deception! And I like watching Itona. He's so organized compared to me.

"I know you're not sleeping"

"HOW! I'M A MASTER OF DECEPTION!" 

"Sure"

I fell asleep eventually. When I woke up Itona was gone. There was a note.

 

I was right. You did get sick. -Itona

 

HE JUST HAD TO GET THE LAST LAUGH!


	30. How I enjoyed nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nature! The lovely thing that's right outside that we never choose to enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna say a big thank you to all my readers (yes, that's you who's reading this right now!)
> 
> In my quest to gain more kudos I went from 36 to 51 in a super short time! If you've left a kudos, thanks so much! Writing the story's only half the process. It wouldn't be fan fiction without fans to read it! Thank you again to everyone that's read this.

There's no way I heard that right. Koro sensei wants to take us camping? No offense to anyone, but there are some of us who aren't exactly cut out for camping, or being outside in general *cough,Terasaka,*cough*

Hence the currant situation. 

"THERES NO WIFI SIGNAL IN THE WOODS" said the idiot. 

"Oh my. What a surprise. No wifi in the woods. Who would have thought."

"Shut it wise guy. Hey, you're the cellphone master. MAKE ME WIFI!"

"It doesn't work that way" 

" so you're telling me you don't just snap your fingers and have wifi"

"Oh god"

By the time I finished telling Terasaka about the "magical cell towers" we were almost to the campsite. 

"This sucks" Terasaka said. Natures boring"

"You're never gonna survive. You're gonna get eaten by a bear, and get poison ivy and when you're on your death bed, dying of nature, I will say that I was right"

I probably shouldn't of said that last part because he got what I've come to call "the insane idiot look" in his eye. 

" you just watch. I'll become the most natural of the nature boys."

"Ok"

"Uh, what does a nature guy do?"

"I don't know. I guess you have to eat sleep and breathe nature"

"Awesome! I'm off to go pee in the woods!"

What have I unleashed?

"Hey Itona. Where's Terasaka?" Hazama said walking up to me. 

"He's peeing in the woods"

" he does realize that he's already in the woods right?"

Right on cue Terasaka came running up. 

"Which way are the woods?" 

Idiot. 

 

Twenty minutes later we were gathered at the campsite. 

"Alright. We'll be in tents of four" Koro Sensei was saying. I was sent with Terasaka, Okajima, and Karma. 

"So I'm gonna become the biggest nature fanatic ever!" Terasaka was saying to Okajima. 

Our first task was to set up our tent. 

"Terasaka. You have more muscles then brains. Go pitch the tent" Karma said. 

Terasaka picked up the tent, and threw it. 

"What was that?"

"I did what you said! I pitched the tent!"

"You've never been camping have you"

"Nature boys know how to pitch tents" I said. 

Well that did it. Terasaka tried and failed to set up our tent for almost an hour, rejecting help from anyone else. 

"Boys boys boys" Koro sensei said, seeing our badly pitched tent. "I'm pretty sure you didn't follow my camping guide."

As usual Koro Sensei has created a huge manual full of camping advice. Yay for us. 

After Koro Sensei fixed our tent in under two seconds, we joined the class in a clearing.

"A good assassin is at home at any environment, including nature. Each team will go though tests to prove who is the most nature smart!"

Great. Something we're going to lose epically. 

"Your first task! Build a fire pit!"

 

So we tried to build a fire pit. 

"Why do we need a fire pit?" Terasaka asked. 

"To cook food" Okajima answered. 

"ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAULED A MICROWAVE ALL THIS WAY FOR NOTHING?!"

"Who brings a microwave camping?" Karma asked. 

"Apparently he does" was my answer. 

 

Soon we had our fire pit. We then had to report back to the clearing.

"I see all the teams were successful!" Koro Sensei said happily. 

"Good work team!" Terasaka said happily. 

"All you did was look for an outlet for your microwave"

"Your next task will be a five hour hike through the woods!" Koro Sensei said. 

Five hours,in the woods, with Terasaka. Why did I join this class?

The rules for the hike were simple. It was a race. The first team to get to the top of the mountain and bring a flag back to camp was the winner. Easy. If you didn't have Terasaka on your team. 

"I'll use my amazing sense of direction to guide us!" Okajima announced. Five minutes later we were at a girls' tent. Go figure. 

"My turn to use my awesome sense of direction to guide us!" Terasaka said. And we were off. The nightmare began. 

"We're lost" Okajima said for the third time. 

"We are not. You're following the amazing Terasaka. There's no way we're lost"

A few minutes later there was no trail. Only lots of trees. 

"We're lost" I said. 

"Are not" 

"Ok then. Where are we?"

"Uhhhh"

So we were lost. Great. Wonderful. Fantastic. 

" I have an idea" okajima said. "We can try blind walking. You're supposed to establish contact with a spirit and then they'll guide you" 

"That sounds sketchy" Katma said, voicing everyone's thoughts. 

"You just watch" Okajima said. Then he closed his eyes and tried walking. We followed him just in case. 

"WOAH WOAH STOP" Terasaka yelled, grabbing Okajima's shoulder. He almost walked off a cliff. 

The four of us were standing on a rock that was hanging over a cliff. What awesome luck. 

"Good thing no one fell" Karma said. 

Not even a second after he said that, there was a crunch. Then the rock sold off the cliff. 

Of course this happens to us. 

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"

 

Koro Sensei's POV

I looked up to see a rock fall off a cliff. 

"Thank goodness the students aren't over there" I said. "That cliff is known as the dragons teeth. Anything that falls get skewered on sharp rocks"

"Why is that rock screaming?" Irina-Sensei asked. 

I looked closer. "STUDENTS!" I yelled. 

"I'm willing to be money that's Terasaka's group" Mr.Karasuma said.

And back to Itona's P.O.V

"Owww"

"Is everyone ok?"

"No thanks to you Okajima"

"I think I broke more then one bone"

Well, we just survived falling off a cliff. I think we're doing well. (I've also decided that Terasaka is kind of a nature jinx.)

"Alright. New task" Karma said. "Get back to the actual route."

"But this is an adventure!" Terasaka said. "Terasaka and company! Discovering the great outdoors! Chapter one, Falling off a cliff due to pure stupidity!"

"Sure to be a best seller" I said sarcastically. 

 

We picked ourselves up and started walking. We appeared to be in a canyon full of sharp rocks. (How are we alive?) 

"Ok. As your leader I propose that we go south!" Terasaka said, pointing. 

"That's north, and who made you leader?" I said.

"Duh, I did. And you can be co leader if you want"

Annnnnd we're doomed.

With Terasaka in the lead we walked along the canyon. 

"So, anyone know where we're going?" Terasaka asked.

"You're the leader! Aren't you supposed to know?"

"He doesn't know anything. I'm the leader now" Karma said.

"Says who?!" Terasaka yelled.

"Me"

"My own weapon used against me!"

"Everyone shut up! I'm getting a headache!" I yelled. 

So we walked some more until we saw a stable looking way up the canyon.

"Ok. We can try and climb up here."

"TERASAKA THE CLIMBING EXPERT!" Terasaka yelled and climbed up the wall at a pace that only a gorilla could climb at. 

"wow. He's good at something" Karma said.

"Yeah. Climbing. That's...kinda weird"

We thought about Terasaka the climbing expert for a few minutes until he yelled, "HEY! I'M NOT GETTING ANY YOUNGER UP HERE!"

"we're coming!"

"OH MY GOD! A GRAY HAIR!"

"I said we're coming!"

"OOH! MY BACK! I THINK I NEED A CANE NOW!"

"I SAID WE'RE COMING"

I almost fell near the top of the rock and Terasaka caught me. 

"Careful Itona chan" 

"Don't call me that. And you can put me down"

"Jeez. Just making sure you're ok. 

"You coming love birds?" Karma called.

"YOU, uh, ARE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR SOMEONE ELSE CAUSE' WE'RE NOT LOVE BIRDS" Terasaka yelled.

I didn't say anything, but did choose to kick Terasaka to prove we weren't love birds. 

"OW! I didn't do anything!" 

"Yet"

 

A half hour later, we were hopelessly lost in the woods. 

"I'm hungry." Terasaka said.

"That's too bad. We don't have any food."

"Oh wait! I'm a nature boy now! I should be able to find food in the wilderness!"

The three of us non idiots watched as Terasaka searched for food. 

"Hey! Honey!"

"Terasaka don't touch that! I think that's a beehive!" I yelled.

"Who cares! I'm hungry.

In the bee's defense, I wouldn't want Terasaka tearing my home apart either. 

 

"AAAAAAAGH! BEES!" Terasaka went tearing through the woods like his hair was on fire, holding the beehive, followed by bees. 

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU?" I yelled back.

"BEES! BEES! DEADLY KILLER BEES!"

"Oh don't worry! Killer bees only live in Africa. You'll only get stung beyond recognition!" Karma said. 

"WHAT DO I DO!?" Terasaka yelled, running around a tree.

"Jump in a lake!" Okajima yelled.

So Terasaka jumped in a lake. 

 

"No more bees!" Terasaka said happily. "And I have honey!"

"Congrats" Karma said.

"Anyone know how to open a beehive?"

 

Fifteen more minutes of random wood wandering occurred. 

"Is that a bear?" Okajima asked nervously. 

"No" I said. 

"Are you sure?" Terasaka said nervously.

"Kind of"

The big furry thing moved closer.

"OH MY GOD A BEAmph!"

"Shut up" Karma hissed, keeping his hand over Terasaka's mouth. "Do you want to be bear food?"

 

Two minutes later...

"RUN AWAY FROM THE BEAR!" Terasaka yelled.

After running away from the bear, we were exausted.

"It's official...You are...a nature jinx...Terasaka" Okajima panted. 

"Am..not" 

"Guys...I think that's a mountain lion"

...  
...  
...

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

More running. Yay.

 

"We lost it!" Terasaka cheered.

"We also lost Okajima and Karma"

"At least nothing else can go wrong" Terasaka said.

It started raining.

"WHY DID I SAY THAT!"

"Ahh! Water! WHY THE HELL IS IT WATER?!?"

 

After being soaked, Koro sensei found us.

"How was the nature boys?" he asked.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! NATURE HATES ME!" said Terasaka.

 

So that's how I almost died of nature. 

"AAAGH! RABID BEAVER! RABID BEAVER!" 

And Terasaka clearly went outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there you have it! Wow! Thirty chapters! (I've been writing this since August. Wow) So, If you're enjoying this but don't know when the next chapter will come out, you should bookmark this. I updated this on Feb 16, and if you read this anytime close to this, book mark it because there's still lots to come! I'll do random date checks. every once in a while so if you read this by the time there are more chapters out I'll add more dates. Please leave Kudos! Trying to get to a goal of 75! Comments are appreciated!
> 
> Also, I need a catchphrase. See ya in the next chapter is kinda boring so I'll be figuring out some sort of catchphrase for the end of the chapters! But for now, See ya in the next chapter! :)


	31. How I used a dictionary for its intended use

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Large books. I have no good summaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sooo thankful for your support so I'm gonna try and do something for you. If you want to comment about something you want to see happen in the story Comment! It would be my pleasure to write what you guys want to see! (Please comment! I'd love to see your guy's Ideas!)
> 
> So enjoy guys! Here's the 31st chapter!!!!

So, here's one thing about me. If I'm reading a dictionary, I'm hardly ever using it for its intended purpose. 

When I was small I stood on a dictionary to reach the cookie jar. When I got pissed off at Yoshida I hit him in the head with a dictionary, and the other night I tried telling a dictionary some dumb pickup lines. 

I know. I'm weird. 

So today I forgot a book for silent reading, and Bitch sensei made me read a dictionary.

I was a bored out of my mind until I saw this word. 

Tsundere (ツンデレ ?, pronounced [tsɯndeɽe]) is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing a warmer side over time.

OH MY GOD THAT DESCRIBES ITONA PERFECTLY!!!!

(I accidentally yelled HELL YES!! Out loud) 

 

After silent reading Itona cornered me. 

"Why were you so excited about a book?"

"Nothing"

"Idiot"

"Tsundre"

"What?"

"Nothing"

HE'S SUCH A TSUNDRE!!!!

 

Soon it was time for math. We had a test, and as usual I didn't study, so I sneakily texted Itona.

ME: Quick! Solve for X! number 18! What's the answer

ITONA: I don't know

ME: Yes you do! I saw your paper! You just finished it!

ITONA: Too bad idiot. You're on your own.

ME: STUPID TSUNDRE!!

ITONA: Don't you dare try to define my charecter

 

Of course now I wanted to define his character so I looked through the dictionary. 

 

After the test I went to find Hazama the character master.

"You're right. Itona does seem like a tsundre. But he also is kind of a Kuudere."

"What?"

"Look"

Hazama held up the dictionary.

Kuudere  
Emotionless, cold, and distant. On the rare occasional that a kuudere does speak, they tend to be very blunt and cynical. A blank face and a flat voice is a must. Despite their icy nature, kuudere characters are capable of caring and forming romantic bonds.

"YES!"

"SO I guess he's like a kuudere-tsundere hybrid.

"A Tsunkuudere!"

"Ok then..."

 

I looked through more books and found these definitions. 

Tsundere-This type refers to a character who treats the one they love poorly and sometimes it’s because that’s the only way they know how to react.  
An example is if the main character calls a tsundere character cute. The tsundere character will get upset and flustered, possibly cause physical harm to the one they love, and then call them stupid.

The Kuudere (クーデレ), sometimes written Coodere or Kūdere, type refers to a character who is often cold, blunt, and cynical. They may seem very emotionless on the outside, but on the inside they’re very caring — at least when it comes to the ones they love.

Itona hurts me and calls me stupid all the time.

HE LIKES ME!!!!!

With that news in mind I couldn't help but dance around the schoolyard.

"What are you doing?" Itona said.

"DANCING BECAUSE OF REALLY GREAT NEWS!!"

"Well congrats and knock it off. It's weird"

"Ok!" 

"You're weird"

"Itona"

"What?"

"You don't need to act all cold and distant. I like you just the way you are"

"Wh-why would you say that?" Itona said, turning away.

"Are you blushing?"

"NO! I mean, no. I'm not. Like an idiot like you could ever make me blush!" 

"Suuure"

"Shut up you idiot!" 

"You're really cute when you're blushing"

"I SAID SHUT UP!"

"OWWW!" 

He kicked me. Hard. I think he permanently ruined my knee.

"Itonaaaaa" 

"Stop whining" Itona said, walking off.

 

After I painfully limped back to the classroom and complained to Yoshida and Muramatsu about replacement knees, I asked them this question.

"Which sounds better. Tsunkuudere or Kuutsundre?"

"I don't know. Why are you inventing words?" Yoshida asked.

I gave them the short explanation. Yoshida ended up liking the first one and Muramatsu liked the second one. Real helpful. 

"What are you doing?" Ritsu asked, powering on and scaring the crap out of all of us. 

"Trying to come up with Itona's official title."

"Well full on kuudere might be a stretch. When I first met him I debated weather he had any emotion at all." Ritsu said. 

"Nice to see this is what you all do when I'm not around." Itona was standing in the doorway. 

"Oh hiiiii" I said, preparing for him to kill my other knee. 

"Just so you know, I do have emotion." 

"Oh yeah? Prove it!"

"I don't need to. I have emotions. I just don't use them.

I would have said something else, but I value my knee. And that was the end of that conversation. 

 

That afternoon the weirdest thing happened. I was calmly sitting at my desk when a voice said.

"Nufufufufufufu. The budding romance of an ice cold Tsunkuudere and stupid but lovable bully."

"Excuse me?" I said standing up. A blur of yellow was my only response. 

I tracked Koro Sensei to the teacher's lounge.

"AHHHHH! TERASAKA! *ahem* what brings you here?"

"Let's change stupid but loveable bully to super awesome muscleman with genius like wisdom" I said.

"But my novel is realistic fiction."

"THEN LETS GO HEAVY ON THE FICTION!!!"

So the octopus is writing a love novel. Stranger things have happened.

Later that day: I forgot all my stuff at school. I remembered when I was walking through the door. 

I ran back to school to find my stuff, which of course I couldn't find. 

"HELLO? STUFF?" I yelled."IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU CAME OUT!!!!" 

Of course it didn't answer. 

"STUUUUUFFF!" I called again. 

"You're too loud!" came a voice.

"Stuff?" I asked.

"Sure. Now shut up and go away"

WHAT'S HAPPENING? 

i walked into the classroom and saw my stuff.

"There you are!"

"Where else would I be? I'm here every Thursday."

"Oh, uh, you hang out here every Thursday?"

"Yeah. You know that. And you say we're friends" said my stuff.

"Well uh...I didn't know you saw it like that. All I ever do is write on you and read you and..."

"What are you talking about?" Itona stuck his head out from behind Ritsu's box.

"Oh it's you. I totally didn't think my stuff could talk."

"Sure you did."

"Bye" I said awkwardly, leaving with my silent stuff.

"Later"

 

That night I had a weird dream. I fell through a rabbit hole only to find out I was late for class. A talking binder told me to go through a door that would lead me to school and suddenly I was giving a speech with no pants. Then a giant snail came in and ate everything and I still had no pants. Just after my boxers jumped off my legs and made a run for it, I woke up.

"That was a weird dream" I said out loud.

"WAKE UP TERASAKA!!!" screamed my backpack.

"AAAAAAAHHH!" I woke up for real this time. I think. Hazama was standing in my room staring at me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! (I don't know how that dream got so random. I tried :) ) Remember you can comment about something you want to see in the story if you want to.
> 
> And remember I was trying to think of a catchphrase thingy? Well here's what I got! (And if you think this is terrible please please comment with other ideas.)
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!!!


	32. Observations of Kirara Hazama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, this chapter's a little different. It's gonna be from Hazama's P.O.V so Itona and Terasaka can be in it together from a neutral perspective. Here we go!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say thank you once again to my readers! I wouldn't be here without you!!! Please comment and tell me how I'm doing! I love comments and it would make me happy!
> 
> I won't keep you waiting for the chapter any longer. enjoy!!! 
> 
> (Also, 57 kudos!!! Thank you all for the support! It means so much to me!!!!)

I have weird taste in friends. 

You have Muramatsu, who's first love is ramen, and Yoshida, who lives for hitting things with a motorcycle, and there's Itona, the anti social past lab experiment, and there's Terasaka who gets his own category. 

If they were talking about me they'd probably say that I love book too much, can make a happy situation dark, and try to place people in my on scenarios.

My current scenario is Terasaka dating Itona, or ItoTera as I'm calling it. I was even in Terasaka's room to yell at him about love this morning 

Koro Sensei is actually writing a romance novel. Now that I have an OTP, I can throw half my other ships out the window. (Shipping your friends is always more fun.)

Here are my sunk ships

KarmaxTerasaka

ItonaxRitsu

TerasakaxMuramatsu

TerasakaxYoshida

ItonaxKayano

TerasakaxNagisa

ItonaxMuramatsu

ItonaxYoshida

 

I have to say, it's kind of perfect that Itona and Terasaka are a couple possibility. If you'll allow me to enter narrator mode, I see it like this.

 

Ryoma Terasaka, well known class bully is easily taken advantage of by a mysterious white masked man and his scientific experiment. You'd think this gorilla like human would hold a grudge and leave the science experiment known as Itona to die, but it turns out this bully has a heart of gold and helps Itona when he needs it most. The two are now close friends and maybe more...

"Hazama" 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT YOSHIDA!!!!"

If someone brings me out of writing mode or disturbs me while I'm reading they will die. 

"We're trying to get Terasaka to wear a dress. Want to help?"

"Sure"

Annoying Terasaka is still pretty high on my like list. 

"I'M NOT WEARING A DRESS!" Terasaka yelled. "WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR A DRESS?" 

"Because" was my answer. I was secretly hoping to drag Itona into this somehow.

"I heard the screams of a wild Terasaka being humiliated. What are we doing?"

Itona, right on time.

"We're getting this dummy to wear a dress because it seemed like a good idea" Muramatsu said.

"BUT WHY?!?" Terasaka howled. 

"Because" all four of us said together. 

"COME ON!!" Terasaka said. "WHY ME?"

"Because" 

"Seriously!?" Terasaka said angrily. "Itona would look way better in a dress."

Ha! Itona's face was on fire! I don't see how he can deny his liking of this idiot. 

"So are you saying you want to see Itona in a dress?"

"I already have, and he looked freaking adorable, so yes?"

"I'm leaving" Itona said, clearly blushing.

"Real smooth Romeo." I said.

"My name is Ryoma, not Romeo. And since when do you call me that?"

"Idiot"

I don't suppose that anyone with his intelligence levels would have read Shakespeare. 

Every good story needs some rising action, so I figured that I'd mess with that. Finding Kayano was easy. 

 

"Hi Hazama!"

"Hey. I was thinking, it's time to help things along"

"YES!" Kayano screamed. 

 

As I walked outside, I saw Itona again. "You'll thank me later"

"What?"

"You'll see" I said. This was going to be fun. 

 

A few hours later Muramatsu and Yoshida had gotten Terasaka into a rather revealing dress. And then they forced him to go to class in it.

"It's the muscle suit all over again" Terasaka growled. 

"Jeez" was the only thing Itona said, while clearly trying not to laugh.

"You shut up!"

"Well I've seen worse in dresses" Itona shrugged, walking off.

"Oh my god. I think he just complimented me." Terasaka said.

"How badly do you want him?" I asked.

"Jeez! I'm not telling you here! Wait til' after class!"

It was very hard to wait. Shipping your friends is too much fun. 

 

"Alright. Speak" i said, once we were alone. 

"Woof"

"Ha ha."

"Why are you so interested?" 

"Because"

"WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING THAT?" 

"Enough stalling! Talk!" 

"Ok ok" Terasaka said. This was it. 

 

"I don't know why I like him"

"WHAT!!!! Come on! There has to be some reason!!"

"I don't know. I mean, he is pretty adorable. Oh wait. Now I think I know why."

"Why?!"

"I'll tell you tomorrow"

"TERASAKA!!!!" 

"Jeez! Ok!"

"TALK!"

Terasaka sighed. "You're very persuasive.

"I know."

 

"I guess I just understand him. I kinda get what it's like to be alone in the world. To want to have power over anything."

I nodded. "Continue" 

"I trust him. Is that weird? I even kind of trusted him when he was out of control"

"No. You two kind of connected" 

"I can't really explain it. I guess I just need a person who's there for me all the time and who understands me. And I think Itona needs that person. And i want to be that person"

"Congrats. You said something truly sentimental."

"Yay me?"

"You're going to hate me later, but you'll thank me in the end"

"What did you do?"

"Bye Terasaka"

"Hazama!"

"See you later."

"HAZAMA WHAT DID YOU DO!!!" 

You will see my stupid companion. You will see. 

 

Getting Itona to talk was harder. The first few minutes of the conversation went like this.

"Hi Itona"

"Hey" 

"What do you think of Terasaka?"

"I don't know. He's Terasaka" 

"Come on! Details!"

"He's stupid, and careless"

"More then the obvious ones"

"I'm not going to tell you" Itona said.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't like Terasaka. He's my friend and nothing else. Plus he's too annoying to get in a relationship with.

"So you really like him?"

"I didn't say anything like that!"

"Denial is a stage of romance my friend"

"Since when!?" 

"I'll see you later"

"Hazama!!"

"What?"

"Don't try anything crazy because I don't like him!"

"Sure"

"I DON'T!"

"You do" I said quietly. 

 

"Are we ready in here?" I asked a little while later. 

"Yes!" Kayano said. "Now all we need is Terasaka. What did Itona say?"

"Poor thing's chest deep in denial."

"Well we'll need to fix that won't we!" Kayano said brightly. "Now go get our test subject."

 

"Hi Terasaka." 

"Hello"

One, two, three...

"WAIT! YOU'RE PLANNING SOMETHING! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" 

"Too late"

I dragged him inside the classroom.

"What's everyone doing here?"

A stick came out of nowhere and hit him on the head."

"Oh no"

"Hello Terasaka" Kayno said brightly.

"No no no"

"Welcome to love boot camp level two!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

I am an evil genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnnn. And Terasaka is confined to more romance training! Hope you enjoyed and I'll see you next time!!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	33. How I was tortured, again.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More love boot camp! And things are getting serious!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so so much to all of you who have left kudos! We're up to 61 kudos!! (My goal is 75)
> 
> I hope you enjoy the new chapter! :)

"I. Am. An. Idiot" I said for the sixteenth time. "Kayano. Is. Brilliant"

This was apparently a love exercise, but I'm pretty sure Kayano was mad at me or something, because I don't think saying how awesome she is counts as love training. 

"Kayano. Is. Brilliant"

Totally not an exercise.

Oh now I know why she's mad. 

*flashback*

I was walking by and randomly decided to say: "Oh, it's only you Kayano. I thought you were the girl in the before breast implant picture"

*End flashback*

Shoulda' known I'd pay for that.

"Alright Terasaka. We're going to play a game to assess your true feelings." Kayano said. "It's called "kick the bucket" 

"What?"

"We're going to ask you some questions and you answer them honestly. If it's something you wouldn't do, you kick the bucket"

"I'M GOING TO DIE!?"

"No. You kick the bucket" Kayano said, pointing to a metal bucket. 

"Ok?"

"Question one. If you had to put the fate of your life in Itona's hands, would you?"

"Are you asking me if I'd let him kill me?"

"Maybe"

"I'm confused"

"COME ON TERASAKA! I'M ASKING IF YOU FULLY TRUST ITONA!"

"OH! OK! YES I DO!" I don't know why I was screaming. 

"Alright, You trust him. Good start."

"Start?"

"Oh we're no where near done!" Kayano said. 

"KICK THE BUCKET!!" Kayano yelled. 

"No."

"Fine. I'll give you a pass since that wasn't a question. Question three..."

*Half an hour later*

"Question fifteen. If someone was picking on Itona, what would you do?" 

"Hurt them! No one messes with Itona but me!"

*An hour later*  
"Question 45. Do you like making Itona happy?"

"Yeah. He has a cute smile...I MEAN! WHATEVER! WHAT DO I CARE!!!

*Two hours later*

"Question 102. What do you like most about Itona?"

"I don't know. He's just different then the rest of the human race. I just like being around him. Plus he's adorable...I MEAN! I LIKE CERTAIN PEOPLE!!!"

*three hours later*

"Ok Terasaka. Last question. Question 208, do you have a crush on Itona?"

"NO THAT'S RIDICULOUS!!!" 

To prove how ridiculous that was I kicked the bucket with all my strength...

"OWWWW!!!!"

The bucket was full of rocks.

"I THINK I JUST BROKE MY FOOT!!!" 

"That should teach you to go against your feelings. Have a nice day Terasaka" Kayano walked out of the room. 

I hopped on one foot out of the classroom, fell down the stairs, and landed on my face.

"Well done Mr. Graceful"

"Hello Itona" 

"What are you doing?"

"I broke my foot. I think. And I'm quite possibly dying."

"Dramatic much?"

"Non sympathetic much?"

"Oh poor baby" Itona said sarcastically. "Better?"

"Sure. Help me"

"I can't. You weigh as much as a giant rock. "

"well thanks"

 

"why did you kick a bucket?" He asked me a little while later when we had gotten me into a chair"

"Long story"

"I have plenty of time"

Like I was gonna tell him what happened.

"My foot is dying"

"I'll call the morgue." 

"But I want it cremated" I whined. I think I was starting to get high on pain.

"Alright then."

"And then I want it put in a nice jar"

"Mmhmm"

"And I want to have a nice service, where we all get up and say nice things about my foot"

"Ok...what?"

"And I'll say, Right foot, you were a good foot. You were my kicking foot. Unfourtunatly that's what killed you. Rest in peace" 

"I'm going to go get you some ice" Itona said, looking mildly weirded out. 

"I thought you were gonna call the morgue!" 

"Your foot might live!" 

I can't believe he put up with my weird pain high-ness.

 

That night I decided to text him just because. 

ME: Hey

ITONA: Is for horses

ME: Ha ha. What are you doing?

ITONA: Being bored on a Tuesday night.

ME: Ok.

ITONA: Why were you kicking a bucket again?

ME: Becuase

ITONA: Idiot

ME: Mean

 

I think I'm losing it. First of all I really wanted to be with Itona, and now I'm denying it, and now I want to be with him even more.

I think I broke myself. But do I have a crush on Itona?

Yes.

Yep. I totally broke myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! Hope you enjoyed! Anyways, if you guys like this, you all should try writing a ItoTera fic! If you already have an account, go for it!! If you don't it's super easy to get one! I'm happy to read anything anyone writes! The world needs more ItonaxTerasaka!!
> 
> As always, you only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	34. How I was chained to an idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaaaack! It's been forever since i updated, I know, but now I'm back with a new chapter! I'll make it extra random for you all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't actually write a summary in the summary box, but in my world summaries are spoilers, so you're gonna have to read my chapter to find out what happens! (Isn't that the point of chapters?)

"Itona!"

Terasaka yelled my name for, oh, about the sixtieth time. I wasn't answering to see how angry it would make him.

"Itona! I'm three feet away! Come here!"

Sixty one

"Itona!"

sixty two

"ITONA!!"

sixty three

"ITONAAAAAA!"

Sixty four

"Fine" The idiot huffed, walking over to me.

"Hi"

"Don't you hi me! I almost died from...laryngitis!"

"That's nice"

 

Terasaka has been acting weirder then usual again. I found myself remembering random things, like the time he almost found out the fact that I had tentacles. He forgot, which is good. Terasaka's pretty good at getting what he wants.

"So. what's going on with you?" Terasaka said.

Only migraines, overly aggressive moods and dying of guilt because I'm keeping secrets from you.

"Nothing" 

"But you're the oh so exciting Itona Horibe! Something must be going on with you!"

Only battling my emotions about you, and fighting the urge to kiss you

"Nope. Nothing. Nada" I said

"Yeesh. You need some excitement in your life." Terasaka said.

YEAH! ASK ME OUT ON A DATE OR SOMETHING!!!

"I guess" 

"Great! I have science homework! Come do it for me!"

Idiot...

"That's not exciting." 

"Sure it is!"

"Can't we do something better?" I said.

"Let me think..."

"I'll check back with you next year" I said, trying not to laugh at his "thinking face" 

"Oh come on! I'll think of something...eventually!"

He's so stupid. Just freaking ask me! Anything!

 

"Itona?"

"What!?" damn it! I sound interested in what he's saying!

"Are you ok? You seem beyond distracted"

"I...have a lot on my mind" 

"You've changed a lot"

"How?!" I demanded. Has he noticed how I feel. Oh god. Is he going to abandon me...

"You've gotten more human. I like it. It now feels like I'm talking to a human" 

"Gee thanks" 

"No, i mean it. You used to never smile and hardly ever speak, but now you're usually pretty happy"

"Mostly when I'm around you" ITONA YOU IDIOT! WHY WOULD YOU ADMIT THAT!

"I know why" Terasaka said gravely.

"W-why?"

"It's because...I'm so awesome no one can take it, so your usually silent self is forced to retreat in my presence!"

"Oh. Ok"

"Now! Back to doing something interesting. Kayano texted me and told me to come see her if I wanted to see something cool. Care to join me?"

"Whatever"

"I'll take that as a yes! Away we go!"

 

"Alright. Hold still" Kayano was saying. Terasaka was standing blindfolded, in the middle of a circle of girls. 

"I take it back! This is not fun! Itona get me out of here!"

"Not much I can do" 

"Well thanks"

"Any time" 

"Hold still Itona" Kayano said, and before I knew it, I had been hand cuffed to Terasaka.

"What the...

 

Terasaka said the exact same thing as the blindfold was removed.

"What did you do this for?" he asked, examining the handcuffs. 

"Oh Terasaka. You'll thank me eventually." Kayano said, walking off.

"So now what?" I asked, still not fully comprehending what just happened. 

"uhhh, we escape!" Terasaka said. 

"Ok"

 

Escaping was not as easy as is sounded. For one thing those handcuffs were on tight. And the other thing was that walking was hard because we were chained together.

"If you'd just let me carry you we'd be able to walk without tripping every two inches." Terasaka said.

"I said no! And how will carrying me help?"

"The height difference would...cancel out or something. Please?"

"I'd rather fall on my face, roll down a hill and get my right hand eaten by land sharks"

"And after that?"

"Idiot" 

 

We eventually made it to Terasaka's house.

"Now to become Houdini and escape!" Terasaka said dramatically. 

I now think that Houdini was actually magical, because it was impossible to escape from handcuffs...If you were me and Terasaka

"I'm gonna get a hacksaw" Terasaka said.

"what? No! You'll saw your hand off, or worse, mine!"

"Jeez! Don't you trust me with sharp things?"

"NO!"

"What? I trust you with sharp things!" 

"Cuz I'm not the one that has a scar from playing the knife game"

"Alright, dumb choice. Now let me free us!"

"NO!"

"If I cut you you can cut me"

"A limb for a limb"

"Ok"

"A head for a head"

"Ok..."

"A life for a life"

"You'd already be dead by the time I'm done with half of those!"

"I will come back and haunt you"

"Itona the angry spirit. Now that's scary" 

"I know"

"Now can I cut us free?"

"NO!" 

"What's your problem..hang on, you trust me with sharp things!"

"What? No way!"

"Yeah you do! You've made me use a knife when we were working on our electronics project!"

"Uh, still. No cutting!"

"Nice try! What's the real reason you're not letting me?"

"That...that is the real reason!" 

"Suuure. I guess I'll go get the hack saw and start cutting us free while you decide weather to tell me."

"Nonononononono! It's ok. I'm perfectly fine with this arrangement for the rest of my life."

 

No way am I ever telling him the real reason. 

"Come on! It's only a hacksaw!"

"Were his famous last words" 

"Chill out. Jeez. You're acting weird"

"Am not"

"Are so"

"Are not"

"Are so"

"Are not"

"Are so"

"Are not"

"I'm cutting us free"

"NO!" 

"What's the deal? You're acting like I just gave the command for your death" Terasaka said.

"With you, anything is possible"

"Don't be mean. I'm trying to help you" 

"You are?"

"Yeah. I'm a nice guy"

"You are?" 

"Don't make me hit you" 

 

Terasaka, you are so freaking stupid. I am not going to tell you anything, even though I really really want to. Damn you lack of emotions! I hate these self conversations in my head. 

 

"Please tell me" 

Woah, Terasaka asking nicely like he actually wants to help me? Well this is new. What's the world coming to?

"Tell me or I'm getting a chainsaw"

"WHAT?! No! Rewind! You did not just up the sharpness factor!"

"I did so! Aren't I awesome?"

"...no..." 

"So. Before I seek out a ninja sword, would you like to tell me why I can't hacksaw us outta here?"

"Just gimme the hacksaw and I'll cut us free"

"Nope! You gotta tell me first! Hey! This is like a therapy session"

"When I got to a therapy session where I'm chained to the therapist, I'll let you know"

"Cool! I'm a therapist!" 

"No! I never said that"

"Alright. I'm ready. Share your feelings!"

"Yeah no"

"Ok. I can wait. I can wait all day" Terasaka said, sitting down. 

"Great" 

"I think I'll sing a song."

"NO! NO SINGING!"

"The Sun wIll CoMe oUT ToMORRROoOoOoOWWWW" 

"Ok! Ok! I'll talk!"

"Bet yOUr boOtOm DoLLAAR tHaT toMOROOOOOOWW!!!"

"Shut up!"

"Ok. But I don't here you talking"

"AlrightfineIhaveissueswithanyoneelseusingasharpobjectaroundmebecauseInowhavefreakingtrustissuesdotothefactthatIwasaexpirementandnowIgetfreakedoutwhenanyoneelsehasaknifeorsomethingandisholdingitabovemyhead"

"What? Was that even a language?"

"Yeah. I guess you missed it. Gimme the saw"

"Ok. I'm gonna assume you said something about...I don't know! say it slower!"

"Meh"

"Please"

"No"

"The sun will come out..."

"Alright, fine. I have issues with anyone else using a sharp object around me because I now have freaking trust issues due to the fact that I was an experiment and now I get freaked out when anyone else has a knife or something and is holding it above my head...so yeah" 

"You poor thing"

"WHAT?!" 

"Jeez, don't kill me. I just...no offense or anything but you deserve lots of sympathy"

"Ok? Hey! What...?"

He was leaning down and hugging me.

"I'm here for you. Sorry for pushing it"

"It's ok?"

" Just hang in there. You're not gonna be alone again easily"

"What?"

"I am possessive of my things Itona Horibe."

"So I'm a thing now"

"Yeah. The best kind"

"Ok?"

 

Later that night Terasaka texted me.

TERASAKA: Somewhere over the rainbow

ME: Ha ha. Go to sleep. It's like four in the morning

TERASAKA: But you're up

ME: I'm nocturnal

TERASAKA: Ok. Goodnight.

 

I was getting ready to go to bed when Kaede texted me

 

KAEDE: Hi

ME: Hi

KAEDE: How'd you like all the alone time with your lovable idiot? 

ME: ...

ME: I'm going to bed

KAEDE: You liiiike him

ME: Shut up if you know what's good for youuuuuu

 

COME ON ROMANCE! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Hang on.

ME: You set me up

KAEDE: Maybe I did, maybe I didn't

ME: You did. I don't know how you did but you did

KAEDE: Night Itona :)

ME: Hey! Don't leave!

ME: KAEDE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! See ya next time!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!
> 
> (If the catchphrase isn't working, I'm sorry. And 67 kudos. Wow!)


	35. How I went on an epic quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER!!!!!! (Bad Liv! Very bad Liv!)
> 
> I'm even on spring break, but I'm lazy and have not updated. (I am a shameful being)
> 
> Ok, enough with the pity party! Time for the chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An Epic quest takes place in this chapter. Why? Because I'm not quite sure where the plot of this story is going. Just kidding! Yeah I do! Just a little rising action for ya!

"Pleeeease Itona! Do something with me! I'm bored!"

Apparently Itona does not care if one is dying of boredom. I swear my gravestone is going to say, Here lies Terasaka. He was an Ok guy. Who am I kidding? He was an awesome guy! Unfortunately he died at a young age. He died of boredom because his friend, not mentioning names, ITONA!, didn't cure him of his boredom. Now Terasaka is dead. Very very dead.

Something like that. I don't know. Is that too long for a gravestone? Better make it a monument.

"Fine. You want something to do?" Itona's voice interrupts my visions of the Terasa-monument. 

"Yeah I do!"

"Ok. I dare you to eat your weight in yogurt."

"CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!! But wait. Where am I gonna find a buttload of yogurt"

"Get creative. Better yet, ask someone else"

"No mean friend! You're gonna help me find yogurt. Hey! Let's rob the grocery store down the street from here"

"I've got nothing better to do"

"Yay! Friend! Let's go become fugitives!" 

"Why do I hang out with you?"

 

We did not become fugitives. We decided against the whole yogurt plan and ended up just going to my house.

"We should explore my attic!" I yelled

"No. Do the words "Haunted Furby" ring any bells?

Yes it did. Mr. Furbo still lives at Hazama's house as far as I know. 

"Yeah, but I never had any other furbys. We're good"

 

Soon the brave explorers, Terasaka and Itona ventured into the dark scary attic, unaware of what lies in store, because Terasaka hasn't cleaned in there for eight long years. Actually it was three months ago, but Terasaka didn't get much done due to a haunted furby.

He's fairly certain some sort of evil clown is hiding somewhere, so that's why Itona is going first. 

"Terasaka, how do you navigate up here? I can't see anything...except for a portrait of what seems to be a fat child in a sailor suit"

"My parents have weird taste" 

"Clearly" 

 

As the brave explorers continued on into the depths of weird decor, they made a startling discovery. They had gotten lost. 

"This is your fault for making us come in here!"

"Me?! This is your attic, and you dragged me in here!!"

"Ok, true. Which way!?"

"THIS IS YOUR HOUSE!!!"

As the explorers argued, the brave Terasaka made a discovery. A discovery that would change the next four hours forever. 

"Hey Itona, look! A box!"

"Wow. Never seen one of those before" 

"Quit with the sarcasm. Look at the seal on it. It's from my old elementary school! This is from, like, kindergarten or something."

"You weren't thrown out?"

"I was an intelligent kindergartner!!" 

"It seems things have only gone backwards from then"

"What's with all the sarcasm today? I found a box! From kindergarten! Let's celebrate"

"Yay" 

"Alright Itona the unhelpful. You wanna investigate my box or not."

"It's not like I'm trapped in an attic or anything."

 

The brave explorers tried to open the box, but it was taped shut.

"The box is taped shut!!!"

"Terasaka"

"It's sealed forever!!!"

"Terasaka"

"Think of the lost memories!!!"

"Terasaka. I'll open it for you. I have a pocket knife."

"Oh. Why do you have that?"

"Because." 

 

Once they opened the box, they realized it was too dark to see what was in the box, and had to find the way out of the attic, which wasn't too hard to find if the explorers actually tried to look. And weird narration ends now.

When we got out, the first thing we did was fight over who got to look in the box first.

"It's my box!!"

"I opened it! Lemme see!"

"No way shrimp!!"

I held it above his head and laughed at him as he tried jumping for it.

Short people are fun. Until they kick you in the knee. 

"Owwwwww"

"Let me see the box."

"We'll both look ok? Owwwww. My knee!! I think it's dead! OH NO!!!"

"You're fine. Now let's see the box.

When we opened it, we found a rolled up piece of paper and a note.

Dear future me, this is your kindergarten self.  
Hi! Do you still like jelly beans, because I do! Jelly beans are awesome! Anyways, this has a point. Remember that treasure hunt Mommy and Daddy made for us? Well I made another one! Now you and whatever awesome friends you have now can go on a treasure hunt. I made a map of all my favorite places and I left clues at each one. The first clue is in the rolled up map! Good luck!  
Love, Ryoma Terasaka, age 5.

"That's adorable" Itona said, smirking at me.

"I was five! So do you wanna go on the treasure hunt or not?"

"Hmmm"

"Come on! You can't let a five year old down!"

"Fine. And let me say, I like the part about awesome friends."

"You're ok at most"

" Bitch, please. I'm fabulous" 

"Whatever you say"

 

When we unrolled the map, we did find the first clue. 

Remember all day, we wanted to play, but Mommy said no, and took our toy cars away. But we snuck out, after pretending to pout, to a place far away, where cars race all day

"Not bad for a five year old" Itona commented

"I was, um, going through a rhyming phase" 

"Cool. I suck at rhyming"

"Nah, rhyming's easy"

"No it's not"

"I'm more of a haiku guy myself"

"Let's hear one"

"Here we choose to stand,  
Terasaka, Itona,  
We are so awesome"

"Not bad. Now what about the clue?"

 

I had to wrack my brain. A place with cars. Man I loved cars at age five. I had all sorts of little toy cars. My favorite one was one that was painted just like my favorite car at the go kart place...

"THAT'S IT!" I yelled, making Itona jump.

"Jeez! ever here of an indoor voice? And what's it?"

"Sorry, and come on! I know where we have to go!"

 

I dragged Itona all the way down to the go kart place, which was still there.

"Yes!"

"Wow. Look at the craftsmanship on those cars. So professional"

"Don't you dare go all mechanic on me. You know I can't understand a word you say when you talk like that"

"I wanna touch em'"

"No! You're here to help me! Not mess with cars!"

 

Before we decided where to search we heard a lot of cursing. Something kinda uncommon in a place for small children

"Why won't the damn car work!" an angry looking mechanic was yelling to himself. A green and purple car was laying on it's side. A car I would know anywhere.

"Hey! That was my favorite car as a kid!" I said, but Itona wasn't there. He was talking to the mechanic, using electronic words.

I didn't understand anything of what he was saying, but he honestly looked pretty happy. Finally the mechanic handed the wrench to Itona.

"Here. You seem to have a better understanding of this then I do. You fix it"

I tried my best to help.

 

"Terasaka, hand me the socket wrench"

"The what?"

"The silver thingy with the circle thingy on top with the thingy that unscrews"

"Oh! That thingy!" I'm pretty sure Itona's learned to speak Terasaka.

After about ten minutes of working, Itona managed to pull something out of the engine thingy with the circular silver unscrewy thingy.

"Gotcha! Terasaka, you're not gonna believe this!"

"What?"

Itona held up a box that looked just like the one in my attic

"No way!"

After the mechanic actually payed Itona, we were on our way. We found a park bench to sit on while we opened it (And I was ignoring my romance meter going ping! during this)

"Here we go! Moment of truth!" I said.

"All I can think about now are bloody organs in a box"

"Ew! Thanks a lot! Keep in mind a five year old planted this!"

"Planted? Is it a bomb or something?"

"NO! I WAS FIVE!" 

"Terasaka the five year old terrorist"

That was enough to cause a laughing fit. Why couldn't life always be this good? I found myself staring at Itona

"What?"

"Hmm?"

"You're staring at me. It's creepy."

I started laughing. "You have moter grease all over you!"

"And yet I still look better then you" Itona said, rubbing at his face

"You're making it worse!"

"I can't see what I'm doing!"

"I'll get it!"

"No! I got it!"

"You look like a raccoon!" 

"You look like a gorilla every day!"

"That's not true"

"Tarzan the monkey man..."

"SHUT UP!" 

Only then I realized that only the entire park was staring at us.

"Let's open the box" I said.

"Yeah"

I tried, but it was like super glued shut.

"EEEEEEEYGH! OPEN SESAME!" I yelled, trying to open it.

Itona took the box and opened it in under a second

"You were doing it wrong"

"Shut up" 

Before we could see what was in the box, a woman walked up to us and said "It's so nice to see a young couple spending time together"

Itona started blushing and I know I was too.

The woman walked away and we sat there in silence for a bit. Then we remembered that we were on an EPIC QUEST and decided to get a move on. 

The next note went like this. 

Yay! Go future me! You found the next clue! Air high five! Anyways, here's the next clue.  
I have a face, but no eyes, only hands  
People look at me all day, but only because I know something they need  
I sing at the hour  
What am I? 

 

"Wow. Riddles too? Five year old Terasaka was a genius" Itona said. 

"I know right! I wish I remembered the answers to these. I wonder what sing at the hour means?"

"Singing at the hour? I couldn't do that. How do you sing exactly at the hour? You'd have to have a perfect eternal clock..." He lapsed into silence. 

"You ok."

"Terasaka. Was there any kind of clock you liked as a kid."

"A clock! Itona, you're a genius! There was one actually. It was a clock that chimed a different song every hour."

" so what are we waiting for?!?!" 

"Well someone's getting into this treasure hunt" 

 

We arrived at the clock ten minutes later. It was exactly how I remembered it. Tall, old looking, the works. 

"Cool" Itona said. I could almost see the wheels in his brain turning, trying to figure out how the clock worked. 

" I say we wait until the hour. That was when I liked to see the clock" I said. 

"Ok"

And then we waited.

I waited for a whole eight minutes. It was very hard. I almost didn't make it. At the hour the clock started playing its a small world. 

" nonononono. Not this song. Anything but that song" Itona groaned, covering his ears

"It's a small world after aaaaaaaaaaaaall" I sang dramatically. Unfortunately i then walked into the clock, knocking a panel off it. 

" you killed it!" Itona said in mock horror. 

"Did not!"

"We'll fix it!"

" I don't know how! You're the fixing guy!"

"Fine. I'll do it alone"

after a brief investigation, Itona discovered that I did not kill it, the panel that fell off was hiding a compartment that was holding...

"A box!" I said.

"I can see that"

"So, open it."

"In a minute. I'm trying to fix this thing"

 

After a minute passed, we opened the box to see yet another note. Here's what it said.

You did it! Only one more clue until you find the treasure! Good luck! Here's the clue (Also, tell daddy that he will never get our toy cars) 

You've almost reached the end of this game  
I hope it wasn't too lame

But to call this challenge slayed  
You must go to where games are played

Hope your arrival's not delayed.

 

"A limerick. Not bad." Itona said. "Why aren't you a quiet, conflicted poet?"

"Because I'm too cool for...HEY! I'M NOT CONFLICTED!!!"

"So, where do you think the clue's talking about"

"Easy. The arcade. Games played? Pretty obvious. And I liked the arcade"

"Ok. We've got our work cut out for us"

 

So we went to the arcade. The only issue is that it's a pretty boss level arcade and has three floors and a million places to hide stuff.

"Oh great" Itona said.

"Do you have something better to do?"

"No"

"Then let us search!" 

 

On one floor of the arcade, we actually saw Kanzaki playing some shooting game, and Sugino probably stalking her. 

"Hey guys" I said. "Do you know a place where a five year old would hide a box?"

Sugino stared at me while Kanzaki didn't seem to know we were there yet.

"What?" He asked. 

"Long story." I said.

"Five year old Terasaka made a treasure hunt for his future self, somehow I got roped in, and a clue lead us here" Itona said. "Not that long of a story"

"Good luck. This place is a maze." Sugino said. "I'd help but..."

"No, we should help" Kanzaki said. 

"I'LL HELP YOU!" Sugino yelled excitedly.

The things people do for love.

 

With the four of us searching, we covered ground pretty quickly, but we still didn't find anything.

"Think about it this way" Kanzaki said. "All the places so far have been places special to Terasaka. What was your favorite place here?"

"Hmmmmm...I guess that would be...I don't know"

"I'm guessing it's something involving destroying things" Itona said. "Something not involving much intelligence"

"HEY!"

"I speak the truth and you all know it" he said walking away.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere" 

Before I could question him, he left the room.

 

Me, Sugino and Kanzaki continued looking, but didn't find anything. 

"Maybe there's nothing here. Maybe someone found it and threw it out?" Kanzaki said.

"Maybe" I said, kinda wanting to give up but not quite. 

"She's right" A voice said behind me, scaring the crap out of me.

"AAAAAAGH! ITONA! WHY DO YOU DO THAT!!"

"Because you react like that. And Kanzaki's right. Someone found it and threw it out"

"How do you know?" 

"I'm psychic"

"REALLY?"

"Of course not"

"So how do you know? and isn't it over if the box is gone?"

"Not quite. I may have hacked the security cameras when I discovered the security room and actually managed to see what the clue said."

"YOU'RE A GENIUS!"

"I know. The note said something like tall protecting, favorite place, sanctuary..."

"I KNOW WHERE THAT IS!" I said. 

"Ok. Where"

"I can't explain it. COME ON!" I yelled, dragging Itona with me.

 

After running for two miles we got to the place. 

"A tree?" Itona asked.

"Stupid huh?"

"No way! Trees are great. The one place I can be tall."

"That's sad"

"Kinda."

I realized something about the tree that was different.

"It's grown like crazy! There was a knot hole where I used to hide things, but it'll be up even higher now."

"Not a problem" Itona said, and started climbing the tree at an insane pace

"How do you do that?"

"Magic, and upper body strength."

I remembered I was Terasaka the master climber and started following. Let me say, A tree is harder to climb then a rock wall.

The tree was very green and leafy, and big, and very tree like. I guess it's supposed to be because it's a tree. 

"Terasaka?" Itona asked in surprise.

"I'm a master climber, remember?"

"Ok?"

I hoped he didn't see me almost fall a few seconds later.

 

We stopped a little while later, and realized how high up we were.

"GAAAAAAH!" (me)

"Cool" (Itona) 

It was a cool view. We could see the E class building from where we were. I leaned back, and got my hand stuck in a knot hole.

"AAAAAH!!"

"I'm guessing it's "knot" funny"

"Shut up!" 

"I could just "leaf" you hanging"

"Quiet!"

"But I could "branch" out and help you"

"NO MORE TREE PUNS!" 

"Ok. I don't have any more." 

"Can you help me now?"

"Sure. It'll take me a few seconds to cut your hand off"

"AAAAAH! NONONONONONONONONONO!!!"

"I'm kidding! I'm not gonna cut your hand off! Too messy."

"That is not a good reason to not cut my hand off." 

After a few minutes we managed to get my hand out of the tree. It was so stuck in there because of a box!

"YES!" I yelled.

"We got the box!"

"No, we got my hand out! And that"

"You gonna open it?"

"No" I said.

"WHAT! Don't tell me I spent four hours for this!"

"look, I've been thinking about this, and I made this treasure hunt back when...my parents weren't fighting. I kinda wanna keep this innocence, well, boxed in. I don't know if you get that..."

"No. I do. Funny how easily something good can vanish."

"Jeez. That's deep."

"Says the poet"

"Ha ha." 

"Recite an epic poem for me"

"No! I don't know any"

"And you wonder why you failed the poetry unit"

"I didn't! You were the one who failed"

"I have no memory of this" 

"Lies!"

 

We sat up in the tree a little longer.

"Hey Itona"

"What?"

"When you said you understood what I was talking about, is that because of your parents, you know.."

"Leaving me? Yeah."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"What?"

"Trying to lighten the mood"

"Oh. Why did the chicken cross the road?"

"I don't know"

"You just screwed up the easiest joke in history!" Itona said, cracking up.

"Well sorry! I didn't think you'd actually go for that!"

"My god Terasaka..." 

We sat there for a little longer in silence. 

"Hey Itona. Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?"

No answer.

"Itona..Oh my god!"

He was doubled over clutching his head breathing heavily. 

"Are you ok! Answer me!" I yelled.

"I'm...ok. Just...a headache...owwwww"

"You're having a migraine or something!" I yelled, freaking out. "Oh my god you're dying! Call nine one one! Oh wait, you can't cause you're dying!!"

"I-I'm not dying. It's going away. I'm fine now."

He did seem normal now. 

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'm good"

"Ok. How long has that been happening?"

"That..that was the first time"

"Nope, you're lying. Don't think I didn't notice you were holding the exact spot where you had the tentacles"

Itona was impressed by my observation skills. "Ok, that happens every once in a while. No cause for concern."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Stop looking at me like I'm gonna drop dead or something!"

"Fine. So answer my question"

"huh?"

"About the chicken!"

"Oh. He was probably trying to escape his overly concerned friend"

"Gee thanks"

"Sure" he said, climbing down. I followed and then tripped, and then fell ten feet and landed on my face.

"Graceful" Itona said, actually being graceful and jumping off a high branch and landing perfectly.

"Showoff."

"Kluzty"

 

Later that night I was googling tentacles. Aside from some gross stuff I never want to think about again, I didn't find anything. Time for drastic measures.

"RITSU!!"

"What? I'm on your phone Terasaka. You don't need to yell" Ritsu said, appearing on my phone. 

"I need you to hack something for me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! Hope you liked this dramatic chapter!
> 
> 74 kudos guys! One away from my 75 kudos goal! YEAH!! 
> 
> If you guys like this and want to see more like it, try and write something like this yourself! I TRIPLE DOG DARE YA! 
> 
> We need to get this ship going more! 
> 
> Hope you liked it and see ya next time!


	36. How things took a turn for the worse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DRAMATIC-NESS! DUN DUN DUNNNN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's up my friends! I'm back and I'm gonna try and update waywayway more often because you wonderful readers have restored my faith in myself!
> 
> And if you haven't already noticed, this story got looooooong! I'm gonna try and keep the plot together, but there's a lot to remember and it takes too long to re read everything now. If you see any lose ends, feel free to shout em out!  
> AMATEUR RE WRITER IN THE HOUSE!
> 
> Now let's get this chapter started!

I.Hate.Social studies. 

I live in one country, why do I have to learn about others!? And forget about crazy huge tests that count for...

"75 PERCENT OF OUR GRADE?!" I yelled, looking at the memo on the board.

"You can read!" Terasaka said. He's been bantering back lately. He does ok on average. 

"I'm dead" I said. 

"No big deal!" Terasaka said boldly. "Ask me a hard question!"

I tried my luck. "What's the difference between north and south america?"

"One's in the north!" Terasaka said.

"I see we're in the same boat"

"What are you talking about? I nailed that!"

"Suuuuuure"

"I was wrong about that. Turns out Terasaka asked/bullied Takebayashi into helping him study, and was actually doing ok in class, while I was completely lost. 

"Did you catch that last question?" he asked me at one point.

"Nope. Not that one. or the one before that, or the one before that, or the one..."

"Ouch. Well number four was about Switzerland's contract with Lichtenstein..."

"Lichten what?"

"Lichtenstein!"

"I'm so screwed"

"Welcome to my world!"

"Ugggggh!"

 

Later I was debating weather to fake my death to get out of the test (Yes, I hate social studies that much) when Terasaka came out of nowhere.

"I can't wait for the questions about Prussia!"

"Oh my god! Stop! Alright, I admit it! You're better at a subject then I am. And it's Russia, not Prussia."

"No. It's Prussia." 

"It...what? AAAGH!"

"But there's also Russia. There are two of em'"

"Just stop it" I said. Alright, I whined.

"I like being better then you" 

"Stop bugging me!"

"You don't like it when the tables turn do you?" 

"I said stop it!"

"Oh so you tease me but don't like it when I tease you? Well I'm not passing this up! Itona's failing! Itona's failing!"

"Stop it or I'll make you regret it!"

I didn't mean to say that. I also didn't mean to say that so angrily. 

"Easy there. I'll stop. Jeez" Terasaka said, holding his hands up in surrender. Before I could say anything else, Hazama came out of nowhere.

"What are you kids doing?"

"Being threatened" 

"Threatening" 

"You two are weird" Hazama says.

"What are you kids doing?" Yoshida said, walking up to us. Is this becoming a thing?

"Being threatened"

"Threatening" 

"Calling them weird" 

Not even a minute later Muramatsu came over to us.

"What are you kids doing?"

"Being threatened"

"Threatening"

"Calling them weird"

"Saying I'm not weird"

Yeah. This is becoming a thing. 

"What are you kids doing?" Koro sensei asked. 

"Being...wait a minute you're not a part of this!" Terasaka yelled.

"But why not children! I'm your teacher!"

"It's weird when you say it!" Muramatsu said. 

"And since I'm this group's mom only I get to say that" Hazama said.

"Woah back up. Why do you get to elect yourself group mom!" Yoshida said.

"Because I'm a girl and the smartest one here"

"I'm smart too!" you know who yelled. "And Itona's the one failing social studies!"

"We're seriously going back to that?!" 

"A student in trouble? TIME FOR AN EMERGENCY STUDY SESSION!" the octopus yelled.

"Thanks a lot" I said as I was dragged into the school building.

 

three hours, thirty two minutes and twenty eight seconds late I still can't tell the difference between Asia and China (I am a hopeless case)

I ended up going to Muramatsu's to meet up with the rest of the gang. (Are we seriously referring to ourselves as the Terasaka gang? I thought we'd have a better name then that)

"How goes the studying?" Terasaka asks. 

"You're still better then I am" I said, thinking of ways to ignore him. 

"Ha! See! I told you!" Terasaka said to Hazama. 

"Congrats. I don't suppose we can get you you to read a book this year?" Hazama asked.

"NO WAY! Yuck! Literature!!"

"Books are good for you!"

"No way! Books give you...dyslexia!"

"No they don't!"

"Alright then Miss Genius. Where does dyslexia come from?"

"I don't know! Ask Koro sensei!"

"No!"

The argument might have gone on longer if Muramatsu hadn't brought us free food at that moment. I think costumers were complaining or something

"Guys! Quiet! People are complaining!"

"Well sorry. Do you know where dyslexia comes from?" 

"No! Terasaka be quiet! You might be offending someone!"

"No way! Itona, am I offending someone?"

"Don't drag me into this! Drag Yoshida!"

"No way! This is your issue!"

"Is not! Terasaka's an issue that we have to share!"

"I'M NOT AN ISSUE!"

"Quiet guys!"

Not the relaxing night I probably needed, but a night spent insulting Terasaka is a night well spent.

 

The next day was the day of the test. I tried to study for longer, but I ended up counting ceiling tiles over learning about the Axis alliance in world war two. I was in for it.

I actually only ended up filling in three of the answers. They were all multiple choice so I was thinking about trying my luck on some of them, but ended up giving up.

Since Koro sensei grades things at mach twenty, we usually get our tests back at the end of the day. I was willing to bet money that I got a...

"A b minus? There's no way I did that well" I said looking at my test like it was a foreign item.

"Maybe you did better then you thought" Terasaka shrugged. He'd gotten an A minus. Probably the best grade he'd ever receive in his life.

"I guess I..." I trailed off.

There were way more answers filled in then three on my test.

"Hang on" I said.

"Trying to comprehend that I'm better then you?" Terasaka said. 

Well I was trying to comprehend something. 

"And shrimp, the capital of Russia isn't Prussia."

Suddenly it made sense.

"You filled in my answers!"

"*Cough* did not! Catch ya later!"

I'll never understand the things he does.

 

Later that day Kaede and I were supposed to meet for another tentacle practice session. We've both retained the strength we had the first time. I wonder if she keeps getting migraines?

"Alright you two. No more completely demolishing practice dummies. I owe the company that we loaned them from about five times more then three of my paychecks." Karasuma said.

"Go get Terasaka or something. He's a dummy" Kaede said to me. I had to agree to that statement. 

"No. You two do not get to batter Terasaka" Karasuma said.

"Awwww" I said. Karasuma gave me a look. 

"I've been meaning to talk to you about all of this" he said, acting like this was a painful subject. "This is dangerous. It seems that there was a slight flaw in the serum. This normally shouldn't be a concern, but since you've been injected before..."

"What are you saying?" Kaede says. "Are you saying we'll go out of control again?"

"Possibly" Karasuma says, running his fingers through his hair. He looks years older suddenly. 

"How do you know anything's happening. We're normal" Kaede continues. 

"We don't for sure. We have a vague idea of symptoms, but it might not be the best idea to wait it out. We could remove the tentacles now. It would be painful but if it keeps you two alive..."

"No!" We've spoken together.

"We've worked to hard for this..."

"Can't give up now..."

"...might be our only chance..."

"...world die if we fail..."

"...I want to be an assassin!"

"...I want to be strong!"

Our last comments have concerned him. This I can see. 

"I'll wait a little longer. But keep in mind I will extract them by force if I have to. I'll battle you if I have to. Anything to keep this class safe."

I can see now how much this class means to Karasuma now. He's be a good father. Not like mine.

"What are the symptoms. Just in case something happens. It'll be best if we know if anything starts" Kaede says. 

"Alright." Karasuma says, and I can tell he's admiring how bold she's being. "The taste of blood in your mouth, migraines, aggression, urges to harm something, voices, dizzy spells, loss of personality, and eventually you lose control of yourself"

This is intense, and at least half of it has happened to me. This isn't good. I don't want to lose this power again, but maybe I have to. Should I sacrifice myself in exchange for the world? I don't know...

"Don't look so worried Mr. Karasuma. We're stronger then that. Nothing's going to happen."

"Right" I say. "We're ok."

"You also should avoid touching anti Koro sensei materials and water."

"We got it"

"No water."

"We're ok! Really"

 

As we were leaving the practice, Mr. Karasuma told us more.

"We're assuming you two are at a critical stage, so there's a few things you need to be careful of. Don't let yourselves get too warm or cold, don't lose your tempers, And if you hear any trace of the tentacle's voices, don't answer."

This whole thing was starting to get a little complicated. Just a little. 

Of course it didn't take long for something to happen after that. 

 

The next day we were inside for math. I'm ok at math but I'd rather be doing something else.

"Math math math" Terasaka was saying in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I heard if you say math repeatedly while doing math, you'll get more right answers."

"There's no way that's true"

"We'll find out. Math math math math..."

I'm pleased to report that he got zero questions right.

"Dang it! I thought the internet was scientific!" Terasaka said, looking at the zero on his worksheet.

"Brains are supposed to be scientific too. It doesn't seem that you have one. I guess you're a miracle of science."

"Aw yeah! WAIT A SECOND!"

I was halfway outside but Terasaka catches up with me.

"Mean mean mean mean mean" he says messing with my hair. "Why are you so mean! Be nice! The world is a nice place! Add to the niceness!"

"No"

"Niceness is nice! Nice is nice! Ice rhymes with nice, WOAH!" And he falls down the stairs.

"Might be a good idea to watch where you're going"

"Shut up" Terasaka mumbles into the dirt.

"Burying Terasaka alive without me?" Hazama asks walking over.

"What? No!" Terasaka yells, jumping up. "I'm too handsome to die!"

"No way. I'm handsomer!" Yoshida says

"Please. He who makes ramen is the handsomest. Do you see what cooking does to this complexion?" Muramatsu said, joining in. 

"Oh boy" Hazama said. "What I wouldn't give for another girl in this group. Hey Kayano, ever think of joining this gang?" 

Kayano smiled. "Thanks, but I don't think I could spend as much time as you do around Terasaka"

"I HEARD THAT!" Terasaka yelled. 

"It takes skill" Hazama said. "A lot of skill"

"Unimaginable skill" I added. "it's a miracle our brains haven't imploded from the circle of idiocy that surrounds Terasaka.

"I HATE YOU!" Terasaka yelled at me.

 

Later that day, I found myself staring at Koro sensei dressed as a bug.

"What?"

"Cool huh. This was part of our best assassination attempt" Terasaka said. He was showing me videos that E class used to trap koro sensei on an island.

"Too bad you weren't there yet. We could've used you" Terasaka said. 

"You know it. I'm only one of the best assassins in the class" I was being sarcastic but Terasaka was nodding. 

"You have a point."

"Sorry?"

"Everyone calls Karma or Nagisa the strongest, but they're up front about their power. Now you and Kayano were all about timing. You still are. I don't know how you build those robotic thingies"

"Those aren't thingies! You offend me!"

"Fine! Robotic junk!"

"No way! You're junk. My metallic beauties are better then you'll ever be!"

"So harsh! Tell me Itona. What can a robot do that I can't?"

"Math, Science, Read stuff"

"I CAN READ!!"

"Prove it!"

"No! Books are hazardous to your health!" 

That conversation left me thinking. Am I really just as strong as I was before? 

 

Kayano came up to me during the last class of the day. 

"Do you feel weird?"

"Careful. That's a Terasaka question. One never wants to go down the Terasaka path."

"I'm serious! I just feel...off." Now I noticed her hand was over her neck. 

"How off" I said, moving back a bit, not wanting to get a tentacle to the skull. 

"Off" she said quietly. 

"Mr. Karasuma!" I said, debating weather to make a run for it. 

"Everyone outside!" Karasuma commanded, preparing for the worst. "Not you" he said to me. "I might need you to restrain her" 

This isn't good. 

Koro sensei was off going who knows where, and Bitch-sensei was thankfully going with Karasuma's orders. 

Mr. Karasuma was standing over Kaede, anti sensei knife in hand. She didn't seem to notice we were there. 

Her eyes widening was the only warning I had. Her tentacles slammed into me. 

I hit the classroom wall. everything became blurry. 

"ITONA!" Karasuma yelled, bringing me back. 

Her tentacles were everywhere at once. She was holding back in the practice sessions. She's...stronger.

 

I felt someone shaking me. My eyes were closed. When did I fall over?

"What?" I said opening my eyes. Karasuma was looking down at me. "Kaede..."

"Was taken by government officials two minutes ago. They'll remove her tentacles. It was too much for her."

"So what..."

"She got you in the head. I'm surprised you woke up at all" Blunt. Very blunt Mr. Karasuma (Then again, I do know about blunt)

He looks tired again. And tortured. He seems like he blames himself for this little incident. 

"Go outside." Karasuma says, and i have more sense then to argue.

 

"SHRIMP!" Terasaka yells running over to me. "You're alive!"

"And so are you"

"What happened in there? When you didn't come out I was worried, I mean, where were you?" 

Idiot.

"I was inside. Where else?"

"But why!?" There's no avoiding this question.

"There was an incident only I could help with" There we go. That answer makes sense. Time to change the subject. "You were worried about me?"

"Tch, No way! I just notice when people are missing"

"And then come running at them like you haven't seen them in three years?"

"Ummm, so how about that new movie guys?"

I know exactly which strings to pull.

 

In all the confusion I left my stuff inside and made the gang wait for me when I went to go get it. I was on my way out when I heard Mr. Karasuma talking to Bitch sensei.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" She screamed. I guessed Karasuma had told her about the plan. 

"I didn't expect it to go this poorly. But the flaw in the serum was no accident"

My blood turned to ice.

"What do you mean Karasuma?"

"Someone intentionally undid some important components of the safer serum. Maybe it was a spy for Shiro, maybe someone acting on his own. We don't know"

"So Kayano's out of the picture. Itona?"

"Still has the tentacles. I thought he'd be more of a problem to be honest. He craved the tentacles' power more then Kayano."

"Oh? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD GO HORRIBLY WRONG?!?" The bitch is mad and there's no stopping her now. 

"No one could have seen this coming" Karasuma says, surprisingly calm. "The only issue is that Itona may be past the point of extraction."

"What?! Are you saying we wait until the kid bites it?"

"Possibly" Karasuma says slowly. "The one way to ensure survival would be to tell the octopus, but maybe there's something to be salvaged of this assassination plan."

"ARE YOU CRAZY!" dang, Bitch sensei can yell. 

"I'm figuring it out. I'll have to contact the government."

"You'll what? Karasuma come back here! Don't walk away! KARASUMA!!!" and that was the end of that conversation. 

Two minutes later I was still standing there. So I die? That's it? No one's going to even try to keep me alive for the sake of killing the octopus? They shouldn't of saved me the first time. Kaede's lucky. She gets out of this alive. I was right, no one cares. I don't want to die...

"Two minutes you said" Terasaka said, coming out of nowhere. "That was fifteen. Get lost or something?" He means it jokingly, but I must have had some weird freaked out expression on my face and his facial expression turned to concern. 

"Somethin' wrong?" 

"N-no. I'm fine. Are we going?" 

"What's wrong? My god! You're shaking!" he has his hand on my arm. I didn't know I was shaking but I can feel it now. 

"Really, I'm ok"

"No you're not! People don't just act like this!"

"I'm fine, and what do you care?"

"I care a lot! I saved your life once and I'm not letting you go that easily!" 

Does he know? He sounds like he knows!

"So are you coming? If you're so fine, prove it by walking"

I could walk just fine thankfully.

"Alright, but I'm keeping an eye on you" Terasaka says.

 

At the restraunt I can barely keep my thoughts straight. I want to be strong, I don't want to die, want to be strong, nobody cares, strong, I want to live, must be stronger, should I tell koro sensei? Stronger stronger stronger, I don't want to die, I want to be the strongest. I will be the strongest. I'll die, I'll be strong if it kills me...

"Hello?" Terasaka says, shaking me. "Anyone alive in there?"

Currently, yes. I don't know for how much longer. 

"I swear shrimp. You have this way of making me worry about you" Terasaka says, running his fingers through his hair.

"Well stop then." I said. 

"You're weird" Terasaka says shaking his head. "Now who wants to see how far I can stick these chopsticks up my nose!"

Stupid stupid idiot. I'll miss you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! This is getting dramatic-er! Anyways YOU GUYS DID IT! The goal was 75 kudos, we now have 78 kudos! You guys are so awesome! Can we raise the kudos to 90? (I honestly don't care if you do or not. I'm happy I got this many!)
> 
> I can't believe this many people liked this! I am sosososososo greatful! Well then, you only live life once so be sure to Livitup! Bye!


	37. Terasaka in Wonderland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka ends up in Wonderland after receiving a dramatic head injury (nothing serious, just knocking himself out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking through all the tags on this story and realized that it was tagged comedy! Lately the last few chapters have been very dramatic and I thought I'd take an intermission break and write something random. I've had a Alice in Wonderland thing going on lately, so I thought I'd do something with that, and Ceann aisteach gave me an idea about this a while ago so I thought I'd use that idea. Also, we are at 81 kudos people! nine away from our 90 goal! (Super happy you guys like this!)
> 
> That's it for these notes, lets get started!

"TAKE IT BACK!" I yelled. Karma had decided to predict me and Itona's wedding, which should have sounded ridiculous, but it was Karma talking so I got pissed off. 

"Why don't you make me?" he suggested with that satanic smile of his, which lead to me chasing him down the street. 

"Terasaka, Karma, where are you going?!" The octopus had wailed. 

"Hey! Let me film this!" Nakamura yelled, running after us with her phone out. 

"I need to see this!" Itona had commanded, sprinting after us. 

So the four of us were sprinting down the highway. It was sunny, and I was partially blinded. The only way I could follow Karma was by listening to that maniacal laugh. 

"Coming you dumb oaf?, oops, better look out!" Karma called.

"What do you-" 

CLANG! was the sound of my head hitting the telephone pole.

"Oh my god! He's dead!" was the last thing I heard before it all went black...

 

Owwwww! Stupid Karma! Why did he make me run into a stupid telephone pole! owowowowowowowow! Wait, why am I in a forest? 

When I opened my eyes I was laying in a forest that looked like it was straight out of a book of fairy tales. 

"What the heck?"

I wonder if this is real!? I reached forward to touch a flower...and it turned into a turtle, then my Nana, then a clock with wings and flew away.

"WHAT THE HECK!!"

"Ha! You should have seen the look on your face!" said a familiar sarcastic voice. 

"Wha? Itona?" I asked, looking around. There was no one around as far as I could see.

"Bet you're feeling pretty lost right meow" Itona said. 

"Huh? Where are you?" I said looking around. I was still alone.

"Behind you" a voice said in my ear.

I turned around. No one there. I turned back to where I was facing before..."GAAAAAAAH!"

"Ah. You can see." 

It was Itona but it wasn't Itona. For one thing this Itona had this creepy smile. His eyes were also slitted like a cat, and did he have claws? Looking closer I saw he had slivery cat ears poking out of his hair. And even weirder a white and sliver striped tail. 

"Who, wha?"

He was wearing dark grey cut off pants and a silver vest over a white shirt. He was also wearing a scarf that was striped like his tail, and no bandanna. 

"Who are you?!" I yelled. 

"You know who I am" Itona/not Itona said shrugged.

"Itona?" 

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm Itona, I'm not Itona, you're Alice but not Alice"

"What does that mean...did you call me Alice?"

"Of course. Alice is Alice and you are Alice and Alice is you but you are not Alice but Alice is you" 

"Huh?"

"Lemme break it down for you" Itona said, walking closer to me. "You wear the dress, you're Alice"

I looked down. "GAAAAAAAH!"

Gone were my normal clothes. In their place was a blue dress with a white apron. I was wearing striped tights and little black shoes, and a bow in my hair?!?

"Real cute Alice. You pull off that look" Itona/not Itona/maybe Itona said.

"I'm not Alice. I'm Terasaka."

"No, you're Alice. You're in Wonderland. If you're in Wonderland you're Alice, and if you're Wonderland you in Alice" 

"Huh?"

"Alice Alice Aliiiiice" 

"I'm not Alice! And I'm not in Wonderland!"

"Sure Alice. Now if you're Alice, and you're in Wonderland, who am I?"

That grin, not making sense, those adorable cat ears, I mean, feline add ons, no way.

"Don't tell me you're the Cheshire Cat!"

"So you've heard of me-ow." Itona said purring. 

"No way. No way." I said, starting to freak out. 

"Uh oh. Can't take it huh?" Itona/Cheshire cat said, watching me. 

"THIS CAN'T BE REAL!"

Itona/Cheshire slapped me across the face. "That feel real to you? It felt real to me-ow"

"Say that again"

"Me-ow?"

"Ha! That's adorable!"

Itona blushing with kitty ears made this whole thing not so bad. 

"Shut up Alice. I'm a cat. I can't help it."

Out of curiosity I reached over and scratched him behind the ears, right where my real cats like it. He started purring.

"Ha! This is great!" I said. Then I felt claws.

"OWWWW!"

"You don't touch me! I'm not some pet cat!" Itona snapped. "I'm the Cheshire Cat, one of the strongest beings here!" that weird smile was back. "Good luck getting through this place without me!" 

I watched as he faded into nothingness.

"Wait no! Itona come back!" I said. I don't think he was coming back. "dang it"

Guess I'm on my own.

So I'm in Wonderland, I guess, and I'm Alice, I guess, and Itona's the Cheshire Cat, I guess...I'm really confused. 

"ITONA! COME BACK!" I yelled. "PLEASE?!"

"Well because you asked so nicely" A voice said behind me, scaring me.

"AAAAAAAGH!"

"Is that how you say hello in the other world?" Itona asked innocently. 

"Oh thank god!" I said, hugging him. Surprise, Cat Itona likes being hugged as much as regular Itona, but Cat Itona has claws. 

"OW!"

"Jeez Alice. Personal space. Now come on. We don't want the queen to know you're here"

"Queen?" I asked nervously. 

"Of hearts. She likes to cut off the visitor's heads, but I'll protect you" 

"Thanks?" I said nervously. 

"Eh, it's alright. I like you Alice, besides, can't leave something this dumb in the woods."

"HEY! ITONA..."

"That's not my name" Itona singsonged. "You can call me...Cheshire for now. Names have power. Why do you think I call you Alice?"

"To drive me nuts?"

"That, and to hide your real name. Don't tell anyone your name, names have power. But it is fun to drive you nuts." 

"I hate you"

"Same Alice. Same"

 

After three hours of walking, my striped tights were riding up. 

"Can we stop? My tights are going in places they shouldn't"

"Sure" Ito...Cheshire said, Disappearing and reappearing in a tree. Some things never change. 

"Can I just call you Itona? This is getting confusing"

"Everything's confusing here" Ito...Cheshire said, stretching out on the branch. 

"Will you come closer? I can't have a conversation when you're like, fifty feet away."

"Close enough?" Ito..oh screw it. Itona was wayyyyy close now. Staring me down from an inch away. 

"Jeez! Yes! That's close!" I shoved him back. He fell over laughing, then started batting at my feet.

"You're weird"

"I prefer mad. We are in Wonderland after all."

"Alright then. If we're in Wonderland, tell me about it"

"What do you want to know?" Itona said, lazily stretching out on his back.

"Everything"

"Ok. When two people love each other very much..."

"GAAAH! Not everything everything! Wonderland Everything you dumb cat!"

"Coming from a dumb human I find that very amusing. But I'll tell you. Wonderland isn't an actual land, more of a dreamland. We get frequent visitors here, and they usually freak out, say, why are you part cat, run off, meet some other psychos, get caught by the queen and off with their heads."

"So you look like Itona to everyone?"

"Nah. I'm actually a striped cat with a creepy smile. I just take on the form of something familiar to preserve the poor visitor's minds. Anyways, the Queen doesn't like when visitors come, so she gets rid of em'. The only one to survive was this girl named Alice, and she imagined me as a pink cat, so I'm gonna say I don't like her..."

"So what's your role here?" I interrupted, mildly freaked out. 

"I'm a guide. I can lead visitors on the right path, or trick them..."

"Um" I said stepping back.

"Don't worry. I'm not tricking you. I like you Alice." 

"Ok then..."

"Hey, just because this world seems safe, doesn't mean it is. You gotta be on your guard..." Itona paused. His ears flicked and he disappeared.

"HEY! IF YOU'RE A GUIDE, COME BACK AND GUIDE ME!!!!" I yelled, but I was alone again. 

 

"OHHH I'M HIKIN' THROUGH THE WOOD! THROUGH THE WOOD I AMMMMMM!!!" I sang. It was another song I learned in my childhood. I was trying to pass the time while I walked, and also hoped Itona would show up to tell me to shut up. 

Before I could sing the second half of the song, a white and blue blur came out of nowhere and slammed into me. I was hit by what seemed to be a pocket watch in the face.

"HEY!! WHAT THE...Nagisa?"

It was Nagisa, sort of. He still had those dopey pigtails, but he also had a pair of white rabbit's ears. He was wearing a white and blue tailcoat, and a small top hat on his head. He was wearing boots.

"I'm so sorry!" Nagisa-rabbit said. "I don't have time for this! I'm late again dang it! Shouldn't of stopped and talked to the hatter, I'm such a stupid rabbit..."

"The white rabbit?" I guessed. 

"Yes?" Nagisa said, looking up. Bunny Nagisa was pretty cute too, but nothing would ever top kitty Itona. 

"Uh..what time is it?" I asked. It seemed like a good question. 

"I don't have time to check the time! I'm late! I have to get to the queen's palace!" he ran off.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" I yelled.

"I don't have time! No seconds or hours or minutes! I'm late!" was the shouted response. 

"EVERYONE HERE IS CRAY-ZEE!" I yelled to no one in particular. No one in particular answered. 

"We're all mad here" 

"Itona!" I yelled as he materialized beside me. 

"Alice!" He yelled with mock excitement. "Not dead yet I see"

"Not yet" I said proudly. "So now what?" 

"Eh, depends where you want to go. Doesn't matter to me-ow"

"I love when you do that" 

"Stupid Alice" 

"Mean cat. Hey, heard there's a mad hatter. Is everyone in this crap hole gonna look like someone I know?" 

"Sure." Itona said, batting at his own tail. I guess there's a lot of ways to entertain yourself when you're a cat. 

"Well I wanna go exploring" I said.

"Ok. I'll go with you" Itona said. "I'm bored right now. I think I'll find someone to annoy"

"How are you not Itona?" I muttered. 

 

After walking a ways, I longed for something I didn't have in this world.

"I wish I had pants" I said, scratching at my dress. 

"And I wish I had intelligent company, but hey, we all can't get what we want."

"You're MEAN!" I yelled. 

Itona just laughed. 

Soon we heard voices up ahead.

"Hello?" I asked stupidly. 

"Quiet you idiot! That could be the jabberwock!" 

"The jabber-what now?"

"I'll tell you later" 

I'll say right now, Itona had a much easier time hiding as he could turn invisible. I had to hide behind a rock. What I saw was a familiar sight.

"Yoshida? Muramatsu?"

They were dressed like color blind twins. They were both wearing yellow and purple striped pants except Yoshida had horizontal stripes and Muramatsu had vertical. They were wearing white lacy shirts with brown-with-orange-polka-dot jackets. They had huge green bow-ties and giant red shoes. They looked stupid.

"The heck are you wearing?" I asked. 

"oh hi Alice!" Yoshida said. "New hair bow?"

"Now I know you're trying to annoy me" I growled. 

"Ignore Alice. He keeps trying to name things" Itona said from behind me. 

"Why are you following this visitor around Cheshire? He seems stupider" Muramatsu said.

"SAYS THE MODEL FROM RUN AWAY CLOWN FASHION!" I yelled. 

"Look. He said my name right" Itona said, disappearing and reappearing between Yoshida and Muramatsu. 

"And they aren't Yoshida and Muramatsu. They're Tweedledee and Tweedledum."

I couldn't help but laugh. That part is perfect for those two.

"Why do you get to be Tweedledee? I'm smarter!" Yoshida, or apparently Tweedledum said. 

"Don't start this now! You know I'm smarter" Tweedle Muramatsu said. 

"Here we go" Itona said. 

"Do you want to hear a song!?" the Tweedles said together. 

"Uh, no" I said, but those two knuckleheads started singing anyways.

"Alice, Alice, his name is Alice, look at that adorable dress and bow, will he survive Wonderland, hey nobody knows, But we're Tweedledee and Tweedledum, and we're singing a song, But Alice better hurry up because the Queen will be along!!!"

The song had no tune whatsoever and those two were doing a kickline while they sang.

Never getting that image out of my head. 

"So where are you going Cheshire?" Tweedle Yoshida said. "Are you bringing Alice with you? We can stay here and sing to him if you aren't."

"Nonononononono! We're definitely going together!" I said. Anything would be better then another song.

"I'm surprised he's let you follow him this long" Tweedle-Muramatsu said. "Cheshire's kinda a loner." 

"He's my entertainment" Itona purred. 

"Well good luck Alice" Tweedle Yoshida said. 

"When you come back we'll have another song ready" Tweedle Muramatsu said. 

As we walked away I heard them fighting about what rhymed with banana. I am concerned. 

 

"Where are we going?" I asked a little later after me and my feline guide had walked a little farther. 

"Somewhere" 

"But where?"

"Somewhere is somewhere and somewhere can be anywhere and anywhere is everywhere so somewhere is everywhere so we're going everywhere"

"Huh?"

"You have much to learn Alice." 

Soon I heard the sounds of laughing, and talking. 

"People!" I said happily. 

"That's the Hatter's table. I'd bring you over there, but you might not be able to handle it" Itona said.

"That's BS! I can handle it!"

"Ok then."

As we got closer to the table I could see three figures. Three familiar figures.

The first one was clearly asleep. She was also the last person I wanted to see right now. 

"Hey, why is Nakamura a mouse?"

"A dormouse stupid. She's the dormouse" was Itona's helpful reply. 

Nakamura was wearing a short yellow dress with large orange buttons all over it. (to look like cheese maybe?) she wore yellow boots with a large green bow-tie (they seem to be popular here) she was also wearing a yellow fedora with purple feathers, which I didn't think a mouse would wear. She had huge mouse ears and a thin tail with an orange bow tied around it.

"The hatter made that hat for her. They sort of have a thing going on" Itona said, a little more helpful then last time. 

Mouse Nakamura was muttering in her sleep. "Pancakes...Don't let the sheep escape!...Hello Alice, nice of you to drop by..."

"Is she awake?"

"Nope. Asleep but aware." said a familiar female voice. 

"HAZAMA?!" I said. I thought it looked like her but I wasn't sure. I thought she'd be the last one to appear in Wonderland.

"I'm the March Hare" she said, looking at me. 

I guess she was. She had rabbit ears like Bunny Nagisa, but they were larger and folded over and matched the color of her hair. She wore a long black trenchcoat-like jacket with a black dress shirt underneath. She wore black and dark grey striped pants. She looked like she robbed a funeral clown's house.

"She's the dormouse, I'm the March Hare. He's the Cheshire Cat, and you are Alice because Alice is Alice and you are Alice."

"Um, ok. Hi there" 

Mouse Nakamura was giggling in her sleep. "Alice doesn't know what's in store for him. Heh heh. Alice will never see that coming..."

"She's weird" I said, stepping back from the table. 

"Weird, Odd, Strange, Mad, we all classify as that here! But how about you Alice? What are you?" said a familiar sadistic voice. 

"Not you!" I yelled. But it was him.

Dressed in a red and white striped tailcoat with a large purple bow tie (again with the bow ties) He was also wearing a huge purple hat. He had a ace of spades sticking out of his shirt pocket.

"You look like a candy cane" was the first thing I said. 

"And you look like a six year old girl" responded Karma the Mad Hatter. "Why'd you bring a visitor here Cheshire?"

"Because he insisted" The Cheshire Itona said.

"That's a perfect reason! Have a seat! Oh, but there's no room." Karma said.

"Yes there is" I said, looking at the vast table. 

"No there isn't. What a shame" the March Hazama said. 

"Yes there is!" I yelled.

"No there isn't" Dormouse Nakamura said in her sleep.

"YES THERE IS!!!" I yelled. What was wrong with these people!?

"I like this one Cheshire. He seems stupid." Hazama said. 

"HEY!!!"

"I guess we can make room for such a lively visitor" Karma said. "Have a seat Alice. There's room now."

"My name is Terasaka" I growled, sitting down.

"No, you're Alice" Karma said. 

"Don't bother. Alice likes to give things different names. He calls me "Itona"" Itona said, sitting next to me. 

"What a wonderful idea! Let's all name things!" Karma said. He pointed to a teacup and said "Marcus" 

Hazama pointed to a biscuit and said "Tom" 

"Steve" Itona said, pointing at an empty chair.

"Um, Chuck" I said, pointing at a cookie.

"Madison" Nakamura mumbled, pointing to a flower. (I swear she was still asleep) 

 

After we went through pretty much every name in the book, we finally finished naming things. 

"So Alice, Any idea why your guide is the Cheshire Cat? It's usually the White Rabbit" Karma said. 

"Ummm, he found me first?" I said, looking at Itona who was batting at a tassel on the table cloth not listening. 

"Cheshire luuuuuuuuvs him" Nakamura said between snores. 

"Do not!" Itona said, clearly paying attention now. "It would be messy if the jabberwock ate him."

"Jabber-what?" I asked. 

"Deny it all you want but you love him like the queen loves roses, like the March hare loves books, like the hatter loves hats" Nakamura sang, still asleep. 

Itona glared at her, then disappeared. 

"Hey! You just lost my guide!" I snapped. 

"He'll be back. Alice, how do you plan to get out of here?" Hazama asked.

"Huh? Well I don't know"

"You'd better leave before the queen comes or it's of with your head!" Nakamura said, grinning. (I swear that girl was still asleep!) 

"So how do I get out of here?" I asked. 

"You could ask Cheshire, but I doubt he'd give you a straight answer. Riddles are more his thing. You could go to the Caterpillar" Karma said. 

"Ok, so where do I find this Caterpillar?" 

"Just follow the rabbit. Oh look, there he is now"

Sure enough Bunny Nagisa was running by. 

"HEY WAIT!" I yelled. 

"No time to wait! I'm late!" Nagisa yelled. 

Nakamura finally woke up. "Who are you?" she asked.

"Alice" Hazama and Karma answered.

"You guys are weird. Goodbye!" I yelled, running after Nagisa. 

"We're mad!" they called after me.

Whatever.

I got lost. Fast. It was amazing how each tree looked exactly the same. 

Except for that one. It had a white trunk and a red and white spotted top...OH MY GOD A GIANT MUSHROOM!!!

It was the biggest giant mushroom I'd ever seen, and the only giant mushroom I'd ever seen. For some reason a little voice in my head said "Climb that sucker Terasaka! You can do it! You won't fall to your death!"

So of coarse I tried giant mushroom climbing.

Giant Mushroom climbing is not a sport I recommend. You get tired quickly, and the stalk/trunk/bottom thingy is slippery. This is more of a watch-on-TV-sport then a go-outside-and-do-it sport.

I had climbed for at least half an hour, SO WHY WAS I STILL FIVE FEET OFF THE GROUND?!?

"SCREW YOU WONDERLAND!!!" I yelled. Then a squishy yellow something picked me up and placed me on top of the mushroom.

"Nurufufufufufu. Would you like to learn about physics?"

You have got to be kidding me. 

 

To be continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was just a little intermission before we continue with the plot in the next chapter. If any of you readers have any artistic talent? Can you maybe draw these guys as Alice in wonderland characters? I can't draw at all. (Sadly)
> 
> Anyways, I'll add part two of this in a few chapters, and I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!
> 
> (There is no stopping the catchphrase! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Is this even a catchphrase? Idk)
> 
> Until next time my friends!


	38. How I was under new management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we're back to the regular plot! Itona's P.O.V for this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you all so very very much for reading this story. It means a lot to me since this was my first ever story (And also my most popular) Also, huge huge huge shout out to Smchild and their friend SnowdropOrMenana (Who's on deviant art) for making fanart of the last chapter! It's amazing! ALL OF YOU OTHER READERS NEED TO CHECK IT OUT NOW!!!! (There's a link in the comments for chapter 37) 
> 
> Anyways, another one of you lovely readers talked to me in a chatroom (who didn't want to be mentioned) and asked me some questions. As promised I'm writing them here
> 
> Q: Who do you like better? Itona or Terasaka? A: DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!!! I actually liked Itona better originally, but Terasaka is so much fun to write for! I love em' both
> 
> Q: What do you find interesting about this ship? A: It's not super big, but it seems perfect somehow. Given those two's backgrounds and how they act around each other it seems that Itona and Terasaka would be a good match
> 
> Q: Will Terasaka get pregnant in this? A: What? Nope! Nothing like that! No over 18 action for this story!! I'm keeping it fluff and humor for this one!
> 
> Q: You add Muramatsu and Yoshida in at the beginning, but their roles have decreased. Why? A: I don't know! I love those two and find them hilarious, and I'll put em' in more.
> 
> Q: You wrote a chapter with Hazama'a P.O.V, will you do it again? A: Maybe. I think this story is winding down, I'm trying to find an ending right now. Details are a little blurry so there's a good chance. 
> 
> Q: This is ending??? NOOOO! Will you write a sequel? A: Probably! I've loved writing this, and want to do more. I might add a few more ships in tho. 
> 
> Q: Ok, what are your other ships? A: I ship Hazama and Yoshida, and Muramatsu with Hara. Those would be ships I'd include in a sequel, but I also ship Rio and Karma
> 
> Q: Are you sure this is your first time writing something? It's amazing! A: Thanks! and yes, it is. I'm impressed that so many people like it.
> 
> Q: Ok, last one. Would you like it if people followed your example and started writing ItoTera? A: YESYESYESYESYES!! I love this ship, there needs to be more of it!!! 
> 
> So there you go! If u guys have a question, ask away! And now for the chapter! (These are the longest notes I've ever written)

"I AM THE CHAMPION MY FREEEEEEEEINDS!!!"

"Terasaka! Just because you can fall out of a tree and land on your feet does not mean you are a champion!"

"Yoshida's right! Itona just did a freaking flip out of that tree!"

"ITONA! STOP SHOWING OFF! I CAN BE A CHAMPION FOR ONCE!!"

"No you can't. I'm better."

"ARE NOT!" 

"And here is the wild Terasaka gang, in their natural element. Fighting"

"Shut up Hazma!"

"You shut up Muramatsu"

"No way! Umm, Terasaka, shut up"

"I WASN'T EVEN TALKING!!"

"Well now you are" 

 

The usual afternoon fight session. It usually starts with one of us taking something too far or making a big deal out of something, hence the flipping out of a tree. How could I resist? Terasaka fell out of the tree face first, hit a branch on the way down, and then somehow landed on his feet while screaming the whole time. Coincidence? I think not. Well, maybe. Maybe there's some invisible force in this tree and it decided to spare Terasaka's face. 

"So now what?" Teraska asked. "Get some food?"

"We just ate like, fifteen minutes ago!" Yoshida protested. 

"I mean like, ice cream or something" Terasaka said. "Itona wants to get ice cream"

"Since when do you speak for me? But yeah, ice cream would be good."

"You were actually thinking that?!? I'M TERASAKA THE PSYCHIC!!!"

"Oh god. What have you done Itona?" Hazama said, facepalming.

Eventually we went for ice cream to shut Terasaka up, or as he commanded he be known as, The master psychic of the Universe.

 

"I will not call you that!" Muramatsu yelled.

"You can and will! My mystical psychic powers tell me that you are thinking about...ramen!!"

"I'm always thinking about ramen! That's nothing!"

"Well then, Itona and Hazama want me to shut up! I won't by the way"

"We always want you to do that. Try harder Terasaka"

"That's The master Psychic of the universe to you!" 

"Hey look! There's Mr. Karasuma and koro sensei" Yoshida said.

Sure enough Mr. Karasuma and a strange man in a hood and sunglasses, I mean Koro sensei, were standing a little ways away from us. 

 

"Hello students!" Koro sensei called. "I'm just here for a little late night treat!"

It was only five thirty, but one does not question the octopus.

Hazama started talking to Koro sensei about a homework assingment, and Mr. Karasuma just looked at me. 

I'm good at staring, so I held his gaze, until he looked away. 

After Hazama was done talking, Koro sensei decided to buy us all ice cream, and who was I to disagree. Taking advantage of Koro sensei, we all ordered as much ice cream as humanly possible.

"You can't live like this Itona" Karasuma muttered to me as he walked by. 

"What? I can totally eat this much ice cream on a daily basis" I said. I realized I kinda sounded like Terasaka. Dang it. He's rubbing off on me.

"You know what I mean" he said, before walking away. 

Oh. That little conversation. 

 

Yesterday after Kaede's little meltdown, he tried to talk me out of continuing with the assassination plan, like I didn't hear his little conversation with Bitch sensei.

"Itona. We need to talk" he said. I was already to yell at him but a voice in my head told me to hear him out. 

"About what?"

"You know what. It was stupid to consider this option in the first place. We need to have yours removed. It will be painful but you'll survive."

"No" I said. I wasn't aware I had spoken until after I said it.

"What?" 

"You heard me. No. I'm not giving up."

"Itona, you'll never be able to handle the pressure."

"So you're saying I'm weak?" 

"No, well, yes, you're not strong enough for this."

"You'll let me finish this. Then we'll see who's strong Karasuma."

"That's Mr. Karasuma, and you need to think this through."

"I already have. This is my power and no one will take it away. I'm stronger. I'm stronger then anyone here." I could feel myself losing control slightly.

"And what if it kills you first?" he asked patiently.

"What if I kill Koro sensei first?" I responded. 

"Well good luck because I'm no longer helping with this attempt"

"Who said I needed you? I can do it alone" I said. 

"Itona..."

"No. I need to prove I'm stronger. Get in my way and I'll kill you." It definitely wasn't me talking now. 

"Itona please, you can't fight like this"

"I can and will. You'll stay out of my way" I was walking away now, I didn't want to, but something in me did. 

"Itona, I will enlist the government to bring you down if I have to. My goal was to protect the class and you are endangering your classmates"

"Call me unstable" I said stepping back towards him. "Threaten me all you like" I came closer " But when I say I'll kill Koro sensei" forcing him back against a wall. "I will and no one will stop me" 

 

"Hey Itona, if you're just going to stare out the window, can I have your ice cream?" Terasaka said, shaking me from my thoughts.

"No way! It's mine!" I said. Weirdly enough, I feel more like myself when I'm around Terasaka. 

"Not if I win it in rock paper scissors!"

"I'm not dumb enough to bet ice cream on rock paper scissors!!" 

"Then eat it!"

"Fine!"

I ate the ice cream.

 

After that, we ended up going to Yoshida's to do random stuff, but Karasuma's words followed me. I can totally live like this. I'm doing fine. 

"Hey Itona, you got an email" Terasaka said, holding up my phone.

"Hey! gimme that!" I said, taking it. 

 

I waited until I was home for the night before checking it. It was from "Anonymous" which set off little alarm bells in my head. I clicked on it anyways, expecting some sort of add or weird random email, but it wasn't either of those. 

Itona,  
I work for the Government, but don't close the email yet. I know Tadaomi Karasuma has ended the assassination, but you continue on your own. I want to help you. I can formulate a plan while you focus on getting stronger. All I ask is that you give me half the reward money, and a favor. You're powerful, and I have a strong mind. We're both misunderstood and I think we could work well together. I know your history with the individual known as Shiro. I promise that this won't be like this. Not sure yet? Well I know about your unstable condition. You could die, and I think you don't want that to happen. I have a serum that will keep you in your current condition and keep you alive. Think of me as a friend. There is no rush to answer, this is only a little proposal I won't state my name here, no doubt Karasuma is watching. Simply answer yes or no and we will meet. Make the right choice now :) 

 

This was suspicious. Veeeeery suspicious. Was this Karasuma's plot? Shiro's? Am I being played? This is weird. And a smiley face? Well this could be my one way to survive. I guess...

Anonymous,  
I'm in.

 

The next day at school, Kaede cornered me. 

"You need to think about what you're doing! You can't do this on your own! The flipping Government's against you!" 

"I see Karasuma filled you in. But I'm not alone. I might have found someone who can help me" I said.

"Itona..."

"No really! I think I have help now" 

"Ok. But please, don't go to far"

"I never go to far."

Ok, that's a lie. I go too far on a lot of things, but hey, I think I have a shot this time. 

 

"Hey shrimp, why is Mr. Karasuma staring at us?" Terasaka asked. We were working on our electronic project, which was really coming along. 

"No reason. Keep working"

"He looks mad"

"Shut up Terasaka"

"You know something!" 

"Do not. Now work"

"Itona, is something wrong?"

"No. Why d'you ask?"

"Because I am a man of many questions."

"I'll say"

"HEY!!!"

"Not saying the things you do aren't questionable" 

"I hate you" 

"I hate you too" 

"So we have an agreement" 

"We do"

"This is stupid."

"Talk to a stupid person, have a stupid conversation" 

"ITONA!!!"

"Yes?"

"You're mean"

"I know"

After school I got another email from "Anonymous" 

I see you agree that this could work. I assume you know your way around? Well maybe you can meet me where it all began. I'll see you there :) 

 

Where it all began? The old lab that's totally demolished? I guess I could check there. Is this a bad idea? A few seconds later I got a text from Terasaka.

TERASAKA: Hey

ME: Hi

TERASAKA: What are you doing?

ME: Nothing. You?

TERASAKA: Nothing. 

 

Well this is a stupid conversation. 

 

ME: Do you need something? Cuz I'm kinda busy. 

TERASAKA: Can I maybe talk to you later? After you're done doing whatever you're doing?

ME: Yeah sure. 

TERASAKA: Nice. Meet me in the park at 2:30

ME: 2:30 was three hours ago. 

TERASAKA: Oh. Whoops. My clock's slow. Make it five thirty.

ME: Got it. See you then. 

 

I made my way over to the old lab with the accompanied memories of Terasaka jumping over an electric fence (So maybe I was watching him) that seems like such a long time ago. I guess things have only gotten more complicated since then...

I had arrived in the lab by then, but it looked totally different. There was new technology, new everything pretty much. I looked back at the outside to make sure I hadn't walked into the wrong place.

"I fixed it up pretty nicely huh?" a voice said. "All great minds need a place of their own, and thanks to you I have one" 

"Um, yeah" I said. Now I was certain this was a bad idea. 

"Don't be scared now. I won't hurt you. But will you hurt me?"

"No" I said. "I kinda have to be able to see you to attack you" 

"And now you can" the voice said as its' owner stepped into the light.

He was a thin man with thick glasses and curly brown hair. "I'm Fumiaki Takaoka"

Takaoka? I'd heard stories from Terasaka about an insane man and an island. Was this him? 

"You're probably thinking of my brother" the man said. "I'll have you know we're nothing alike. So, can I see those tentacles?" 

"Depends. Are you really going to help me?" I said.

"But of course! I suppose I should tell you a bit about myself then."

"No kidding Sherlock" 

 

"As you already know, Akira Takaoka is my brother, and we worked for the government together" he started. "Akira was the muscle for our operation, I was the brains. My dream was always to be on the front lines fighting with him, but alas I have a rare lung disease that prohibits me from doing so. I was kept behind the scenes as a scientist, but no one understood what I was really capable of! I was one of the original creators of the tentacle seed and I understood it like no other! I was also one of the first scientists to work on your teacher. Things got...out of hand when the specimen escaped, and one sample of tentacle seed went missing. That was the sample taken by the little sister of one of my co workers."

"Kaede" I said. 

"Correct! We needed another specimen to go up against the escaped experiment, but with more control. I suggested a human with tentacle implants..."

"Wait stop." I said. "If you worked for the Government, why were you working with Shiro?" 

"Very clever! Yes, I was working for the government when I was offered a part time job with a better lab. That job was creating the tentacle seed. I doubt my brother ever knew about my double life. And it was I who suggested using a human to attack the individual now known as Koro sensei. You were located and implanted, and I was in charge of monitoring your health stats. You could say I know you better the anyone else"

"Prove it" I said. This man was extremely suspicious. 

"If you say so. When you're nervous you tend to lock your legs and stare down whatever makes you nervous to give the impression that you're not scared. When you're stressed you often mess with whatever small objects you can get your hands on, confident, you mock the weakest person you can find or your opponent... See, you're nervous right now."

He was right. I had locked my legs and I hadn't taken my eyes off him. I didn't know I did that. 

"So, getting on with my story, once Koro Sensei broke free I returned to the Government full time to act as a spy. Much happened in that time frame. Both you and my brother failed to kill the octopus, although my brother's motives were unclear. When I heard you were back and ready to kill once more I couldn't help but intervene. So, Itona Horibe. We are both alone. We both have vision. Will you stand with me?"

"Yes" I said. "But let's set a few guidelines. You will not mistreat me. We are equals. I choose what I do, not you."

"I understand. Shiro was quite the control freak" 

"Yeah" I muttered. 

"Anyways, to seal this deal, could you hold out your arm?"

I didn't know why he was asking, but I did. Drawing a needle from his pocket he injected it into my arm. 

"Developed a fear of needles? Understandable. But do you feel better now? That was a chemical of my own creation designed to stabilize you and take away pain."

I did feel better. It was like fog had been lifted from my head. "Thanks I guess" 

"Of course. Now if I could see the tentacles now" 

I let him and Takaoka examined them thoroughly.

"We have work to do Itona. We need to workshop these tentacles if they'll withstand how powerful you'll become. I promise to be gentle if you'll let me feel the part where they're injected." 

 

Soon five thirty came and I had to hightail it over to the park to meet Terasaka.

"I..I'm here now" I said, reaching the spot where he was, breathing heavily. 

"Jeez shrimp. Did ya run all the way here or something?"

"Maybe" I wheezed. The multiple tests had exhausted me, and running hadn't helped. 

"Didn't know I mattered so much" Terasaka said. 

"You don't...I'm bored" Stupid breathing! Start being normal again!

"Whatever. I just wanted to talk to you"

"Why?"

"I don't know. You've been kind of a mess lately."

"HEY!" 

"And with the whole Mr. Karasuma stare down. That was weird" 

"Oh. I don't know what that was about" 

"Yeah me neither. Adults are weird." 

"No kidding" I said, thinking of Takaoka. 

"You look different" Terasaka said suddenly. 

"What...what are you talking about?" I said.

"You look better. You looked really pale earlier. I was starting to worry"

"Well you didn't need to. I'm fine"

"Really? I don't know what went down with Kayano the other day, but it doesn't take a genius to figure it out. You weren't outside, you were in there. You both had tentacles, and I know you're involved in something. I haven't forgotten what you promised me after the play. You owe me Itona Horibe. What's going on?" 

"I..I don't"

"I may be stupid, but I'd be stupider not to ask what's going on"

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry" 

"I get it. It's too important, yadda yadda. But at least tell me one thing. Does this have to do with assassination?"

"...yes"

"Ok. You don't need to tell me any more. I guess E class is against you again" 

"Huh?"

"We'll have to kill him before you do. Maybe we need that reward money. Ever think of that?"

"What do you need it for? You're loaded!"

"I need it to travel alright! I need to find someone!" Terasaka said. 

"What?"

"Just forget it. I didn't mean to say it" 

"Terasaka..."

"I said forget it. You have your secrets, I have mine" 

"I never thought you'd be the one to confront me about this." I said. 

"Cuz I'm too dumb? When it comes to my shrimp I'll do anything"

I was blushing now. 

"One more question" Terasaka said.

"Ok. I owe you" 

"Do you have the tentacles back?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene!!! I'm making these pretty dang dramatic now, not sure if it's really my style, but I hope you're all still enjoying. Weekly updates from here on out, and Shadow_Of_A_Raven's fic is continuing so you all should check it out!! Hope you enjoyed, and if there's any feedback you guys have I'd love to hear it! Please don't be shy! I want to know what you guys think of this and what you want to see the start shaping a potential sequel! 
> 
> Until next time then! You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!


	39. How to be dramatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a random story on request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo yo yo my friends!!! I'm back again with this week's update!! I got a request for a random story, so here's a random story! Not part of the actual plot, but I do need a break from my dramatic-ness in the actual plot. Also, HAPPY ALMOST SUMMER GUYS!!! It's May, almost June which means summer! And almost a year since I started writing this! I don't know what you guys do in the Summer, but my tradition is losing a pound in sweat! Anyways, enjoy! (Terasaka's P.O.V)

"Alright guys! I'm gonna teach you something important!" I yelled.

"Well this should be good" was Itona's sarcastic response.

"Shut up" I said. "I'm gonna teach you guys to be dramatic!"

"Why do we need to learn that? We have you" Yoshida said. Muramatsu and Hazama nodded. 

"Hey! Being dramatic is a very very important skill!" I said. "Watch. I'm gonna go be dramatic to Karma"

"R.I.P" my gang said in a monotone.

"Jeez guys! Have a little faith!" I snapped as I walked over to Karma/certain death. 

 

"What do you want" Karma said, rolling his eyes. 

"What do I want? What do I WANT?! WHAT do I want? What DO I want?!" I yelled.

"Could you maybe lose your marbles somewhere else?" Karma asked. 

"Whatever. You're no fun to be dramatic to" I said, walking off. 

 

"I learned so much" Itona said as I walked back.

"Be quiet"

"I bet you couldn't be dramatic if your life depended on it" Itona said.

"I could too!"

"So how about being dramatic as possible during your U.S president presentation" Itona said innocently.

"Ok, maybe I will!"

"Ok, do it.

"Ok I will"

"Ok then"

"Ok"

First of all, I had to find a way to make a dead president interesting, and unless your some sort of history nut, which I'm not, it's almost impossible. I texted Itona. I don't know why.

ME: How do you make Abe Lincoln intresting?

ITONA: I don't know.

ME: Oh. Me neither

ITONA: Don't you dare come crying. This is your challenge.

ME: Just one tiny little bit of help?

ITONA: No

ME: Imagine all the puppies and kittens in the world staring at you as you answer.

ITONA: That is not fair!!

ME: They're watching you!

ITONA...

ITONA: Fine. Get a smoke machine or something. 

ME: OK!!! 

 

For the big presentation i got a pose-able mannequin , dressed him up as Abe Lincoln, got a smoke machine, downloaded dramatic music on my phone and got a sparkly cape because it seemed dramatic. I also got a pair of sunglasses for Abe. 

 

The day of the presentation I dragged myself to school with a bag weighing more then I do and Abe the mannequin. 

"Oh my" was all Bitch Sensei said. 

"Oh wow" was what Muramatsu said. 

"Oh man" was what Yoshida said.

"Oh no" was Hazama's reaction. 

"Oh yes" was Itona's reaction. 

"Oh god" was Mr. Karasuma. 

"Are you all gonna stare?" I growled.

"Staring is what I do" Itona said shrugging. 

 

The first few people presented, and it was nothing special. I was totally gonna win the dramatic contest! Before my turn, I gave mannequin Abe a talk in the boy's bathroom.

"Ok Abe. This is our moment. This is your moment! I need you to have my back out there, and I'll have yours! Can I count on you soldier!? Don't be scared Abe. No one will hurt you. Alright! Let's kill it!" 

I put on my sparkly cape and put the glasses on Abe. It was showtime!! 

I turned on the music and the smoke machine. I could see Mr. Karasuma face palming. 

"This" I said in a dramatic voice. " IS ABRAHAM LINCOLN!" the smoke cleared to show Abe the mannequin with the awesome sunglasses. 

"Oh my" said Koro Sensei.

"Abraham Lincoln WAS THE THIRTEENTH PRESIDENT OF THE U.S!" I continued. I could see my friends trying and failing not to laugh.

"He was born in...HODGENVILLE KENTUCKY!!!" I did some dance moves. Yoshida lost it and fell out of his chair laughing. 

"He was the 13th president and he...Ended...SLAVERY!!! And the civil war, but that's not important"

"I'm pretty sure it was" Mr. Karasuma spoke up.

"Hey buddy! Who's presenting? Me or you!! Anyways, we all know 13 is an unlucky number"

"Oh good lord" Mr. Karasuma said.

"And it was very unlucky for this president because he got shot! AND DIIIIIEEEEED!!!" I fell to the floor dramatically. "Ok. I'm done" 

"Um, very nice Terasaka" the octopus said.

I took some dramatic bows. 

 

When I was walking with mi amigos outside the school...well none of them stopped laughing.

"Oh..Oh my god...Terasaka...you...you idiot!!" Itona managed to say.

"And now you know that I am the master of dramatic" I said, crossing my arms.

"Ok, here. You get chocolate" Itona said, handing me chocolate. 

"YEAH!! CANDY!!" I said. "Wait, you just have candy with you?"

"Of course" Itona said, smiling.

"You have a cute smile" I said.

"You can shut up now" 

"Wow! I was dramatic, got candy and made Itona mad! The only thing better will be getting my awesome grade!!"

 

"A F!!!" I yelled.

"But look. An A for effort." Itona said.

"I feel soooo much better" I said dramatically. 

"I'll give you more chocolate"

"Ok, now I feel better" 

"Hey, go be dramatic to Karma"

"No! I think I'm done being dramatic for a while."

I took a few steps and stubbed my toe.

"OWWWWWWW!!! OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! AAAAAAGH! I'M DYING!!!"

"Not dramatic he says"

"YOU SHUT UP!! OWWWWWWW!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, there you all go. Back to the normal plot next chapter and maybe more Terasaka in wonderland after that!! Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed! Leave a kudos if you can and see you next time!!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!! c(0_0) Behold the awkward smiley


	40. How things got complicated. Like, even more then they are now. How do these things happen?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick recap, in the last plot chapter I got a little overboard and made an OC, I guess...u know, just re read the last plot chapter. This isn't working!
> 
> I guess all you need to know is Itona P.O.V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE BACK TO THE PLOT!!!! 
> 
> Wow, this story has gotten so long!! I wanna thank you guys so much for reading, yea, it's true it's wrapping up. But, 86 KUDOS!! four away from 90!!! What was the old goal? 75 or something, and now almost 90!!!! And someone drew fanart of this story!! AAAAAAAAH!!!! This has been so much fun and I don't want it to end so...I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING A SEQUEL!!! If you think that's a good idea, comment! Tell me what you want to see! I don't want to write something no one reads. 
> 
> It's summer so I plan on finishing this and maybe writing a mini story about this ship and then writing the sequel in the fall and maybe sooner. Alright, enough talk, CHAPTER TIME!!!

"I think it's a rock" 

"It doesn't work that way!! Look at it as something else"

"But it's a rock!"

"I know, but what else could it be?"

"A boring rock"

"YOU'RE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT!!"

Koro sensei had given us one of those creativity assignments where we were supposed to look at an item and think of it as something else, and Terasaka was totally failing.

 

"I'm so doing this right!" the idiot says, crossing his arms. "Maybe you're doing it wrong."

"No way. Compared to you I'm pretty much perfect."

"WHAT!!!" Terasak yells. I'm starting to think he's kinda cute when he's mad...*Cough Cough* 

"Just look harder at it" I say.

Terasaka stares at it for a while, then goes cross eyed.

"I'm getting a headache" 

"I'm not surprised. You don't need to look that hard"

"Ok Mr. I'm-so-good-at-this. What do you see instead of a rock?"

"Um..."

"Aha! You can't do it right either!!"

"Whatever. This is stupid!!" 

"Aww, have I made you mad?"

"Of course not. I don't get mad at stupid things" 

"HEY!!! I'M NOT A STUPID THING!!!"

"That's right. You're a stupid human"

"HEY! SHUT UP YOU INFURIATING LITTLE...Um..."

"Any day now" I teased. 

"BE QUIET!!" 

"When I feel like it"

"You're an annoying shrimp!" Terasaka yelled triumphantly, wrestling me to the ground. 

"Hey! You're a stupid gorilla" I said, trying to get up, only to have Terasaka shove me down again.

"There is no taking down the king of wrestling!" Terasaka said, pounding his chest not unlike a gorilla. 

"Who cares! Aah!! Let me up!!" Terasaka answered me by putting his foot on my chest, pinning me.

"Well this is fun" he teased. 

"No it's not!! Get your incredibly heavy foot off me!!" I said. 

"My foot is not incredibly heavy!! You're just...um, not heavy?"

"Gee thanks"

"I'm not having a good day in the comeback department alright?"

"Can I get up now?"

"WHEN I SAY YOU CAN" 

 

"This doesn't seem like the assignment you were assigned boys" came the voice of the octopus. 

"Oh um, this is creative shrimp stepping" Terasaka said. 

If I could get up and slap him, I would. 

"Terasaka, if you could let Itona get up and get on with your work" Koro sensei said, walking away. 

 

"Didn't hurt ya too badly did I?" Terasaka said, pulling me to my feet.

"Nah, and what's this? Concern?"

"You're a fragile little shrimp"

I punched him in the arm. "Am not." 

"Are so!" Terasaka said. "And you're super light. I can pick you up easily. Watch!"

"Nuh uh! Hands off!" I said, jumping back.

"How am I supposed to prove my amazing strength if you run away?" Terasaka said. 

"Figure it out" I said. "I guess this proves I'm faster then you"

"Because you're so small!"

"I KNOW I'M SHORT! WE DON'T NEED TO KEEP BRINGING IT UP!!"

"We so do! It's like, the only insult I have on you. I didn't google short jokes for an hour for nothing"

"Aww, how cute. You're flirting with each other" Hazama said, walking up.

"ARE NOT!" we yelled in unison. 

"Just start dating already" Hazama continued.

"When pigs fly!!"

"When Terasaka gets a brain!!"

"HEY!"

"I say it how it is" 

"Mean!"

"You keep saying that and i don't deny it"

When we were packing up to go home, Terasaka bothered me yet again.

"Hey Shrimp. Are you bored?"

"...no...Ok. What do you want? You have that weird look on your face"

"What look?" Terasaka said.

"That weird look whenever you're up to no good or nervous!" I said. "The one that looks like you want to starting singing or crying"

"I don't have a look!" Terasaka yelled. "Goodbye!" He walked off, then came back. "Oh yeah. I wanted to ask you something" 

"Idiot" 

"Be quiet. Anyways, there's this new movie coming out in about a month, and I got tickets..."

"A month?"

"It looked really good!!! It had brain eating bugs and stuff!"

"Are you sure it's not to scary for you?" 

"Ha ha. Anyways, I got two tickets and...do you...wanna come with me?" 

"A month from now?"

"Do you know how hard it was to get two?" 

"You want me to go with you?"

"YES! WHY ARE YOU SO CONFUSING!!!" 

"Wait. You and me alone?"

"Look. If you don't want to, you don't have to." Terasaka said, turning to leave.

"No wait. I want to go. I really want to"

"Really?!" There was that stupid smile that I loved. "Great. Don't you dare forget! One month! See ya tomorrow!!" 

 

Only an idiot would ask someone out a month from the day they ask... wait a minute...

Oh my god. Did he ask me out?? No way. He seemed serious. Did he really just...

HE ASKED ME OUT! YES YES YES!!! WHY AM I SO HAPPY!!!! YES!!!!! OH MY GOD HE ACTUALLY DID IT!!!! A MONTH FROM NOW BUT HE DID IT!!! YESYESYESYESYES!!!

Was I waiting for him to do something like this? Ok, maybe a little, but I didn't think he had the guts to ask me. Oh my god. 

What an idiot. A whole month? He's gonna make me wait. Stupid idiot.

 

I almost didn't hear my phone ding. It was a text from Takaoka. 

TAKAOKA: You're late

ME: Ok. I'm coming. Sure I can't skip this session?

TAKAOKA: Certain. There are a few last minute adjustments we need to work out.

ME: Gotcha. See you in five. 

 

I went over to the research facility to see Takaoka waiting for me. 

"I see you're happy" was the first thing he said to me.

"Just a little" I said, used to him reading my emotions by now.

"Well Itona. I didn't think it possible, but we've gone farther then what was previously predicted. You've reached heights that I though didn't exist, and it's time to take things up a notch."

"How? I thought we were already at the top"

"We are, but there's always a little farther to go. Now, I'm still workshopping things, but the approximate assassination time is a week from today."

"So that's when it all ends"

"Indeed. You will kill your teacher or die trying"

"What?"

"An expression. You're perfectly safe. But what has you so exhilarated?"

"Nothing"

"Young love hm?"

"No! That's definitely not it!" 

"Mmhmm. Now, I have a question to ask of you. After this assassination, would you consider joining a government agency as an assassin? You'd be perfect. Probably one of the best if you accept.

I wish I could say I had a really good response for that, but what I said was. "Ummmmm...what?"

"Well it's not like you can rejoin society. You'd be a military weapon." Takaoka said laughing. Odd. I didn't find it funny. 

"Can I think about it?" I said. 

"Well it's that or go into hiding" Takaoka said laughing. 

"So I have a week of normal life and then everything changes?"

"Well, I could make it easier. I believe you knew what was at stake when you accepted this" 

"Yes, death, becoming a recluse, I know"

"Well everyone would be certain that an experiment like you would burn out eventually, but I've made a way so you never burn out if you stay with me."

"Huh?" (Curse you Terasaka-like moments) 

"Simple. I've created a chemical designed to sync you completely to the tentacles, their strength and their bloodlust. If life does become a dead end, I can simply inject you and you would feel nothing. Your soul purpose would be to kill and fight. You wouldn't feel regret about what you did to your teacher, you wouldn't remember your classmates. Nothing" 

"I kinda like having feelings" 

"They're a burden really. Once you cut every connection you have, you're free." Takaoka said. 

I was really freaked out now. To come this far to lose everything again? There was no way out. Doomed to fail every way I go...fail. 

"What if I fail to kill Koro sensei" I asked.

"Well I don't believe you'll fail my friend. Too much vision for that." Takaoka said.

"But what if I do?"

"Well I suppose I'll have to let you go" Takaoka said. "And I'd hate to do that" 

It was obvious what I had to do. I'm sure it would cause me pain for the rest of my life.

I was going to lose a fight on purpose. 

"Anyways, we have one final matter to discuss. I have one final injection that will enhance your tentacles so that they withstand heat, water, and higher speeds."

"Ok"

"A fair warning. This injection may have a few...side effects on you since you're simply implanted and not made of tentacle matter. With that said are you ready?"

"I don't have a choice" 

As I was leaving after the injection, Takaoka called after me, "The process of losing yourself isn't as bad as it seems. Once you have no one you're at peace with yourself"

Don't ask me what that meant. I don't know. 

 

As I was walking home I got a text from Terasaka.

TERASAKA: I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE!!!!

TERASAKA: Oh wait.

TERASAKA: False alarm :) 

ME: Idiot

 

Oh god. Am I really going to lose this idiot? I don't want to lose him.

I don't want any of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene!! I hope you guys are feeling this cuz I am!!! Anyways, that's it, and we're going back to Terasaka in wonderland next time!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	41. Terasaka in Wonderland part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second part of the first Terasaka in wonderland chapter. Hence the part two in the title. (You may want to re read the first part)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm finally finishing this mini story. Remember I said we had around 83 kudos? well now we have...89!!!! ONE AWAY FROM 90!!! 11 AWAY FROM 100!!!
> 
> YAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!! 
> 
> Anyways, thank you my awesome readers, and enjoy the chapter!

I had climbed for at least half an hour, SO WHY WAS I STILL FIVE FEET OFF THE GROUND?!?

"SCREW YOU WONDERLAND!!!" I yelled. Then a squishy yellow something picked me up and placed me on top of the mushroom.

"Nurufufufufufu. Would you like to learn about physics?"

You have got to be kidding me.

 

It was Koro sensei!! Kind of. He was in a caterpillar suit! A blue caterpillar suit!! Wait a sec...YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

"You're the blue caterpillar?" I asked skeptically.

"Well of course my boy! Have you heard of me? People come to me when they want to learn or have a question! To start things off how about I tell you the fabulous history of the mushroom you just climbed!!"

"No, that's ok"

"You see Alice, this mushroom is very old. Just how old? Well let's put that in perspective. One human lives for about one lifetime, but if one encounters the queen they get less then a lifetime. Now to put that in mushroom terms..."

 

One boring, impossible to understand, lecture later I was pretty much at the end of my rope, and also half asleep. 

"Any other questions? Or do you want to learn something else! Or maybe we could read a book!!"

"NO!" I snapped. "NO READING!!! I mean, I have a few questions."

"Alas, no one wants to read stories any more"

"To be honest, I'm pretty sure I'm in a fairy tale. Anyways, you gotta make sense while answering, comprende? 

"Of course. Ask away!" 

"Ok. What is this place! Itona made no sense when he told me!" 

"You're in Wonderland! A place that is reached when one leaves consciousness and becomes what I call, Ultra Conscious! This can be achived when one recives inner peace, true happiness, or a hard knock to the head. Wonderland is well, a wonderful place, except the queen of hearts decided that visitors best left outside of wonderland and tried to keep them out. Unfortunately for her you cannot keep visitors out, and the queen decided to kill off visitors. Only one survived, a young girl by the name of Alice. That is why we refer to all visitors as Alice. A sort of good luck ritual. You are also probably wondering why everyone here appears as someone you know. The brain is a marvelous thing young Alice! In order to take this all in and process it, your brain has made a filter, making certain things appear familiar."

"Ok. Question two. How do I get home?"

"Simple. Face your greatest fear in Wonderland. Dear Alice got home by facing the queen. You'll simply have to face what scares you most."

What scared me most here? Now there was something to think about. 

"Question three. What's with the Cheshire cat? One minute he makes sense, the next he doesn't. And he keeps leaving me!"

"Hmmm. The cheshire cat is a being of odds and ends. Neither here nor there, neither friendly or hostile, neither mad or sane. He speaks in riddles as a way of making sense and not making sense. I don't believe he poses a threat to you. In fact, it's thanks to him that you're alive. I believe that he has been using his power to shield you. Protecting you. How very odd. He's never liked a visitor before. I believe it is simply more comfortable for him to appear and disappear, never staying in one place for long. As for the smile, it's likely that he sees some sick sense of humor in this world that we don't."

Of course Itona would smile at something sadistic. 

"Could you maybe, make him come here? I kinda need him." 

"I'm afraid not. Is that all you need?"

"Yup. Thanks. See ya" I prepared to climb down the mushroom. 

"If you could maybe do me a small favor" The octo-pillar said. 

"Sure"

"Maybe find someone who likes books and tell them to give me a visit"

"SERIOUSLY?!?!

"Please? It would bring me such joy to read with someone, maybe discuss books, have tea..."

"Ok. Ok. I will"

"Wonderful! Thank you Alice! Try not to lose your head!"

"Um ok."

 

Remember how I said that giant mushroom climbing was hard? Well climbing down it was even harder. I lost my grip on the stupid slippery mushroom stalk thingy and fell all the way down. 

"AAAAAAAAAGH!!" I yelled. Then I landed on something springy. Another mushroom. How thoughtful of the universe. 

Luckily this one was only four feet off the ground so I should have been able to jump down but somehow I screwed that up by tripping over my dress and falling on my face. 

"Well that was graceful" 

"ITONA!!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!"

"Stop the presses! Let the spotlight fall! That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am back and that's apparently one of the most amazing things that has happened to Alice..."

"Oh shut up"

"No"

"Anyways, I need help"

"It's not like I can provide the kind of help you need"

"HEY!! I mean I need help finding the Jabber...what was it?"

"Jabberwocky and why do you want to find that?" Itona said.

"So I can go home!"

"Didn't know getting killed and going home were the same thing to you" 

"They're not! The caterpillar told me to "face my fear" and that jabber whatever sounds pretty damn scary."

"It is. You wouldn't be able to handle it"

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. Now take me to the jabber whatsit!"

Itona started laughing then stopped. "You're serious?"

"Yes. Let's go! ONWARD!!!" I said, posing dramatically. 

"Sadly you'll need another guide. I don't do jabberwockys" Itona said. 

"Aww, you scared?" I teased.

"You wanna hear it? Then yes! I am scared! You do not mess with Jabberwockys!"

"Please?" I begged. 

"No! I need all of my nine lives!"

"WELL I ONLY HAVE ONE AND I'D LIKE TO NOT USE IT UP HERE!" I snapped. "SO STOP BEING A SCAREDY CAT AND GUIDE ME!" 

"Fine" Itona said. "I guide you, but you face the Jabberwocky. Ok?"

"Ok" I said, shaking his hand. Itona looked bewildered by the gesture. 

"Never seen a handshake before?"

"Is that what you call it?" 

 

Itona kept his word and guided me without speaking. I could have used a little conversation though. This part of wonderland was creepy. Suddenly Itona stopped and I tripped right over him.

"Hey! Keep your klutzy human-ness over there!"

"Sorry! But why did you stop"

"Because we can't go this way" Itona snapped and turned around."

"Why not!" I snapped. The only thing this way is a field of plants! What's wrong with a field of plants?"

"It's the plants that are the issue" 

I looked at the plants. They didn't look deadly. In fact I recognized them...

"Hey! This is catnip!" I yelled.

"We're not going through there"

"Come on! It won't kill you!"

"I have no intention of going anywhere near that poison"

"Come on!"

"I'm leaving you!"

"Itona! Come on! What's the worst that could happen?"

"I lose control of myself and start acting like I don't hate you"

"HEY!! For that I'll bring some of this stuff over to you!" I said.

 

I picked some of the catnip and climbed out of the field.

"Hey! Get that away from me! I SAID GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!" Itona said hissing as I backed him up against a tree. 

"Come on kitty! Man up!" I said, flinging the cat nip at him. 

"Bastard! Idiot! Stupid stupid...stupid idiot! How dare you...you...

I grinned. Catnip really did have an affect on him.

"Bow to me slave!" I commanded. Itona just looked at me. "Okayy...so you're not my slave?"

I wonder what catnip actually does. Part of me was hoping it would make Itona listen to me. 

"Ok. You're still annoying. Let's go!" I said. "I need a big stick. You know, to point at the horizon dramatically. That would be good. Do you know where I could get a big stick..WOAH" 

Itona was now attempting to climb in my lap while purring and rubbing his head on my arm. 

"Now this is a reaction!! You're not my slave but this is something I guess. We shall cross the field of catnip, find me a stick and then get me home!!! 

 

I completed step one, with Itona the now very affectionate kitty, and was in the midst of looking for a stick when someone grabbed my shoulder.

"AAAAAAGH!! I mean, HI YAH!" I yelled, jumping out of my scared postition into a fighting one. 

"Easy there Alice. I'm not gonna hurt you." It was Hazama, I mean the march hare, Oh screw it. It was the March Hazama. 

"Oh hi"

"Hello" I heard you were looking for the jabberwocky."

"Yep! Imma face it and go home!" I said confidently.

"Ok Alice. Fair warning to you, don't listen to it's voice, don't look in it's eyes and don't let it kill you"

"Ok..."

"What did you do to Cheshire?" Hazama said suddenly. Itona had climbed in my lap and was pawing at my arm trying to make me pay attention to him. 

"Oh. I broke him" I said petting him. Itona was purring even louder now. "Although this isn't so bad" 

"You liiiiike him" Hazama said. 

"Yeah. He's not so bad"

"No. You like him so much you just want to cuddle him and never let him go" 

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT"

"Sure it is. And Cheshire likes you too. I don't think he's ever volunteered to be helpful. And he doesn't exactly get along well with the jabberwocky."

"From what I hear no one does" I said, quoting a movie I watched last night. It was a western. The line really worked in context. Alright!! 

"Well I've warned you. I'll leave now." Hazama said, turning to leave.

"Wait! The caterpillar wants someone to read books with him! Interested?"

"Sure" Hazama said. And at that moment Itona flopped off my lap out cold.

"GAAAAH! I KILLED HIM!!"

"Relax. He's just sleeping off the rest of that catnip."

"Oh"

"But I don't envy you when he wakes up" 

"Oh"

"Well I'm off. Goodbye Alice"

"Bye" And she was gone.

 

While I waited for Itona to wake up I continued my hunt for the perfect stick. I found one, but then it turned into a snake and tried to bite me. And then it chased me.

"AAAAAAAAGH!" I yelled as I ran from the stick, or snake, The Stake? Or the Snick? I ran from the Snick. Ok then. 

I was close to being bitten by the Snick when it was thrown back in the forest by Itona. 

"Hey stupid, why are you playing with a Snick?"

"Um..." I didn't really have a good answer. 

"I thought so. Let's get moving. Oh yeah" He punched me in the arm. 

"OW!"

"IF YOU EVER DRUG ME WITH CATNIP AGAIN I PROMISE YOU I'LL CLAW YOU TO PIECES!!!"

"You like being pet don't you? You're just too tough to admit it" I stupidly said. I got punched again. 

"We're forgetting that ever happened. Got it?"

"You were so cute"

"EEEYRGH!!"

 

We walked in silence as Itona had promised he would find the Snick and shove it down my throat if I kept talking. I had given up my hunt for a stick. I didn't want to give Itona his chance. 

"Here we are" Itona said, pointing at a cave

"This is it?"

"Yep. One jabberwocky. Prime condition. Right in there."

"Sweet. How do I face it?"

Itona gave me a deadpan stare. "You have got to be the most clueless Alice I've ever met." 

"HEY!!"

"Just march on in there and kill it" 

"What?"

"Kill the jabberwocky. Do you have a sword or something?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

"Then I'll come to your funeral"

"COME ON! HELP ME!"

"Nope. You're on your own."

I probably could have used a sharp stick about now. Or a Snick.

 

"Hang on! This is wonderland!" I said.

"How observant of you Alice. Did it take you this long to realize?"

"Shut up! I mean if I think about a weapon will a weapon show up?"

"I don't know"

"YOU'RE FROM HERE AREN'T YOU???"

"I usually have a weapon on me."

I decided to ignore him and focus on summoning something.

"I, the great Terasaka, Summon the awesomest weapon here!!!"

Nothing.

"I think wonderland's broken" I complained.

"Maybe you're broken."

"WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BE A LITTLE HELPFUL TODAY!!!"

"Of course it would"

"ALL I WANT IS A WEAPON!!!" I yelled.

"Well there you go"

I looked up. "OW" A sword fell on my face.

Itona fell over laughing. "That's gotta be the most pathetic weapon summoning I've ever seen!" 

"Well beggars can't be choosers" I growled, picking up the sword. "It's killing time!"

"Have fuuuuuuuun" Itona sang, disappearing. 

I stepped inside the cave. 

 

It was dark in the cave. I know. Real shocker. 

"HELLO???" I called. "ANYONE HOME!! I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU NOW!!!"

"Hello Alice" a voice purred. "So glad you could pay me a visit"

"Show yourself!" I commanded. Something slithered behind me.

"Oh little Alice, you've traveled far. Why don't you rest?"

"Hey! I'm not little! I'm tall, not small. Are you blind?"

"Oh Alice why don't you rest?"

"No thank you" I said nervously. "How about we get this fight started" 

"Oh Alice, you must listen to me first. How trivial this land is. Don't you yearn for it to dissipate?" 

"Huh?" Big words. My old nemesis. "Are you even speaking a known language?"

The voice seemed surprised. "How stupid are you?"

"HEY!!! SO WHAT IF I FAILED CLASSIC JAPANESE!!! NOW GET OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME!!!!" I yelled. Fighting. My old friend. 

"Well well. Aren't you impatient. Oh well. You're my first visitor in a long time. Hmmmm. I think you'll be delicious"

"Huh?" I asked nervously. Then I saw it.

The jabberwocky was huge. Huger then huge. It should be illegal for something to be that huge. It definitely didn't look like anyone I knew. It's body wrapped around the whole cave multiple times and I could see huge wings curled up right below the ceiling of the cave. It was white as snow with black and blue ring markings. It's eyes were huge and yellow and it's face didn't resemble anything I knew of.

In other words: "HOLY FREAKING SHIT!! I'M GONNA HAVE NIGHTMARES FOR YEARS!!!

Looking at its eyes made me feel dizzy. It's voice did that too. What was it Hazama said? Oh yeah. Don't listen to it's voice, don't look in it's eyes and don't let it kill you...

The Jabberwocky was talking again. It's voice was washing over me.

I just want to sleep...NO!...sleep for a few years...NO! NO NO NO! DO SOMETHING!

"WHEN THERE'S SOMETHING STRANGE, IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD!!" I sang. The jabberwocky seemed stunned at my voice.

"WHO YA GONNA CALL?" I bellowed. The jabberwocky clearly didn't know what to make of this. 

"GHOST BUSTERS!!" I started swinging the sword wildly hoping I'd hit something. I did. My foot.

"OWWWW!" I yelled. "SERIOUSLY!!! THIS IS NOT HELPING" 

The jabberwocky was laughing now. "To think I thought you were a threat little Alice"

It caught me against the ground and picked me up. My little blue dress was not made to be lifted upside down. The jabberwocky chuckled again.

"HEY WHADDAYA LOOKING AT???" I snapped, trying to get blue fabric out of my face. 

"You of course" the jabberwocky responded and before I knew it I was staring into a yellow eye. I could feel myself weakening...

 

A rock hit me on the side of my face. "OW!" and then another. And another. "WHOEVER'S DOING THAT KNOCK IT OFF!!!" The rocks were waking me up a little. Enough for me to do something.

"HIII YAH!!!" I yelled, trying to kick the jabberwocky in the face. I missed and kicked it in the eye. 

The jabberwocky yowled in pain and dropped me.

"Alice! Come towards my voice! Don't look at it!" a familiar voice called. I snuck a glance at the jabberwocky to see that it's markings had turned into blinking yellow eyes.

"I said don't look at it! And move! You've only stunned it!"

I ran like crazy and was pulled up on top of a ledge. 

"Could you have gone any slower?" I found myself looking into a pair of familiar amber eyes.

"Itona!" 

"Yeah yeah, I saved you and all but the fight's not over yet." Itona said and began tugging at a rock. "Come on! You're more muscle then brains! Help me!"

Together we pulled out a small but heavy rock from beneath a pile of rocks.

"No offense or anything but how it a rock going to kill the..."

 

Before I was finished speaking the pile of rocks collapsed, crushing the jabberwocky.

"Aw yeah! That's right! I'm the boss!" I cheered.

Itona clawed me.

"Alright alright. We're bosses" Then I realized something. "Hey, why aren't I home?"

"Maybe it's not dead" Itona said. Upon closer investigation it was clear it was really dead.

"Well then the only other explanation is that you didn't face your fear" Itona said. 

"What? What's scarier then that!" I snapped.

"FREEZE!" a new voice yelled.

"Oh no" Itona sighed.

"Put your hands up!" a second voice said. "And turn around!

We did to see...

"Mr Karasuma, Bitch Sensei?" 

 

It was them but they were dressed as...playing cards? And they were holding sharp spears at our chests. 

"Don't move." Mr. Karasuma said. "We're taking you to see the queen. You will be executed for your crimes"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunn....
> 
> Anyways, kudos info, In the time it took to write this the grand total of kudos became 93!!!! Can we get to 100? 
> 
> Anyways, I lied, there's gonna be one more Terasaka in wonderland chapter :) 
> 
> Next chapter's gonna be regular plot again, and one more thing, I read a new itotera fic by Kodasaur and I loved it so it's totally worth a read is what I'm sayin'.
> 
> Well that's it. You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	42. How I pretended to know what I was doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a day that students everywhere have learned to fear!! THE DAY THEY PRESENT PROJECTS!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo!!! It's time for another chapter!! For the last few chapters of this book I'm gonna switch P.O.Vs back and forth except for the last Terasaka in Wonderland chapter. 
> 
> 94 kudos!! Can we get to 100? 
> 
> And that's all I have to say! Chapter time!!

Terasaka's P.O.V

The alarm clock woke me up way too soon. 

"SHUT UP!!" I yelled at the clock. I wanted to sleeeeeeep. So maybe I watched TV until one thirty! I was ok! Until my stupid clock woke me up. 

It was Monday. The day we were supposed to present our electronics project. Shoot. 

But being the genius that I am I created a foolproof plan for presenting!!! Let Itona do the talking and stand there and nod at the important sounding parts. What could go wrong? 

Hopefully Koro sensei won't make me talk because if I do I'll have no idea what to say. Better think of a backup plan if that happens. Let's see. I guess I could always talk about the weather or pandas. Who doesn't love pandas? 

 

I went through my normal morning routine. Get out of bed, get back in bed and sleep longer, get out of bed for real this time, walk out of my room, run back and get dressed, trip over at least three cats on my way to the kitchen, decide I don't want something healthy and eat cookies for breakfast, Walk out the door for school, realize i have more things I need to do, do those things, walk out again, run back because I forgot my stuff, get my stuff, and finally leave. 

I know. I need to workshop my routine.

"Hello friends!" I said as I arrived at school.

"Ok no. You're way too happy for the morning" Hazama said.

"Way too happy for a monday morning" Yoshida said.

"Way too happy for a monday morning that we have to present projects in" Muramatsu said.

"Ok. Point taken" I said. "Where's Itona?"

"Not here yet" Hazama said. "He'll probably be here soon" 

"Good. Otherwise I'll have to do work" I said.

"And we wouldn't want that" Hazama said rolling her eyes.

"No we wouldn't." I said. "WAIT! ARE YOU BEING SARCASTIC!!!"

As the morning went on I realized that Itona hadn't shown up yet, so I did the polite thing and texted him.

 

ME: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!!!

ITONA: In bed.

ME: WTF!!! 

ITONA: With a temperature of 102 degrees.

ME: WTF!! YOU COULD STILL BE HERE

ITONA: 102's a fever idiot. 

ME: Oh. You still could come in. 

ITONA: If I could stand up without feeling dizzy. 

ME: You still could come in. 

ITONA: Idiot...

ME: Come on! I can't present our project by myself! You did all the work while I slept!

ITONA: Oh right. That's today.

ME: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "OH RIGHT"

ITONA: Well today we're switching roles. You work, I sleep. Goodbye. 

ME: SCREW YOU!!! 

 

Let's just say I was in a bad mood the rest of the morning. 

 

Itona's P.O.V

Everything hurt. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. 

"Easy does it Itona. You may feel like you're dying now but once the chemical settles in your body you'll feel fine." Takaoka said. 

He'd insisted on a last minute injection and I had let him. If I knew that it was going to be this painful I would have refused. It felt like I was being stabbed with a million knives and I was bleeding out, if I hadn't already coughed up most of my blood. 

"Your friend says "screw you"" Takaoka said, holding up my phone. "Anything you'd like me to text back"

"Just...leave it at that" I managed. 

"Alright. Your friend seems rather annoyed at you"

I wasn't surprised. If my grade goes down for this one I'll make Terasaka regret it...if I survive this.

"Just breathe" Takaoka said as a fresh wave of pain washed over me. "It will be over soon"

 

Soon hadn't arrived yet four hours later. 

"Your friend seems to be freaking out" Takaoka said, reading my texts again. "He wants you to give him a "play by play" of everything he's supposed to say. Didn't you say that you've been working on this project for months? Hasn't he been paying attention at all?"

"No" 

Takaoka seemed surprised. I guess he hasn't had a chance to study Terasaka-level intelligence. Maybe I'll study it some day and make a million dollars.

Oh wait. I can't. Because in a week I'll be a military weapon. 

"What do you want me to say?" Takaoka asked.

"Give...give me the phone. I'll...take care of it"

 

Terasaka's P.O.V

"And this is our...project" I said, forgetting the name of the little robotic vehicle we...Itona made. I was hiding my phone behind it hoping Itona would answer it. 

"It's very shiny" I continued. "Let's take a moment to appreciate how shiny it is" 

I could see my friends laughing. Finally I got a response from Itona. 

 

ITONA: Talk about the internal wiring.

ME: The what?

ITONA: Say that all 71 individual internal wires are connected to a single miniature circuit board. 

 

"All 71 individual internal wires are connected to a single miniature circuit board." I said. "That's a lot of wires and not a lot of...circuit board."

ME: I need more!

ITONA: Tell them the design was simple and basic.

 

"The design was simple and basic" I said.

"Poor Itona. I guess he had to make it basic to work with you" Karma said.

"You want me to throw this at your head?" I asked.

"Karma, Terasaka," Korosensei warned. "How about I ask you some questions Terasaka?"

"Can't we just be done?" I asked. "I mean, I don't want to bore you all"

The class was chuckling.

"Just a few Terasaka. How did you make this machine?" 

I texted Itona the question. His response was not helpful. 

 

ITONA: I couldn't possibly list the whole process. Just make something up."

"Did you hear me Terasaka?" Korosensei asked.

"Yeah" I said. 

"So how did you make it? You can give me the short answer" 

Itona did say to make something up. "Grit, Spit, and a whole lotta duct tape" 

The class was laughing harder now. 

"Um, alright. Was there a specific rule you had to follow to make the machine?" Korosensei asked.

"Um, No cuts no buts no coconuts?" 

The whole class was laughing hysterically. 

"Thank you Terasaka. That will be all" Mr. Karasuma said. 

"Oh thank god" I said as I returned to my seat.

"Itona's gonna kill you" Hazama hissed as I walked by. 

 

Itona's P.O.V 

I was in bed. What? A second ago I was texting Terasaka. Did I pass out?

Looking at the clock confirmed that suspicion. It was five hours later. 

"Hey there" a voice said, scaring me. 

"God! My voice isn't that scary!" said a familiar idiotic figure.

"Oh. It's you"

"Yeah it's me! What? No confetti?"

"Ha ha" I said, rolling my eyes. "How'd the presentation go?"

"Not good" Terasaka said. 

"What did you say" 

"No cuts no buts no coconuts"

"Oh my god" I face palmed. "Are you trying to make me fail?"

"Maybe" Terasaka said. "How're you feeling?"

"Better" I said. 

"I felt your forehead when I came here. You were burning up"

"Still think I could have gone to school?"

"Yes" Terasaka said stubbornly.

"Wait. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?"

"About half an hour. Why?"

"You were watching me sleep?"

"Yeah"

"Stalker!" 

"I wanted to make sure you were ok!"

"You're still a stalker!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"Am not!"

"Are so!"

"What's today's date?"

"Are...I don't know. Why?"

"Just curious"

"Idiot. Why'd you go and break up a perfectly good fight?"

"Because" 

 

Talking to Terasaka definitely made me feel better. 

 

Terasaka's P.O.V

"HAHAAA!" I crowed. "C+ FOR EFFORT AND ENTERTAINMENT VALUE!" I said, waving my grading sheet around.

"You got lucky" Muramatsu said. I don't know what he was complaining about since he got an A plus on his cooking project with Hara. 

"Yep. Definitely lucky" Itona said. He was back at school that day. 

"Come on! Entertainment value! I'm solid gold baby!"

"No buts no cuts no coconuts" Muramatsu said.

"Grit and spit and a whole lotta duct tape" Yoshida said.

"Let's take a moment to appreciate how shiny it is" the two said together.

"You stupid idiot" Itona said facepalming, 

"I WAS IMPROVISING!!" I yelled. 

"Clearly." Hazama sighed.

"Remind me to never work with you on a project again" Itona said. 

"It would have worked out fine if you were there!" I snapped. 

"I was sick!!!" 

"YOU STILL COULD HAVE COME TO SCHOOL" 

"NO I COULDN'T"

"STOP YELLING" Mr. Karasuma yelled. "Is the idea of an indoor voice dead?" 

It probably is.

Itona's P.O.V

"Do you think a human is more likely to die of ramen poisoning or a falling coconut?" Yoshida asked.

"Is Muramatsu's ramen involved?" Hazama asked.

"Sure"

"Then ramen poisoning"

"HEY!!!!"

"It's true" Terasaka protested.

"You have no right to speak Mr. No buts no cuts no coconuts" 

"ARE YOU HOLDING ME TO THAT!!!"

"Hey, it can be your graduating quote" I said.

"NO!"

"Hey, what do you think all of our graduating quotes should be?" Hazama asked.

"Your's should be "Shut up and read dammit" Yoshida said.

"Ha ha" 

"I guess Yoshida's would be "Who needs a driver license?" Muramatsu said.

"Well yours would be "Eat ramen or die."

"You might die if you eat the ramen though!" Terasaka pointed out. 

"And your quote would be "I'm stupid" Muramatsu growled.

"HEY!"

"Itona's would be "I'm with stupid" Yoshida added. 

"No way! His would be "I wish I was taller" Terasaka said.

"Hey, being short has its perks" I said. "For example, a short person is in kicking range of vital areas, so don't make me mad"

"Valid point" Hazama said. 

"You wouldn't dare" Terasaka said, covering the "vital parts" in question. 

"Try me" 

"You're a brutal little shrimp"

"Aw thanks. Such a high compliment" 

"You guys are weird." Hazama said, rolling her eyes.

"You're one to talk. You read books!" Terasaka yelled.

"Because no one does that"

"I think I'm the smartest out of all of you because I don't read books!" Terasaka yelled.

That broke us. We all started cracking up.

"Hey! I was serious! STOP LAUGHING!!!" Terasaka yelled. Idiot. 

 

Terasaka's P.O.V.

It 'twas the end of school thank god, so I could finally ignore people quoting my presentation. 

I attempted to run out of the door before Maehara.

"No cuts no buts no coconuts" He said, blocking my way.

"SCREW EVERYONE HERE!!!" I yelled as people continued laughing. 

"Alright, calm down" Itona said, dragging me through the crowd. "Don't strain yourself"

 

We were walking down the mountain, just the two of us. 

"Hey Itona"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry"

"For what?" he asked, turning to face me.

"Screwing up this presentation thing" I said.

"I don't blame you. I should have at least have prepared you for that" 

"No I'm serious. It was an awesome project and you should have gotten more credit"

"And I'm serious. It's ok. 100% ok."

"No, it's not. I could have at least tried" I said.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Itona said.

"Nothing!!!" 

"Yeah sure. Because you apologize for messing with me regularly."

"Ok fine. Maybe something is bugging me"

"Called it"

"Shut up!"

"Alright, spill it. I'm listening"

"What! You want me to share my feelings?"

"It's a long walk down."

"You're weird. Fine. Ever think about titles?"

"Like To kill a mockingbird?"

"No! Like personal titles. Like Isogai's prince charming, you're the short one..."

"I'll ignore that"

"And what's my title?"

"The stupid one?"

"Exactly"

"And you don't like that?"

"WHAT!!! I HAD A WHOLE SPEECH!!!!"

"I can read you like a book. I'll stop calling you stupid if that's what you want"

"It's not you, I'm actually ok with you doing that"

"Hallelujah. That would be a hard habit to break"

"I mean, I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I don't want to be the class Idiot you know?"

"I get it. I was upgraded from "the freaky lab experiment" to "The sarcastic one that hangs around with Terasaka"

"I will allow you and the gang to call me idiotic SOMETIMES but no one else"

"Ok. How about I start the attack of the robots and kill anyone who insults you"

"Violent much? And you'd do that for me?"

"As long as I continue my plans for world domination"

"You have the weirdest sense of humor." 

"I know" 

"Nice day isn't it?"

"Idi...why are you talking about the weather?" 

"Good effort"

"I told you it would be a hard habit to break."

"Mean"

"That's a compliment. Being nice never got anyone anywhere."

"You have strange views on the world"

"You try being experimented on and look for the bright side."

"Easy! Look at the sun"

"Which causes skin cancer."

"Thank you Joe Positive." 

"Any time"

"Why are all of our conversations so weird?" I asked.

"I don't think anyone could answer that" Itona said. 

We were almost to the bottom of the hill. 

"No offense or anything, but you kind of do make stupid choices" Itona said.

"Like what? May I ask"

"How about asking me out a month from now?"

"Oh I'm sorry I can't magically make the movie come out sooner!" I snapped.

"Which is why you should go out with me sooner"

"Let me wave my magic wand and...what?"

"You heard me. Go out with me. Tonight"

He was staring at me. Like if I didn't say yes he'd kill me. 

"Oh ,um..."

"Are you going to answer or not?" Itona said, balling his hands into fists. 

"This is a scary way of asking someone out..." I said.

"Well I've never done it before!" Itona said. "Is it supposed to be this nerve-racking or did I screw it up already?" 

"Chill out" I said. "Work on being less scary and you got it down. And yes"

"Huh?"

"I'll go out with you. Thank god I'm not asking"

"Ok then." 

we were both silent.

"We're really bad at this"

"We really are"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! New chapter coming soon! Don't forget to bookmark or leave a kudos! What's next for this story? Well I don't really know :p BUT I'LL FIGURE IT OUT!!! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and you only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	43. How...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No need for a summary here! This chapter's gonna be off the rails!! That's all I'm sayin'!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've officially been writing this for over a year! Just letting you know!!!
> 
> And, I want to give a special shout out to Fanta, for leaving some excellent comments and boosting my confidence in myself!!!
> 
> And I also wanted to tell you all about a new ItoTera fic written by Kodasaur! It's called The Class Camping Trip and it's super awesome and totally worth a read! I know I loved it, and if you guys want something to read while I take my sweet time on updating, there you go!
> 
> Finally we are up to 98 kudos!! Dang guys!!!

Itona's P.O.V

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. 

I've clearly lost my mind because for some reason I just asked Terasaka out on a date. 

Ha! I've really lost it! Those tentacles have finally eaten away my brain because I couldn't have possibly have done that if I was thinking clearly.

Ha! Ha ha ha! I've...I've lost it!!!!

 

For the sixth time I broke out laughing. Takaoka, who was looking at his notes gave me a weird look. 

"Are you alright?"

"I..I have no idea!!!!" I said, laughing harder. 

Takaoka watched me a moment longer. I don't think he understood human emotions. Heck, I don't understand them. I have no idea what's wrong with me! I've never been this happy. Something's definitely wrong with me! Or maybe I've never been this happy before because I've never honestly been happy until I met Terasaka...Oh jeez. What did that last injection do to me?

"Are you certain you are alright?"

"Yep! I'm great! Awesome! Fantabulous!!!!""" Fantabulous? Who even says that? I'm a broken human being. 

Takaoka gave me a final weird look and went back to his notes. 

I started texting Terasaka.

 

ME: YOU BROKE ME!!!

ME: You seriously broke me!

ME: Brokemebrokemebrokeme

ME: I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe

ME: Are you a wizard? Is that how you did this to me?

ME: Yes! That's it!

ME: Magic Terasaka!!!!

ME: It makes perfect sense!!!!!

TERASAKA: Um, you ok?

ME: I DON'T KNOW!!!!!

TERASAKA: Well calm down. As much as i want it I'm not magic.

ME: That makes sense. The world's still here isn't it?

TERASAKA: HEY!!!!

TERASAKA: You're acting weird. Like really weird.

ME: You broke me. I'm laughing, and my face hurts from smiling and everything seems right in the world, and I'm using words like fantabulous

TERASAKA: I don't believe it!

ME: Is this some kind of brain issue? Am I going to die?

TERASAKA: And you call me the stupid one. No. You're fine. You're on an emotional high.

TERASAKA: I didn't know you could get this happy. 

ME: Believe me. I didn't either.

ME: BUT LIFE IS FUN!!!!!

TERASAKA: Wow. I wish I could be experiencing this first hand. 

TERASAKA: Your smile is adorable 

ME: HEY!!

ME: IS NOT!!!

ME: STOP MAKING ME BLUSH!!

ME: I JUST ADMITTED THAT!!!!

ME: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!!!!

TERASAKA: I love this new happy shrimp. 

ME: This is so weird!!!!!!!

TERASAKA: What made you so happy?

TERASAKA: It couldn't be me could it? XD

ME: Maybe. you are a wonderful person

ME: And you are very tall. don't take that for granted. 

ME: And you're stupid but who likes a smartass anyways?

TERASAKA: Ok, meet me at the park in five minutes, I can't take not seeing this any more.

ME: OK!!! YEAH!!! OUTSIDE!!!!!! 

TERASAKA: Can I video this?

ME: NO!!!

ME: MAYBE

ME: I'LL CONSIDER IT IF YOU BRING ME CHOCOLATE!!!!! 

 

As promised we met each other at the park. 

"I don't even recognize you! In the entire time I've met you I've only seen you smile for two seconds at a time" Terasaka said.

"Are you sure you're not magic?"

"Last time I checked yeah. I also can't fly and use the force. I've checked"

"What? How?"

"By sitting in one place, staring at the remote and trying to make it come to me"

"Oh. Well that makes perfect sense!"

"I know right!"

"You broke me" I said again.

"Clearly. Hey when are we having that date"

I know my face turned a color to rival the world's ripest tomato.

"Awwww" Terasaka teased.

"Quiet" I muttered, looking away. 

"Hey, you asked me." he teased.

"You asked first" I grumbled. "A month from now"

"IT SEEMED FINE AT THE TIME!!" Terasaka yelled. 

I was laughing at him now. 

"I'm a newbie at this!" I snapped. 

"I...I noticed" I laughed. 

"I want to say I want you to go die, but I don't. Is it weird I can't imagine life without you?"

I froze. "Huh?"

"I care about ya shrimp. There's a reason I didn't let ya die."

"Thank you, oh great Terasaka for sparing my pathetic life" I said, bowing.

"Stop it" he said, whacking me on the head. 

"Well sorry" 

He smirks at me. "You've changed so much."

"You haven't"

"Says Sherlock, and yeah, I have changed thanks to you. If you hadn't fooled me I never would have seen your bastard side..."

"Gee thanks"

"...and became who I am now. I'd just be another bully."

I had forgotten about Terasaka's past. 

"You have to tell me some time"

"About what?"

"Your past. I like stories"

"Consider it a date"

And I was blushing again.

"You're so cute" Terasaka teased me.

"Stop saying that..."

"It's true!!!! Hazama agrees, and so do half the girls in the class"

"Well that's just great."

"You sound thrilled"

"Very good. This is me being thrilled"

"No, I think that's you being sarcastic"

"Can't get anything past you can I" 

"I see the emotional high has worn off"

"Thank god" 

"Jeez. Why is sarcasm your go to defense?"

"Because I get to say what I'm thinking"

"I feel like you would do that anyways"

"Wow you read me again. You get a gold star"

"Ok, we're going to try a game. Let's see how long you can be not sarcastic for. Maybe I'll give you a reward."

"Is it a puppy!!!!!"

"And you lose"

"Come on! Give me another shot! That was too good to pass up!"

"Fine. And go." 

"Ok..."

We sat in silence.

"Nice night isn't it?" Terasaka said, the idiot.

"So it is" 

We sat in silence some more. 

"ALRIGHT!!! NO MORE SILENCE!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!" Terasaka yelled. 

"I win" I said. 

"I guess you do. I guess I owe you a prize"

"Oh goody" 

"Are you going to be sarcastic as possible now?"

"Did it figure that out all by itself?"

"I see the answer is yes. Alright shrimp, let's roll. I'm cooking you dinner!"

"Your house is miles from here"

"I have my van!!!" 

"Oh...great"

 

One terrifying car ride later we arrived at casa de Terasaka. 

"You have not lived until you have tasted my cooking!" Terasaka said. 

"Because it's so bad your victims die right after?"

"Let me tell you a story" Terasaka said as he pulled cooking materials out of a cupboard. 

"Ok"

"Once upon a time there was a valiant person. His name was Terasaka."

"Surprise surprise" 

"One day Terasaka's octopus teacher told him and his class if they could ace a class they could cut a tentacle off as an assassination attempt. Terasaka and regular classes and books were not friends. So Terasaka, and his valiant gang decided to give it their best shot..."

"And they failed horribly the end?" I asked. 

"Wrong! They aced home ech and made some of the most delicious food ever!"

"Didn't see that coming" I said. 

"Well try some of this and you'll see it's true" Terasaka said, putting food in front of me.

Terasaka's P.O.V

"But it still doesn't make sense!" Itona was saying to me. "How can you have a talent"

"Shut up!"

It was the next day at school and the students were creating a new assassination plan. 

"I can be talented!"

"At what? Stupidity?"

"Like you're talented!"

"Oh hi, I don't think we met. I'm the guy who builds robots from scratch."

"Well...I have muscles!!!"

"So do I genius."

"Mine are bigger"

"Because you're bigger then me!"

"Shrimp"

"Idiot"

"Jerk"

"Asshole"

"Ahem!" Isogai cleared his throat. 

"You done?" Karma asked.

Honestly no, but we decided to shut up. 

"Ok everyone" Isogai said, and launched into a complicated explanation that lost me instantly.

"That's not going to work" a familiar voice said. 

"What do you mean?" Isogai asked 

"It's too simplistic" Itona said. "Korosensei will see it from a mile away. You're not strong enough. You're all pathetic"

"Jeez shrimp. That's a little harsh" I said, shaking him. Then he turned to face me.

His eyes were the same blank as they were when I first met him. And then the moment passed and he looked normal again.

"You ok?" I asked, a little freaked out. 

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why are you all staring at me?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Why are you trying to stare into my soul?" 

"uhhh..."

"Continuing on..." Isogai said, and lost me again. 

 

"Ready to go shrimp?" I asked as me and the gang gathered our stuff, preparing to head to Muramatsu's.

"Yeah."

"You in for plate frisbee?"

"No! You broke thirty of them!" Muramatsu yelled.

"And I saved the lives of seven." Itona said.

"So you can catch better then me. So what?" I asked.

"A restraunt needs plates idiot." 

"I KNOW THAT!!!"

"So why do you keep breaking them?" Muramatsu dead panned. 

"Well you can just buy more right?"

"I'M NOT MADE OF MONEY!!!"

"Jeez, relax." 

Itona was laughing at me. This entire conversation started because of catching things. How weird. TIME FOR A TEST!!!

"Hey shrimp"

"What?"

"CATCH!" I yelled, flinging an anti sensei knife at him. 

"That was a terrible throw" Yoshida said. 

"SHUDDUP!!!!"

"Ow!"

I turned in Itona's direction. 

The knife was on the floor and he hastily pulled his hand out of sight, but I could have sworn there was a burn mark in the exact shape of a knife. 

 

Itona's P.O.V

I stared at the mark on my hand. It hurt, but I was more bothered about why it happened. Anti sensei stuff always stung a bit, but this was the worst it had been for a while.

"I told you to stay away from anti sensei material." Takaoka said as he looked at my hand.

"I didn't ask the idiot to throw me at my face" I muttered, wincing at the sting. 

"Hmmm" Takaoka said, feeling one of my tentacles. "I think you're ready."

"For?"

"The final stage"

"Oh yes. Goodbye normal life" 

"Oh Itona. Itona, Itona, Itona."

"What? My sarcasm's not going anywhere"

Takaoka chuckles. "You are a nice pawn"

I'm reminded of Shiro. 

"You were useful like this, you'll be even more so now" Takaoka is smiling, and it's scaring me.

"What do you-"

"Think back to the recent symptoms you've experienced. Fainting, blackouts, burns. Seem familiar? No no, don't say anything. They're the same symptoms you experienced under Shiro's supervision. You were my...toy. But playtime is over. By tonight, well you'll be a clean slate."

My mouth goes dry. Dread is crushing me. How could I have been so stupid? That last injection, it was intended to turn me back into that souless weapon. I'll lose everything. Personality, the ability to think for myself...Terasaka. 

I won't be able to think. I won't be able to do anything. I'll be the same I was before. I...went down the same path again. Power power power. Terasaka's not the idiot. I am. 

And to think I had something there. Did I love him? I think I did. I think I do. Does he love me?

He's going to hate me for this. 

I need to see him. 

 

Terasaka's P.O.V

"Why are you freaking out?" I asked as I met him at the tree we had a climbing war on, and the same one we were at when we were kidnapped. It's kinda become our place.

"Terasaka...I...I..."

I'm definitely scared. He can't even talk right. 

"Shrimp! Are you ok? Blink twice for yes!"

"Terasaka" Itona says quietly. 

"Itona" I say. "Are you ok"

"Not really" he says with a weak smile. 

"Itona, you're scaring me" I say. "What's happenin-"

And he's kissing me. Not me kissing him, him kissing me for the first time. 

So I do the logical thing and kiss him back. 

And soon we're up against the tree kissing like the apocalypse is coming tomorrow. 

 

"Ok, something is really off or you just won the lottery" I say. 

"I'm sorry" Itona says. "You were a good friend you know."

"Um..."

"You're an idiot but you stuck with me"

"Itona, you're scaring me."

"I'll miss you..."

"Are you committing suicide? Because if you are I'm not letting you walk away."

"I wish I was"

I stare at him. I was very close to calling 911. 

"Goodbye Terasaka"

he turns away.

"Wait!"

"I...I love you" and then he's gone. 

 

Itona's P.O.V

I'm shaking so bad I can hardly see. It's happening all over again. I hold on to that last memory of Terasaka. I tried to hard to readjust to life. 

My head throbs. Only a few more minutes now. Takaoka watches me suffer, a smile on his face. I'm too weak to fight him. 

I should have told Terasaka, but I was too weak to do that too. 

Funny thing how being weak makes you more of a person then power does. 

I can feel memories slipping away. My vision blurs. I want to hold on but I can't.

I want to tell Terasaka I love him again but I can't. 

I want...want...

...  
...  
To be strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeesh, Angst all the way huh? And I know, you all are screaming at me to update. I can take a hint! As you can see this is wrapping up. 
> 
> And guess what. remember how I said I had 98 kudos? 
> 
> Well things changed. 
> 
> There are now...111 KUDOS!!!!
> 
> OHMIGOD I'M SO HAPPY! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!
> 
> Anyways, I'll try to update sooner, but who knows. 
> 
> I'm going to go scream with happiness now :) :) :)
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!!


	44. How everything added up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dramatic-ness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AYYYYYY! YOU GUYS!!!! 121 KUDOS???? THAT'S INSANE!!! I luv u all!!!
> 
> I know, I take forever to update but I really try to make my updates good yeah? 
> 
> Anyways, no more talk, CHAPTER TIME!!!! (Terasaka's P.O.V to start)

Voice mail #1: ITONA!!!! ARE YOU OK!! YOU WERE ACTING SO WERID! CALL ME BACK!!!! 

Voice mail #2: Ok, sorry for yelling. But seriously, call me back.

Voice mail#3: Why were you acting so weird? Did you find some drugs? Can I have some? Call me back!

Voice mail #4: I was kidding about the drug thing. Please tell me you're not answering because of my idiocy

Voice mail#7: Itona, you're scaring me.

Voice mail# 10: ANSWER ME DAMMIT!!!

And voice mail 64: IT'S ELEVEN FREAKING O CLOCK AND I CAN'T SLEEP CUZ I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!!! ANSWER ME!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!

 

And on and on it went. 

I awoke the next morning having about ten minutes of sleep. And Itona hadn't called me back. 

I texted Muramatsu and Yoshida and half the world trying to see if anyone heard from him. Here are their responses:

 

Muramatsu: Idk. He didn't talk to me. I haven't seen him since monday. 

Yosida: Nah, haven't seen him. Why? You worried about your boyfriend? >_<

Hazama: No, but he's probably fine. He knows how to take care of himself. 

Karma: How should I know?

Takabayashi: Unfortunately I have not seen him. 

Nagisa: No, sorry, but he's probably fine. 

Ritsu: No! I haven't I'm so sorry Terasaka!!!! 

Nakamura: I haven't seen him. Why? You wanna get down with him? XD (Me: NO!!!!)

Okajima: No. Hey are you gay? (Me: CAN SOMEONE ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!!) 

Isogai: I haven't seen him. You know, he hardly talks to me...

Maehara: Nope. Sorry. Have you noticed he never talks to Isogai?

Kataoka: I haven't seen him. Is it just me or does he never talk to Isogai? (Me: I KNOW!!!)

Korosensei: No I have not seen Itona :( (Me: HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER)

Bitch sensei: HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER? And why should I know where brat #28 is?

Kayano: No I haven't seen him. You said he was acting weird? We need to talk. 

 

I decided to talk to Kayano because she seemed to be the only freaking one in a helpful mood.

But of course by the time I tracked her down koro sensei demanded that class begin. 

 

"Anyone know where Itona is?" Isogai said during role call.

"GEE THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION! TOO BAD I ALREADY ASKED IT AND NO ONE ANSWERED!" I yelled.

"And Terasaka is here" Isogai said, checking my name off. 

IS NO ONE ELSE CONCERNED!!!! 

 

As luck would have it I didn't have a chance to talk to Kayano for the full first half of the day. I was now sitting alone watching a microwave burrito..microwave. 

"Why is the burrito getting a death glare?" Kayano said as she walked up to me.

"Because someone else deserves to be in a bad mood" I said. "Do you know where Itona is? Is he ok?"

"I don't know-"

"WHAT!"

"-But I might have a few ideas." Kayano finished. "You said he was acting weird?" 

"That's an understatement" I growled. "He was freaking out, acting like he was leaving or something...and then stuff happened" 

"I need more detail!" Kayano snapped. "What stuff?" 

"Uh...you know, stuff"

"NO! DON'T KNOW!" Kayano snapped. "Details Terasaka! I thought you had more intelligence then people thought but...Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. OH!"

I think she understood. 

"EEEEEEEE!" she squealed. "THE SHIP HAS SAILED!" 

"AND ONE OF THE PASSENGERS IS MISSING SO GET BACK ON TOPIC!" I snapped. 

Kayano's face fell. I thought I saw tears in her eyes.

"What! What's wrong! He couldn't have...He didn't...off himself did he?"

Kayano shook her head. "They...they came for him."

"WHO!" I demanded. "WHO CAME FOR HIM!" 

Kayano leaned over and whispered in my ear.

The burrito exploded, and so did my mind. 

 

"That stupid stupid idiot!" I snapped as I walked across the grounds. "How could he! HOW COULD HE!" 

And then I was run over by a truck.

"AAAAAAGH!" I yelled, as a truck barreled right towards me up the mountain.

A yellow tentacle pulled me out of the way just in time.

"TERASAKA WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!" Koro sensei wailed.

"AAAAAAGH" was my response. (The hell am I supposed to say after almost being roadkill, or hill-kill. WTF AM I SAYING!) 

 

A small herd of trucks drove up and arranged themselves in a circle facing the school. 

"What a suspicious herd of trucks" I said. Hazama stared at me.

"A herd of TRUCKS?"

"What? Is there a different word for it? A gaggle? A smack?"

"You idiot" she muttered. 

 

Well the sinister herd of trucks was still there. All us students were gathered by the windows. Finally an armored vehicle that looked like it belonged in a nuclear war drove into the middle of the circle.

"A satanic truck herd ritual" I said. The rest of the class stared at me. 

"Just stop talking" Hazama said. 

So I did.

 

Koro sensei went out to the front of the building to confront the herd. The lead truck's door opened and a man jumped out.

"Hello "Sensei" he said cheerfully. "I believe you've met by brother. My name is Fumiaki Takeoka, and you will surrender yourself to execution!" 

"No way" I said, along with three others. You could see the resemblance. They had the same maniac gleam in their eye. 

"I'm afraid not" Koro sensei said, with the same cocky expression he used for us students. "I'm afraid the government hasn't had much luck so far"

"Oh I'm no friend of the government" Takeoka said. "Now if you die right here and now, no one else needs to get hurt, and my friend can stay in the dark."

As soon as he finished speaking the armored car rattled violently as if something was fighting to get out. 

 

"What's in there?" Rio asked. 

"Well let's see what your friend can do" Koro sensei said, expecting some easy attempt.

There was the mistake. 

 

"Very well" Takeoka said. "Say hello to an old friend of yours, remastered. He won't recognize you, or care about hurting you, so don't waste time trying to get through to him."

The armored car's doors slowly opened. We could see the gleam of some animal's eyes in the back.

No

Not an animal. 

 

Itona's P.O.V (sort of)

 

Stronger....Stronger stronger stronger.

There's a fight coming...I have to win...winwinwin..any cost.

Blood. There will be blood. Lots and lots and lots.

I want to feel it.

Driiiiiiping down my tentacles. I will kill

and kill and kill and kill

And kill the one I am supposed to kill too. 

Weapon. It's all I am.

Am I someone? Do i serve? A purpose?

Yes.

To kill. To be stronger

stronger.

STRONGER!

I want to kill

Kill them all

Show that I'm the strongest

The strongest ALWAYS!

Don't fail

Don't fail don't fail don't fail

Light.

The doors are opening

It's time

To show them I'm stronger.

The strongest.

Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we go! Sorry it's a short chapter. I started working ahead and just realized I forgot to post this chapter. Whoops!
> 
> Anyways, that's it for now, a new update is coming soon my lovelies!
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!


	45. How there was a showdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the title says...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me two weeks ago: I can't write angst
> 
> Me in the last chapter: Imma attempt angst!
> 
> I tried screwing around with Itona's whacked up POV in the last chapter and might do it again so we'll see how that goes! Terasaka's POV to start out with, and away we go!

Terasaka's P.O.V

Oh. My. God. 

It's...

But it's not...

He looks so...

Angry? No. In pain. 

 

The whole class stared in shock. It was Itona...sort of. He was in this black cat-suit thing (Which I'll admit he looked great in) with no bandanna. 

And the tentacles. Swirling around him like some sort of weird tornado...thingy. 

Out of everyone, Kayano looks the most horrified, that is, until I see the reflection of my face in a truck window.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!" I yelled. 

"I did nothing" the creepy scientist guy says. "Itona did this to himself. Oh, I know who you are, Terasaka"

"No, I'm Hazama" I said. The real Hazama kicked me. 

"Oh no you're not. All Itona talked about was how you'd be so angry if you saw him. Before he started choking on his own blood that is. All that pain. Such a weakling,but not any more."

"You sick freak!" I yell. "You deranged son of a bitch!"

"A cheap human who will resort to insults, not action" Takeoka said. "A common bully. To have any power you must act. Itona, if you would" 

 

Without blinking Itona turned his attention to one of the vans. With a flash of white the van was reduced to scrap metal. 

"I don't think any people made it out" Karma said grimly. We could all see a small pool of red forming under the rubble. 

 

Itona just killed some guys. 

"I didn't think he'd ever..." I trailed off.

"That's not Itona" Kayano said gravely. 

"Well we have to be able to get through to him somehow!" I yelled. 

"Terasaka" Nagisa said. "I don't think that-"

"Screw thinking!" I yelled.

My loyal friends applauded me. 

"Alright Mr. We're-all-one-class" I snapped. "If you could bring yourself to save him last time you can do it this time! We hardly knew him last time and now we're classmates! Well? Am I gonna help him by myself?"

No one moved. Bastards. 

"By myself it is" I growled and walked towards the chaos. 

 

I focused on attempting to be sneaky. 

"Where are you going?" Takeoka called, spotting me instantly. Dammit. 

"Uh, to the bathroom" I said. 

Takeoka looked at me in confusion. 

"The bathroom...OF JUSTICE!" I yelled, running forward. 

 

That was not a smart move. In under two seconds I was flung into the air and slammed against a wall.

"Actions, my blockheaded friend" Takeoka said.

"Ow..." was all I managed. 

Itona stood over me. He didn't seem to recognize me. 

"Itona...it's me...you know...the idiot..." I wheezed. "Thanks a lot...for breaking my ribs..." 

He didn't even blink.

"Come on...you've got to be acting..." I said. "Please...just take me to a hospital...you seem...strong enough to carry me..." 

His eye lit up for a moment. He knelt down beside me. 

And who said I couldn't get through to him huh? 

 

"Strong" Itona said softly. "You...say I'm strong?"

"Yes very very strong! Now take my broken body to get fixed..."

"...you're weak"

"Yes very weak, I'm dying..." 

"Then I'm stronger"

"Come on Itona!"

"And you're the weakling. The slow witted cow"

"Itona..."

"My prey" He stands up.

"What are you..."

"Something repulsively weak as you does not deserve to live" He turns to me.

"So I kill you"

 

A yellow blur intercepted the white one speeding towards me 

"TERASAKA MOVE!" Korosensei yelled.

I attempted to stand, fell over, tried to crawl, failed, and finally rolled away. 

 

Mr. Karasuma gave me a once over.

"You're fine. Ribs aren't even broken" 

"WHAT"

I walked back over to my friends.

"Good job" Hazama said, then she saw how shaken up I was. 

"He's not thinking" she said gently. "Korosensei will help him" 

 

Korosensei was looking surprised. I guess Itona was stronger then before. (It certainly hurt more)

"This is quite interesting" Takeoka said. "I was not aware he could speak" 

"Score one for my discoveries" I muttered. 

Korosensei was glaring at Takeoka. I didn't blame him. I wanted to kill the bastard. For Itona, and my ribs. 

 

"Well Korosensei? Shall we continue with out little match? Itona seems ready."

Itona turned to face Korosensei with that weird blank look. 

"I really am sorry Itona" Korosensei said, getting those green stripes back "But if you're going to be like that I may have to tire you out just a bit"

Itona simply cocks his head like a dog. 

"Then we'll see who's stronger" 

"We will indeed Korosensei says"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S IT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA!!!! I thought it was a perfect cliff hanger so I left it at that XD 
> 
> See you next chapter~ 
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!


	46. How I injured myself further (Physically and mentally) part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka refuses to give up on his shrimp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GOT AN AMAZING COMMENT. Yes indeed! Whatisthisreader gave me this super long awesome fun to read comment which made me feel better about writing this! (Who needs commas? NOT ME) 
> 
> And yes, it's been like a month since I've updated. 
> 
> Just read the chapter and I'll explain after

I thought a death match would be different. 

I also thought I'd be able to see it.

THEY WERE MOVING SO FREAKING FAST I COULD BARELY SEE A THING

So here you go. Mach 20 death match from my sight: 

They look at each other and FWOOSH they're suddenly too fast to see

Two minutes later Itona gets thrown against the building (Ooooh Everyone said) 

"Experience Itona" Korosensei said. "It never matters how much strength you have if you don't have the knowledge to match it."

If that's true, I'm in trouble.

Takaoka doesn't look happy with this little turn of events. "It seems I may have miscalculated you Koro sensei. Oh well. Itona, continue."

Itona gets to his feet like he doesn't feel any pain at all. (My ribs envied him) 

 

In the next half hour of the death match Itona repeatedly got struck down. At one point he got up from being thrown face first into a building and had blood pouring down his face. AND HE DIDN'T SEEM TO FEEL IT! 

Takaoka calmly stood there and watched Itona get struck down. It was almost as if he was purposely directing Itona into places where he'd get more hurt, like this psycho doctor was studying pain...

Studying.

Not only was it one of my least favorite words, but Takaoka was studying Koro sensei by using Itona to see all his moves. 

Finally Itona started to get up from the crushing blows slower. He seemed worn out and was shaking. 

"That will do Itona" Takeoka said. Within seconds the remaining satanic trucks and Itona, and Takeoka were gone.

 

I didn't sleep at all that night. Some deranged doctor had my shrimp. My classmates didn't help my shrimp. My teacher beat up my shrimp. Itona was suddenly my shrimp. 

I got up again for my 56th glass of water. (It seemed like something to do) 

I was too lazy to turn on the light so I blundered downstairs like a blind man. (Do I know the layout of my own house by now? NO!) 

I was pretty sure I was almost to the kitchen when I tripped over something. I fell with a crash that pretty much sounded like I had been shot. In all my half asleep glory I thought I had been shot.

"AAAAAGH!" I yelled. It was the chair. Not a chair, but THE chair.

There was a story behind that chair and it involved Itona.  
*********************************************************************************************  
It was the middle of December shortly after my attempt to hibernate. (Long story) 80% of the light bulbs had burned out in my house and Hazama decided that I was not to be trusted changing light bulbs on my own. Itona had been elected for Terasaka-sitting. (I'm sure he didn't volunteer)

We used the chair for reaching the light bulbs.

"Hey Itona"

"What?"

"Maybe you should bring the chair with you all the time. Then you'd finally be tall"

He kicked me. "Just change the last one dummy. I can't reach it even with the chair."

"On it. What's it like being short" I asked as I climbed on top of the chair. 

"How about you stick your hand in the bulb socket"

"Why?"

"So you get electrocuted. Witty marks are wasted on people like you."

"I wouldn't get electrocuted" I said as I unscrewed the bulb.

"Yeah you will. Basic electricity." 

"Well watch this!" I challenged. I stuck my hand into the socket. "I'm still alive!" 

"Well good for you"

"It seems that Mr. Electronics doesn't know his stuff as well as we thought" 

"Just come down"

"Fine" I said, preparing to make my dramatic...

"Itona"

"What?"

"I'm stuck"

And I was. I couldn't get my hand out of the ceiling. 

"I'M STUCK IN THE CEILING!" I yelled. 

Itona stared for a minute. 

"Itona help!"

"Kay, give me a second to cut off your hand"

"ITONA"

"Fine. Hold still." Itona climbed up on the chair next to me. It never occurred to me how close we were.

"I still can't reach"

"Damn your shortness"

"Damn you. Bend your knee out. NO NOT LIKE THAT! Like that. Good. Don't move." Itona was using my knee as a sort of step ladder.

"My god Itona. Be careful"

"Just hold still ok." He began moving my hand around in the socket. 

"It don't think it's working"

"On three ok?"

"What?"

"One....three!" he yanked down on my hand pulling it free.

"OW" I yelled, jerking back, and almost dumping Itona on the ground. 

I managed to catch him before he fell.

And then it was me, standing on a chair with Itona clinging to me.

"You can put me down" 

"Sorry"

My hand was bleeding pretty bad after being yanked out of a roof. 

"BLOOD!" I yelled, accidentally getting blood on the chair. 

"You're ok you baby." Itona said, dragging me into the kitchen.

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow"

"Stop being a baby" Itona said, eyeing the different cabinets. "Are there any band aids?" 

"Third cabinet from the left. No sorry, fourth." I watched him climb on the counter. "Ha. You're still short" I said weakly. 

Itona threw the box of band aids at me, then came back over. "Hold still. For real this time" 

He wrapped my hand in up in some complex form of band aid skills.

"Woah!"

"I know, you're not dying. Wow"

"Not that! The band aid."

"Yeah, I know band aids are pretty rare. Try to contain your excitement"

"NO!" I said, cuffing him on the head. "I mean the wrapping the band aid...stuff. Where'd you learn to do that?"

"When you're a lab experiment you learn things. I had to learn how to patch myself up. Like so" he lifted his shirt up showing me this crazy intense scar on his side. "Had to sew that up myself." 

"Woah..."

"Yeah"

"You're so scrawny"

"Shut up" he said, slapping me. "Next time you can bleed out"

"You know you love me"

"Whatever"  
*******************************************************************************  
I looked at the bloody chair. I missed my shrimp. 

 

The next day at school there was a lot of tension. Every few seconds someone would look back at Itona's empty desk. Or at the badly repaired wall he busted through. (No one really fixed it right. It was the source of a buttload of memes that almost made Itona go into hiding) 

I went over to his desk during lunch. His tool kit was still under it. I had many memories connected to that toolbox.

**************************************************************************************

Once upon a time I ended up with Itona's homework and he ended up with mine. Even though all I had to do was erase his name and write mine, I strongly felt like I had to switch them back.

This lead to me trying to find out where Itona lived. I knew he was staying in a hotel. And that was it.

Finding one hotel in downtown Tokyo. Easy peasy....

...is what I would say if I had any idea what I was doing.

"Alright Google" I said. "Find "Hotels"" 

"Calling Hara" 

"No no no!" I yelled. "Hotels!"

"There is no one named "Hotels" in your contacts" 

"I said, find hotels!"

"Searching "safe to tell" 

"NO! Ugh. Kill me"

"calling Koro sensei" 

"Dammit dammit dammit" I said, smacking my phone. "You are no help google!" 

I needed a new plan. I didn't want to resort to it....but I googled things the old fashioned way. 

Over 9000000 hits. All I had to do was find the right hotel.

"Google! Play, "champion"" 

"Calling Mom"

"NO ANYTHING BUT THAT"

After I managed to shut down that little issue I decided to actually make a plan.

That involved running around downtown going into every hotel I could find. 

 

"HI THERE" I yelled, sprinting into a hotel. From the looks of things I nearly gave the clerk a heart attack. "I'm looking for someone. Yay high, looks like he's judging you all the time, a minor?"

I probably should have left that last part out because now the clerk was looking at me like I was a mass murderer. 

"No no no. He's my friend. I'm a minor too! Uh, if you see him tell him Ryoma Terasaka was looking for him" And then I ran away. 

 

I saw another hotel a few feet away and ran in there too. 

"HI!" I yelled. I'm looking for my friend and I promise I'm not here to murder him. He looks really grumpy all the time and kinda reminds you of a shrimp." I'm guessing the guy didn't understand a word I was saying but I kept going anyways.

I must have gone into fifteen different hotels, one of which was for DOGS. I was about to give up when my phone rang.

"H-hello?" I said, panting

"Why are you running around like an idiot into different hotels?"

"ITONA!" I yelled. "where are you?"

"The first hotel you visited. I was told that there was a suspicious character looking for me, freaked out then saw you running around"

I went back to the first hotel.

"Hi again"I said to the clerk. She pulled her purse closer to her. Am I really that scary? 

 

"Thank god" I said once I was safely in Itona's room. 

"What the hell were you doing?"

"I have your homework" I said, holding it out.

"You really couldn't have done that sheet or called me?"

"Um...no"

"Idiot" Itona said. "well no point in you leaving now unfortunately." 

"Hey!" I snapped. And then I realized that this was the first time I had ever been where Itona lived. There were lots of little robotics projects, some finished, some not, and they were so shiny!"

"Don't even think about touching anything" Itona said. I pulled my hand back. 

"It's so cool though!"

"I know" 

"Seriously, how did you make these" 

"Magic" Itona said. "But they're probably all worthless"

"No way!" I said, sneakily reaching out to touch something. 

"I don't think any of these could actually kill Koro sensei" Itona said. "I want to do more but, I'm pretty much useless" 

"You are not!" I said. 

"No, I am. You don't know what it's like. To have power, then have nothing."

"You have me" I said.

"I lose power, get an idiot. Yay" 

"But you're so not useless."

"Until I can kill koro sensei, I'm useless"

That was the first time I ever noticed that maybe Itona missed his old life. 

"Hey, you're much better now" I said.

"What?"

"Yeah. You're a human being now! And a member of the Terasaka gang! You are my property now!"

"Slavery is illegal" 

"THAT CAME OUT WRONG"

 

For the rest of the night we exchanged really crappy puns, and I did my homework (I totally didn't copy) Towards the end I started watching Itona mess around with his robot thingies. 

He seemed calmer knowing he was in control of something  
**************************************************************************************************  
I had been standing there staring at Itona's desk for ten minutes when Muramatsu ran in scaring the bejesus out of me.

"TERASAKA"

"AAAAAGH! WHAT?"

"HE'S BACK"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! Ok, So I have school, and a life so I can't be on here 24/7 (but I want to) and I didn't think anyone was actually reading this but then out of the blue I got a comment that said, and I quote: FINISH THE FUCKING FANFIC
> 
> Yelling at me works guys. It works
> 
> I can't believe I went this long without updating and I'm so sorry! I'm finishing it, and if I'm taking too long yell at me again!
> 
> Ok that's it, You only live life once so be sure to Livitup! I'm out!


	47. How I injured myself further part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And more writing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god. I love you guys. I'm gone forever but you still read this. THE SUPPORT IS REAL! Anyways enjoy!

I sprinted down the hall, missed the turn, and then ran back and sprinted outside...

...only to be flung back inside by a yellow tentacle. It seemed that korosensei thought we would be safer inside. 

"DAMN IT" I yelled, then continued to swear for ten minutes. The one and only thing I've learned in language arts is how to swear in other languages. 

"Terasaka, calm down" Hazama said. "Itona would probably rip someone apart if we were out there. It will be ok."

"NO" I yelled. "NO IT WON'T. THE TENTACLES ONLY WORK IF THE USER WANTS TO FIGHT AND ITONA WANTS TO. HE'LL KEEP GOING UNTIL KOROSENSEI DIES OR HE DIES. SOMEONE WILL END UP DEAD!!"

Now the class paid attention to me. I guess they weren't entirely heartless because I don't think anyone wanted Itona dead. 

"Maybe we should do something" Isogai said. 

"Yes! Listen to Prince Charming!"

"Maybe we could help korosensei so he could beat Itona without killing him" Maehara said. 

"Yes! Listen to Prince Charmings boyfriend!"

Maehara punched me in the arm.

"Well, any ideas?" Karma asked lazily. We all wracked our brains. I got another memory flashback.  
*********************************

"This is my sexuality." I said, holding up a wooden ruler. 

"No, this is your sexuality" Yoshida said holding up a bendy ruler thingy and making weird shapes with it. 

"Wrong" I snapped. "I'm straight" 

"Suuuuure" Muramatsu said. Then Yoshida took it too far. 

"THIS IS TERASAKA'S SEXUALITY" he screamed and took off running with that ruler. 

Korosensei came inside just in time to see me chasing Yoshida yelling GIMME THAT SEXUALITY. 

And then we got the. "LGBTQA is a ok" speach. 

The sexuality ruler was not seen until the end of class. Itona walked up to me and plunked it on my desk. "Here's your sexuality"

"NOT YOU TOO" I yelled. And then I chased my gang around with the sexuality ruler which turned out to be pretty deadly. 

"Hey, let's use the sexuality ruler for good" Hazama said, and we taped an anti senses knife to it. 

We pretended to be goofing off and when korosensei came over to take the ruler I attacked. 

"SEXUALITY RULER" I yelled, slapping him with it. 

Somehow our plan actually worked. Unfortunately we didn't have a follow up plan and korosensei recovered before we could think of a better plan.

After that little failure and a gold star for effort from korosensei we went outside and played catch the sexuality ruler. 

"Itona, think fast" I said, flinging the ruler. He caught it but instantly dropped it. 

"Ha! Nice catch" I laughed. He flipped me off but didn't pick it up. 

"What's the matter? Scared of sexuality rulers?" I asked teasingly. 

He didn't answer. He looked at the ruler for a bit then kicked it at me before walking inside. 

"Aw come back" I said. But he didn't. Looking back I thought I saw a burn mark on his hand...  
***************************  
It made sense now. Anti senses matirial still burned him. There was one weakness. 

I was thrown into another memory flashback before I could fully process the first one.  
*****************************

We were trying to hang a vegetable. Don't ask. We were doing a project on medieval stuff and my gang picked the lovely topic of tourture. We were doing a live demonstration. I was wearing an execution mask and everything. 

"ON THIS DAY" I yelled to the class "WE EXECUTE THE TRAITOROUS SCUM, FRED THE CORN FOR THE CRIME OF, um, WATCHING THE SALAD DRESSING"

Hazama face palmed. 

"FRED IS HEREBY SENTENCED TO DEATH." I yelled. I motioned to Yoshida who pulled the little lever on the vegetable guillotine that we made and that was the end of Fred the corn. 

"The guillotine was a popular way to execute criminals" Hazama said in a monotone. Her job was to read the facts. Itona built the veggie tourture weapons and Yoshida and Muramatsu executed our prisoners. I got to stand up there and yell. It worked out.

After we executed Mark the cucumber, Ricky the carrot and Marcel the leak, korosensei told us we had time for one more veggie death 

Maybe we were having a little too much fun. We did have about 40 vegetables lined up to be executed and I did laugh like a maniac every time we killed something. 

Anyways, for our grand finale we settled for hanging Napoleon the third, the tomato. SO MAYBE WE GOT WAY TOO IN TO THE NAMING. 

It is harder then it looks to hang something. Especially a tomato. We tried three times then eventually just stabbed Napoleon to death with a pencil. Tomatoes are good at looking like their bleeding.

And then it was time for the grand finale. I read on wikipedia that in ye olden days people burned bodies after killing them so I decided to burn Napoleon the third. 

"AND HE BURNS" I yelled, striking the match against the box. It lit and went out again. 32 matches later I'd had enough. 

"YOSHIDA! WHAT ARE YOU? A FREAKING CAVE MAN? WOULD IT KILL YOU TO BUY A LIGHTER?" 

At that point Itona walked over and lit a match for me. "There you go"

"Show off" I grumbled. But now the tomato was burning. "HE BURNS" I yelled, lifting Napoleon the thirds burning body up. 

Now that wasn't smart for several reasons. For one I burned my hand. And I triggered the fire alarm.

Everyone yelled at me as we were soaked and I got a few soggy books thrown at me. 

Korosensei let out a high pitched scream and fled the room. 

"Well shit" I grumbled as my gang glared at me. 

Then I realized Itona was missing. I saw him hiding under a desk. 

"What're you doing?" 

He was muttering to himself, "water water why water why did it have to be water"

"Is he having a Vietnam flashback or something?" Muramatsu asked. 

Hazama shook her head. 

"I thought you were getting better with water" I said. Itona kept muttering and shook his head. 

I went to the back closet, got an umbrella and came back. " will you come out now?" I asked, holding it out. 

Itona nodded and crawled out.  
*********************************  
So water was another weakness. 

I hadn't processed that thought either when I got one final flash back.  
******************************  
"GO NERD" I cheered as Takebayashi mixed some chemicals. The little nerd had come up with a plan and was preparing to put it in action. 

"Thank you for the support Terasaka" Takebayashi said, rolling his eyes. 

"No prob. Hey Itona, take a look at this" 

"I'm good" Itona said from the other side of the room. 

"Wimp" I muttered. "I don't think anything will explode this time."

The last three times Takebayashi had gotten the chem equipment out there had been three explosions, all of which caught Itona in the crossfire. 

"Chemistry is fun" I said, sneakily reaching for a glowy red liquid. Takebayashi slapped my hand and I was told to not touch anything. 

A little while later Takebayashi had finished his master creation. 

"Ooh" I said. I seemed to be the only one who was impressed by the results. 

"Will it work?" Some one asked. 

"We should have let Okuda do it" Karma said. 

"STOP IT! YOU'LL BREAK HIS LITTLE NERD HEART" I snapped. 

"It just needs to simmer." Takebayashi said adjusting his glasses. "Then we'll know if it works."

Waiting is not fun. That seems to be the one lesson I live over and over again. I sat there staring at the beaker waiting while screaming eternally. 

"You can blink you know" Hazama said after the fifteen minute mark. 

"Right. I knew that" I said. "Itona, be entertaining"

"No" he said. I turned around to see him burying his head in his arms. 

"Woah hey, you ok?" 

"I'm dying" he said. 

"I'll call 911" I said. 

"My hero" Itona said. 

"Actually I'll play doctor" I said. 

"Oh no" Itona groaned. 

"Rate your pain! Ten being fine, one being you're dying."

"It's the other way around stupid"

"Whatever. You get the idea"

"I think I'm having an allergic reaction or something" Itona said facing me. 

"Jesus" I said. His eyes were red and watering and he sounded pretty congested. 

"Now let me die in peace" he said, putting his head back down. 

 

I went and found Takebayashi. 

"You're slowly killing my shrimp" I said, pointing to Itona who was doubled over in a silent sneezing fit. 

"Wonderful!" Takebayashi said running over. 

"Well that's harsh" I said. 

"No no no. That means it's working"

"Oh. Yippee" I said. 

Takebayashi picked up the flask which now contained powder. 

"I recreated the "bug bomb" you set off last summer" 

"Oh" I said. The most I remembered from that day was getting tentacled in the stomach and getting punched and duped and... it was a bad day. 

Takebayashi went over and started drilling Itona with questions. I could tell Itona would've bitten his head off if he was feeling up to it. 

Takebayashi seemed to have gotten the answers he wanted and was now explaining to the class what he had made. 

"How're you holding up?" I asked Itona. 

"Terrible" Itona said. His nose was running and he looked miserable. 

I ended up going on about fifty tissue runs. 

The assassination attempt ended with Takebayashi cleaning the classroom because the powder somehow exploded and Itona escaping outside because he couldn't take it any longer. 

It was another weird day.  
*********************************  
I now knew three weaknesses. 

"I think I know how to bring him doe " I said slowly. 

The class stared at me. 

"Nerd, I need your powder stuff." I said. "Sadistic bastard...I mean Karma I need water. Everyone else I need all the anti sensei material you can get" 

And then the most amazing thing happened. The class LISTENED to me. 

"Guess you're in charge Terasaka" Nahisa said cheerfully. 

"Not a good idea" Hazama said. 

"Shaddup" I said. 

Once we had the gear it was battle time. 

"You want a fight Itona? Well you're gonna get one" I said dramatically. 

And the. I walked into the doorframe on the way out. So much for dramatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And scene! I like doing these little flashbacks, you all like em? 
> 
> I wrote this via phone so sorry if there are some grammar errors. 
> 
> I really have to get in a normal posting pattern don't I? 
> 
> Well that's it for now, you only live life once so be sure to Livitup!
> 
> See you all next time! Yeah!


	48. How there was a battle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AND THEY GO TO WAR! TO ARMS! TO ARMS...what am I doing XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I better do a disclaimer XD. I obviously don't own assclass cuz if I did there would be a whole lot more ItoTera moments. But, for those who care, I, Livitup, have no legal claim to the anime or the characters. 
> 
> Anywho there's been about three Terasaka chapters in a row and I'm sorry but it's a little hard to write for Itona. I might attempt to tho. Also, I might do some writing from Takeoka's p.o.v. 
> 
> You guys ok with that OC? I hate OCs my self but this felt necessary. I might give him some backstory, he's just the bad guy for now. 
> 
> But seriously, comment and tell me what you think of him. I CANT MAKE CHARACTERS WELL!!
> 
> Annnnd we're done ranting let's start the chapter! Terasakas p.o.v to start. Here we go!

The fight was not going to well for Korosensei when the classroom Calvary arrived.

Then again, we probably didn't look much like a Calvary because all we had were water guns, and our semi impressive anti sensei weapons. I know, so cool. 

Takeoka was standing there in what seemed to be a new lab coat. It pissed me off how a son of a bitch like him can go and change his freaking coat while making people suffer. Changing his coat as Itona's slowly becoming...not Itona. People who can just change their coat while people are hurting because of them, thinking that their soooo much better. I hate those people. It's one of the reasons I became a bully, even though I know people like me will always end up under people like them. 

Itona ended up under those people a lot of times. It shouldn't be that way. Itona's not like me. He's not the same type of person as I am. Sure he has his "idiot moments" I mean, lets face it, the guy barely knows how to socialize, but that doesn't mean he should be kept under people

He's the kind of person who won't exactly be on top, but he'll be up there, pulling the strings from the shadows. A sort of sidekick. 

When those days come he shouldn't be controlled by anyone. Because he's special. 

And entirely different from me. 

 

I can see stupid coat wearing Takeoka smiling as we approach. Itona's beside him, face expressionless. No tentacles yet.

I tried to look intimidating. "WHAT'S UP YOU GIANT PRICK" I yelled.

"STUDENTS NO!" Korosensei wailed.

"OCTOPUS YES" I roared. "WE'RE ENDING THIS NOW!"

I was hoping that would maybe scare Takeoka, but it didn't. I didn't know about Itona. God knows what was going on in his head. 

 

I could tell every single one of my classmates were semi nervous. Kayano had given us this lecture on how to handle Itona, and the main point of that was that he was unpredictable, he's pretty much insane, he probably doesn't recognize us or hear us, and there's no point in talking to him.

It was a really calming speech. 

What was even less calming was how Itona watched us approach. He if he noticed, he didn't care. Why would he? We weren't really a threat to him, or so he thinks. 

 

Our plan was kind of simple, or as Karma stated, easy for everyone but Terasaka

I thought it was yet another crack at my intelligence but he mainly said that because I had the hardest role. But I'm pretty sure there were some intelligence insults somewhere.

"Well Terasaka?" Takeoka said. I didn't want to know how he knew my name.

I glared at him and slowly raised my middle finger. About a quarter of the class followed my lead.

"You like it too I see" Takeoka said, voice still annoyingly calm. "You like being strong too. I can help you. I can make you strong" he extended his hand.

"HELL NO" I yelled, and fired at him with an anti sensei bullet. It bounced off. I'm guessing the bastard was wearing a bulletproof vest.

"Have it your way" Takeoka said. "Itona, show them some real power"

"Bring it onnnnNNNNNAAAGH!" I screamed. Itona had wrapped a tentacle around my foot and now I was dangling over fifty feet in the air. 

"TERASAKA" Nagisa screamed.

"AAAAAAAGH" I yelled back. Being held upside down at an impossible height was bad enough but then Itona started moving me.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA" I screamed as I was whipped around in a circle.

The class then took aim at Itona. "No way he can dodge all of this!" Nakamura cheered.

"Itona, rid yourself of the excess weight" Takeoka said.

Then he dropped me.

I fell screaming a very loud unmanly scream. And then it occurred to me that the last sound I ever make could be a really girly scream.

Seconds before I hit the ground a yellow tentacle flung me to safety...

...right into Karma.

"Stop fooling around Terasaka. We need you taking action"

"Wow" I moaned. I was 99.9 percent sure I had developed a fear of heights.

"Alright" I said, standing up and facing Itona. "Let's try this agaAAAAAAAIN!!" And then I was tossed into the air again.

This happened five more times.

"I can't get close to him!" I said, getting up again.

"No really" Hazama said, rolling her eyes. "Here's an idea, let him throw you"

"WHAT?" Then she handed me something. A bucket filled with gamechanger is what I now call it.

Itona was probably minutes away from landing a killing blow on korosensei. Takeoka was watching like some kind of sick puppeteer.

"I'M BACK IN BLACK" I yelled, running forward. Itona lazily swept me up again. But this time I had him.

<>"EEEEEEYAAAAASH" I yelled, not having anything better to yell as I ripped the plastic covering off the bucket and dumped the water over Itona's head.

He recoiled and nearly fell over.

And that was when he flung me. Right into the school.

Takeokas P.O.V

Clever. I expected this one to be a dimwit. Yet his choice of tactic. So random, so impulsive, so... Stupid. Itona never saw it coming.

He has the burning look of a power hungry wench. With his size he is most likely a bully. Common, dumb, easy to beat. Then so why...

Why is Itona stalling. He could have crushed the fool under his tentacles. Mere flinging won't swat the annoying fly. The most damage he's done the whole fight was throwing the lunk into the building and that was purely accidental.

Well this is the fabled Terasaka after all. The one who Itona so passionately spoke of. Human emotions. So constricting, squeezing power out of you.

So that is why you must cut yourself free.

Terasaka's P.O.V

I didn't want to get up. I wanted to sleeeeeeeeeep. But why was my bed so hard? I was bleeding. What the...

I sat up. "Oh thank goodness" Okuda said.

"Am I dead? Is this heaven"

"Easy there big guy" Karma said, stepping into view.

"Oh. I guess not"

Korosensei was really in trouble now. I had to do SOMETHING! I stood up and...

"AAAAGH!" Everything hurt. I fell over.

"Terasaka stay down!" Nagisa said.

"No..." I growled and tried to stand.

"Don't be an idiot!" Kayano said.

"ITS KINDA WHAT I DO" I yelled. Then it hit me.

"I KNOW HOW TO BEAT HIM!" I cried. The class stared at me.

"Just distract him" I said. "I'll do the rest"

The class went at him with everything they had. Nagisa, Kayano and Karma held him at a standstill with knives for almost two minutes. The rest of the class doused him with water and threw handfuls of powder at him. Then it was my turn.

Itona's P.O.V

Annoyances. Distractions. I'll kill them! I'll kill them all. All but one. One stands alone. I am stronger. He approaches me.

Terasaka. I'm sorry.

Terasaka's P.O.V

"Hey Itona!" I said. "What's going on? Enjoying power? Is it everything you thought it would be?" 

Itona gave me his creepy blank stare.

"Ok. Good talk." I said. "Let's talk a little more though." 

"Itona." Takeoka said. The man was able to get his attention with one word. Not fair.

"SQUIRRELS!" I yelled suddenly. Itona turned his head towards me and I truely channeled my inner idiot. 

"ATTACK HUG!" I yelled. Itona might have been all jacked up on god knows what serum, but I would forever be bigger and stronger. Itona struggled against me, I felt tentacles glancing off my back. Itona couldn't get me off without hurting himself. 

"Sorry Itona." I said, panting. "I know your biggest weakness. And it's not water." 

 

I actually only knew this because of pure stupidity. While I was unconscious from being thrown into the damn school I had the ultimate flashback.

*********************************************************************************************************************

"Hey shrimp." I said. He was sitting inside working on his tank while the rest of the class were outside. This was only a few weeks after he joined the class so he was still a little anti social. Well, he still is, but he was even more so. 

"What do you want?"

"Wanna go out there?" I asked.

"No." 

Itona those days was mainly a lot of one word answers and cold stares. 

"Why not?"

"Because."

"You can't be like this forever." I said. "In fact, I'm gonna wait here until you're ready to go out. 

Also in those days I underestimated Itona's ignoring skills. He acted like I hadn't ever been there. I hate being ignored so I took drastic measures. 

"99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL! 99 BOTTLES OF BEEEEEEEER! TAKE ONE DOWN PASS IT AROUND 98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL!" 

Itona gave me an evil stare. 

"What? Don't know that song?" I asked. Itona went back to work. 

"Ok enough!" I yelled. Being ignored is my kryptonite. "Go." I said, poking him in the side. Itona turned away from me. "Don't touch me." 

"I will touch you as much as I want!" I yelled. Itona gave me a look that clearly said "You creep." 

I kept poking him until he doubled over. At first I thought I was hurting him, but then I realized he was laughing. 

"Damn. You're really ticklish." I said, laughing myself. 

"Damn it....stop...it" Itona managed. 

"You gonna go be social now?"

"Yes!...yes...just stop..." 

*****************************************************************************************************

At this point Itona had figured out what was happening. 

"No-"

"Yes!" I said, starting my attack. 

It worked perfectly. I was a master tickler after my little sister. Itona was no match for me! 

Takeoka was screaming orders but Itona was lost to the world. He was laughing so hard he was crying. Eventually his legs gave out and he was on the ground. I didn't stop for a minute even though I was getting some very painful finger cramps. 

"Now, was that hard?" I asked. 

"Stop it...stop it..." 

"Nope. You look better smiling anyways." I said. "Everyone says that the expressionless look's your thing but you look better like this.

For a minute it seemed like he had chilled out but I knew he hadn't.

"Sorry buddy." I said, pulling the tranquilizer gun out of my back pocket. Itona made a small sound of pain when the dart hit him. "Just relax" I said. "We're gonna fix this. His eyes slid closed and I knew we had won. 

I just hoped he was ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while for some reason XD anyways, thanks so much for all your supportive comments! I love you all! Also, remember Kodasaur's fic? Well it's finished so go and read it! 
> 
> Also, I wrote a new fic, it's stranger things so if you want to read that too go ahead.
> 
> Again, thanks for all the love and you only live life once so be sure to Livitup!


	49. How I battled a science nerd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terasaka is willing to do anything to protect his shrimp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been half a year!!!!!
> 
> After a bunch of comments I finally got my shit together and decided to finish this! This story needs an ending, it's about time I give it one. 
> 
> (Terasaka's POV)

It had gotten weirdly quiet for a dramatic fight. I'm no fan of being quiet, but this seemed like the right time. 

Itona could honestly be dead from the position he's laying in. He's pale, probably exhausted, he's injured, but despite all of that he looks peaceful. It's like he knows how close this is to really being over. 

That does not stop me from trying to find a pulse. 

"What the heck are you doing?" Hazama asks as I closely examine Itona's arm. 

"Trying to find a pulse." I said, twisting his arm. 

"Do you not know how to find a pulse?" Kurahashi says in disbelief.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A MEDICAL GENIUS!" I yell. 

"The correct answer would be no." Kayano said quietly from behind me. 

"Exactly!" I said, crossing my arms. 

"Here." Nagisa says, placing my hand on Itona's wrist. "Right there. There's his pulse."

It's light and fluttery, but it's there. I take it to be a sign that everything's gonna turn out ok.

"Well isn't this touching?" Takeoka says, clapping slowly. "There's more where he came from though. I just don't understand it. Why try and spare him? He's close to death anyways. Don't you all find the idea of him repulsive?" 

"That." I say, standing up. "is bullying."

"What an intelligent statement coming from, oh the class bully." Karma says. 

"And I do not like it." I continue, ignoring Karma. "When people bully my shrimp." 

"Oh dear, its angry." Takeoka said. 

I glare at him. My inner bully is yelling at me to slam his smart ass face like I would with a nerd....hang on. 

Takeoka isn't so big and bad. He's just a science nerd! I'm great at taking down nerds! As fast as I can think (which is not very fast) I create a new, more awesome plan! It's gonna be hard, it's gonna be dangerous, and it's gonna require a lot of idiot-ness, but it just might work.

"I have a plan." I said. 

"Oh no." said Hazama. 

"Shuddup." I said. "But we're gonna need time. Let's get Itona inside."

The class proceeds to follow my orders, Jesus it really is the end of the world. 

Korosensei takes his chance to shoot in out of nowhere and swoop the trucks away. Now it's just one truck and an angry science nerd.

 

I missed inside. Something about almost dying outside gives you a newfound love for the great indoors.

"Ok." I said. "It took me a while to realize it, but what we are dealing with, is indeed a nerd."

Everyone stared at me. "Last I checked we were dealing with a deranged psycho." Hazama said.

"Yeah, but like he's a psycho killer nerd!" I said, waving my arms.

"How hard did he hit his head?" I heard Maehara whisper. 

"I'M FINE!" I yelled. "Look, Takeoka's nothing more then a glorified science nerd. We just took away his best weapon! I'm great at kicking nerds! I'm just gonna need some distractions."

"This is insane!" Nagisa said. "You're gonna walk up to him and kick him?"

"And maybe a turbo wedgie." I say, cracking my knuckles. 

The class stares at me. "You're going to get yourself killed!" Isogai said. 

"I don't care." I growl. "That bastard put Itona through hell. It's time he gets the same treatment."

The class stares at me. Their silence, among other things, pisses me off. 

"Come on!" I yell. Do you not want to see this bastard punished?" 

"Well, Itona kinda brought this down on himself." Sugino said slowly. "Is it really worth getting hurt over this for him?" 

"YES!" I yell. "ITONA'S TRIED SO HARD TO BECOME ONE OF US AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO?"

"He did turn around and pick the tentacles over us." Isogai said. "I just don't think he cares about you as much as you do for him."

"You know nothing." I say. "And that's coming from the guy who literally knows nothing." I storm out the door. 

"TERASAKA!" Someone yells. Yoshida, Muramatsu, Hazama, and Ritsu on Hazama's phone come running over to me. I could have literally started crying.

"We're with you." Muramatsu pants. "God, that was a lot of running."

"C'MERE YOU FREAKING ANGELS!" I yell, pulling them all into a bear hug. I ignore their screams of pain and enjoy the moment. 

"We need to refine your plan." Hazama says, once I let them go. "Running in there and kicking isn't going to do much good." 

"Fine." I growl.

"You're going to need some form of a distraction." Hazama said. "And you can leave that to us."

"I never agreed to run randomly into danger." Muramatsu said uncertainly.

"I can take down the remainder of his technological advances!" Ritsu chirped. 

"Yeah!" I cheered. "Guys is this like James Bond or what!"

They all gave me deadpan stares. 

"Geez sorry." I grunted. 

"And while we're distracting you run in there and give him what's coming to him." Hazama said. "But don't do something stupid like kick him. Use your actual training."

"Yes korosensei" I say mockingly. Hazama kicks at me. Then she breaks into an actual not-creepy smile. 

"This is just like a book I read! I'm so excited!" 

I shake my head. As much as I resent them sometimes, I love these nerds, and I owe them a lot. 

"I can't believe no one else is helping." Yoshida said, crossing his arms.

"Screw them, who needs them." I said.

Muramatsu puts a hand on my shoulder. I shove it off. 

"Seriously, I'm fine! It's kinda funny though. I put all this effort into helping them with their never ending problems but when I need them, I get nothing except the people I had in the first place."

 

It was time. We were crouched behind the school. Taekoka was focsed on his battle with Korosensei. I didn't know why the octopus hadn't finished him yet. Then I saw the weird cannon thingy. It was firing these weird light beams at korosensei.

"Well this just got harder." Muramatsu commented.

"Ritsu take it out." I command. "I feel like a warlord! This is great!" I cheer. Everyone else shakes their heads. 

We exchange final looks. "It was nice knowing you people." Yoshida says.

"I'm hungry." I say. Hazama elbows me. I roll away. "Hungry....for justice! And also rice balls!" 

 

The plan starts out perfectly. The three of them go running out into the open much to the octopus's dismay. "NO!" he yells. 

"HEY ASSHAT!" Muramatsu yells. He takes a bowl of ramen out of his man purse and throws it. 

"Yeah!" I yell. 

After recovering from the ramen attack Takeoka tried to turn his cannon on them.

"NO!" I yell, running out from my hiding place. All of my bully training pays off in this second.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I yell, running straight at him. It's like watching his face change in slow motion. Anger, confusion, surprise, and what seems to be either fear or constipation. 

I tackle him around the waist and we fall to the ground.

"THIS IS FOR KAYANO!" I yell, punching him in the face. "THIS IS FOR MY RIBS!" I punch him in the ribs. "THIS IS FOR E CLASS" I punch him in the stomach. "THIS IS FOR YOSHIDA!" I kick him in the side. "THIS IS FOR MURAMATSU!" I slam my knee into his crotch. "THIS IS FOR HAZAMA!" I knee him in the face. "THIS IS FOR RITSU" I punch him in the jaw. "THIS IS FOR KOROSENSEI!" I twist his arm behind his back. "AND THIS YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!" I yell, "IS FOR ITONA!" 

I've completely lost control. I'm just punching him and punching him. Wherever he is, my fist or leg connects. He's yelling in pain, I'm yelling too, but with some kind of sick glee. My gang is staring at me in horror. I get it, it's been a while since I've been like this. 

 

Let's face it, the old Terasaka kind of sucked. If there was someone who pissed me off in a 37 mile radius, I tracked him down and beat him up. It was the simplicity of life. I liked being the big kahuna. It was satisfying. I liked seeing fear in people's eyes, also very satisfying.

I guess it gave me a sense of control. I really loved being in control. Turns out people really don't like the guy who controls stuff with fear and turbo wedgies.

The only friends I ever made were fellow outcasts. The guy who smelled like cheap ramen, weird hair dude, emo girl. I liked them though. I took them under my wing and the Terasaka gang was born. We terrorized people. I don't know if they liked it as much as I did. It was my life, I don't know if it was theirs. 

I had so much rage back then. I think that's how I was able to connect to Itona. I hated people who thought they were better, I resented my parents for going on so many business trips, I hated our mailman too. He was a smartass. 

Most of all I was angry about the things I couldn't control. Growing up, the weather, that dog down the street that would never shut up after 10 pm. 

And then along came the octopus. I guess I learned to hide and control that anger a little more, but that doesn't mean it disappeared, it was always there.

And that's why it felt so good to let it out now.

 

It had been several long minutes and I was still hitting him. I was yelling, I don't even think it was even words any more, and tears were streaming down my face. I could see the entire class had gathered behind me and was watching me. Worthless bastards. 

Suddenly a yellow tentacle pulled me away from the bloody, beaten mess that was Takeoka. The octopus.

"Terasaka stop! Stop!" he said, lifting my flailing form into the air. "It's over. It's all over." 

I found myself pressing my face into the octopus as the waves of anger washed over me.

The octopus comforted me. "You did good Terasaka, it's over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THERE WE GO! NEW CHAPTER! I hope you all got what you wanted, and another chapter is on the way soon. 
> 
> And while you're waiting, I highly reccomend that you check out the fics by Emperor_Quarter, they're amazing!!!!
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading! 
> 
> You only live life once so be sure to Livitup!!!!!! :)


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